Owls and Orchids

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“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

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One of my earliest memories is hearing my mother say the following words to me after I’d had a bad dream, “Don’t worry Darling, everything will be better in the morning”.  How that was meant to happen I’m not sure, but there’s no denying it had the desired effect of soothing whatever had caused the upset and let me drift off back to sleep again.  It often makes me wonder what happened to that little reassurance which soothed so many worries and troubles during the daylight or dark.  Since I’ve ‘grown up’ it doesn’t seem to have the same effect, for me at least, although it has worked on my children in the past.  Perhaps it’s the calm reassurance from an adult,especially a parent to their child, which holds the magic.  Whatever the reason, there are times I could wish it worked as well now as then.

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image from fairytalefacts.tumblr.com

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Dreams are simply reflections of our mind sorting out the facts from today, and all the other days and making a scenario trying to explain all that information. Any wonder it gets “Lost in Translation” and we wake feeling unrefreshed and confused about what we are supposed to do with ourselves? If our brains are the mighty computers of our body, and we are overloading all those memory chips, is it any wonder we get some garbled code at the end of the ‘data input’?

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Bad news has been battering at my door and I feel like saying, “Go away, I don’t want to hear any more”.  Of course that’s not going to happen.  The storms in Brisbane have cut a swathe of damage yet again and many friends and family have been affected. No-one hurt for which I am grateful and I pray that no-one else suffers too badly. Yet it seems it always happens at this time of the year.  A time for thinking about celebrating not repairing broken homes and lives. Memory drives me without mercy.

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image from AAP, taken in Brisbane Sunday.

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So I go to bed and all the thoughts of people who are not under a sound roof, safe and dry, who are ill or no longer with us, begin to pass through my mind and as I drift off they tangle into a story totally different from the reality of the situation.  I cannot control what happens to anyone else, not even my children who have their own homes and lives. No matter how much I wish I could protect them, I cannot. It is a hard concept to finally accept, and so my dreams populate themselves with ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybe’s’ because I still want to protect my ‘babies’, and because I cannot do even this I may say something to my husband which is unfair because I’m trying to reconcile my safety against theirs.  I have to find acceptance, self acceptance that I cannot control everything, even if I would wish it so. I have to be grateful for what is and accept what I cannot change. Such is life and balance must be sought always.

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There is no excuse for saying something hurtful, not to someone you love, even if you know you don’t mean it and it is worry which has caused it.  Once those words are out they cannot be taken back.   So tonight I think of all the things which have happened over the last forty-eight hours. My friends Nana passing, my cousin ill with cancer, being reminded of my father’s passing at this time every year, my children in the path of the storms and hail, and the careless words I spoke to someone I love so dearly I’d give anything to take back.  To make the pained look vanish from their eyes.  To love deeply and well is to risk pain and loss, so I suppose I’m very lucky since I feel the possibility of pain and loss  because of a careless word, yet in acknowledging that I know that our love is deep and strong and will carry on long after we’re gone, long after morning comes, and it will be “Better in the Morning” for unconditional love allows this. For this and so much more I am eternally grateful.

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Lao Tzu
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

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image from aha-now.com

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“Today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore to this day.”
― Francis Gray