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Archive for the ‘Moon’ Category

No Way Out

Posted in Creativity, Identity, Life, Love, Magic, Moon, Poetry, Spirit, tagged #NoWayOut, #shapeshifters, acceptance, coping skills, hunted, Life, Love, misunderstood, Moonlight, Relationships on September 16, 2015| 1 Comment »

Time was running out quickly

There was nowhere left to run

Nowhere left to hide

No way to reach the safety of the house

Or the safe escape through the stone circle high in the mountains.

∼

The hunter they had brought in was too good

She had been harried and hunted

From the moment she reached the forest

Running and hiding at every turn

She had almost reached the end of her strength

As she hid near the edge of town once more.

∼

Yet the yearning drew her onwards

More strongly with each passing second

With each heart stopping howl from the mountains

Her mate, her partner, her daylight lover

Waiting, ever more frantic as the minutes slipped by

As she herself yearned to be with him again.

∼

The moon was full and rode high in the almost clear sky

The one blessing of this pain filled night

Scenting the wind she was sure she smelled rain

As low on the horizon lightning flashed

In the afterglow she could see scudding clouds rushing in.

∼

The hunter was closing in still

She remained frozen in place, waiting for the moment

The moment she might escape.

∼

Cool droplets of water brought a sharp tang to her nose

So much more sensitive in her wolf form

Clouds and rain grew heavier as time passed

The loamy scent of the earth growing stronger with the rain.

∼

Carefully she stretched each limb

Bringing the blood flowing strongly through cramped muscles

The afterimage of the lightning flash temporarily blinding her hunters

The dark clouds and heavy rain masking her scent

She took her one chance and ran

Fleeing as fast as limbs too long immobilised

Were asked to be fleet once more.

∼

As she slipped under cover of the forest

She heard a guttural sound behind her

The hunter had been waiting, but

As luck would have it this time

He misjudged his prey.

∼

She loped off towards the mountains

Revelling in the blood coursing through her veins

In time she would reunite with her mate

The one who would become her lover come sunrise

As they moved to yet another place

To live free for a time before being forced to leave again.

∼

Such was their life as wolf and human

Yet they would not trade it for any other

So long as they were together.

∼

Together they now were, reunited at last

Their happiness all that mattered

Shared as wolf, or man and woman

Love knew no bounds

In the wildness of their world.

∼

Blessings, Susan ♥

©Susan Jamieson 2015

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Magic’s Realm

Posted in Creativity, Life, Love, Magic, Moon, Poetry, Things Metaphysical, tagged #MagicsRealm, #shapeshifters, #Standing Stones, Goddess, Magic, magical spells, Moonlight, Priestess on September 25, 2014| 4 Comments »

The white wolf stood

Like a statue frozen in place

Poised on the edge of flight

Trembling, she gazed into the moonlight

Eyes searching for a way into the woods

Silently she crept onwards

Alert for the slightest sound

Anything which would send her flying for cover

Racing until safety was once more found

Heart racing, she eventually reached the shadows

Giant Elm, Sycamore and Oak

Spread their branches over her

Breathing a sigh of relief

One heart stopping moment of disbelief

She changed

One moment a wolf white as snow

The next a tall slender woman

With hair of gossamer white

Trailed by a snow-white owl

Turning quickly she moved through the woods

Following the shade of the trees

Crossing the moonlit groves

Moving carefully onwards

Until before her stretched the open vista

Leading to the magical Stones

Wreathed in the magical glow of the moonlight

They sang the hypnotic song to her

A radiant smile played around her red lips

As she stepped into the magical circle

Quickly praying to the Goddess above

She walked to the central stone

One touch

One word

The air shimmered

Sparks flew like snowflakes

Where a woman stood moments before

Vanished without a trace

Except

In a crevice at the base on the stone

A small white blossom tossed its head

A soft white snowflake

To join others dotted around the circle

A gift from Priestess to Goddess

As she crossed safely into magic’s realm once more

∼

Blessings, Susan ♥

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The Sorceress

Posted in Life, Love, Magic, Moon, Poetry, Spirituality, Things Metaphysical, tagged #Sorceress, #The Executive Sorceress, Love, Magic, New Beginnings, Shape Shifters, Snowy Owl, Spirituality on August 20, 2014| 5 Comments »

Image courtesy of cosmicpsychics.files.wordpress.com

As she stepped through the door

Her eyes drifted skyward

No need to be on guard

Ebony sky sparkling

Stars mesmerising

The Goddess rising over the horizon

A secretive smile played over red lips

The times had changed

Like a new lovers’ kiss

Blessings, shining brightly

With the Full moons’ embrace

The Executive Sorceress strode forth

Time now to hurry north

Her sister’s already gathering

Standing under the moonlight

She took a breath to calm her mind

A second to sink within

Her mind formed a clear image

A Snowy Owl sparkling brightly

Her breath trickled slowly

Through her parted lips

The air shimmered brilliantly

Like sunlight on new cut crystal

Arms raised to the sky

Whirling through the air

The Snowy Owl flapped her powerful wings

Speeding away to the north

Over the silent lake

Past the quiet woods

Quickly flying forth

From eyes seeing afar

From East, West and South

She saw her sisters arriving

With a wild cry of joy

She swooped earthward

Into the circle with her sisters

Celebrating the Goddess, the moon

Welcoming the Executive Sorceress

A new world

A new life

A new you.

The Moon Goddess rising

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, August 2014

©The Executive Sorceress, 2014

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Changing Times

Posted in Abundance, Magic, Moon, Motivation, Soul Growth, Spirituality, tagged # being in the now, #Time Changes, crystals, Future, New Beginnings, past, present, the fourth dimension, time on August 19, 2014| 3 Comments »

Image courtesy of http://www.josephinewallart.co.uk

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.”
― Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

It seems that irrespective of where I begin, at present, my mind returns to the topic of, Time. I decided to spend some time to see if or why there was something drawing me back to this topic time and again. It seems there is no way I can avoid it, and that is more truth than anything else. It seems that even in the things I wish to say, the message of “time” is put in front of me.

What is Time? According to Wikipedia it is described thus: – “Time is the fourth dimension and a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.”

Of course there is a great deal more to the subject of time, enough to fill more than a single novel, but the general premise is there. Stories and films abound about time, whether it is being manipulated, people are travelling back or forward through it or simply translocation within it. For a great many it seems, time, is an engaging thought.

Image courtesy of freyjasig.deviantart.com

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

So why have I been so preoccupied with time? We’ve recently experienced another “Super Moon” in August 2014; in itself a special occurrence, and we have another closing in on September 9^th/10^th. A full moon brings the potential for change, if you so desire, a Super Moon heralds the possibility of great changes, so having two, so close together, plus another closely following, can create a time of upheaval.

I have been preoccupied with intense introspection, at times, almost being lost to the world around me, as I ponder the changes I have been through, and those I feel offered to me.

Image courtesy of http://www.josephinewallart.com

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.”

― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

It wasn’t long before the timing of our move from Byron Bay to Redland Bay, became apparent. By the time we had finished the transition and had ourselves settled into our new home, the July Super Moon was upon us. Coincidence? No, I don’t believe so. In the very act of packing we divested ourselves of much of the accumulated paraphernalia of the past. Even as we settled in we found still more things to recycle. (We rarely throw anything away as there are so many charities which can put those things we have not used, or need, to pass on to a good use.)

It was a time of clearing away the past, which was cluttering our way, making us ready for the new coming to us. It was a time of deep introspection as outmoded ideas and feelings were considered and discarded also. The way I perceive everything around me has felt altered, some things in a subtle fashion, and yet others in a more noticeable way.

At times I have felt a great unrest as my energy levels fluctuated. There would be days filled with energy and bubbling excitement followed by days where everything felt like a heavy weight and a struggle to simply move through the day. Then, of late, there has been more time spent in simple contemplation as the urgency of the past seemed to dissipate.

Looking at the Super Moon through a crystal ball.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

I have finally found more time to visit the local “duck pond”, which it will be called until it is time for us to leave. I have yet to find another name located anywhere for it, and since there are plenty of ducks around, as well as other wildlife, the “duck pond” it will remain. It is peaceful and calm, and yesterday I saw my first wallaby here. (Yes Laurie, I finally saw one here!) It was a beautiful “Pretty Face” wallaby and as soon as I get through the one thousand photos I’ve just downloaded I will post some of the local wildlife.

It was a beautiful day. We had been deluged by just over ninety millimetres of rain the day before, great for the plants and garden and then, walking round the pond we decided to explore a little further. As the light was fading I grabbed a couple of photos of an old dead tree. Then I found it was far from dead… but more of that to come.

The old dead tree against the sunset skyline.

“Fantasy, if it’s really convincing, can’t become dated, for the simple reason that it represents a flight into a dimension that lies beyond the reach of time.”
― Walt Disney Company

So, Super Moons, full moons, moving, packing, clearing out and settling in, opening myself to the Universe and Spirit; it has been a time of many changes. The exploration of things and themes I hadn’t thought about in-depth for a long time, and the resolution of some old hurts. It has proven that time can have so many different aspects. Sometimes thought of as the “fourth dimension” it is not such a farfetched idea after all. I have finally found the time and desire to unpack my wonderful crystals. My home is filled with the bautiful crystal energy which makes me feel more serene. Who says a preoccupation with time is a bad thing – definitely not me, and a Super Moon, the Harvest Moon is soon to come.

The beautiful August Super Moon cannot hide.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Blessings, Susan ♥

©Susan Jamieson, August 2014

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Escape through the Portal

Posted in Magic, Moon, Poetry, Spiritual, tagged #escape, #escape through the portal, #Standing Stones, #through the portal stones, Love, Magic, Moon Goddess on July 21, 2014| 10 Comments »

Image courtesy of http://www.ephotozine.com Magic of the Standing Stones

Breathe purling in white wreaths from her mouth She moved deeper under the shelter of the ancient Oak tree A shimmering bent the air as A beautiful woman in a purple cape stood sheltered Within the arms of the old tree Deeper in shadow than before A prayer to Luna, moon Goddess, Shine your brilliance this night upon us all But yet hide your radiance from my luminescent skin The sounds of the spell caster following her trail Too close to chance the glow of her face calling him nearer One more leap to reach the Sacred Grove One more chance to journey through to their world again She sent forth her thoughts into the crystalline night There, high in this very tree, the wise and knowing gaze of the Owl A shimmering of her form saw her body become like mist

Image courtesy of animals.timduru.org She flew as the Owl, her guardian this night.

In its stead a large Snowy Owl Launching itself aloft it sped through the night The screech of the hunter on her trail Swooping down in to the midst of the Sacred Grove Encircled by Alder, Ash, Willow and Holly She landed lightly, shimmering once more into her human form From beneath the Willow strode forth a man, Gathering her close they breathed a silent prayer of thanks Turning they faced the silent stone circle Bowing their heads before the Gods They strode quickly to the portal A sound of pure hatred and rage Pierced the air with a scream As they stepped through the portal Blinding light flashed briefly As the furious raptor circled the grove Emptiness greeted his eyes as the light faded A flash of purple all that remained of her cape His prey had returned to their own time and place For this chase, his time was over.

Image courtesy of http://www.digitalartistdaily.com Beauty fled with her love into the realm of the night.

Blessings, Susan ♥ © July 2014 Susan Jamieson

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Betrayal

Posted in Death, Depression, Dreams, Magic, Moon, Poetry, Uncategorized, tagged #changeling, #endings, #red moon, #wolfpack, despair, illness, Loneliness, loss, Love, Moonlight, Susan Jamieson, Wolves on January 19, 2014| 2 Comments »

image from http://www.deviantart.com Howling for the soul sister to pass

Betrayal

The time drifted by slowly

There was nothing left

No way to measure the passage of time

Nothing but the slow drip, drip, drip

She let her head roll back

Resting lightly against the window frame

Outside she could see the moon

A blood moon, portent of bad tidings

The trees outside wailed their mournful sounds

And somewhere a wolf howled loudly

Joined quickly by the rest of the pack

Strange, but she had seen no wolves here

Not since she came so long ago

But it wasn’t that long surely

No, it only felt that way

But fitting somehow that they came now

Almost as if they could hear her coming

Drip, drip, drip -The only sound inside

The howling of the wolves outside

And an eerie feeling creeping over all

She was starting to feel cold

The mist curled from her open mouth

She should have brought a blanket

Made things much easier in the end

The cold climbed upwards

Through her arms and legs

Up from the cold floor, cold as the grave

Drip, drip, drip, the continuing sound

Fainter now the wolves were drawing nearer

Their howling more frenetic than ever

The moon climbed higher so she raised her head

Strange how heavy her head now felt

Drip, drip, drip, a cold wetness intruded on her reverie

The howling wolves must have been outside the window

Their howls so loud in her head now

As the icy cold reached her heart

She gave one slow sigh

The light dimming in her eyes

She could no longer see the moon

No longer hear the slowing drip, drip, drip

The only sound

The howling of the wolves

The dripping stopped,

The moon still rose

The wolves howled once more

A cry of pain and anguish

For a soul lost.

Alone in death

As she had been in life

Alone.

image from http://www.smscs.com The pack gathers to welcome one home

Blessings Susan x

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Between Worlds

Posted in Creativity, Dreams, Ghosts and Spirits, Love, Magic, Moon, Poetry, Spirituality, Things Metaphysical, tagged #attraction, #Between Worlds, #devil hound, #moonrise, #spell caster, #Standing Stones, @portal, happiness, Love, Magic, Susan Jamieson on January 15, 2014| 6 Comments »

image from image from dearscotland.com

~~~~~~~~~~

Bitter

Frost ridden wind

Caught deep inside her throat

Swirling

Like wraiths amongst the trees

Gnarled

Roots seemed to pull her feet

Gripping tightly to

Her satin slippers as she ran

A mournful howl

Echoing intense dread

Ripped across the silent moors

Glancing back

She could see a pair of blood red eyes

Peering hungrily in her direction

Heartbeat

Hammering in her veins

She pushed herself even faster

The trees themselves seemed to reach towards her

Welcoming in their evil embrace

The spell caster had wrought his magic well

Find

Bind

Kill

But never to let her go.

~~~~~~~~~

Ahead

The merest lightening of the sky

As the moon rose over the horizon

Time

Was running faster now

A consequence

Of the spell caster’s work

His Lord’s desire

Never to relinquish his claim

Over her body

But her heart

Belonged to the one who awaited her

On the far side of the portal

Between the standing stones

~~~~~~~~~

Finally free of the overhanging trees

Her dress blew free from her entangled legs

As she sped across the hillocky ground

Ahead the stones stood proud

Silhouetted in the growing brilliance of the moonlight

Suddenly

A blood curdling howl ripped apart the silence

Stumbling, she risked a glance behind

To see two evil red eyes

Their heat scalding on her back

~~~~~~~~~

image from owlsandorchids.com

Her trembling feet hit the smooth ground near the stones

The moon rose high in the sky

Just to her right the glistening light of the portal

Fetid breath almost overwhelmed her

An arm reached through the portal

Taking hold of her hand

Bringing her a new found strength

An eldritch howl pierced the night

She smiled at the sight which welcomed her

Through the swirling portal

Between the standing stones

Sighing

She stepped through.

image from eltoron.com

Blessings, Susan

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2014 – A New Beginning.

Posted in Abundance, Blessings, Creativity, Gratitude, Love, Magic, Moon, Philosophy, Self Development, Uncategorized, tagged 2014, a great year, A New Beginning, celebrations, Ceremonies, Goodbye to 2013, Language of Letting Go, New Moon, New Year Eve, Setting up 2014 on December 31, 2013| 19 Comments »

Happy New Year courtesy Facebook.com

“Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down – as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.”
― Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series

Today, January 1st 2014, is a New Beginning for everyone.

I don’t usually go in for really long quotes but I think it’s all been said here. It encapsulated what we’ve done over the past month getting ready for the new year to arrive, getting our plan made for 2014 to be a great year and also reflecting on what we did in 2013. After all, if something worked really well you don’t toss it out just because you turned a page. A New beginning is like that.

This year is a special year. We have already had the great New Year’s Eve celebrations, which we watched from home since I can’t drink – not a single drop! Truthfully, after the past several years I’m not missing it at all. I used to feel slightly left out at parties, but it’s been so long now that I don’t miss it any longer. At least I can remember what I did the night before and I don’t have to worry about spiked drinks. In fact, the only spiking I was likely to see was if I stabbed myself with a toothpick from the fruit in my drink! A dangerous life but a New Beginning.

So this year we have followed the same pattern as the previous few which has been our own New Beginning. We have our own celebration, a releasing of the old energies and a welcoming in of the new; wishes for the coming year for both ourselves and for the world. It’s a quieter night, but there is a huge amount of peaceful gratitude when we have finished.

This year is even brighter with a New Moon falling tomorrow night. We have another ceremony planned, with the powerful energies from the heavens to boost the ceremony of tonight. If you want to talk about being on a high, well we’re certainly feeling that. Surrounded by fireworks as we concluded our ceremony earlier and in the right head space for the next ceremony, it is a beautiful feeling to begin the year.

Australia greets the New Year before anywhere else so, I’ll wish everyone else a wonderful New Year’s Eve and a great New Year’s Day. If you’re having a New Moon ceremony, I wish you as wonderful a ceremony as we have planned. Let 2014 be a year of peace, laughter, fun and harmony, and “The Messenger” will bring the beauty in.

The Messenger: from http://www.Josephine wall art.co.uk

Bright Blessings for 2014, Susan x

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Through the Looking Glass …Part 2

Posted in Blessings, Challenges, Christmas, Coping Skills, Creativity, Gratitude, Health, Love, Moon, Motivation, Philosophy, Photography, Self Development, Uncategorized, tagged BEing present, Christmas, coping skills, Forward Planning, goal setting, Life Change 90, life lessons, Love, Lyme, Lyme disease, Motivational, New Beginnings, New Year's Eve, Relationships, Self Development on December 30, 2013| 3 Comments »

image from gamesfortrainers.blogspot.com

“Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right.” Aldous Huxley

A couple of weeks ago I told you about the planned trip to Mount Tambourine so we could have a “time out” to use as a forward planning session for next year. You can read about it here.

Initially I wasn’t a whole-hearted supporter of the planning session as I felt tired and still unwell from the Lyme medication and pressured by the proximity to Christmas. In fact, both issues were learning exercises for me. Being ill is not a natural state for anyone to be in and I’m no different to anyone else. I fight it, which is counterproductive. By this I don’t mean that if you are ill you, or I, should simply lie down and give in to it. Definitely not! But fighting an illness is not helpful. Understanding it and then making the most of your time and resources, is the better way to manage it. Fighting it just exhausts you and leaves you open to many other problems because of the exhaustion.

image from http://www.runninglovingliving.com –

Similarly, letting the fact that Christmas was so close unsettle me, to the extent that I felt overwhelmed, was a fruitless exercise. In reality, when I had time to look at what I had already done and what was remaining, it allowed me to realise that I was as ready as I needed to be before the big day. I allowed my struggle with ‘brain fog’ to start running a destructive program in my mind which could have ruined Christmas. Fortunately my “time out” sorted through these issues.

Outlook from Tambourine over the mountain

More than that, after I had my shower and dinner, settled in and allowed myself to unwind, it in itself was an enormous gift. I found I was ready and able to focus on planning for next year. Yes, next year which is now only twenty-four hours away, and as such the reason I felt I should finish “Through the Looking Glass.”

I believe it was an auspicious start to the event as it was the night of the full moon. You may have already gathered that I love the full moon and from the top of the mountain it was interesting. Even with the cloud cover the views were amazing.

Moon appearing from behind clouds

Sunset

The Full Moon

The Face of the Moon

We had a table brought up to the room so we could spread out our writing material, and set to work with the check list of questions from the Life Change 90 Program. We each had our own monthly and yearly review sheets which we filled in alone and as an exercise discussed later. It was enlightening to see where we were completely in sync with each other and the small areas where we had a slightly different viewpoint. It isn’t necessary to do this but it was a good exercise from our perspective since I’m the director of Life Change 90.

The review in Progress

It was also good to see where we were both on the same track; most of the ‘differences’ were in reality, terminology. Which brought home the importance of making sure you and your partner really listen to each other and understand what each other are really saying, not what we think they are saying. If that rings a bell, it’s because we use the same ‘formula’ with our children when we want to make sure they are really listening to us and following our requests, at least when they are small enough to pay attention!

Obviously, our reviews were slightly different as my focus was tilted towards my perceptions of how my illness affects what I do, Ray and us as a couple. Ray’s was naturally tilted towards his viewpoint as the person who carries a larger share of the daily activities since I am unwell a lot of the time and the changes that entails. He also focused on his activities and us as a couple.

image from projectavalon.net Everyone sees things from a different perspective

Our forward planning went into three stages, as individuals for next month, next year and as a couple for the same periods. Then we looked at it from a business perspective. It sounds onerous but in fact, it was relatively easy. There is a degree of overlap between each which cuts down the planning steps. Once again we worked on individual sheets to begin the process and then began to combine them.

Whilst it was important to schedule the goal setting for the business, it is something which I do at home and therefore it directly affects and impacts on what we, as individuals, are able to do. I am fortunate that Ray is the Chief Blogger at the moment for Life Change 90. (One Chief Blogger at a time is enough, don’t you think?)

image from Life Change 90

One of our major goals is to move in the first quarter of the year, onto our farm somewhere relatively close to here. By it’s very nature it is not something we can have concrete steps for, since there are many things which need to fall into place first, such as my health. I start my new regimen of Lyme medication at the weekend and my response to it will affect some of our plans.

image from properties.mitula.com.au

Another interruption (or irritant as I call it), is having to visit my Lyme doctor every six weeks. It would have been nice to be told he was changing his routine when I saw him last. Instead, we found out when the advice he inserted into a Christmas card fell into our laps as soon as we had finished our planning session. Plus my appointment had been moved to 7.30pm and when it is three and a half hours away from home, a late appointment isn’t really what I would prefer. Traveling is not my strong suit. I arrive like a bent pretzel and feel as though the least movement will snap off an offending arm or leg completely. But, this too shall pass.

image from deltasdazzlingcostumes.com.au –

There is a big family birthday coming up in February, but we need to be flexible until we see how these meds affect me, so we have a mini monthly review planned for mid-January to see how we are going.

I hope you now have an idea of how we went about our review and planning. It is, I feel, important to make the most of the time you have and this way I feel we maximise what is possible.

Make the most of your New Year celebrations; the New Year is almost upon us. Roll in 2014!

image from blog.grandchancellorhotels.com

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” ― Edith Lovejoy Pierce

May you reach all your goals in 2014.

Stay safe. Stay well.

Blessings, Susan x

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And so this is Christmas

Posted in Abundance, Blessings, Christmas, Coping Skills, Family, Gratitude, Health, Life, Moon, Philosophy, Uncategorized, Writing, tagged And so this is Christmas, BEing present, Boxing Day, Christmas, Christmas Day, Gratitude, health, life lessons, Love, New Year, self acceptance, So this is Christmas, Spirituality, unconditional love on December 28, 2013| 9 Comments »

image from creationinateapot.com The Holly and the Ivy

“False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports” Richard Burton

And so this is Christmas

There is a certain element of “Why are you doing this?” It’s a question that surges through my mind often at midnight. Most people, or many people, are already in bed or at least preparing for bed. Their day is almost over and they are calm, relaxed and settled for the night. It is time to get into the rest and healing mode and allow our body to repair and recharge for the next day.

So I ask myself once again, why am I sitting here at this time of night? The answer is fairly simple.

And so this is Christmas

Am I tired? – Well yes I am. It’s been a big day. In fact it’s been a five big days for me, and I struggle with having to accept the reality of that. After all, Christmas only comes once a year. This year my husband did much of the physical work getting ready for the big day. In fact we both shared the work of readying the turkey. What I couldn’t manage I instructed him on what to do. Not being able to do it all myself was irritating. I’m sure it was quite trying for him too!

And so this is Christmas – Christmas Day

Technically, Christmas Day should have been relatively easy going as we were spending the day alone. There was neither family nor friends calling in that day, we were a duo of orphans for the day. Yet somehow, the very fact that it was Christmas, the expectations I had of the day, made it a day where, by days end I was feeling drained. Happy but none the less drained. I already know that this had to do with the change in my routine of many decades (oh I’m so ancient!) transitioning into a new phase. It’s something I have to work on and it is already part of my plan for 2014.

image from http://www.bigfatballoons.co.uk

And so this is Christmas – Boxing Day

Boxing Day was a special day; my son and his girlfriend came down to spend it with us. Once again my husband did much of the work, under supervision, but by the end of the day I was exhausted. I had a beautiful day but I drastically under estimated how I was going to respond to the physical part of the day. From spending whenever I needed to resting, to spending all the day talking, joking and reminiscing. Including preparing, with help, the lunch, and afterwards, the clean-up, it was a surprisingly big change. Whilst being really happy to see them I was truly disappointed that I hadn’t coped better. Reality can be a harsh task master or task mistress.

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And so this is Christmas – Friday

Hence, Friday was a mandatory day of rest. It had been decided beforehand when we realised my daughter would be unable to get down for Boxing Day and due to work pressures we agreed to travel up to Brisbane to see her. Once again I underestimated how much the mere trip would tire me. I find it frustrating, aggravating and annoying, and I have yet to come to terms with those feelings. We had a lovely lunch, more talk, laughter, reminiscing, and I also got to play with our dogs. One was mine but they have both been together since puppies and, since it would have been too difficult on the dogs, or was it on Natalie, she ended up with both dogs. It was wonderful and nostalgic at the same time seeing them again. It is astounding how draining the emotions can be, and yet eliminating them reduces the humanity of a person. I’ll stick with emotions and learn how to deal with these things in the coming year.

So this evening I’m feeling ‘fried’. The aches and pains are back and the brain fog is starting to creep from the corners of my mind with each passing minute. I knew it was going to happen when we arrived home and I could feel the stiffness as I tried to get out of the car.

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And so this is Christmas – Today

I mentioned in an earlier post, “I’m a work in progress” and I accept that I am a spirit having a human existence. All these physical and emotional knots are things I have to learn to deal with. That’s not to say they have to be easy, nor even hard, they simply are to be learned. I have time, plenty of time in which to learn these things. There will be days when I wish I didn’t have to learn them, days when I wish it would all go away. I’m hopeful there will be days when I can sail through these lessons with equanimity and aplomb, but I have a way to go yet before I reach that point.

quote by Audrey Hepburn

For now, I’m doing the best I can. I hope I see things realistically, without rose coloured glasses and without too much of the ‘poor me’ syndrome which I despise. No, I don’t like this situation but I have to learn to deal with it, without becoming a psychoanalysing “Dr Phil”, and without feeling sorry for myself at every twist and turn. A little is okay, but too much is…. Well it’s too much. I’m sure my husband will let me know if I go too far down that track.

So, I’m hoping everyone has enjoyed the festive season thus far and is gearing up for New Year if they are going to be ‘doing it’. Personally I think I’ll be spending it quietly with my cards and books. There is a New Moon on the 1^st of January and I will most probably get myself ready for that. It’s something my husband and I look forward to. That’s the plan at this point in time. You can have a drink for me.