“If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.”
Confucius quotes
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It goes without saying that language, the art of communication is vital for everyone to express and share ideas, gain understanding of other people’s point of view, build and establish relationships of all kinds. In short it is the glue which helps to bind our society together, at least an important one. There are others, trust, loyalty, ethics and morality, concern for your fellow-man or woman, gratitude for what we have and so on. The list, if looked at deeply, can be immense. When things go awry it can lead to all kinds of awkward situations.
The other day I was trying to explain something. It seemed quite simple to me. It should have been a no brainer, at least to me. However, “they” were fixed in their train of thought and I couldn’t get my ideas across. In the end I was convinced they were being deliberately obtuse and simply didn’t want to see anything but their own viewpoint. I didn’t know enough or understand the subject to present a valid viewpoint. I felt hurt, annoyed, dismissed and wondering if I should be there at all. After all, if I couldn’t get a simple viewpoint across what use could I be doing there? I progressively distanced myself, became more and more distressed by the situation and seriously considered my involvement at all. Not a good result or a good place to be. It was also an exaggerated response due to a lack of connection.
Communication can be shared by more than the language we speak, more than the words we use. It is common to use gestures, facial expressions and body language to reinforce what we are talking about. Some nationalities are renowned for their use of gesturing whilst talking, it is almost an essential part of the communication process. (Think Italians for one). Someone who is adept at reading the tells (those indicators we subconsciously make as we are thinking or talking to another person) can be an invaluable aid when negotiating in business. It is invaluable not only in businesses but whenever we are trying to reach a settlement or agreement of any kind with another person or group of people.
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“Comprehension” has been defined as “the act or action of grasping with the intellect”, which makes “Incomprehension” – the “inability or failure to comprehend; lack of understanding”. Definitions aside, it is plain to see that if two people, (or more if you want to add more confusion,) are attempting to discuss something and they are unable to grasp what the other is saying, then one or the other will begin to be confused, it becomes frustrating and if you are fervent in your attempt to get your message across it can become aggravating, irritating and downright annoying. You begin to wonder if there is something wrong with the language you are using or the intelligence of the person you are speaking with.
However, when it becomes a case of incomprehension ruling the day, it may lead to all kinds of unpleasant results. Gesticulation is often increased, almost as if hand gestures will aid the explanation. The face becomes intense, words become clipped and there is an increase in blood pressure. Sometimes one person will remain fairly “relaxed” whilst the other party becomes increasingly flustered. This tends to increase the irritation felt by the other party. Alternatively both parties become irate, a recipe for disaster. In a group it is magnified ten fold. “What did you say?” can take on a whole new meaning.
This may seem rather amusing to an outsider. It may seem humorous to someone who is present but not involved. However, for at least one person this situation will be causing distress and possibly some angst if not anger. There is so much frustration attached to being unable to make yourself understood that you being to wonder if you are on another planet. Why oh why, is it so impossible for the other person to understand, what to you, is such a simple statement or concept? Therein lies the crux of the matter. We are all taught by different teachers. We all learn from the lives we lead and the people we associate with. Miscommunications, have in the past led to physical confrontations. It is becoming so commonplace we hear about it on the news on a daily basis. Our political leaders are not a good example as they descend to childish snipping for all to see. They have, on occasion, even resulted in a fracas in parliament.
Nelson Mandela 
Owls and Orchids 
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