Owls and Orchids

“To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude.” -Albert Schweitzer

image courtesy of accelerateme.net

Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, we find ourselves slipping and forget to be grateful for what is happening to us or someone we care about  because of  what we or someone else does.  Lets not forget the fact that our thoughts or those of someone else can also have an unimaginable impact on our life. Yet it is so easy to allow one or perhaps many of  the days happenings to alter that “attitude of  Gratitude” we need so much.

We forget the simple act of BEing present and mindful of what we are doing.  Being brutally honest, it isn’t always easy to think ‘globally’, our thoughts sometimes contract to the personal and it takes away our focus on the acts of gratitude played out moment by moment because we’ve stopped BEing mindful. Our focus is on us, how what is occurring is affecting us, or those we care about and we forget to be grateful for the multitude of great things which are happening.

I have to admit it, I’m no less human than the next person. I struggled with my own problems and those of my family and developed a bad case of tunnel vision. I wasn’t getting anywhere fast. Then a wonderful lady, a beautiful, gracious and generous beyond belief lady, developed a 30 day Gratitude Challenge which I did. It changed the  way I looked at things, it altered my focus and I began to be mindful of what was happening. I started BEing present in everything I did and became grateful for the many graces and blessings in my life. It wasn’t an overnight change, and although my third 30 day program is now over, the changes are still occurring and I feel a whole lot better about simply everything. After this I will keep on doing it because it feels wonderful seeing and feeling the good in my life.

image courtesy of teamaltman.com

That’s the good part, but I’m only human and the other day I slipped.  I was going on my short holiday, my Father in Law’s 80th birthday and a little time for us. Just a few days to ourselves after a truly pressure ridden period.  The day began well, apart from forgetting to reset my alarm so that we overslept and breakfast arrived whilst we were still sleeping. Yet I could see the funny side of that and could feel grateful the staff allowed us extra time to finish getting ready before we had to check out.

However, it was only a couple of hours later when my happy bubble developed a hole and things started to deflate. The mobile rang, not mine but my husband ‘s and the client from hell was calling. She has been the bane of my existence from the outset and my intuition told me this was going to be a good one. We are ON HOLIDAY!  Does this matter at all to her?  Absolutely not!  Despite knowing we were out of the office, on the road and trying to talk on a mobile in NSW, she kept right on. Her problem is really irrelevant, since it is an issue we can do nothing about.  Yet I knew it would be the first of many phone calls, being on holiday or not and I became annoyed and frustrated. How could I be grateful,under the circumstances?  I forgot to be thankful that we were away and it wouldn’t be our problem to solve. Easy to see now but not then.

Ok, I worked my way through that, BEing present and gaining that mindful approach. Then the phone rang again. A colleague over the same issue.  Sorted out but frustration leaking through. Another call from the client, wanting a situation changed which was impossible. Gratitude being drained, frustration mounting to fever pitch and finally the call to break the day.

My daughter rang, depressed, almost in tears and incredibly ill, again! She had been ill all week but had to wait until Friday to see her GP, only to miraculously ‘get well’ on Thursday. A great result one would think, however, as soon as her application for the house she wanted to rent fell through we were back to being stressed and ill again. Can I do anything from NSW?  No. So, now I’m worrying over what is happening with her, and feeling guilty that I’m not there to help. The mother instinct of course!

Image courtesy of  mirror.co.uk

Now, I know that this is not my problem to solve. I know she has to do this to ‘grow’ herself, yet the “mother” keeps saying it IS my responsibility to try to solve this. I am so ‘present’ in this that I’ve forgotten that BEing present and mindful does not mean I have to take ownership of the situation. I should have been grateful that I could help her grow by assisting her to solve her problem.  A second call was no happier and I still felt I should be there doing the ‘mother thing’. I can now say that she has found somewhere to move to, just moving in is a problem because of work. It never ends, we are tested and tried in the crucible of life and how we survive tells a story of its own.

To further complicate things, my husband’s son was going to his grandfathers party. He has rarely had any contact with them since his parents divorced when he was a baby.  A terribly sad situation. So now, we, are trying to make up for a situation we couldn’t control and he is old enough to do this himself. He is not a child but an adult! Time to stop the molly codling! Then I wondered if I was being harsh because of the situation with my daughter?  No! He is responsible for his actions now and excuses for poor behaviour simply don’t hold water. I’m annoyed that I’m trying to get him organised so that he does the right thing when he is the responsible one. He is an adult now himself! Bah Humbug!

So have I lost it again?  I’m human and I’ve probably not handled the situations as well as I might have. Yet I know I’ve been mindful, of all the aspects of the situation, I have been mindful of BEing present when everything was going down and I was and am grateful for so many things.

image courtesy of  churchofbass.org

I’m grateful everyone is in a position where their situations can be salvaged. Some more easily than others. I’m grateful  I’ve had my husband to talk through all these things. I’m grateful that unprompted he agreed with the ‘where to from here’. I’m totally grateful my father in laws birthday was a huge success and I enjoyed something to completely change my mindset or more correctly cement my attitude of gratitude into place by BEing totally present. I’m also absolutely grateful we had a glorious week of R&R, completely alone before returning home.

Now I know I may have overlooked some vital elements. I may not have gotten it “all right”, but I have to learn to accept less than perfection because I’m human, a big challenge for me. (Being perfect, perfection in all things was/is at times, a mantra).  Yet somehow I know it will be okay. I have my Gratitude journal to work with. Nicole seems to tap into everyone’s mind and her posts resonate all the time  I’m accepting I’m human and fallible and working from a place of acceptance. WOW, that’s a huge leap forwards. I’m so grateful for this. Things are really looking up. I’m BEing present, mindful and grateful.

“I am grateful for what I am and have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual.  It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite – only a sense of existence.  My breath is sweet to me.  O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches.  No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.”  Henry David Thoreau