image from bigjoyyoga.com
“Being truly happy in life involves you feeling more in control of the direction your life is going.”
― Deborah Day
~
I’ve been really chipper for a while now. I haven’t let the occasional bad day get me down. Who am I kidding – they’ve all been miserable to some degree or another, but I’m getting that attitude of gratitude and focusing in on the good things. I’m working the Law of Attraction every day to bring health, wealth and… oh the list is huge.
But it has been a struggle today. I woke up after a fabulous sleep, which is a huge blessing, in an absolute mess. I couldn’t move, get out of bed or get to the damned bathroom unaided. I know Ray is here to help me but that’s not the point. I am grateful for the help, always, but sometimes it would be really nice if I could get up without waking him because I’m in pain. If he hears me moan, even a little, he jumps out of bed and rushes round to help me, just ask the corner of the bed which he regularly bashes into.
image from euromednews.ru
What seems worse is that the pain didn’t go away, despite wheat packs, pills, potions and waving my magic wand! Each time I tried to stand the world turned. That’s quite neat, isn’t it? It’s a Blessing the ensuite is so close and I can bounce off the walls to get in there. Trust myself with the kettle – oh no. How about a sharp knife to cut my muffin? I don’t think so. Fry the bacon or an egg? Same thing applies. Thank heavens it’s an electric cook top even if it’s ready for the trash.
So, from early I’ve been cataloging my blogs. I mean, what would happen if WordPress had a glitch and all my blogs disappeared? So I’ve been copying them across to a word document and then saving them in my blog folder. Who said I couldn’t do tedious? I’ve already found some posts where the picture I used seems to have vanished like Aladdin when he said Abracadabra.
image from http://www.slideshare.net
Now I was irritated, as well as the annoyance with the mobility bug, as if I needed anything else. What was worse was I felt that old friend of mine “The Black Dog” sitting just behind me waiting to visit. The misery I felt just seemed to amplify everything else.
I needed to make some decisions about my super fund which made me irritated enough to want to strangle someone. But what’s the point? It’s not going to make the damned pain leave me alone. It won’t let me see clearly, and without a blazing headache to make the keyboard move all by itself – Yes, it’s true; I have a possessed keyboard which makes intergalactic messages at the drop of a hat – or in this case a finger.
image from positiveimperative.com
Okay, so what am I to do. What steps can I take to get rid of this feeling that I have “No Way Out? Right, out comes the self-healing and self-help basket!
- I acknowledge to my body that, yes, I am in pain and therefore I am going to have to stay in bed until it goes away.
- I accept that I sometimes need help getting around so that I don’t make things worse by bumping into everything, or falling over!
- I give myself permission to allow Ray to look after me and do the daily chores. He’s already said he’s happy to do this so why make a big deal out of it every time?
- If I need to I can and will have a nap during the day. It helps to ward off the intensity of the migraine.
Okay…. I have my diploma in Financial Planning and courses in share trading in my portfolio,(Yes I really do), so there is no drama with the super fund. I may not like it but damn it I CAN DO IT. My four step self-help and healing plan will work fine, if I stop doing blogs at midnight. I CAN DO IT.
Yes, the phrase is from Louise Hay, but there are so many self-help books with oodles of advice in my library that they’re almost interchangeable in parts. I can do it and as soon as I hit the publish key this is going to be shut down and the land of nod will come calling.
image from http://www.techforluddites.com
Are you listening, my voice of self-doubt? I can do it and I don’t need you to get me all frazzled over nothing. So off you go and let my nurse come out and help with the self-care program.
For anyone feeling as though there’s no way out, remember that there is always something you can do, even if it’s acknowledging that just for a while you may need to let someone help. It’s okay. In fact, it’s good for you, and me too.
image from http://www.filmaffinity.com
Now who wants to get away from Kevin Costner?
“She felt trapped, but she didn’t have to. The world is wide open and ready, waiting for us to escape this bubble and join it.”
― C.M. Stunich, Losing Me, Finding You
Blessings to all, Susan x
© Susan Jamieson 2013
Owls and Orchids 
Great job giving yourself a pep talk! I am sorry to hear you’re having a severe pain day though. I hope the pain responds to your now positive mind and goes away! Take care.
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I always lead with my chin, its why I have gravel rash 🙂 Seriously though, I do my best and try to let the rest flow. Doesn’t always work, but what does? All is well. Hope you are too.
Blessings, Susan x
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I needed to hear what you said today. I woke up at 2:00 am in horrid pain and laid, in pain until 5:00 am. When my husband finally got up, I was in tear. Not really tears, but hard crying. I feel that my life is being taken away again. I’m apologizing to my husband for disturbing him, he’s trying to help, but nothing does. I get it, today, I just rest and take it easy and hope the pain dissipates, which it has since early am. Thanks so much for posting.
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We can only do so much before we have to crumble and ask for help, or at least accept it when it is offered. I struggle as hard as you do, insist on doing it myself, at my own expense too, but I have to ask if its worth it – for a little pride and self esteem? Especially when paying for it lasts longer than giving in gracefully would have done in the beginning. No easy answer, but please write if you need to. My email is susan.j@executivemstermind.com.au
Hang in there. You’re part of a big bunch of people here all leaning on each other. 🙂
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Good energy coming at you! Hopefully a good nights sleep has given you a break. Have a lovely day! Namaste
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Many thanks, it’s always appreciated. I believe its a healing crisis more than anything else – well at present anyway. If so, that’s good, if not, I’m stumped as to how to go about helping it or myself. A few more days will tell.
Blessings,
Susan x
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Always here for you, Sweetie….
Ray XXX
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You cracked me up tonight, Susan. I hope Ray’s shin is alright. A bed post can be a very solid object. And I loved the way you remarked blithely about your challenges.
I have been thinking about that circle of positive thinking, and that it’s incomplete if we don’t have a “Grace” icon in there, some place for something outside of the closed circle to enter into it and lead us quietly to freedom.
Michael
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I agree Michael – I suppose sometimes, because it’s such an integral part of who I am, although I slip from time to time, that I forget to add it in. Point taken. I should make it more evident. For me, each time I can achieve that ‘attitude of gratitude’ it’s only because I’ve had the hep of Spirit – or Grace if you prefer.
Thanks for the comment. I hope I didn’t hurt you when I cracked you up 🙂 – Ray is fine and healing well!
Blessings, Susan x
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Susan, words can be so limiting sometimes. No should was intended. I was just struck by the realization that sometimes I need help from the outside (which I know is really an inside job…) to keep that spiral positive. Sometimes for me it can also be a self-fulfilling spiral into difficulty, and I need that little bit of a nudge, that ray of light through the crack in the wall, to open it all up again- a nudge I often find here…!
Michael
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Thanks Michael, you act as a ray of sunshine for many here too – including me. It is very much appreciated.
Susan x
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Thanks Michael, I have developed a tough callous on each shin, one for on the way round the bed, and the other for on the way back! LOL 😉
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