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Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

 

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.”
Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

It seems that irrespective of where I begin, at present, my mind returns to the topic of, Time. I decided to spend some time to see if or why there was something drawing me back to this topic time and again. It seems there is no way I can avoid it, and that is more truth than anything else. It seems that even in the things I wish to say, the message of “time” is put in front of me.

What is Time? According to Wikipedia it is described thus: –Time is the fourth dimension and a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.”

Of course there is a great deal more to the subject of time, enough to fill more than a single novel, but the general premise is there. Stories and films abound about time, whether it is being manipulated, people are travelling back or forward through it or simply translocation within it. For a great many it seems, time, is an engaging thought.

 

#changingtimes

Image courtesy of freyjasig.deviantart.com

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

So why have I been so preoccupied with time? We’ve recently experienced another “Super Moon” in August 2014; in itself a special occurrence, and we have another closing in on September 9th/10th. A full moon brings the potential for change, if you so desire, a Super Moon heralds the possibility of great changes, so having two, so close together, plus another closely following, can create a time of upheaval.

I have been preoccupied with intense introspection, at times, almost being lost to the world around me, as I ponder the changes I have been through, and those I feel offered to me.

 “The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.”

Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

It wasn’t long before the timing of our move from Byron Bay to Redland Bay, became apparent. By the time we had finished the transition and had ourselves settled into our new home, the July Super Moon was upon us. Coincidence? No, I don’t believe so. In the very act of packing we divested ourselves of much of the accumulated paraphernalia of the past. Even as we settled in we found still more things to recycle. (We rarely throw anything away as there are so many charities which can put those things we have not used, or need, to pass on to a good use.)

It was a time of clearing away the past, which was cluttering our way, making us ready for the new coming to us. It was a time of deep introspection as outmoded ideas and feelings were considered and discarded also. The way I perceive everything around me has felt altered, some things in a subtle fashion, and yet others in a more noticeable way.

At times I have felt a great unrest as my energy levels fluctuated. There would be days filled with energy and bubbling excitement followed by days where everything felt like a heavy weight and a struggle to simply move through the day. Then, of late, there has been more time spent in simple contemplation as the urgency of the past seemed to dissipate.

 

#changingtimes

Looking at the Super Moon through a crystal ball.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

I have finally found more time to visit the local “duck pond”, which it will be called until it is time for us to leave. I have yet to find another name located anywhere for it, and since there are plenty of ducks around, as well as other wildlife, the “duck pond” it will remain. It is peaceful and calm, and yesterday I saw my first wallaby here. (Yes Laurie, I finally saw one here!) It was a beautiful “Pretty Face” wallaby and as soon as I get through the one thousand photos I’ve just downloaded I will post some of the local wildlife.

It was a beautiful day. We had been deluged by just over ninety millimetres of rain the day before, great for the plants and garden and then, walking round the pond we decided to explore a little further. As the light was fading I grabbed a couple of photos of an old dead tree. Then I found it was far from dead… but more of that to come.

#changingtimes

The old dead tree against the sunset skyline.

“Fantasy, if it’s really convincing, can’t become dated, for the simple reason that it represents a flight into a dimension that lies beyond the reach of time.”
Walt Disney Company

So, Super Moons, full moons, moving, packing, clearing out and settling in, opening myself to the Universe and Spirit; it has been a time of many changes. The exploration of things and themes I hadn’t thought about in-depth for a long time, and the resolution of some old hurts. It has proven that time can have so many different aspects. Sometimes thought of as the “fourth dimension” it is not such a farfetched idea after all. I have finally found the time and desire to unpack my wonderful crystals. My home is filled with the bautiful crystal energy which makes me feel more serene. Who says a preoccupation with time is a bad thing – definitely not me, and a Super Moon, the Harvest Moon is soon to come.

#changingtimes

The beautiful August Super Moon cannot hide.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Blessings, Susan ♥

©Susan Jamieson, August 2014

 

 

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“Small steps may appear unimpressive, but don’t be deceived. They are the means by which perspectives are subtly altered, mountains are gradually scaled, and lives are drastically changed.”
Richelle E. Goodrich

Life is not static, it is constantly changing, constantly moving. To say anything different is to say that life is no more, life becomes death. This simple idea is identical whether it be applied to humans, animals, the environment or the inanimate parts of our world. Even the inanimate must change as time passes so who are we to say there is not ‘some kind of life there’? It even applies to the smallest of organisms making up our own bodies and the universe.

Over the period of our own history our world has changed dramatically and not all of it has been for the good. The same can be said for human beings. We have achieved an upright posture, our brains have grown and we utilise more of it than ever before. Yet, apart from the passing of time, the smallest cells of our body has remained the same as it once was.

Each cell must work in harmony with each other or the organism fails. If one cell becomes ‘diseased’, it fails, and in time the entire organism, the body could die. A single cell can start this process. One cell failing can bring down an entire universe of cells. One simple cell is so powerful. Where else can we see something so small with so much power, something which has not been made for mass destruction by human beings?

If one single cell is so important why has there not been more research into how to protect it or better still, how to allow it to progress into a greater state of being?

There has been much diverse discussion and debate over the latest and most controversial study of stem cell research. Controversial or not, it is the only research which is focused on the cells themselves, and not simply removing the diseased cells but assisting the ‘failing’ cells to regenerate. To fix themselves, To grow themselves. Controversial it may be yet it is one of the few attempts to use the single unit of the cell to help our cells to heal themselves.

From destruction to a new paradigm of healing. Could this be the next step in our evolutionary growth?

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Apple Inc.

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#A Succesful Life

12 Ways to Be Successful in Life

“Success is determined not by whether or not you face obstacles, but by your reaction to them. And if you look at these obstacles as a containing fence, they become your excuse for failure. If you look at them as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next.”
Ben Carson, Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story

A while ago there was an article in Forbes magazine about the habits of successful people and it seemed that everyone thought they mustn’t be successful if they weren’t following those guidelines. I believe that’s all they were, guidelines. There was nothing anywhere on the article which showed any statistical data to prove successful people lived by these ‘rules’. It was one person’s observations.

It concerns me that we measure our own success, our own value as a human being, by what people who are incredibly successful are purported to be doing.  I’m not saying their examples are wrong, far from it, but they are living in a world which supports such success.  What about the rest of society? What about people whose very life is a challenge? I feel they have ways to measure their success by what they do, which is just as relevant. As Ben Carson said, “If you look at them (each obstacle) as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next.”

So here is my version of “12 Things All Successful People Do” (Forbes) which I have called      “12 Ways to Be Successful in Life”.  If we aren’t successful at living we cannot be successful anywhere else.  I hope they may make you think a little and realise how successful you really are, as each obstacle we overcome helps us to become a more successful person, in our own right.

#A Successful Life

image from nedhardy.com

  1. BE PREPARED FOR THINGS GOING BADLY. HAVE CONTINGENCY PLANS

It doesn’t matter how well we think we have planned our day, outing or event, there is always the possibility that something will occur which upends all that planning. Rather than allow this to overwhelm you, which can cause problems with your health, have contingency plans on hand for unexpected mishaps. It may mean a little more work in the planning phase but it removes any tension if things go awry. Eliminate the ‘falling apart’, unnecessary flare, or dash for home or the ER. It’s also a habit worth cultivating so that you always have a Plan B ready.

2.      GOAL SETTING IS A MUST

Setting goals as a daily habit ensures we motivate ourselves to achieve things. It also is a wonderful way to stay on track. As a check list we can cross off throughout the day it can be very rewarding to see those things checked off. One thing to remember with all goal setting, follow the S.M.A.R.T. routine. Goals should be smart, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Choosing small achievable goals can help build confidence and give you a sense of achievement. Long term goals play a part but not on a daily schedule.

 3.      YOU CAN’T EXPECT LUCK TO GET YOU THROUGH!

It takes hard work to get to the finish line in most instances. Planning on getting lucky to achieve a goal, finish a project is a recipe for disaster – unless you have a magic genie in your pocket.  Often there isn’t the perfect time or idea to get things rolling; it’s simply hard work and persistence.  Making sure you have everything ready and you’re set to go can make all the difference to reaching that ‘finish line’, and having help handy is not giving in, it’s being realistic.

 4.  Journal, Diarise, Plot Your Progress

When you have an additional challenge to make your day or work harder it’s often easy to lose sight of the goal. As with all health or fitness challenges it is necessary and sensible to keep checking your plans, your goal setting stages.  If your entire schedule has been put into a journal / diary /electronic organiser then it’s much easier to monitor how you’re going with your plans. If you keep an eye on things you can fine tune as you go along so you avoid the ‘overwhelm’ and keep that end point in mind. Ask someone you trust how you’re going, feedback can be invaluable.

 5.      DON’T DELAY TAKING ACTION

Sometimes we let all the possible problems get stuck in our head and prevent ourselves from getting the ‘job’ started.  The first step is often, if not always, the hardest one to take. Make a move and that issue which stalled you might simply vanish. You can do more than you thought possible.

 6.      CHECK TO SEE WHAT YOU DID WELL BEFORE

Sometimes it’s easy to just keep your head down to get to the next goal. It’s ‘safe’ and ‘easy’ and we can reach our target.  Don’t forget to pop your head up and see what’s happening around you. Remembering what you did in the past may help you to reach your goals faster than expected. A great confidence boost!

#A Successful Life

image from funylool.com –

 7.      BE CONFIDENT

You know who you are and what you can do. You know there is a hidden tiger inside who will give you the strength to reach the finish line. Believe in yourself and others will too.

 8.      DECIDE ON A COURSE OF ACTION

The decision to do something is the beginning of the road ahead, a road leading to success, knowledge that you have achieved something truly worthwhile. You may have an additional challenge to overcome every day. You know how much effort goes into getting yourself ready and at work. Even volunteering takes an enormous amount of effort.

 9.      WATCH WHAT YOU ARE DOING

Often the effort to ‘do what everyone else is doing’ is so overwhelming we forget how incredible our own achievement is. Watch what is going on around you. You may find that what you think is ‘just getting there’ is much better than you thought and recognition may be closer than you imagined. At the very least everyone knows that you are aware of what is happening where you are and you know what you are doing!

 10.  KEEP TRYING

That attitude of “If the going gets tough, the tough get going” can help you to win through to the final line. It’s hard to keep going at times, especially if you have a health challenge that makes even the simple things more difficult. As long as your desire to ‘win’ doesn’t compromise your health, keep going.

 11.  MAKE SURE YOU ARE UNDERSTOOD

When you need to explain to others what they need to do show them how confident you are. After all, you wouldn’t be telling them what to do if you weren’t ready for the job. Speak clearly and you can persuade everyone that you know exactly what would benefit everyone. Let them see the dream and vision you have.

 12.  SHOW GRATITUDE

When you reach your goals, succeed in your path to success, remember to be yourself. Everyone else is still on that path you’ve just climbed. Don’t let arrogance overwhelm your inner you. You have made plans and followed them, adapted where needed; you were accountable for all your actions. Don’t fall into the ego trap; remember to be grateful to those who may have helped you along the way. As we are thankful each day when we achieve a small goal, be thankful when a bigger one is reached.

People remember those who were thankful, showed appreciation and gratitude for help and consideration. These are the people who others want to emulate. Despite extra challenges everyone can be successful and be someone that another wished to be like. It’s all a case of attitude.

#A Successful Life

image from explore-essay-types.blogspot.com

Success doesn’t have to come with an ego. In fact, many successful people don’t have one. This is because they understand that while extraneous factors come into play, some failure can be chalked up to their own shortcomings. Never forget to hold yourself accountable for every aspect of your life. This is how you’ll remain focused and humble.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho

I hasten to add that the above are my opinions and ideas. If you agree that’s great, if you don’t then think about it. You never know; there will be a few pearls in there for everyone.

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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~

“…the best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.”
Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

~

It’s almost as though I missed out on today. I have been ‘doing’ things all day, necessary things, but at the end of the day I have this nagging feeling that the day has floated by and I haven’t done what I ‘should’ have done. It’s a feeling many of us get and in many cases, or for a lot of the time it’s also an inaccurate mental picture.

I’ve always been one of those super organised people. Lists and reminders, plans, planners and schedules have been the way I’ve managed to get so much done each and every day. Since starting my Lyme treatment many of these things have been changed. Some have been totally upended and some have been kicked to the kerb.  Why, because my time has not been ‘my time’ any longer. Lyme has been a life change program in every way.

#Last Minute

image from http://www.dirttime.org –      Kill those nasty bugs!

I’m sharing my time with a wretched and unlovable bug, many of them in fact, and they love time. They devour time in huge chunks until I’m not sure where the time has gone. I began to wonder what was happening to me. Was I going insane? Was I drifting off into the land of ‘the waking nod’ and not realising it? Was I simply being lazy and allowing time to drift lazily by? It began to get under my skin so I decided to use some tried and true practices to work again. Yes, I said again.

It is impossible to be ‘super’ organised without a photographic memory or an organised method to track the time during the day. The clock is simply not good enough because all it can do is let me know that time is passing. Of course that’s wonderful when the time rolled around to go home, but in between it doesn’t help. If you are at home then even that fails. You still need something to keep you on track and somewhat motivated. That’s where a complete life change program is needed and that’s what I have – Life Change 90.

#Last Minute

image from nesbyte.blogspot.com    Tick Tock time never stops

It is depressing to find your day is scheduled around when to take your medication, drink, eat, take medication, exercise, call the doctor, dentist, candlestick maker, take pills, eat and drink. It becomes a mind numbing exploration of ‘almost futility’. It is only “almost” because it is essential but it fails to give you much purpose, particularly something which will make you look forward to it.

In order to do this you have to schedule your day, as insane as it may sound. You bring organisation out of chaos.

The early morning ritual has to be followed because it sets up the day.

#Last Minute

image from footage.shutterstock.com –   I need a life change program!

  • Out of bed, somehow. I say that because with chronic pain, from whatever source, it can be a mighty effort simply getting out of that bed, even if you have been miserably uncomfortable all night.
  • Immediately after a visit to the bathroom and before any liquid enters the mouth a 20 minute oil pulling session. Oil Pulling – a delightful tedium of swishing oil around your mouth to ‘pull’ any bacteria or bugs out of your system. Followed by a relieved brushing of the teeth to remove said oil residue.
  • Tablets and a cup of tea. A welcome ten minute break.
  • Meditate for half an hour, longer if the day is fairly light. Very important.
  • Breakfast and more tablets.
  • Fill in the daily journal and check the “to do list”.  (I approximate how long each item should take so that I can ‘budget’ my time.) Each item has a scheduled break between them if they involve any exertion so that I have time to recover and not over exert myself.
  • Start working through the list until it’s time for the next break. I have lots of breaks so that I make sure I can get enough fluids into me. It’s not all fun, there are days I feel like an over soaked sponge. Who said a Life Change was not without effort.
  • Repeat for the next item and arrange lunch, medication and drinks.  Check up and see how I’m going with the schedule.
  • Phone calls are usually done after lunch and before the droop sets in.
  • Time for a nap to recharge the body and mind.
  • #Last Minute

    image from http://www.eatpress.com  Snack time 

  • Time for another drink and snack.
  • Time for some fresh air. Depending on how ‘tired’ I feel it’s around the garden with the camera or down to the beach with the camera. The beach is good because I can sit down and have a fifteen minute meditation, or longer if I have the time. Even though it doesn’t seem as though I’ve done very much it’s unpleasantly true that I am starting to fade now.
  • Back home I re check my schedule and see how I’ve gone. If I’ve finished everything then I get my crochet out or my book and have a ‘spell’. If there’s something I missed I’ll try to do that.
  • My last organised effort of the day is to make out a “to do list” for tomorrow.

My journal is fairly comprehensive. It has an affirmation, short and long term goals, a review of the day and anything I may have learned from the activities of the day. I need to record what my medication protocol is and any reactions to it. It is, if I say so myself, a work of art. It really reflects how my life change helps me in every way.

#Last Minute

Life Change 90 Journal page extract
image from  www.lifechange90.com

As time passes and I get fitter, beat this bug, and blow the brain fog, I’ll add more and more to the ‘to do list’. You’ll note that there are no household chores listed as a given for the day. When I can I do them.  If I can’t they wait or Ray picks up the slack. We made more jam, new recipe and I have to get the blog done for that – it’s better than the first one. Tried and tested. Yum!

So, by now you are wondering why this is called “Last Minute”? Today we had a schedule blow out. At the beach we met up with an adorable Mini Foxie pup. She came running over to us and cuddled up, wet and sandy. She was eight weeks old and I melted. Until I had to, I found it almost impossible to put her down. Fortunately her owner was there and not worried. (I did think of running away with her but wouldn’t have made more than a few steps – sigh!)

As a result, I finished off all the somewhat mundane chores but my blog, which I like to do relaxed in the evening was pushed to the almost “tomorrow” list. So, this is “Last Minute”, a description of the average day of a #Lymie, trying to exert some order to her world. I still think I did a pretty darned good job, but this explains why some days are diamonds and some, just a lump of coal.

#Last Minute

image from lettingthewordsescape.blogspot.com      Diamond or…coal?

I just know you get my drift.

#Last Minute

image from mommyadventures.net     Nap time – yawn!

Blessings,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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“I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.”
Albert Einstein, On Cosmic Religion and Other Opinions and Aphorisms

~

Something went slightly awry today and my routine changed. As a result of that I went into my reader before I did my post. It spawned a changed of topic.

There has been much debate about the proliferation of self-development courses, which I am differentiating from professional development and Spiritual development. All have elements in common but I don’t wish to get embroiled in the necessity for or against professional or spiritual development. Suffice it to say that there seems to be a consensus that there is no need for self-development courses other than those which are followed ad hoc via free online tutorials. They have their place, but are they fulfilling the needs of society?

When I read through the posts in my reader I found some of the posts I expected, the poetry which I enjoy, including the various themes from spiritual to mythical and love. There were the inspirational image quotes and just straight forward quotes, always something a little different.

There were my usual posters who talk about various struggles with illness and how to cope with different aspects of them. Obviously I’m following these people because they know their subject, are very helpful and supportive and have become good friends. In a mutual supportive environment it is gratifying to find people who are altruistic enough to share their triumphs and failures and help each other out.

In other topical pieces I found references to posts which were basically a running commentary on the applause for self-gratification in one’s own sexploits.  Again, I have no problem with this as I can read it or not since it is reader beware.

Then there were a number of reblogged articles. Reblogs are helpful because you learn about a far wider audience than you might hope to cover alone.

There was:

  • an article about a young African American still in prison after 3 years because she defended herself from domestic violence;
  • the harrowing open letter by Dylan Farrow about her sexual abuse by Woody Allen
  • the pollution of the Dan River in Eden, N.C after an aged pipeline burst, sending poisonous grey ash into the river
  • the FBI sting which rescued 16 child sex slaves and 45 “pimps” at the time of the Superbowl, which the FBI have asserted is common practice for these groups when any major event is on
  • Suicide Prevention week in Canada coincides with Love Yourself month, an indictment on some of the most famous originators of self-development such as Nathaniel Brandon, Virginia Satir and Wayne Dyer, who made improving oneself big business and forgot about really helping people to improve their self-esteem
  • The US allegedly using Weather Warfare against the Philippines
  • Top Black History Month Scholarships – a great idea unless it is balanced against the abysmal treatment of African American students elsewhere in the school system
  • The ABC reveals the scam claims by Big Pharma that the anti-Cholesterol lowering drug Statin reduces cholesterol. Big Pharma pushing medicine which does not work, again
  • Judging Philip Seymour Hoffman, a lovely article which does not seek to criticise or condemn but simply regrets the passing, too soon, of a good man with a problem
  • Black History Month in Canada where artists were acknowledged
  • Facebook celebrates its 10th birthday with a ‘movie of your life’ day. I didn’t know it was 10 years old which speaks volumes
  • A young woman in Scotland who cannot get decent treatment for Fibro or other ailments after leaving the UK
  • More from Sochi, first they are killing all the dogs near the stadium, now the facilities are falling apart and repairs are impossible, and finally
  • How there are 7 things from High School repeated later in life

From the posts I have briefly mentioned, and I hasten to add I am in no way passing any criticism on these blogs, they are all excellent posts and have valid stories, but this is my point. Of those listed above, of the fourteen stories (14) there are ten (10) which are bad/depressing/just plain wrong news plus one which rates 50:50.  They are wrong in the sense that they are a poor indictment on society.

#Enough or Nor Enough

image from ceslava.com

What are we doing accepting wrongful imprisonment of a woman defending herself from domestic violence? When did it become alright to arrange child sex slaves for big events? How did we let Big Pharma con us with all their nasty pills and potions which are making us more ill and not less? Why did we applaud a paedophile for making big money making films and ignoring his deplorable behaviour? Child sex abuse is an offence and it doesn’t matter who the hell you are, you do the crime, you do the time. What you don’t do is haul the child, now grown, over the coals for being unable to see the case through to the court stage where she would have been blamed for the events anyway.

This brings me back to my first point. We may have lost faith in the big names of the personal development arena that have become rich telling us how to act, but if the above is a representation of the norm for behaviour then self-improvement is still needed, and it doesn’t matter what you call it.   We are supposed to evolve to become better people as time goes by, not revert to base animal behaviour and not against children and the ill.

Society, in general needs to take a hard look at itself and take the steps to improve. Unless, of course, they are trying to tell us that the behaviour of the day is stupendously wonderful. I pray not.

“Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?”
Bill Hicks

Blessings and prayers, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#Pushed to the Limit

image from ogdenutahcriminaldefense.com

“Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

There are times when, irrespective of how much you try to do otherwise, you fly off the handle. These episodes are usually preceded by periods of intense pressure, things not going according to plan or life generally not playing out the way you hoped. Colloquially they are called “knee jerk’ reactions. They are usually regretted almost immediately as soon as the blood cools down sufficiently for coherent thought to return.

If, like me, that cooling off can be fairly quick, most of the time, it leads to a great deal of soul searching and castigation for behaving in a manner which isn’t liked. However, many times the damage has already been done. Trying to set things right is quite often impossible.

All my life I’ve been told I should behave in certain ways. I was “better than my protagonist” and so held to a higher standard.  “I knew better than that” and so should have controlled that impulse to retaliate.  When you are placed on a pedestal and expected to live up to everyone’s perception of who you are, it can be extremely difficult to find the real you.  You may not even recognise the‘real you’.

#Pushed to the Limit

image from cstl.semo.edu

There have been times, over the years, when that pedestal has rocked alarmingly as I tried to keep my footing living up to so many other people’s ideas of who and what I was. Can you imagine how difficult it might be to understand what you want in life when you are so busy living up to someone else’s ideal? The saddest part of the situation is that it all begins with the best of intentions.

Hard as it may be to understand I was a very shy and quiet child. Head down and mouth closed so I drew as little attention to myself as possible. Yet all the time I was trying to live up to firstly my parent’s expectations of me and later my first husband, my work colleagues, my brothers, and then it seemed everyone else. Everyone had this idea of who I was and how I would respond in certain circumstances.  My first husband had a whole list of ways in which I was allowed to behave and respond that I hardly knew who I was. Sad, pathetic but true. The fact that I did respond as they expected, because it was expected, simply cemented these thoughts in their mind. Sadly, very few of these personas held more than a grain of the real me.

Not wanting to disappoint anyone it was easier to continue to play the roles I was ‘given’. It was safer in one particular area to follow the ‘rules’ than to face the consequences. At the same time I was able to hold down responsible positions, firstly as a police officer, later as a bank official and mother, school chairpersons and so on. I wasn’t actually hidden away where it may have been easier.

Realisation, when it seeped in was the beginning of the real humiliation. Knowing I had been this milksop of a person when I could think, had opinions and could do so many things was quite devastating. The fact that my husband was a police officer meant that I had nowhere to go and no-one to go to. Who would believe me over a serving police officer? It simply didn’t happen, not when the domination is psychological and emotional.

It is still hard for me to write these words, to accept them as reality and realise what I allowed myself to become – a doormat. I was a slave programmed to perform to command. I can never look at a woman in a domestic violence situation and condemn her, man, woman or child in that situation because it can be started so insidiously that it is too late by the time you realise. I was a slave to my ex-husband’s drive to achieve financial stability. The fact that he failed to support his children after I left, usurped part of my settlement and told the children it was theirs, all added to the ongoing manipulation. He is still doing this to my children, though they are grown and through them he is doing it to me because he knows they are the only way he can reach me.

#Pushed to the Limit

image from paulissakippisms.com –

Why have I told you all this. Because if it happened to me it can happen to anyone and if someone reads this and recognises where they are in this cycle and can get out, it is worth my embarrassment. If it helps someone reach out, to me or to someone else it is worth the embarrassment. I am tired of allowing him this hold over me. I am taking my life back, all of it and I refuse to allow him the space in my mind, in my life ever again.

This is real. It can happen to anyone, at any time. Please, if you recognise someone who is drowning under this type of treatment, offer a helping hand. Tell someone in authority and help them before it’s too late.  Life is a precious gift and shouldn’t be destroyed by insecure bullies.

#Pushed to the Limit

I am a woman, flesh and bone, heart and soul.

“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
Shannon L. Alder
Everyone has the right to respect, like breathing, take it away and the soul dies. – Susan Jamieson

Blessings, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe simply because it has been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is written in Holy Scriptures. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of teachers, elders, or wise men. Believe only after careful observation and analysis, when you find that it agrees with reason, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all. Then accept it and live up to it.”      Buddha

Creative Direction: It’s a valuable insight at this time of year, it empowers people. We have just taken our first really deep breath after the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving (for those in the US), and Christmas for everyone else. Many of us managed a gulp or two as we were swept between Christmas and New Year before the celebratory madness had its final fling with us.

Now we are into our first week of January and still taking stock, looking for that Creative Direction. Many of us have returned to work or are juggling work and children. Some are fortunate to be on vacation, a wonderful chance to take stock if you are single, but those shops, bistros, clubs, all calling to have more fun whilst we can. Well, thoughts of the year ahead will fall into line when we become more organised; when that Creative Direction is called for to empower us.

Creative Direction

image from siobhanb.blogspot.com

For some this can be barely a second thought, and if you can wing it in this way and have a successful year, then all power to you! There are others who have different methods of preparing themselves for the year ahead, meditation, asking or seeking direction from a Higher Power, or another way they have found after years of trial and error which works for them. Empowerment comes from many sources.

As with any varied group of people, you find as many opinions and ways to do things as there are differences between the people in the group. With the best will in the world many people acknowledge that without a ‘plan’ they find themselves drifting along and at the end of the year they haven’t really achieved any of their goals, hopes or dreams. They need to be empowered in order to succeed. It’s one of the reasons journals have become popular again. People realise that keeping a journal imparts a degree of accountability.  It is the same encouragement which holds people to keeping to a limited period challenge, such as a Gratitude challenge, a fitness challenge, weight loss challenge and a self-development challenge or a Creative Direction.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 
Harold Thurman Whitman : Philosopher and Theologian

~

The thing that keeps people motivated is that they have mini goals to reach and rewards to recognise they have made an improvement in some way. The program teaches them that they need to do this, then, this followed by that, in order to end up so. By no means are they molly coddled or have their hands held, but the guarantee of a reward of some kind as they reach towards their goals is ….. empowering.

I understand that. Some people need to understand each step of the journey and a simple one line instruction or advice is insufficient to get them to stay the course.  They need a structured plan, a Creative Direction, which helps them to see what they need to do and can measure the changes as they occur.  It’s wonderful there are people who have been at the self-improvement ‘game’ long enough that a simple piece of encouragement is all that they need. We need these people so that there is room for those who need the extra motivation.

Anyone who embarks on a weight loss challenge knows it will not be easy. They acknowledge that they may slip up and there are little ‘tricks’ to get them through the special dinners and breakfasts they cannot avoid. Once they are learned and implemented then they can navigate through the smorgasbord of life with more finesse.

Creative Direcion

image from ffffound.com

The same thing applies with self-development, self-improvement, personal development and even business development. Sometimes coaches or plans are needed to hit the mark. I don’t need a New Year Resolution. The statistics for their success are woeful, almost as bad as a successful marriage. I don’t need those bad vibes dogging my footsteps.

So I’ll stick with a plan, or program which I can keep a record with, so that I know if I’m going astray anywhere. If I make my goal early I can add something else to my plan. Fantastic! From working in various fields I know that a plan which is professionally drawn up, proven and I pay for will keep me motivated to achieve the right ends. My ends!

It’s all too simple. I asked for some help with achieving my health goals, business, family, and so on this year. I asked my Guide and meditated on it. The answer was beautifully simple.

 “Follow the plan Susan, the one you helped create; Life Change 90. You know it works.”

That’s one of the things which can happen when you try too hard to keep business and personal separate… I forgot to think. I had my Creative Direction there all along.  Then again, that damned brain fog has been pretty rugged recently.

 “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”    Alan Cohen
Creative Direction
image from supersomebody.com –  The Perfect Example

 That’s it… now I’m putting it all to work.

Blessings,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson  2014

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