Owls and Orchids

image from http://www.lisamccourthollar.com –

“Of all the things we can feel with our minds and bodies, severe pain is the purest, for it drives everything else from our awareness and focuses us as perfectly as we can ever be focused”.

There are few people who have been told about my battle with Lyme disease. Of those, even fewer understand what is actually happening during my treatment.  Most of those who know are part of my online community. Perhaps it is as simple as the feeling that I can ‘bare my soul’ here and remain, in part, anonymous.  This poem came out of a night’s anguish.

The Pain in my Brain.

This migraine is not in Spain,

No rain falls on this plain,

And in the main, this migraine,

Can be no comedy, no laughter

Only for the insane,

This Pain in my Brain,

Feels like barbed wire,

Wrapped tightly round a tall spire,

Almost like to die, it makes me feel,

Enough to make strong men cry,

It truly is a Wretched Curse,

And then becomes so much worse.

image from yasminfakih.com –

No mere simper will I make,

As I lay and softly whimper in its wake,

As it leeches like a strong torrent,

Throughout my whole body,

Like a door into a lobby suddenly opened,

Lets the throng flood inside,

Pain flows to every nerve and tendon,

Like a swiftly raging tide,

Ready to beg – “No More”‘

“Please – just a sweet release,

even a small respite.

image from leannebaldwin.blogspot.com

A little light at the end of this painful tunnel,

Only please make it dim for a while,

So this Pain in my Brain,

Will not return, not for some time,

Light, forgive me for giving in to this pain,

But this damned Lyme Migraine,

Feels like sharp daggers in my eyes, my brain,

As it travels unfettered throughout my body,

Like partisans fighting, a war without end.

But now an end is in sight,

Filled with hope in the darkest of nights,

I WILL ride the waves of the sharpest pain,

Now, the future is bright,

Like the sunshine which follows the rain,

I can say, “NO MORE”,

To this Pain in my Brain,

Wretched, damned Lyme Migraine!

Where are those blasted pills?

image from http://www.freediving.biz

“Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced. Denied or feared, it grows”. DEAN KOONTZ, Velocity

All things come to an end. At times it feels as though the end is nowhere in sight, but it is there, even as a dim spark. Hanging onto that dim spark may seem difficult, but in the end, winning is possible.

Blessings.  Susan xx