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If Not Now, when?

Posted in Challenges, Creativity, Identity, Life, Life lessons, Love, tagged #Ifnotnowwhen, #motivation, #Writersblock, Courage, Fear, Gratitude, Life, Love, Spirituality, Writing on March 1, 2015| 4 Comments »

If not me, who? And if not now, when? Mikhail Gorbachev

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

Image courtesy of swbusiness.com.au

I’ve sat and looked at this screen, day after day and hour by hour, so unsure of what to say. It’s a frightening thing, being so unsure of what to say. I know that in what seems a lifetime ago, the words tripped over themselves trying to get onto the page. Perhaps even more frightening is being afraid that what I say is just taking up someone’s time without purpose.

OMG I thought, what if, after all this dithering around, what I write is just a waste of time. Now I realise that it isn’t. I’m writing for myself at the moment. I have to, at least until my “mojo” decides to get itself together and understands that this is what writing is all about. The courage to keep talking about what I think about – whether it’s a story or a “simple blog” – is the key to the magic.

So, for today it’s a simple blurb to say “hello”, “I’m here, not quite sure if you will hear me or not, but that’s okay. I’ve made the first step, a giant leap for me today”

Image courtesy cover_not_living_in_fear..anon

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”
― Alysha Speer

I’ve read some amazing blogs during my “sabbatical” which have made me hope to visit strange and wonderful places, see the wide vistas, empty ranges and places filled with flora and fauna I have never seen before. There are too many writers out there to thank for this inspiration, yet to one and all I say a heartfelt “Thank You, I will visit these places, not just in my mind from your words and photos, but in person, to feel and experience these people and places”.

I’ve read about your battles with your demons, whatever they are. I’ve felt the strength you’ve shown in writing about it. I’ve felt my struggles are pitiful when aligned next to yours – and in the end I know that I have to put that aside too. We all have a right to our struggles, our physical demons. We can allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by them. We can use the pathos of our situation to keep calling people back, or we can simply say, “Hey, this happened and it can happen to you, so keep going and after you’ve told me about it, leave it and keep going.” Our stories are important – to us, and sometimes to others, so if we are unsure, write for yourselves. Write your hearts blood on the page, your fear, shout out and tell the world, because it’s the silence which is deadly. It’s that simple thing, the silence we strive for at other times which is often holding us back.

The silence of emptiness.

Image courtesy of maxresdefault

“All that is left to bring you pain, are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself; always afraid that your memories will incapacitate you, and they will if you continue to bury them.”
― J.D. Stroube, Caged in Darkness

∼

This caught my attention and I thought, Wow, that’s exactly what I was thinking. So I know that I’m not alone.

I’m simply human – I fell off the bandwagon in truth… not once but several times. I have the bruises and scars to show for it! Today was just one more day in the struggle to “be”. It’s boring in its simplicity, my damned back is being a pain in ways I never believed possible. Simplicity itself – I leaned on something which moved when I thought it would stay where it was. I fell… right on top of new bruises from the day before and pain flared majestically through the synapses of my brain once more. I should be used to it, but the odd thing is, you never become blasé about pain. Ask any of the people out there with Fibromyalgia…. I have it and it doesn’t take a holiday, it just decides to let you think it might be going away… til it returns once more.

I realised I said it “majestically flared through new synapses of the brain” and I realise it is that and so much more. Colours you never imagined fire through your vision and logical speech and thought are devoured in an instant.

Courtesy of wildlyfreewoman.net

“I have always been afraid… Always been pretending to follow you closely, always been pretending to sharpen my teeth, when the truth is, I am … scared to death just treading on your shadow.”
― Tite Kubo

Blessings, Susan ♥

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Thought, Word and Deed

Posted in Blessings, Challenges, Family, Life, Love, tagged #createmagic, #familylife, #lifelessons, #PrenticeMulford, #SusanJamieson, #thoughtsarethings, #ThoughtWordandDeed, #worklife, Love on February 1, 2015| Leave a Comment »

Image courtesy of http://www.josephinewallart.com

“When you say to yourself, ‘I am going to have a pleasant visit or a pleasant journey,’ you are literally sending elements and forces ahead of your body that will arrange things to make your visit or journey pleasant….Our thoughts, or in other words, our state of mind, is ever at work ‘fixing up’ things good or bad in advance.”
― Prentice Mulford, Thoughts Are Things & the Real and the Unreal: The Collected New Thought Wisdom of Prentice Mulford and Charles Fillmore

It is amazing that we can become so hung up on what has been said or done, without stopping for a moment to consider what thought has gone into that very same word or deed. We, in our constant state of rush and overwhelm, barely stop to consider that each thought we have can have many consequences.

Take, for example, the father, trying to get ready for a day at work, also trying to spend a few minutes with his family before they leave to start their day at kindy, school or day-care. The thought slips into his head that there is a big job to do today, and he will be more than lucky if he finishes before dark. He may not see his children before they have to go to bed. His toddler appears beside him, half crying to be picked up and cuddled. Before he has a chance to consider his actions, he snaps “I haven’t time to molly coddle spoiled little brats, go see your mother!” He gets up, stomps out of the house slamming the door behind him.

In one brief second, a thought about a possibly long job at work has spoilt a special moment with his little child and not only made her cry but also made him feel like a ‘bad Dad’ and set a train of events in motion which could very well ensure that the thought of the job which started all this, turning into a huge nightmare as everything seems to go wrong.

His one thought had disastrous consequences for his words to his child (and possibly her mother) and probably caused a string of events which make his day a veritable nightmare.

“In the spiritual life every person is his or her own discoverer, and you need not grieve if your discoveries are not believed in by others. It is your business to push on find more and increase individual happiness”

― Prentice Mulford, Thoughts Are Things

Now take a look at a harassed mother, trying to get her children ready for school, kindy, before she has to dash off to work. The little one is fractious and just wants to be held and she hasn’t the time if she is to reach work on schedule. She takes a deep breath and pacifies the toddler, distracting him with his teething rusk and she dashes off to get their lunches ready. Her phone beeps, and there is the reminder that she has a client arriving as soon as she reaches work. With the traffic as bad as it has been she is never going to make that appointment on time. She hates to be late for appointments. She feels annoyed that she always has to get the children ready. Her husband starts later than her, yet here she is every day, trying so hard to make such a tight schedule. It’s simply not fair!

There is a frustrated wail from the playpen and as she dashes in she sees the family dog slinking out of the room, rusk clamped firmly between his teeth, tail between his legs. Picking up the baby she is thinking that she will never get to work on time, only to see two rusk begrimed hands clamped onto her freshly ironed blouse. “Dammit” she cries, now I have to change, I’m going to run late all day!”

The blouse she chooses pops a button at work, the clients are feisty because she seems distracted, her boss is grumpy because the client are unhappy and she feels worse by the moment. She begins to wonder if the Australian dream is just a dream.

Her one thought at the beginning of the day, that it was unfair that she had the child rearing hassles followed by “I’m going to be running late all day” set her up for exactly that kind of day.

Stressed mother courtesy
http://www.sheknows.com

“But no one experience should be followed and dwelt in forever. Life in its more perfected state will be full of alterations–not a rut, into which if you are once set you must continually travel.”
― Prentice Mulford, Thoughts Are Things

What so many of us forget, or have not yet found out, is that “Thoughts are things” and everything we put our energy into, with our thoughts, we have the ability to make manifest in our daily lives. With a small amount of energy used on positive affirmations we can make the day great from start to finish. It has been shown to do just that. Those problems we have been inundated with in the past, simply slide on by and we have an amazingly peaceful day.

With the choice of the right affirmation, and there are hundreds to choose from, we can turn our days into blissful ones. We can manifest wonderful things for ourselves and our loved ones. We can send loving thoughts to ill relatives, our sick planet and see our loved ones well and the planet regain its vigour and blossom again.

“Thoughts are things” and we need to remember that with each thought, each word and every single action we take because everything we do creates a reverberation around the planet. We can create miracles. Prentice Mulford, whose quotes I’ve deliberately chosen knows this. Check out her book, it is truly incredible.

image from http://www.josephinewallart.co.uk

“to say a thing ‘must be’, is the very power that makes it”
― Prentice Mulford, Thoughts Are Things

Life can be a bed of roses – if you would like it that way.

Blessings, Susan ♥

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The Revenge

Posted in Challenges, Creativity, Death, Love, Poetry, Uncategorized, tagged #The Revenge, #vengeance, assault, death, Life, Love, Poetry on August 24, 2014| 8 Comments »

She found them lying broken

Beyond the smoking remains

Broken by deaths embrace

Father, brother, their killers to trace

Mother to save, offering solace

She buried them swiftly

A cairn a small solace.

≈

From the ashes dipped

Fingers to face

She painted dark lace

From when came the knowing

She knew not nor cared

Yet deep in her heart

Knowledge set

Her feet on the path

To follow.

≈

Through forest unknown

She followed their trail

Twig, leaf, hoof print

Never to fail

Finally a light

Shinning fitfully in the night.

≈

A veil came down

Clouding her mind

Narrowing her senses anew

Wood smoke and whiskey

Blood and…..more.

≈

Tied to a tree she found her

Broken and abused

Her knife severed her bonds

A cloak to cover her pain

Slipping away

Foes to be slain.

≈

The curtain fell once more

Blood haze before her eyes

Softly through the trees she melted

In silence Death moved unseen

No sound from her passing

Claiming due vengeance

One by one

Til there were none.

≈

Back to the only home they knew

To build a life anew

Time for wounds to heal

Memories to seal

Vengeance claimed, no appeal.

≈

In this time

We may never see it

Never have to believe it

Not for us to keep score

No evil goes unnoticed

No evil goes unpunished

Not for you, nor I to judge.

≈

Blessings, Susan ♥

Image courtesy of:driftingdruid.tumblr.com

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Communication – It’s Only Words

Posted in Challenges, Coping Skills, Creativity, Identity, Philosophy, Self Development, tagged #It's Only Words, Communication, interpretation, love and understanding, Misunderstanding, Understanding on August 11, 2014| 7 Comments »

Image courtesy of nashontechnology.blogspot.com

“From this point forth, we shall be leaving the firm foundation of fact and journeying together through the murky marshes of memory into thickets of wildest guesswork.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Have you ever stopped to wonder why words cause so many difficulties? After all they’re only words, the means by which we convey our thoughts and feelings. Yet so many times, what is a simple and forgettable word to one person, can be a veritable insult to another. Is it any wonder that there are so many hurt feelings and arguments over what we mean by the words we say to each other?

Many are the words uttered in anger, or whilst feeling under pressure or stress. Do these words mean the same thing if they were said whilst calm and unpressured? I rather doubt it. At least, that has been my observation.

Computers and computer programs, have the singular honour of creating the most intense feelings of frustration for many people, even over minor matters. They are such contrary machines, aren’t they? Some days, no matter how hard you try, or follow the same steps you followed the day before, the wretched program refuses to behave as it should. You’re blood pressure rises and you can feel the irritation begin to mount.

In retrospect, it is at this point that the rest of the household, or office, should embark for points north, south, east of west. Anywhere, in fact, to avoid the likely wrath to come. But no, everyone remains and the ensuing eruption of heightened emotion spills over and someone ends up feeling hurt or misunderstood.

Image courtesy of sherwoodfleming.com

“Using words to talk of words is like using a pencil to draw a picture of itself, on itself. Impossible. Confusing. Frustrating … but there are other ways to understanding.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

The irony is, the person struggling with the computer, or any appliance which is being contrary, should simple mutter under their breath, except….. Someone is sure to ‘demand’ that they repeat what they have just said. I can almost guarantee that the word “Stupid” will form part of the epithet. Guaranteed! What’s even more certain, is that the person listening is going to hear that they are being called stupid. It may even sound as though that was the intention. Yet I am positive that the intention is that the computer, program, appliance, even the operator of the machine is really saying they are stupid for not getting it to work correctly. Perhaps if the person offering assistance has already pushed their help on the struggling and irate digitally challenged person, then they may mean they feel, momentarily that they are stupid for not being able to offer the solution.

However, I’m sure if you were able to ask that person what they meant, they would not have been accusing or abusing the other person of being stupid. Now we have a recipe for an even more bitter and disastrous interchange to occur. The mountain of misunderstanding rises moment by moment.

: Image courtesy of twiki.org No wonder my head hurts at times.

Now we have a struggling computer person, who is definitely not nerdy, feeling even more stupid themselves, plus the person offering to help, when they should have left well enough alone, feeling hurt and offended, because they feel they’ve been abused and called stupid. What a disastrous state of affairs. Why? Because of words. Words should be used to enlighten, to assist, to love and cherish, foster loving feelings and calm hurt ones, not to abuse and enrage. A classic case of miscommunication.

So where now? Somehow, through this veritable minefield of the English language, two people have to tread warily, and hope they can untangle this knotted ball of wool. I had a ball of wool recently, so knotted up that it took two hours to untangle it… I wasn’t sure I had the patience but I did succeed in the end. I know for a fact that I cursed that wool roundly and often – without it taking offense. Luckily for me!

Image courtesy of webdesignledger.com

“I personally believe we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”
― Jane Wagner, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe

Human emotions are not as easy as a ball of wool. You can’t hurt the feelings of a ball of wool. You may chop it into pieces if it is really annoying and tangled, but it isn’t going to be hurt or upset. Yet here we have two people who have to walk a tightrope and hope they reach an understanding. Why is the English language so fraught with traps? What is meant by one is not meant by another and this misunderstanding of the use of the same word can cause irreparable damage. Someone, at some time, definitely did not like people conversing.

So, I’m about to try to walk the minefield of knotted logic and understanding and hope I can get my point of view across and understand theirs, so that harmony can flower in the home once more. What puzzles me the most, is that we are speaking the same language. It isn’t as though we are talking different languages and it is an interpretation problem. Or perhaps it is. Perhaps that is the missing key.

English has been added to over the centuries, as the various conquerors have added their offerings to the base language and idioms. In retrospect, it’s not surprising there are so many misunderstandings. Perhaps I should go back to school and study English again, although I fear everyone may need to so we can all be on the same wavelength.

: Image courtesy of http://www.iusb.edu Build the base for communication.

“Oh what a wicked web we weave”. My aching head is going to bed. Good intentions will succeed in the end – survival depends on it.

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”
― Nelson Mandela

Very wise words.

Blessings, Susan.♥

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Advance and Retreat

Posted in Challenges, Health, Life, Life lessons, Personality, tagged #advance and retreat, #WPlongform, BEing present, coping skills, frustration, Gratitude, harmony, health, Lyme disease, self acceptance on July 29, 2014| 8 Comments »

Image courtesy of flickr.com

“Not to give up under any circumstances should be the motto of our life: we shall try again and again, and we are bound to succeed. There will be obstacles, but we have to defy them. So do not give up, do not give up! Continue, continue! The goal is ahead of you. If you do not give up, you are bound to reach your destined goal.”
― Sri Chinmoy, The Jewels of Happiness: Inspiration and Wisdom to Guide Your Life-Journey

There are times when it feels almost impossible to find out why things happen the way they do. At other times the steps you’ve taken to reach a point can be all too apparent. It doesn’t always mean that either scenario is palatable.

Several months ago I determined that I was going to push myself to my limits – and beyond, in order to help with our move, relocation to Queensland. The aches, the pains, discomfort, at times the agony and tears were expected. Not always palatable but, “I’d signed up for this” so I was aware of the possible consequences. In fact, they weren’t possible but probable consequences of suddenly throwing a body, already reduced to what felt like a meagre existence limping through each day, into what was, beyond mere normalcy when contemplating the workload of packing and unpacking a household.

image courtesy of http://www.cartoonmotivators.com

Since then, and our move to Queensland, there has been more of the same. Yet along with that there was also a greater sense of achievement. Here I was after so many dreary pain filled months, achieving more than I had for such a long time. My decision to make my body work, like a normal body would, in ways it had been unable to without a great deal of pain meant I would have to accept the natural consequences. The achievement, the sense of purpose made the pain and tears and discomfort worthwhile.

As the old saying goes, “I paid in spades.” Yet, to me it was well worth it. I was doing something worthwhile. That sense of achievement long missed was a heady drug which helped me feel a little stronger, a little happier and much more contented as each day passed. Such are the things we measure our successes by.

image courtesy of howtoraiseyourvibration.blogspot.com

I have yet to find a straight road in life. In fact, I sincerely doubt there is such a thing as a straight road through life. Each road is meant to have its bends, uphill, downhill, roundabouts and the usual missed turns which send you back the way you’ve already been. I believe it’s the way we are meant to learn our lessons. Often not simply learn them but by revisiting them, ensure we really have learnt all there is from that learning experience. Cliché’s abound for this, “Two steps forward, one step back” and “Advance and Retreat” seem the most appropriate right now, and yet, that is what life is all about.

The occasional hiccough, the down day or days when things seemed to pile up and that wonderful forward momentum trickled so slowly by, came along with the rich positives. My ever patient husband was my strength and support to help me through and a very dear friend was always ready to offer sage advice and cheer me up. Just sweeping those dark clouds away helped enormously.

So What Happened? Well, Life Happened.

I needed one final visit to the “No longer Lyme doctor” to get my Genetic Genie result explained. I decided that after going to all the hassles of getting the wretched thing ordered, completed, sent away and the long wait for the results that I might as well find out what it had to say. Learning about my genetic structure seemed a fair recompense for all the pain and heartache over the past fourteen months. In reality, it seemed ludicrous not to get something valuable from this learning experience I had been given. It was also immensely intriguing. Mind boggling but intriguing.

image courtesy of http://www.crystalinks.com

Then he beat me to the gratifying punch line. Rather than being able to tell him I would not be returning to see him again he jumped in and said he didn’t want to see me again! Hmpf! It was, in retrospect, an odd way to put it, but the end result was the same. However, before I could say, So long, it’s been good, but”…..I was whisked into the Naturopaths office, deluged with a tonne of information and the adjuration that I needed “X,Y and Z” to correct the enzyme breaks shown in my genetic coding.

Now I’ve been through the hoops a time or two and I know how my body reacts to a great many things, especially dietary and medicinally based items. Several rather stressful episodes in the past few weeks had seen my friendly ulcer begin to act up and the attendant gastric reflux rear its burning head once more. It’s no fun at all feeling as though you have a vat of boiling acid churning inside your stomach and flowing upwards to burst out of your throat like an enraged Mount Etna! Upsetting but it was something I could get back under control with a little rest and meditation.

I did tell the Naturopath all this, explained in great detail since they seem to think you have no idea what you are talking about if you are not graphic. I explained – decisively, that anything not in capsule form would act like a gigantic irritant wreaking havoc on my stomach. I mustn’t have been clear enough. My powers of description must have deserted me since it was apparent she failed to believe me. Did I really care that these things were supposed to help my stomach and ulcer? Not if they were going to feel as if I were dying in the process.

image courtesy of http://www.principioattivo.it

The lowest ebb if my day is early morning at present and I was supposed to toss this vile concoction down my throat into an empty stomach to start the day. I love liquorice, but this vile stuff is not liquorice flavoured at all – it’s a pale imitation, a foil on the very word designed to befuddle and cloud the senses. Feral, foul and disgusting.

One week later and I feel too wretched to get out of bed. My throat is raw, my stomach in turmoil and the thought of a drink, not even food, is palatable. Add to that the almost indescribably migraine… what was I contemplating? This strange thought keeps circling my mind like a shark through bloody waters….”Why?” “Why did I do this to myself when I was beginning to feel so much better?” I have, yet again, paid an obscene price to once again poison myself in the name of getting well.

image courtesy of academyoffood.blogspot.com

Frustration, pain and anger, not a good mix for a stomach in turmoil. Nothing to show but a return to the nightmare and another email suggesting a garlic cleanse (eight whole cloves of garlic swallowed with water, no food for a day and febrile reaction, followed by a coffee enema). PLEASE.

NO! I’m sorry, but enough is enough. I’ve done everything I was asked to for fourteen months only to learn it was all for nothing – I don’t and never did have Lyme disease. I warned you I couldn’t tolerate this kind of natural “stuff” and what would happen and you didn’t listen, just pedaled your potions. A day in bed contemplating the next step has seen me decide that a polite but firm email is all I need to do. I am retiring from medical experimentation.

I’ve reached my place of clarity. I’ve had my hard-won taste of a return to normalcy. It was painful but it was an achievement of being able to act like everyone else. I’m not ready to take even a small step back to where I’ve been. There will be other ways to “fix” anything which may need fixing but not at the expense of my sanity and health. After all, what is health? It’s being able to live, laugh, move, do the normal things of life without pain and agony. It’s feeling loved and being loved and being able to love life again. Slowly but surely I am reaching that beautiful place and I will get there, without needing to pour copious amounts of money into someone’s pocket for pills and potions.

image courtesy of healthsaints.com

“A quitter never wins-and-a winner never quits.”
― Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Welcome back health and harmony.

I will Advance only and Retreat no more from this battle to be all I can be.

Blessings, Susan ♥

Postscript:

I admire and applaud all those who work in a health or alternate health capacity. What works for one may not for another and vice versa. I have recorded my feelings and responses to what I have been through and whilst they are true for me they may not be for another. I pray for good health for all people, including me. 🙂

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Inescapable Time

Posted in Blogging, Challenges, Identity, Life, tagged #Inescapable Time, Blogging, challenges, Change, happiness, Moving, New Beginnings, New home, time on July 22, 2014| 11 Comments »

Time’s miraculous passage through our lives. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

“The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not”…. ~Thomas Carlyle

It seems at one and the same time, absolutely incredible that not one month, nor two but almost three months have passed since I last wrote a post for Owls and Orchids. It has never been very far from my mind, yet there seems to have been a never-ending stream of events, of things, which needed to be done, or attended to and the days were gone before I knew it.

In some ways it was always going to happen, I simply didn’t think it would be such a long time. I made a promise to myself, that after the previous fourteen month of drug imposed restrictions that I was going to do as much as I could, to get the move from New South Wales to Queensland done – MY WAY!

Perhaps that was where things began to unravel. I was, at that time, still in a lot of pain and felt indescribably wretched from the copious amounts of antibiotics still in my system. My release from the Lyme induced prison had not yet relinquished its hold on me, even if I had been given the “all clear” that I did not, in fact, have, nor ever had Lyme disease. That alone sent my mind into dizzying circles, from which it was often hard to extricate myself. Yet, we had the move to our new home to arrange and I refused to sit, or lay, idly by whilst the hectic work revolved around me.

The new place in Redland Bay was a delightful enticement after the disappointments of Ocean Shores. I would miss the view of the ocean, but in reality, I had been ensconced in my four square prison and only intermittently was able to get outside to see and enjoy it. The irony is not lost on me that I have exchanged, what was supposed to be a location, filled with ocean views, fresh air, healthy and relaxing, for one which is, well, almost suburbia. I say almost, because we are a little off the beaten track, just in a small pocket of civilisation where I can access the dreaded pharmacy, much more easily visit my doctor and, a five-minute stroll arrive at a beautiful water enclosure, boardwalk, trees and filled with all manner of bird life and the occasional kangaroo and wallaby. We have yet to visit the spot where the wallabies come out in early morning and evening to get some photos – but, all in good time. The camera has yet to be downloaded of all its photos!

Falling in with the packing! Image courtesy of busybeingfabulous.com

But – THE MOVE! An interminable number of boxes seemed to parade in front of me daily, each filled and taped to be replaced by another. This, after having decided not to unpack the majority of our belongings, as we felt uncomfortable within moments of getting the keys at Ocean Shores.

I achieved more in that last month than I had for the previous fourteen. I found muscles which had been hammered in the forges of medical experimentation and proclaimed loudly their new abuse. Yet it was also a good feeling. I felt once more, that I was finally achieving something worthwhile. Time seemed, not an enemy, but a friend again.

The relocation was tiring and time-consuming as they usually are. The large spaces we had seen were rapidly engulfed by more and more boxes as the truck was unloaded. Daily more boxes were unpacked as homes for their contents were found – and yes, I was deciding where things were to be housed. It was a glorious feeling, knowing that I was arranging my kitchen, my clothes, my books, all the many things which make a house into a home. I was doing all those things once more. No longer would I wander around the house, wondering where something had been stored because I hadn’t unpacked it. Time had regained its orderly flow once more. In control and loving it – or so I like to believe. And no, I don’t believe control is the big baddy it has been made out to be.

I saw time slipping away as I rushed through each day. Image courtesy of mariana-a.deviantart.com

“Time is a very healing place, one in which you can grow.” ~Denise Tanner

Yet herein I also found my obsession again. That indefinable and inseparable part of myself which wanted everything to be placed “just so”. As things took shape around me I found a greater impetus each day to keep going, despite the increasing pain, to forge my new home into the vision I had for it. Boxes have an amazing array of hard edges and corners, a depth to them which defies normal reach and I found myself entrapped and attacked by the capriciousness of cardboard!

An unfortunate three weeks with a heavy cold cramped my style in ways I hadn’t foreseen. Frustration ran rampant, as I looked with growing dislike at the small number of boxes I had unpacked each day. This was in no way helped by an officious and supercilious doctor, who decided she knew me, my condition and what I needed more than I did after a mere five-minute consultation. So much for a simple script for antibiotics to cure the chest infection, and pain meds to help me “soldier on”. Meds I should add, which I showed her I had been prescribed by my doctor and had taken for some time. She promptly decided to re write my medication needs and refused to give me the pain meds at all. – If I’m suffering now it must be due to the uncomplimentary names I called her for several days after this visit. Needless to say, I won’t be visiting her again!
So, here we are finally. I still have my crystal display case to unpack and sort out, but that is the final item. I really prefer to leave all those fragile and sentimental items until everything else is in place. But, I’m here, and with the help of Spirit, life can begin in a new and more delightful way than ever.
Time passes and new things are found in unexpected places. Obstacles will be overcome and life can take its new path. The delights of the newly discovered will once more be mine.

Carried away on Unicorn dreams. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

“Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new… but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?” ~Paracelsus

Blessings, Susan

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Teamwork – An Essential Ingredient

Posted in Angels, Challenges, Gratitude, Life, Spirit, Uncategorized, tagged #Spirit, #Teamwork, Angels, Gratitude, list making, moving house, organising, Packing, working as a team on April 21, 2014| 10 Comments »

image from imgarcade.com

“The way I see it, our natural human instinct is to fight or flee that which we perceive to be dangerous. Although this mechanism evolved to protect us, it serves as the single greatest limiting process to our growth. To put this process in perspective and not let it rule my life, I
expect the unexpected;
make the unfamiliar familiar;
make the unknown known;
make the uncomfortable comfortable;
believe the unbelievable.”
― Charles F. Glassman, Brain Drain The Breakthrough That Will Change Your Life

There’s no doubt about it when there is a big job to be done, there is nothing which makes it easier to handle than teamwork. Of course it goes without saying that everyone needs to be on the same page and marching to the same beat. If they are not, then some quite cataclysmic explosions can occur.

Many years ago, when I was working for one of the big four banks, my branch was relocated to another suburb. It caused innumerable complaints from the local residents who would be forced to try to get to the new location. Many of the locals were elderly or on the basic wage and it literally meant they would have to catch a bus just to get to the bank.

We probably wouldn’t think too much about it today, but then it was a major inconvenience, but profits trumped service even then. As bad as that was for the customers, the hardest part was the physical work necessary to move the “bank” and all its records to the new location. From close of business Friday afternoon, all over the weekend, staff and security were involved in the packing and transfer of material.

That was over two days, yet moving home, packing all your memorabilia, takes far longer. So far we have been working for over a week. In fact, we began to organise the day we secured the property.

Like most efficient organisers, first came the long lists, covering everything in stages, as we felt they were required. Starting with the setting up, the transfer or establishment of essential services. Phone calls should be a simple enough task to complete and yet they can take an inordinate amount of time. However, working together we managed to get everything done fairly smoothly.

image from http://www.zazzle.com.au

It’s no secret that I am somewhat challenged in how much I can accomplish, physically, at present. Still, each evening we go over the days tasks, agreed on the night before and check off what we have done. The last thing we do, is agree on the “plan of attack” for the next day. The plan is working incredibly well and we have managed to make huge inroads into the mammoth task of moving.

I’m trying to keep the pain to a manageable level, despite the frustration of not being able to do as much as my mind tells me I can do. I’m not always successful, and my body quickly reminds me when my mind cashes checks my body simply cannot fulfil. In the interests of personal harmony I retreat to my room and meditate for a while. Spirit is helping in this act of keeping myself to a sensible pace.

Little by little the learning process continues and I realise how much Spirit plays an essential and wonderful part in our daily lives.

Yet, above all, the one thing which has been uppermost in my mind is the ease with which this move is so far being handled. Teamwork really can and does make things so much easier. With a partnership built on respect and trust for the other persons strengths, the division of tasks has seen a possible mammoth undertaking progress much more smoothly than I many I have seen before.

I am absolutely sure we have the Angels of translocation looking after us and aiding us in everything we do. As part of our team Spirit is aiding us with everything we need to think about and accomplish, even to helping me to step back, when necessary and relax for a time.

I regularly ask the Universe for help when I am stumped by a problem and they have never failed to provide an answer, even if it wasn’t the one I was expecting. Spirit works in mysterious ways.

I’m sure in the coming couple of weeks, Spirit, the Angels, whoever you choose to call our higher power of good, will continue to help us where they can and make the transition as easy as possible. Trust and great teamwork. Wonderful!

“When you trust your inner guidance and begin moving in the direction of your dreams (aligned with your individual gifts) you will be cloaked in an armor bestowed upon you by your guardian angel.”
― Charles F. Glassman

image from deepertruthblog.blogspot.com

Blessings, Susan♥

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A Successful Life

Posted in Challenges, Creativity, Gratitude, Health, Identity, Life, Motivation, Philosophy, Self Development, Uncategorized, tagged #A Successful Life, challenges, coping skills, life lessons, Starting Over, Successful Habits on February 27, 2014| 9 Comments »

12 Ways to Be Successful in Life

“Success is determined not by whether or not you face obstacles, but by your reaction to them. And if you look at these obstacles as a containing fence, they become your excuse for failure. If you look at them as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next.”
― Ben Carson, Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story

A while ago there was an article in Forbes magazine about the habits of successful people and it seemed that everyone thought they mustn’t be successful if they weren’t following those guidelines. I believe that’s all they were, guidelines. There was nothing anywhere on the article which showed any statistical data to prove successful people lived by these ‘rules’. It was one person’s observations.

It concerns me that we measure our own success, our own value as a human being, by what people who are incredibly successful are purported to be doing. I’m not saying their examples are wrong, far from it, but they are living in a world which supports such success. What about the rest of society? What about people whose very life is a challenge? I feel they have ways to measure their success by what they do, which is just as relevant. As Ben Carson said, “If you look at them (each obstacle) as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next.”

So here is my version of “12 Things All Successful People Do” (Forbes) which I have called “12 Ways to Be Successful in Life”. If we aren’t successful at living we cannot be successful anywhere else. I hope they may make you think a little and realise how successful you really are, as each obstacle we overcome helps us to become a more successful person, in our own right.

image from nedhardy.com

BE PREPARED FOR THINGS GOING BADLY. HAVE CONTINGENCY PLANS

It doesn’t matter how well we think we have planned our day, outing or event, there is always the possibility that something will occur which upends all that planning. Rather than allow this to overwhelm you, which can cause problems with your health, have contingency plans on hand for unexpected mishaps. It may mean a little more work in the planning phase but it removes any tension if things go awry. Eliminate the ‘falling apart’, unnecessary flare, or dash for home or the ER. It’s also a habit worth cultivating so that you always have a Plan B ready.

2. GOAL SETTING IS A MUST

Setting goals as a daily habit ensures we motivate ourselves to achieve things. It also is a wonderful way to stay on track. As a check list we can cross off throughout the day it can be very rewarding to see those things checked off. One thing to remember with all goal setting, follow the S.M.A.R.T. routine. Goals should be smart, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Choosing small achievable goals can help build confidence and give you a sense of achievement. Long term goals play a part but not on a daily schedule.

3. YOU CAN’T EXPECT LUCK TO GET YOU THROUGH!

It takes hard work to get to the finish line in most instances. Planning on getting lucky to achieve a goal, finish a project is a recipe for disaster – unless you have a magic genie in your pocket. Often there isn’t the perfect time or idea to get things rolling; it’s simply hard work and persistence. Making sure you have everything ready and you’re set to go can make all the difference to reaching that ‘finish line’, and having help handy is not giving in, it’s being realistic.

image from http://www.leadership-idn.com

4. Journal, Diarise, Plot Your Progress

When you have an additional challenge to make your day or work harder it’s often easy to lose sight of the goal. As with all health or fitness challenges it is necessary and sensible to keep checking your plans, your goal setting stages. If your entire schedule has been put into a journal / diary /electronic organiser then it’s much easier to monitor how you’re going with your plans. If you keep an eye on things you can fine tune as you go along so you avoid the ‘overwhelm’ and keep that end point in mind. Ask someone you trust how you’re going, feedback can be invaluable.

5. DON’T DELAY TAKING ACTION

Sometimes we let all the possible problems get stuck in our head and prevent ourselves from getting the ‘job’ started. The first step is often, if not always, the hardest one to take. Make a move and that issue which stalled you might simply vanish. You can do more than you thought possible.

6. CHECK TO SEE WHAT YOU DID WELL BEFORE

Sometimes it’s easy to just keep your head down to get to the next goal. It’s ‘safe’ and ‘easy’ and we can reach our target. Don’t forget to pop your head up and see what’s happening around you. Remembering what you did in the past may help you to reach your goals faster than expected. A great confidence boost!

image from funylool.com –

7. BE CONFIDENT

You know who you are and what you can do. You know there is a hidden tiger inside who will give you the strength to reach the finish line. Believe in yourself and others will too.

8. DECIDE ON A COURSE OF ACTION

The decision to do something is the beginning of the road ahead, a road leading to success, knowledge that you have achieved something truly worthwhile. You may have an additional challenge to overcome every day. You know how much effort goes into getting yourself ready and at work. Even volunteering takes an enormous amount of effort.

9. WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING

Often the effort to ‘do what everyone else is doing’ is so overwhelming we forget how incredible our own achievement is. Watch what is going on around you. You may find that what you think is ‘just getting there’ is much better than you thought and recognition may be closer than you imagined. At the very least everyone knows that you are aware of what is happening where you are and you know what you are doing!

image from http://www.wisdomquotesandstories.com

10. KEEP TRYING

That attitude of “If the going gets tough, the tough get going” can help you to win through to the final line. It’s hard to keep going at times, especially if you have a health challenge that makes even the simple things more difficult. As long as your desire to ‘win’ doesn’t compromise your health, keep going.

11. MAKE SURE YOU ARE UNDERSTOOD

When you need to explain to others what they need to do show them how confident you are. After all, you wouldn’t be telling them what to do if you weren’t ready for the job. Speak clearly and you can persuade everyone that you know exactly what would benefit everyone. Let them see the dream and vision you have.

12. SHOW GRATITUDE

When you reach your goals, succeed in your path to success, remember to be yourself. Everyone else is still on that path you’ve just climbed. Don’t let arrogance overwhelm your inner you. You have made plans and followed them, adapted where needed; you were accountable for all your actions. Don’t fall into the ego trap; remember to be grateful to those who may have helped you along the way. As we are thankful each day when we achieve a small goal, be thankful when a bigger one is reached.

People remember those who were thankful, showed appreciation and gratitude for help and consideration. These are the people who others want to emulate. Despite extra challenges everyone can be successful and be someone that another wished to be like. It’s all a case of attitude.

image from explore-essay-types.blogspot.com

Success doesn’t have to come with an ego. In fact, many successful people don’t have one. This is because they understand that while extraneous factors come into play, some failure can be chalked up to their own shortcomings. Never forget to hold yourself accountable for every aspect of your life. This is how you’ll remain focused and humble.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho

I hasten to add that the above are my opinions and ideas. If you agree that’s great, if you don’t then think about it. You never know; there will be a few pearls in there for everyone.

Blessings, Susan ♥

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#Last Minute

Posted in Challenges, Health, Life, Motivation, Self Development, tagged #Last Minute, #Lymie, 'to do list', Chronic Illness, coping skills, Life Change 90, organise, schedule on February 17, 2014| 10 Comments »

image from http://www.josephinewallart.co.uk

“…the best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.”
― Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

It’s almost as though I missed out on today. I have been ‘doing’ things all day, necessary things, but at the end of the day I have this nagging feeling that the day has floated by and I haven’t done what I ‘should’ have done. It’s a feeling many of us get and in many cases, or for a lot of the time it’s also an inaccurate mental picture.

I’ve always been one of those super organised people. Lists and reminders, plans, planners and schedules have been the way I’ve managed to get so much done each and every day. Since starting my Lyme treatment many of these things have been changed. Some have been totally upended and some have been kicked to the kerb. Why, because my time has not been ‘my time’ any longer. Lyme has been a life change program in every way.

image from http://www.dirttime.org – Kill those nasty bugs!

I’m sharing my time with a wretched and unlovable bug, many of them in fact, and they love time. They devour time in huge chunks until I’m not sure where the time has gone. I began to wonder what was happening to me. Was I going insane? Was I drifting off into the land of ‘the waking nod’ and not realising it? Was I simply being lazy and allowing time to drift lazily by? It began to get under my skin so I decided to use some tried and true practices to work again. Yes, I said again.

It is impossible to be ‘super’ organised without a photographic memory or an organised method to track the time during the day. The clock is simply not good enough because all it can do is let me know that time is passing. Of course that’s wonderful when the time rolled around to go home, but in between it doesn’t help. If you are at home then even that fails. You still need something to keep you on track and somewhat motivated. That’s where a complete life change program is needed and that’s what I have – Life Change 90.

image from nesbyte.blogspot.com Tick Tock time never stops

It is depressing to find your day is scheduled around when to take your medication, drink, eat, take medication, exercise, call the doctor, dentist, candlestick maker, take pills, eat and drink. It becomes a mind numbing exploration of ‘almost futility’. It is only “almost” because it is essential but it fails to give you much purpose, particularly something which will make you look forward to it.

In order to do this you have to schedule your day, as insane as it may sound. You bring organisation out of chaos.

The early morning ritual has to be followed because it sets up the day.

image from footage.shutterstock.com – I need a life change program!

Out of bed, somehow. I say that because with chronic pain, from whatever source, it can be a mighty effort simply getting out of that bed, even if you have been miserably uncomfortable all night.
Immediately after a visit to the bathroom and before any liquid enters the mouth a 20 minute oil pulling session. Oil Pulling – a delightful tedium of swishing oil around your mouth to ‘pull’ any bacteria or bugs out of your system. Followed by a relieved brushing of the teeth to remove said oil residue.
Tablets and a cup of tea. A welcome ten minute break.
Meditate for half an hour, longer if the day is fairly light. Very important.
Breakfast and more tablets.
Fill in the daily journal and check the “to do list”. (I approximate how long each item should take so that I can ‘budget’ my time.) Each item has a scheduled break between them if they involve any exertion so that I have time to recover and not over exert myself.
Start working through the list until it’s time for the next break. I have lots of breaks so that I make sure I can get enough fluids into me. It’s not all fun, there are days I feel like an over soaked sponge. Who said a Life Change was not without effort.
Repeat for the next item and arrange lunch, medication and drinks. Check up and see how I’m going with the schedule.
Phone calls are usually done after lunch and before the droop sets in.
Time for a nap to recharge the body and mind.
image from http://www.eatpress.com Snack time
Time for another drink and snack.
Time for some fresh air. Depending on how ‘tired’ I feel it’s around the garden with the camera or down to the beach with the camera. The beach is good because I can sit down and have a fifteen minute meditation, or longer if I have the time. Even though it doesn’t seem as though I’ve done very much it’s unpleasantly true that I am starting to fade now.
Back home I re check my schedule and see how I’ve gone. If I’ve finished everything then I get my crochet out or my book and have a ‘spell’. If there’s something I missed I’ll try to do that.
My last organised effort of the day is to make out a “to do list” for tomorrow.

My journal is fairly comprehensive. It has an affirmation, short and long term goals, a review of the day and anything I may have learned from the activities of the day. I need to record what my medication protocol is and any reactions to it. It is, if I say so myself, a work of art. It really reflects how my life change helps me in every way.

Life Change 90 Journal page extract
image from www.lifechange90.com

As time passes and I get fitter, beat this bug, and blow the brain fog, I’ll add more and more to the ‘to do list’. You’ll note that there are no household chores listed as a given for the day. When I can I do them. If I can’t they wait or Ray picks up the slack. We made more jam, new recipe and I have to get the blog done for that – it’s better than the first one. Tried and tested. Yum!

So, by now you are wondering why this is called “Last Minute”? Today we had a schedule blow out. At the beach we met up with an adorable Mini Foxie pup. She came running over to us and cuddled up, wet and sandy. She was eight weeks old and I melted. Until I had to, I found it almost impossible to put her down. Fortunately her owner was there and not worried. (I did think of running away with her but wouldn’t have made more than a few steps – sigh!)

As a result, I finished off all the somewhat mundane chores but my blog, which I like to do relaxed in the evening was pushed to the almost “tomorrow” list. So, this is “Last Minute”, a description of the average day of a #Lymie, trying to exert some order to her world. I still think I did a pretty darned good job, but this explains why some days are diamonds and some, just a lump of coal.