image from tidetheland.blogspot.com
“There are essentially two questions in life – a spiritual question and a material question. The spiritual question is ‘Who am I?’ The material question is ‘What am I to do with my life?’ One leads to the other.”
― Rasheed Ogunlaru
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I found myself in a familiar place today. Not that it meant it was a good place, simply that I have been there before and recognised it. In truth, if I had a choice I probably would decide not to visit it, yet each time I do I learn something I didn’t know or had forgotten. So, in essence they are times to remember important things, and often things I haven’t wanted to learn.
The difficulty is that life is not one-dimensional. It has as many layers as an onion and people are exactly the same. I must be a tightly wound onion since I seem to be forever peeling away layers!
One doctor tells me I’m making progress, I feel like something a cat vomited under a bush and that is supposed to be good news. (Thank you Lyme disease). I can cut down on the “vomitous” drugs for a while and that’s good, yet it has also brought a gargantuan upsurge of inflammation and arthritic pain which is not so good. I know the mantra, two steps forward and one step back, and always a little more progress is made until you reach your end goal.
My end goal – wellness! Perfect health and well-being, positive physical energy, (and spiritual energy) and a return to normal activities. Simply being able to walk in the country or on the beach for more than five minutes before I have to stop will feel like I’m a captive bird which has been freed. I long to do ‘normal’ things like window shopping, going for a drive in the country without being ill for two days. Without needing a carer to watch over me. That sounds ungrateful, yet it isn’t, it is simply a desire to be free to do those things alone – if I wished to.
image from http://www.colourbox.com
Some of my most intense and beautiful memories are of lying amongst the bluebells in my favourite meadow, my border collie by my side, watching the fluffy clouds creating pictures for me to make stories around. The gentle breeze would stir the leaves casting a mosaic of shadows around us, the squirrels would be chattering away and the birds warbling overhead making a musical backdrop. Occasionally a pair of rabbits would pop out and, being quiet, would go about their business unaffected by our presence. It was a heavenly interlude and I could feel the beat of Mother earth, my Angels and Guides around me and I was part of our great Universe. It was, and still is peace on earth.
I have different memories now. The shared joy and love of watching the glorious moonrise. Seeing the orchids and hippeastrums beginning to bud in my garden. Watching the Rosellas mating and building their nest in our nesting box. The storm clouds boiling up only to drift away and the birds drinking nectar from the flowers. New flowers I’m learning about.
Storm clouds rolling in
Chasing the best nectar
Lady Slipper vine
Love is in the air
I mustn’t forget all the new friends I’ve found here, through my blog. Generous people who have accepted my first steps at writing and poetry, my amateur photography and the kindness and encouragement by their visits. Its makes the difficult days easier to bear because I have something to look forward to.
Not to forget the many things I learn…that spirituality is within and it is in evidence when I look out. When the words of someone far away can touch me deeply, can bring light to a dark place and give me answers to long-held puzzles. Then there are the special people who have brought something more, with their stories, sharing their experiences and those special friendships which are found in the most unexpected ways.
I have been blessed by friendship which I thought a figment of imagination, someone with whom I can discuss the many strange things which I have seen and experienced because we have a similar ‘history’. A dear and special friend who has become, in a short time, a cherished friend. Wonderfully for me, a friend my husband and I can share in different ways.
image from damonsmithnow.blogspot.com
I had a goal when I started writing today. I wanted to paint the picture of how, from a seemingly bleak start it was possible to find that calm centre and the clarity which can come from there. The connectedness with everything around us, which grounds us and allows us the strength to find the positive amongst the dross and succeed despite the struggle.
You see, I have difficulty finding my way at times so I’m sure I’m not alone. There are days I feel so isolated I want to curl up, pull the ground over my head and hide. People I looked to for support are so busy garnering their own they are unable to spare a small measure for anyone else, not even to share a morsel of friendship or support.
I fall down and eventually have to pick myself up. I have a heart overflowing with gratitude for the unconditional love and support my husband gives me every second of every day. I know how very fortunate I am and I thank Spirit for finally bringing us together. I pray, if that is what you pray for, that you find the same. I pray you find the support and friendship I have, and I wish you the strength to get back up and keep going when the days are miserable and hard because I know that there will be an end. I know my happy place, my dreams and plans will all come to be – soon.
I believe and it will be so, because what I think, what I believe, will be. That is how the Universe provides. It creates what we think and believe. So build your dreams and hold fast to them and surely as day follows night, they will be….. soon.
image from urbanspiritual.org
I’d like to share two of my favourite quotes which help me and perhaps may help you also.
“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did.” T E Lawrence
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“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” Helen Keller
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So dream on and believe because even one dreamer, one believer can make a difference. Join me!
Blessings and love. Susan x
Owls and Orchids 
This is truly brilliant, truly inspirational post -:)!
Thank you,
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Many thanks for visiting and your lovely comment. Nice to see The Lantern Post.
Susan x
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I’m glad I finally made it to your blog, again. You are a very inspirational writer and i look forward to following you on your journey. These are the kind of posts I need to be reading at this point. Beautifully written.
Peace 🙂
Tammy
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Thanks Tammy,
I’m pleased you have liked my posts… not all are bright and cheerful, but then that’s life! We have to ride the waves as best we can…. which is funny from someone who doesn’t swim well 🙂
Blessings Susan x
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Hi Susan,
As you can see, not all my posts are bright and cheerful, as you said, “that’s life.” I write it as it is, good ,bad, ugly…………………….. I get the most amazing support here from others who can truly understand and I like to give advice and be inspirational on good days. You just never know what you’re going to get from day to day when you live life the way we do.
Peace:)
Tammy
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WOW! Brilliant, inspirational, what other adjectives are there? Incredible, and I am fortunate to share intimately in this experience too. You’re amazing Sweetie! Love you always, this world and the next!
Ray XXX
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This world and the next 🙂
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Thanks for the inspiring and vulnerable sharing. It cannot help but touch those who read it, as it touched me. We’ve all been there- down on the mat, trying to find our way back to a simple knowing. Wishing you the best in your living process of healing. Michael
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Many thanks Michael,
If I can help by sharing my story then it’s worth the effort to bring it to life. I have been fortunate to find rare treasures at WP and people like yourself whose blogs are inspirational and comments I value.
May your days be full of sunshine 🙂
Susan x.
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For once I may be speechless, momentarily I might add but still speechless. I see the difference in your posts and can tell when the writing comes from deep within you. This is one such post. The struggle in our lives is a constant, it is there so we can grow and move on. I know it doesn’t help when you are in pain and are restricted in what you can do. It’s hard and unfair yet when the day comes to an end and you look back, you can say well I’m still here, I have mastered another day in my life. I like a saying, ‘When you’re up to your armpits in a pool full of crocodiles it’s hard to remember that you are only here to change the filter.’ I had a day yesterday that made me feel special. To Lorelle’s grandchildren I’m Laurie. There are plenty of Poppy’s and Granddad’s. They said something to Lorelle about grandma’s and I said I’m a grandpa. I bit my tongue. The eldest said we don’t mind, you’re OUR Laurie. That capped off a great day, irrespective of the fact I had a huge asthma attack earlier. I could have cried I felt that special. I feel for you and your life right now Susan and understand. Pain and suffering is a personal thing and nobody knows exactly how we feel. I must say that you have drawn me out of my ‘uncaring’ self. Thank you.
Cheers
Laurie.
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Ah Laurie, I never for a moment believed you had an “uncaring self” hiding inside you.
I’m so pleased your day was so special. Watch that asthma, it’s a nasty bugger of a thing. OUR Laurie – sounds perfect!
Ciao my friend
Susan x
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He lurks there some days Susan but does go back into hiding. Thanks it was great, except for the tiger, yes I must keep away from them. Yes Our Laurie floored me. 🙂
Cheers
Laurie.
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Laurie, she touches lives with her magic wand and they are forever changed. I know, I still have the bruise from the wand – OK, it was a 4X2 wand, but a wand all the same. Love your comment and I’m sure Susan will be touched by it too. I was blown away by this blog and I was here when it happened!
Cheers,
Ray
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