From the beginning and innocence and trust
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“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don’t know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.”
― C. JoyBell C.
“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.”
― Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday
I was asked a strange question over the weekend and to be honest, I found it difficult to put the answer into words at first. The question, put simply was, “What price would you put on trust?”
Think about it a little. TRUST, what does it mean to you? Is your answer the same as someone else would think, or say, or even believe? If there are different answers to the question, and they are all valid answers in themselves, does that mean that TRUST is something arbitrary? Or, is there only one answer to what TRUST is?
The Oxford Dictionary explains it thus:
Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something: relations have to be built on trust
Acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation:
And synonyms for TRUST: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance
Trust, the first step is the hardest
I find it difficult to accept that something as important in life as Trust, can be split so that it has different meanings in differing situations. Am I wrong? I don’t believe so. It is that which brings me to another question.
If trust can mean different things to different people, then how many other truths by which we live can mean different things to different people, depending on the situation?
For that conundrum to be even partially acceptable, it means that my world view has been knocked on its head. It also means that my old English teacher would be turning in her grave right now. Each word has a definition, a meaning which is written down for reference. TRUST would have been a big one. I wish I could ask her right now.
I know that the strict definitions and usage of words has become a thing of the past, especially for the younger generation. Yet some words, I believe have a meaning, and only one meaning and it cannot be twisted to gain an advantage.
Trust, once gained is irreplaceable
So, my answer was this:
TRUST is something which is earned, not expected. If you fail to live up to your word, you cannot expect someone to TRUST you, and it must be reflected in the way you live and speak. You must show, by your very actions that you are able to be believed so that another may have confidence, a certainty, that what you say is the absolute truth. They can TRUST what you say, irrespective of the circumstances. You can be TRUSTED.
Trust is something I don’t often think about, in and of itself. Trust is a part of my life. It is a part of the way I live my life, without which everything becomes unravelled. Without Trust, life becomes unmanageable.
Trust, that’s all you have sometimes.
As a child you trust your parents to do their best for you, and you act in accordance with what they say, because you trust they know what they are doing and therefore, ask you to do what is right. You can trust them.
As a parent, I earned the trust and respect of my children by how I acted and what I said. It is not unusual to find trust and respect go hand in hand. My children are now passing on those same values of Trust and Respect.
When two people marry TRUST is a vital in each other….. Any couple who decides to speak vows to live together, does so because they trust each other. Day by day Respect for each other has their Trustworthiness has grown.
A soldier TRUSTS his comrades or he cannot do his job.
The first time we learn real trust, we don’t know it.
Trust is invaluable to the world although it is often ignored or misused.
I was asked this question by a battered wife. She was hurting and afraid and more than a little ashamed of her situation. “What price would you put on TRUST?” she asked, as I sat beside her for many hours.
Is Trust a Must?
“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.”
― David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary
It is the coin by which we pay for our lives. It is as difficult and as simple as that, and once lost or broken can almost be unable to be recovered.
Blessings, Susan♥
© Susan Jamieson, 2014
That my friend is a big journey. As you said, it is defined by the individual and what they have learnt throughout their lives. Trust to one may have little significance to another, but in saying that, there are generalisations. Like, I trust you to not pull a gun and shoot me. (Mind you, there are many that had that tested).
But mostly it is a building of something, especially to those we love and have that connection to such a level that we think we know them truly.
But that is usually when something seriously goes out of whack and we are really hurt. It can be due to many things but normally a change takes place within that person, it may be a gradual process or being faced with something that had been bubbling under the surface, suddenly blowing up out of nowhere.
But under everything is usually the inability (and I don’t mean that as an error in someone, just an upbringing that has not shown a coping strategy for something), to face something, deal with something…or…know that what actions they are taking is actually being painful to someone else…or they do know it and are not able to face it.
What has meaning to one but not another. We have enough struggles between men and women in general because of that upbringing. Men tend to want to show their muscles when a lady would prefer the gentleness of a flower.
And the main point of that trust can nearly always come back to what we communicate to one another. Truthfully. Many the time I have said what I thought the other wanted to hear…thereby building something that in reality had no bearing in what I actually felt, creating a relationship built on nothing. Only to see it come tumbling down.
Truly trusting another can only be build on an ability to be trustworthy ourselves, and by living it.
An example of that is our politicians. Their actions on a day to day basis instils that untrustworthiness and we literally take anything they do with a grain of salt. Now that is an extreme but just look at our many friends and acquaintances. We do have expectations on them because of what they do and how they act. We find that we put them in different categories based on how we relate to them built by that trust, or not, that we have built with them.
It is a big journey, just like our love for another. They are all different for who those people (or animals), are. We love our parents, siblings, friends and animals…but all differently because of what we build with them in our lives. And that building is only as strong as we make them. Namaste
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