Owls and Orchids

“In the small circle of pain within the skull
You still shall tramp and tread one endless round
Of thought, to justify your action to yourselves,
Weaving a fiction which unravels as you weave,
Pacing forever in the hell of make-believe
Which never is belief: this is your fate on earth
And we must think no further of you.” –TS (Thomas Stearns) Eliot  Murder in the Cathedral,

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There is little doubt that in many people’s eyes, in order to get anywhere you need to have belief in yourself.  I wouldn’t even presume to deny that, but I would make a huge distinction between belief in oneself and ones abilities and an ego so enormous that they feel threatened by a word said which they do not agree with.

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I remember, not too long ago, an aspiring psychic medium who was doing the rounds of any spiritual group they could get to in order to hand out business cards and dazzle whoever was there with their burgeoning abilities.  This was where I met her, at one such group. I was making no such claim to fame, I was there to learn and listen to people who had already demonstrated they had learned “the ropes”. Most of them were older than I, and older than the lady I met.

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When I met her some time later she remembered me and asked me to work with her – as her PA.  I wasn’t concerned, if I was going to be in the spotlight it would come in it’s own good time, and in the meantime I was content to help her out.

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We got along really well, I worked many more hours than we had agreed on but I didn’t care, I was enjoying talking to people and giving advice on occasion, as long as I didn’t step on anyone’s toes!  The clients liked me, so all was well.

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Then along came Mark.  Mark who became the “love of her life” and wanted to take over everything, her work, her life, her money.  He moved her to Eumundi where it took her hours longer to get to her clients, but he wanted to live there.  He wanted to become her “manager” and do away with my work altogether.  So he moved her to Sydney where she knew no-one, except a tenuous link to Jason A, who refutes saying anything to her at all.

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In the end she came back, had to refinance her home because she couldn’t pay the mortgage, couldn’t pay me – months of salary, couldn’t pay her accountant either. He called trying to find her because she hadn’t paid him for two years, bartering readings to get her taxes done.

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Eventually, she refinanced, paid off Mark and told me she couldn’t afford to keep me on. She would pay me as soon as she could get back on her feet. It was the last time I saw her or spoke with her.  Her mobile was changed and her website -well, I couldn’t get an answer from any contact number or place I had, not even her family.

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image courtesy of grouptherapylaverneca.wordpress.com

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Imagine my surprise when I saw an advertisement for her Animal Communications come through on my News Feed. Surprised – oh yes!  Still impossible to contact her so I posted a simple request to catch up when she was next on the Gold Coast. Not her home, but the Sunshine Coast is home to neither one of us now either. Response, “BUMP” (Bring Up My Post). Rude, unethical, morally bankrupt and downright ignorant. Not once but twice! What is she afraid of? Hmm.

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Why have I done this?  “BUMP” that’s why. Being dismissed in such an off handed fashion after all these years. I asked to meet for coffee – I really doubt she would honor a debt of thousands of dollars irrespective of how “successful and well known” she supposedly is.

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I had a serious accident on the way home from her place at Eumundi after working there for two days. I’m still suffering for it now. Insurance cover from her – nil.  Concern from her – silence is golden and speaks for itself.

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Ethics in the spiritual community and work is paramount. So how does she do it? I can’t answer this. I do know she owes me more than simply money.  A face to face meeting may go a small way to assuaging what she’s done thus far. Do I know where the skeletons are – of course. I have known all these years and no-one has been told. What does that tell you, my psychic friend?

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However, one thing I have learned from this. I am grateful for what she taught me, not to undervalue myself and what I offer to people, nor sell myself short by accepting platitudes instead of the money I rightfully earned.  Yes, I have an immense amount of gratitude for the lessons I learned. I hope no-one else has to learn the same way.