Owls and Orchids

image from http://www.redbubble.com                      Sunset over the Hay river, Simpson Desert

It’s beautiful isn’t it? Looking through the pictures I was immediately captured by the different hues of the sunset. It brought to mind the harshness of the country and its changeable nature.  There is so much of Australia I would love to see, but I have to acknowledge that I would have to choose which time of year to go to some of the places. I so admire the people who live out west, the farmers and primary producers without whom we could not survive. I know I could not do it. I’m realistic if nothing else.

“Summer Love” is a song made famous by Sherbert in 1975. It had catchy lyrics which revolved around how wonderful it was to be in love in the summer, the summer being one of the main ingredients. I often wonder if I felt that way when I was younger…. and oh, I feel so Old right now.

I tell my family and friends that between September and May they have to be aware of one very important fact – treat with caution because a “Homicidal Maniac” could be lurking in the wings if the mercury goes over 30 degrees. She is one of my sub personalities, and is a tormented soul. You see, she was meant for a cooler clime and the heat makes her feel simply awful.

Imagine, if you will, that there is a furnace in the region of your solar plexus. As the mercury rises this furnace is stoked by a demented harridan until it’s a white-hot roaring blaze. The heat rises up through the heart making the blood boil. It travels through the throat, making you feel as though you are trying to breathe super heated gas. It continues to rise up into the brow, beating like a bass drum and finally all the way to the crown, turning the brain to a molten jelly. Not a pretty picture.

image from smileys-4-eva.deviantart.com

It’s too easy to say I’m feeling a tad sorry for myself and perhaps I am. I don’t believe I’m going to suddenly spontaneously burst into flames, (Spontaneous Combustion) although there are times it feels that way. Perhaps I spent too much time watching the X Files.  This was before I had begun my treatment for Lyme disease and its friendly co infection of Bartonella. My body is reacting to these drugs like it would to foreign invaders. It is trying to burn the blighters to ash, only I’m caught in the middle. At the moment I think if I sat in a cold bath I could boil the water after a while. I kid you not!

Everywhere I go I see the summer clothes, which I can’t wear because I’m so super sensitive I burn like on overcooked lobster.   Then there are the over cheerful weather reporters, and their cohorts, who delight in saying “It’s going to be a beautiful sunny day tomorrow. We’re expecting the temperature to be in the mid thirties”.  Oh No, no, no, no. I feel a deep primal rage bubbling to the surface (along with my inner furnace) and a murderous rage simmers behind my eyes. If I had laser sight I might just incinerate the weather reporters who are sitting in their nice frigid air-conditioned news room.

Of course, I know that the majority of this is caused by being ill and the drugs I’m taking, but it really doesn’t help very much.  I’ve had a rough couple of days. There have been things I had to do because I’ve put them off in the hope I would feel better – soon! Work on the computer, accounting, columns of figures and searching for information. It doesn’t help that I know I should have been doing this in small increments to make it easier. I didn’t but now it’s finished yet I still have to pay the Piper.

I lost myself for a while yesterday with my whales. Nearly got caught again today. Gazing out the window, having a break, I saw a beautiful sight – a whale doing a full breach. Completely forgot the camera, but then I wouldn’t have been able to focus it in time. It was wonderful though. So easy to get lost watching them pass by.

Having fun in the sun

So, after messing up the publication of my poem yesterday, I apologise for being a tad miserable today. Too many figures, blurry eyes and headache, aching joints and my tummy doesn’t like me very much so I can’t sleep. I’ve borrowed my husbands magnifying glasses so I can see to type but it’s slow with all the mistakes. Time for dark shades again.

I’m heading back to my meditation to help me pull through. Morning always comes, doesn’t it, and this will not beat me. (I am woman hear me roar.) Later today I’m back on schedule for the next part of my search for answers – after my blood test that is! Pincushion time is still here. Ha!

Wishing everyone the days and nights you love, the love you want and the peace you deserve.  That’s what I’m focusing my meditation on for all of us.

Blessings. Susan x