Owls and Orchids

image from msofisticada.blogspot.com

OK, I’ll state from the start this is not a fashion review blog!  I am going to talk about how people try to emulate others because they think, feel, believe it is the way to gain support, approbation of just merely acknowledgement of their existence.

This picture is just to illustrate how the world of fashion and the doings of ‘stars’ is constantly commented on and critiqued.

I don’t read the magazines which are piled high in doctors surgeries and hairdressers, where I am told there are comparisons in each edition of who wore what and who looked better in it.  I understand where they are going with it, but it’s all relative, isn’t it?

The actual saying is “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. That is the phrase I’ve been told repeatedly. It doesn’t matter if someone should choose to copy what you are doing. It doesn’t matter if they wear the same clothes you do, get the same hairstyle, wear the same make up…. you get the picture I’m sure.  You take it on the chin and rise above it and think to yourself, “What the hell, if they want to do that then let them, it’s really not causing me a problem anyway”.  Right! Or is it?

When I first started blogging I didn’t even know there was a term for it. Back in the annals of time I had a pseudonym and wrote to put my thoughts on ‘paper’, away from prying eyes. Wasn’t that a laugh. I was more than surprised when someone actually commented on it and offered a suggestion about what I should do. It was more a diarised  version of what was happening at that time and strangely enough I stopped writing shortly after. I realised I wanted the privacy I could only get by having a physical diary and, since my pesky brothers were no longer a problem, I could continue my collection of cute and colourful journals.

image from journalbuddies.com –

As a self-development tool they are extremely useful. There are so many programs around these days which encourage keeping a journal, that being the hip way of describing my old-fashioned diary!  They are used for anything your heart desires, improving your concentration, charting changes in mood, temperature if you are trying to fall pregnant, keeping track of expenses and goal setting and to remind yourself what you have to be grateful for when the world seems bleak and against you. In short anything which you feel you want to record about your day.

The strange thing about that is you can become confused about why you are doing something. For example: I know of one person who so admired another who they believed knew more than they did that, when they came across an opportunity to combine two things at once, continue their interrupted self-development, keep journalling and become part of a group activity involving this person, they approached it with gusto.  In one sense they were trying to emulate the person they admired. A  kind of camaraderie appeared to exist amongst this group and that was ever so attractive to this lonely soul.

Over time it became apparent that this camaraderie revolved around that one person. They were the sun and everyone else revolved around them. The majority of people seemed to hang on each utterance this person made, irrespective of how inane it might be.  Attempts at becoming part of this apparent inner sanctum fell flat. Our lonely soul felt ignored and excluded, as usually happens when an outsider tries to join an established group. You may wonder why they felt the need to be part of such a group, but loneliness has a way of driving people to do ‘odd’ things.

So they tried to emulate what our central figure was doing and it was not successful. Not only did their attempt at a blog not garner any interest, the person who inspired it failed to even notice beyond an initial ‘nod’. It must have been demoralising. Other people who began a blog were recommended to their group but not this person or their blog. There was now an urgent need for some kind of understanding and acknowledgment, from somewhere, that what they had to say was valid, important or interesting to some, after all it is a huge blogosphere. Despite wanting to follow the theme they had a sincere interest in, it was impossible to get into the groove and into this circle. No one in this somewhat sycophantic coterie would even acknowledge direct comments from our slowly shriveling soul. There was not only despair, but also condemnation of self, they were rejected so there must be something wrong with who and what they were doing….. right! NO!

image from tivijones.com

Imitating someone, trying to use the formula which worked for someone else was just not the way to go. Finding a formula for themselves – now that was a challenge. Who were they and how were they to get anyone to like what they were writing about? Was it important that someone else liked it? In a perverse way, it had become important, as a form of validation for what they had to say. Who likes talking to thin air all the time?

Yet, as anyone who writes a blog will know, there are hundreds if not thousands of bloggers and if your content is not reaching an audience then you can scream to the four corners and not get a result.  It can almost be hard work, a full-time job, to become recognised at all.

I’m happy to say that the lost soul I wrote about has begun to find their feet. They are no longer trying to emulate their former idol since they have become too disillusioned to want to be part of a sycophantic melange. Instead they have forged ahead with an eclectic mix which represents who they are. They don’t know where they are ultimately heading but they have learned that imitation is not the solution to their woes. Their words no longer fall on deaf ears and the longed for interaction with others is slowly occurring.

I have no doubt they will combine all the subject matter which interests them over time, but time is all that is needed if they wish to succeed to the extent they wish to. After all, I was successful when I was writing just for my own benefit since I wasn’t seeking an audience.  It’s a strange world we live in and a shame that those who have ‘made it’ don’t acknowledge the courage it may take for someone to try to participate in a group dynamic, especially if it is supposed to be for ‘all comers’.

For what it’s worth, my advice is, be yourself because you are the best at being you there is in this world and if people are going to like what you have to say or who you are it’s much better to do so on your own terms than those of someone else.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ciao, Susan x

image from http://www.facebook.com