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In Search of...Airports and Cairo

image from www-josephinewall-co.uk

The drive to the Ben Gurion airport was straight forward. For the rest of the tour group it was with mixed feelings that they were leaving. We had seen so many delightful things, the history and the way of life in Israel. For me, it was just a hiatus.  After the tour was concluded I was coming back to Tel Aviv for a further two weeks, I wasn’t finished with Israel yet.

What a difference having a tour guide made at the airport. The speed with which we were ushered through the checking in process was awesome, until it ground to an unseemly halt. Both Mel and I were selected to have our bags thoroughly checked out. Why were we chosen? I have no idea. Well, one, we were the only “single young females” in the group. Perhaps rifling through our underwear was part of the thrill of travelling overseas? Finally through we had our tickets, instructions that we would be met at Cairo airport and we were off on the next stage of our adventure.

#In Search of..Airports and Cairo

image from http://www.timesofisrael.com      Searching for the smallest thing

We traveled on Egypt Air this time and the plane gave the impression it might shake itself to pieces before we arrived in Cairo. No-one was inclined to walk around the plane this trip! However, it didn’t take long before we were landing and lining up to go through customs. The tour official who met us was a strange man indeed. He had a high pitched giggle which seemed to pop out far too often. Definitely not a laugh to make you feel comfortable, and then it all began again.

Mel and I were pointed to as we lined up with our luggage. No, they didn’t want to go through our clothes, this time they wished to search us! Much pointing ensued as we were hustled over to two semi partitioned cubicles where the ladies were searched by female airport security staff.  I’m sorry to say I was attacked by the humour of the situation and had an attack of the giggles. I don’t think the very stern looking, short and fat female security ladies found me amusing. At all!  Prodded and patted and twirled around, the prodding and patting down continued and then out came the wand to be whirled up and down our body. I nearly choked in the effort to stop laughing. If it hadn’t been for the tour official running around, his high pitched voice clearly audible where we were, I think we may have been retained a while longer.

#In Search of...Airports and Cairo

image from www-demotix-com. Egyptair

Finally released, we collected our bags and made our way through the airport, at speed, towards the bus awaiting us at the kerb. The bags seemed to be dispatched at greater speed into the bowels of the bus, as we were hurriedly ushered inside. Then came the most amazing lesson of all. Transport in Cairo.

I should explain that the main entrance into Cairo, from the airport, had six lanes, three each way. We are all fairly familiar with the road system, whether we drive on the right or left hand side of the road. Nothing however, could prepare anyone for this. The three inbound lanes became six! Two vehicles per lane, and it made no difference whatsoever how large either vehicle was. Pedestrians scuttled madly across this hurtling, screeching, nightmare of metal to reach either the centre of side of the road.

#In Search of..Airports and Cairo

Egypt, Cairo traffic

Stunned silence enveloped the bus as we watched these kamikaze pedestrians risking life and limb to cross the road. Sensing the quiet the tour official popped up out of his seat and said, in his high pitched giggle, “Not to worry, they’re made of rubber, just bounce if they hit the cars.” I’m not quite sure what was more astounding, that people ran across the road as they did or that this person seriously thought we would believe people bounced off them if  hit. Well, they do bounce but it’s not very good for them when they land. The honking of horns filled the air as we made our way to the hotel.

#In Search of..Airports and Cairo

Tourist entrance Cairo Marriott Hotel

What an incredible transformation. We were staying at the Marriott. I know I felt awkwardly under dressed for the reception. Opulence greeted us everywhere we turned. I simply wanted to find my room, bathe and change into something more respectable. Somehow jeans and joggers didn’t seem quite right amidst the gilt and grandeur.  For the first time the group was spread all over the hotel. I was in the far wing, far enough away to need a map to get back to reception, and of course, I got lost in the labyrinth of the hotel. Thank heavens for bell boys.

#In Search of...Airports and Cairo

Cairo Marriott Hotel and Casino

Mel and I had decided to buy water for our trip and so had arranged to meet in reception after we had time to get our luggage into our rooms and felt a little more respectable. Perhaps it was due to the fact that my room was in the far wing, but it took an age to get my luggage up to my room. In fact I was waiting so long I had time for a coffee and Mel called to find out if I had a problem – Um mm yes, my luggage hasn’t arrived.

Buying water at the hotel was exorbitant, plus they only sold small bottles. We wanted to stockpile sufficient to take us through our Egyptian sojourn. The instructions to reach a shop, outside he precincts of the hotel, were simple. We needed to go down through the rear of the hotel to the “tradesman’s entrance”, then cross the road and turn left, and the shop is on the corner. Simple! Yes?….. No!

Uniformed bellboys, ushers and waiters were delightfully helpful. We found the rear entrance, or should it be exit, with no problems. Then we took a good look at the road. Three marked lanes and six, seven lines of hurtling metal, all heading past us. We noticed, just one of those strange things which happen at these times, that there was not a single vehicle which had even one panel without a multitude of dints in it. I have never seen a more motley collection of vehicles which looked as if they should be heading for the wreckers, and ‘they’ apparently thought pedestrian were made of rubber!

#In Search of...Airports and Cairo

image from http://www.theguardian.com                  Running the Gauntlet

Taking our courage in both hands and a large serving of insanity, we charged across the street during a slight lull (a one car space) and reached the far side. The shopkeepers and their customers came out and looked, some clapped and the car drivers all honked their horns, and waived at the two crazy western women. Laughing we looked round for the shop. No, it’s not here. Wait a minute, right across from where we were standing, back where we had just come from, was a little shop with a sign out front indicating water was sold there. It seems our guardian angels were looking out for us.

#In Search of...Airports and Cairo

image from http://www.non-competes.comWater! The ice would have been nice.

It appeared the road we needed to cross was the driveway to the hotel, on the same side of the street. They really didn’t want us buying water outside the hotel. We looked at each other and then at the once more speeding traffic.  Suddenly, one of the other pedestrians strode out into the maelstrom of speeding madness and held his hand in the air. The universal signal to STOP! We cringed, waiting to see the inevitable happen, or if he would ‘bounce’. With a screech of many brakes the traffic stopped, every single car stopped without hitting anything. We hurriedly crossed to road to the sound of good natured calls and waves. Waving back we reached safety back where we started five minutes earlier.

#In Search of...Airports and Cairo

image from caieg_phototour149 Promenade, Cairo Marriott Hotel

Buying our water supplies we headed back to the hotel. We decided a cup of coffee and a short respite was in order before we explored a little. We were served coffee in beautiful gold embossed china cups and a Turkish delight that melted in your mouth. Life was wonderful and a short while later, refreshed and glad to be alive we set out to explore the hotel.

Blessings, Susan x

Next Week  – Sandstorms, Light Shows, Poverty and Riches.

© Susan Jamieson 2014

In Search of….Part 14

In Search of…Part 13

In Search of…Part 12

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Spirit of Christmas

image from http://www.josephinewall.co.uk “Snow Flake” #spirit of Christmas

“Christmas, when observed with the right spirit, still has the power to call miracles from Heaven to Earth.”
Richelle E. Goodrich,   Smile Anyway

Spirit of Christmas

I’ve let myself down this year. More than this I’ve let everyone else down. I lost the spirit of Christmas.  After meditating for a long time to gain some perspective, some equanimity to look at everything I’ve made some remarkable discoveries.

  • As well as an existing back/neck problem which has seen me ‘confined’ for long periods I finally discovered:
  • I have Lyme disease and a host of companion diseases to confront.
  • From being “flat on my back” from the injury now I’m “flat on my back” from the medication, most of the time
  • I have been challenged to re-define my approach to the spirit of Christmas
Spirit of Christmas

image from caixinhadepirlimpimpim.blogspot.com

I found that I had allowed my existing beliefs about who and what I am, my beliefs about “how” Christmas should be and my role in it, the very spirit of Christmas, to push me into a position where I was severely depressed because I could not meet these expectations. What was more devastating was that I allowed this to almost ruin Christmas this year.

Spirit of Christmas

image from http://www.superstock.co Remember – if you were naughty you got coal in your stocking?

I have found, with the help and support from my husband and some very dear friends that this does not have to be my reality at all. The spirit of Christmas which is so important to me is still alive within me. Whilst this may sound such a simple thing it is, in itself, incredibly profound.  Anything which alters your perception in such a manner is life changing, if you allow it to be.

I found:

  • I have pain, at times intense and unremitting pain, but it does not define me, it is not ME
  • I have some nasty bugs running my internal programs but they do not define me, they are not ME
  • The lack of support for the spirit of Christmas I have always held as a family tradition is not defined by the presence of others, they are not ME

Most importantly I have found that:

  • I am a unique spiritual being having a human existence, my spirituality is not affected by any pain I might suffer, I am ME
  • My unique spiritual  being is not the zillion bugs attacking my human body because I am ME     and
  • It is my spiritual being which creates the magic, joy and belief in the Spirit of Christmas because I am ME

Such a simple and profound statement: I am ME.

Knowing who and what you are, is something which people search for their entire life. I have not found the full scope of Who, and What I Am, but I am content that I have found the ME who is here, right now.

I have always known and accepted I was a “work in progress” since that is the purpose of my spiritual presence here. I simply forgot that changes in the lives around me, which affected my own life, did not change my purpose. I had to learn how to adapt to those changes, to learn something new perhaps, but I retained the essence of who I am. I can retain the spirit of Christmas within me.

I am so grateful that this incredible appreciation has arrived now.  I have been struggling with my meditation but today I found it was there all along.  I have welcomed it back with so much happiness that it feels as though a great light has been re-lit and a beacon now shines in the place of the darkness the depression had enveloped me in.

Spirit of Christmas
“Beacon of Light” walking into sunshine  Spirit of Christmas
  • I am celebrating Christmas Day with my husband, our first alone together and it is going to be uniquely special because we are together.
  • I am celebrating Boxing Day with my son and his girlfriend, a first, which is another uniquely special occasion.
  • I will see my daughter when I can before New Year’s Eve, and I am grateful I can see her then. Whilst she cannot be here “at Christmas” she is here in spirit, in my heart, which is all I need at the moment.
  • Most importantly, my parents, Mum and Dad, will be here in spirit. I miss them more each year but I now know, beyond any doubt, that they will be with me as I sit at my dinner table with my husband eating our Christmas dinner.
  • In all of these and many more the spirit of Christmas I rejoice in is alive and well within me.

It may be the first time I have been ‘alone’ on Christmas Day but it will also be the first time that I have been able to put aside the crushing loneliness their absence brought – even if it is just a little. It makes it a little easier not to have my family physically with me at Christmas when I have always believed that family and the spirit of Christmas were synonymous with each other. I have no idea when or why that changed but since it has and I cannot turn back the clock, I have to “move with the times”.

As the saying goes, “life goes on”, and it does, whether we will it so or not. Whether it hurts or not, life always goes on. It is a spiritual lesson our human selves must accept. When we do, life isn’t as bad, even if just by a little.

Whilst my family may be moving in other directions, as their lives change, then so has mine. Now I have a wonderful and loving husband who spoils me, not just on Christmas Day but every day. As our love grows it encompasses all the changes which occur.  Our spirit of Christmas is alive and growing each year.

Spirit of Christmas

image from twu.ca

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.”
Bob Hope

When so much seemed to have been taken away I looked and saw that I have so much to be grateful for, a family who are strong and capable individuals, who care enough to want to be around, and a husband whose love will wrap me round and always keep me safe and warm.

The Spirit of Christmas – what a wonderful thing to be grateful for,  I know I am. I hope you are too!

Blessings for a wonderful Christmas with the Spirit of Christmas alive in your own hearts.

Merry Christmas,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson, 2013

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In Searcdh of...Jerusalem

image from www-josephinewall-co.uk

It’s taken a while but I’d like to explain why I use this image for each of my entries “In Search of”, The simple reason is that the title of the work is “Spirit Elements” and it seems fitting for my story. I hope you like it a much as I do.

Once on the coach at the Dead Sea Hotel we traveled through the Hebron Valley towards Bethlehem. After many calls and ‘agreements’ our guide had been given the all clear for those of us who wished to go into Bethlehem, to do so. It was explained to us that it would be our own decision and no responsibility would be held by the tour operators. Since Bethlehem was inside the West Bank, a Tour Guide from inside there had been arranged and he would look after us whilst we were there. There was still a set protocol to be followed to visit Bethlehem. At the time it seemed slightly odd, from the perspective of hindsight it was a trifle more ominous.

The tour bus driver was allowed to drive up to the West Bank access point, whilst the tour guide had to exit the bus a couple of blocks before the checkpoint.  The driver had been given instructions that he was not allowed to leave the bus under any circumstances, although we were not totally aware of the magnitude of that little statement.

Arriving at the checkpoint I noticed the high concrete wall around three sides of the ‘square’ and the shapes of armed soldiers along the top of the wall, all carrying machine guns! An ominous start. The access area looked, for all the world like a cattle grid, or the gates at the entrance to the Brisbane Exhibition grounds. Once off the bus the driver left immediately, and we were on our own. We moved towards our  entrance. There were swarthy looking characters watching our every move. It was increasingly tense as our every move was carefully watched.

At the other side we were met by the West Bank tour guide, Ibrahim. We later found out that the real tour guide was Ibrahim’s son, but since the recent conflict, the tourism trade had been badly affected and he had therefore decided to take the tour himself.  After the time we had spent in Israel it felt like a different world completely. The buildings were, for the most part, covered in steel grills and the windows or glass in the doors was papered over also.  Everything seemed dustier, the people less cheerful and much more aware of our presence. We were escorted to a restaurant for lunch and had little option but to order something. We were not leaving until we had eaten! We saw Hezekiah’s tunnel, the Church of the Nativity and spent some time being closely scrutinised in a large square in front of an official looking building.

The ‘tour guide’ seemed to disappear into the surroundings as we reached the square and we were left milling around wondering when he was coming back.  Finally, he strode into our midst from within a group of soldiers. We were hustled up the street quickly. The very unfriendly looks made for a tense atmosphere. At one of the unremarkable doorways we were ushered inside. It was a souvenir shop which appeared to sell religious knick knacks of a huge number. The women in the store had coffee, sweets and savouries which they pressed on us at every opportunity at no cost. We had been told that as soon as we were ready to leave we should ask the tour guide to radio ahead for the bus to be at the check point to pick us up. The driver was allowed ten minutes to be at the exit and collect us so timing was critical. However, despite being asked by more than half the group our tour guide was in no hurry to allow us to leave, in fact the door had been locked and bolted – for our protection! It soon became apparent that unless everyone bought something from the shop – which he owned – we weren’t going to leave any time soon.

After a hurried discussion we all bought a small trinket and the guide called for the Israeli bus. We made our way back to the gates under the watchful gaze of the locals and a soldier or two. I am rarely uncomfortable when out and about but it was with a very odd sensation between my shoulders that I made my way through the exit. The Israeli bus was a very welcome sight. We drove several blocks away and collected our Israeli guide, which is when we finally learned of the tension surrounding our visit to Bethlehem. If we had known I doubt that as many people would have gone.

From Bethlehem we drove to Jerusalem. It was such a strange transition, driving through lush countryside after the drab and desolate surroundings inside the West Bank. I am not making any criticism of the area, either the people of the place, yet I can say with all honesty that the only time on my trip I felt at all uncomfortable was whilst I was inside the West Bank.  The air of “something about to happen” was very real.

Jerusalem was yet again a completely diverse mix of modern and ‘ancient’. We saw the Garden of Gethsemane and the Mount of Olives. Nothing was as I expected, probably from too many movies. We, that is Mel and I, had an exciting trip to Ben Yehuda mall to find a new suitcase for me. Pulling an empty suitcase over a paved or cobbled area was hilarious. We were so hungry we stopped for Schwarma in the mall. The looks we got were priceless and watching the flow of people as we sat there was enough to write fill a novel. We managed to find a nifty little store that was crammed with everything imaginable and I bought a few laugh a minute items for my children when I got home.

On the way to the hotel   we stopped at a little coffee shop. They were really nice letting me drag this large suitcase inside with us. We had the most delicious chocolate mousse filled with hot syrupy chocolate. It was so delicious I could have scrapped the plate clean!

The next day we set off for a tour of the old city. We walked from the Western Gate to the many churches and the ‘birthplace of Christ’. There was so much to see and not enough time. We stopped for a while at the Wailing Wall and walked the length of the Via Dolorosa, the “Way of the Cross”.  Stopping at a sidewalk café for drinks and something to eat seemed surreal and at the same time so ‘every day’ that I wondered if I was just an observer in a strange land.

After an exhausting day we went back to the hotel and, being the first two in the business centre, Mel and I hit the computers to write home and keep a running diary of events.

The next day was spent exploring further and a haunting visit to Yad Vashem, the Holocaust memorial. It was impossible not to be moved by the enormity of all we saw.  Mere words and photos cannot really do our time in Jerusalem justice. It could easily fill a small book.

The next morning we packed up and the bus headed for the airport at Tel Aviv, the Ben Gurion airport for the next leg of our tour in Egypt. But first we had to get through customs!

All around us was so much history, it was impossible not to try to capture as much as possible so we could have our memories with us later.

It was a beautiful and challenging visit. The two sides to the same coin, but the differences were so great. After the tense and uncomfortable trip to Bethlehem, it was difficult not to make judgement calls….. rightly or wrongly, we were all glad we were in Israel. I felt I had been protected, and I also felt that ‘we all’ would be safe. It was good to have an angel on my shoulder.

I hope you have enjoyed this…. previous chapters are located throughout the archives. Please use “In Search of..Part “..” and you can catch up if you need to.

Next Week –  Airports and Cairo

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“I would rather trust a woman’s instinct than a man’s reason.”
Stanley Baldwin

~

I wasn’t sure if I would be writing tonight since my sudden decision to retire last night had its own strange carry over to this morning. In fact, it was more like lunch time before I really reached the point of being conscious. That is bad enough, at least from my perspective, after all that’s half a day wasted doing nothing but sleep or snooze in a semi catatonic state.

The truth is that the new medication the doctor prescribed is, what you might call, a trifle heavy handed. Great if you want to spend a day in delightful slumber, but if you are like me, then you spend all your time struggling against its soporific effects to wake up. So why on earth take the medication if I’m going to fight against it, and have a headache as a result?

The answer is incredibly simple. When the pain becomes bad enough that I’m in tears and I would desperately like nothing more than to go to the hospital for some help, I reach for these Dopey Dora tablets. Yes, they eventually make me too cotton woolly to think but I’m left with this strange urge to be doing something because it doesn’t hurt as much. As far as logical thought goes, it’s pretty ridiculous.

~

~

Yet when I tuned in to my inner critic, I heard a song from a favourite movie, My Fair Lady. It was a slapstick piece of complaining from Dr Higgins to Colonel Pickering when Eliza has left after her success at the ball. It was that beautiful soliloquy: “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”

Because it’s been rattling around my head all day I decided to really listen to it and it’s quite funny. All of the ‘lovely’ attributes he is bemoaning woman of the era do not have and men do, are the very essence of the difference between men and women. Women are emotional, feeling creatures who feel things deeply in a different way to men. Men, of that era especially, are somewhat cold, unemotional and aloof, and definitely believe the ‘fairer sex’ should be seen as a trophy and not heard. Ugh! Not my cup of tea at all.

The same thing is apparent from the early twentieth century. At present we are being inundated by a plethora of movies and soapies about the late, great gangster imitations in Australia. The ‘underworld’ and organised crime have perpetuated this myth that there was something glamorous about being a ‘possession’ of one of these mobsters.

Now, I’ll admit to being one of those ’pioneering types’ and would more than likely have been carted away in handcuffs because I’d chained myself to the railings advocating voting for women. That’s a funny enough thought on its own, but doesn’t address the fundamental differences between men and women. Men are all for the rough and tumble, fists flying and if anyone else gets hurt, too bad mate, she’ll be right! Women on the other hand have all those nurturing abilities which see them sacrificing themselves, for their children and their miscreant husbands.

Cats and Dogs

image from thegenealogycorner.wordpress.com –  The looks say it all.

So when Higgins asks, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man” it’s a simple case of nature versus nurture. Some men get it and some don’t. But don’t get me wrong, in an ironical twist, there are some wonderful men who are great at rearing children whilst the woman is great in the high pressure stakes of business.

In short, I believe there are blurred lines in the roles between men and women today. We are seeing a great upheaval in thought, attitude and cultural mores. It brings an added dimension to life, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but that is the tenor of life and learning. We have to take the good and the bad and learn from it.

So Mr Higgins, a woman should not be more like a man, life would be boring indeed, and at the end of the movie, if she wasn’t different, he would never be able to say, “I’ve grown accustomed to her ways”….. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?

~

~

I hope you enjoy my  wander down memory lane , mixing it up with today’s dilemma.

Blessings,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Future: Past, Present or Future

Be mindful of your self talk, courtesy of Facebook.com

” What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new, right now.” – Unknown Author

~

There is always much discussion regarding the future. Yet there is another way of looking at it, and whilst it may sound strange, it is, in its own way, perfectly sensible. Have you stopped to consider the future in these terms; the future past, future present and the future?

In order to look at this strange idea I would ask you suspend normal thought processes and simply look at this idea.

~

The Future – Past.

~

The future past is achieved by having knowledge of the future which by its very nature has allowed you to behave differently in the past. This past could not have occurred if you did not have this knowledge. The purist would argue that the future has been altered because of the knowledge it has provided to you in the past. Convoluted, perhaps, but take a few minutes to think about it and its possibilities.

~

The Future – Present.

~

Once again, the future present is able to exist because you have been able to acquire knowledge from the future which you are able to use in the present. This present could not exist if you had not been able to know information from the future. It might have benefits, but we are unable to determine what it might alter in the future. Give it a moment and think of the possibilities.

~

The Future – Future.

~

In this context, the future must be referred to as the future, future. This is the future which would be created by bringing forward all the changes which occurred in the past and present due to knowledge taken into the past and present from the future. This is an even more convoluted theory, but needs more than a moment to consider.

Is this Science Fiction or Science Fantasy or simply a view of the future?  Who can really know? There are purists from each group who would argue this on its merits, and who is to say it is so farfetched an idea?

To answer a possible question, I have been watching a program called “Fringe”. It has progressed through some fascinating plot lines and stories, bordering at times on pure science fantasy and at others on science fiction. I have difficulty deciding between the two, because the lines are blurred between them each time we make a new advancement.

~

Once Alexander Graham Bell was ridiculed for the idea of communicating over vast distances using a telephone, yet we take this for granted now.

~

Marconi was disbelieved when he said we would be able to talk using a radio.

~

Similarly, Albert Einstein was laughed at with his theory of relativity and gravity.

~

All of these and many more have been shown to be future thoughts of impossible scenarios which were in their present, shown to be possible and their future, our present, accepted as normal. The same can be said for physical accomplishments. Take flying to the moon in spacecraft.  An impossibility which is now accepted as such a common occurrence that many people pay it no heed.

~

~

There is no special ‘ah ha’ moment to this idea. It occurred to me that the way we think about any given event can be coloured by what we know and believe at that time and in the time to come.  Dreams are made of this: the ability to blend fact and the not yet fact, and bring them together in a possible future. Such are the talents of our storytellers. Such are our talents and abilities. Exciting isn’t it?

Here are some of the possibilities people have already thought of.

~

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
T. E. Lawrence

~

There are millions of ideas, and more as ideas are born each day. The only thing limiting out imagination is ….. our imagination.  The future is limitless.

May imagination and ideas flow to you always.

Blessings  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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No Way Out

image from bigjoyyoga.com

“Being truly happy in life involves you feeling more in control of the direction your life is going.”
― Deborah Day

~

I’ve been really chipper for a while now. I haven’t let the occasional bad day get me down. Who am I kidding – they’ve all been miserable to some degree or another, but I’m getting that attitude of gratitude and focusing in on the good things. I’m working the Law of Attraction every day to bring health, wealth and… oh the list is huge.

But it has been a struggle today. I woke up after a fabulous sleep, which is a huge blessing, in an absolute mess. I couldn’t move, get out of bed or get to the damned bathroom unaided. I know Ray is here to help me but that’s not the point. I am grateful for the help, always, but sometimes it would be really nice if I could get up without waking him because I’m in pain. If he hears me moan, even a little, he jumps out of bed and rushes round to help me, just ask the corner of the bed which he regularly bashes into.

No Way Out

image from euromednews.ru

What seems worse is that the pain didn’t go away, despite wheat packs, pills, potions and waving my magic wand! Each time I tried to stand the world turned. That’s quite neat, isn’t it? It’s a Blessing the ensuite is so close and I can bounce off the walls to get in there. Trust myself with the kettle – oh no.  How about a sharp knife to cut my muffin? I don’t think so. Fry the bacon or an egg? Same thing applies. Thank heavens it’s an electric cook top even if it’s ready for the trash.

So, from early I’ve been cataloging my blogs. I mean, what would happen if WordPress had a glitch and all my blogs disappeared? So I’ve been copying them across to a word document and then saving them in my blog folder. Who said I couldn’t do tedious? I’ve already found some posts where the picture I used seems to have vanished like Aladdin when he said Abracadabra.

Now I was irritated, as well as the annoyance with the mobility bug, as if I needed anything else. What was worse was I felt that old friend of mine “The Black Dog” sitting just behind me waiting to visit. The misery I felt just seemed to amplify everything else.

I needed to make some decisions about my super fund which made me irritated enough to want to strangle someone. But what’s the point? It’s not going to make the damned pain leave me alone. It won’t let me see clearly, and without a blazing headache to make the keyboard move all by itself  – Yes, it’s true; I have a possessed keyboard which makes intergalactic messages at the drop of a hat – or in this case a finger.

No Way Out

image from positiveimperative.com

Okay, so what am I to do. What steps can I take to get rid of this feeling that I have “No Way Out? Right, out comes the self-healing and self-help basket!

  • I acknowledge to my body that, yes, I am in pain and therefore I am going to have to stay in bed until it goes away.
  •  I accept that I sometimes need help getting around so that I don’t make things worse by bumping into everything, or falling over!
  • I give myself permission to allow Ray to look after me and do the daily chores. He’s already said he’s happy to do this so why make a big deal out of it every time?
  • If I need to I can and will have a nap during the day. It helps to ward off the intensity of the migraine.

Okay…. I have my diploma in Financial Planning and courses in share trading in my portfolio,(Yes I really do), so there is no drama with the super fund. I may not like it but damn it I CAN DO IT My four step self-help and healing plan will work fine, if I stop doing blogs at midnight. I CAN DO IT.

Yes, the phrase is from Louise Hay, but there are so many self-help books with oodles of advice in my library that they’re almost interchangeable in parts. I can do it and as soon as I hit the publish key this is going to be shut down and the land of nod will come calling.

Are you listening, my voice of self-doubt? I can do it and I don’t need you to get me all frazzled over nothing. So off you go and let my nurse come out and help with the self-care program.

For anyone feeling as though there’s no way out, remember that there is always something you can do, even if it’s acknowledging that just for a while you may need to let someone help. It’s okay. In fact, it’s good for you, and me too.

Now who wants to get away from Kevin Costner?

“She felt trapped, but she didn’t have to. The world is wide open and ready, waiting for us to escape this bubble and join it.”
― C.M. Stunich, Losing Me, Finding You

Blessings to all, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Insight into Life

image from spykebytes.me

Peering

Through eyes tight with pain

Wondering

How long this is going to last

Thinking of a way to make it past

This annoying hindrance

Life and love surround me

Happiness and joy

That everyone can see – but

What lies beyond this world of mine?

What more is there when I close my eyes?

Sightless I sit in solitude

I hear a baby bird calling for its parents

It’s time for food his cheeping says

Another calls its incessant too-wit

To herald another shower of rain

A whirring at the window

Tells me a dragonfly is near

Coming to see what this strange barrier is

A rumbling grows louder as it nears

A car is straining to make it in top gear

There is a low susurration of sound

As the ocean follows its ebb and flow

I hear bubbling grow in heated tempo

As a kettle is brought to boil

I smell tea brewing in the pot

And hear it pouring into a cup

I smell the delicious aroma as it is brought near

I catch the aroma of something sweet

A pastry of some kind I think

Yet there is a sharp tangy scent carried with it

A filling of tart fruit inside the pastry

The taste, sublime, even more intense

As the fruit and pastry are carefully nibbled

The tea is sipped slowly

The fragrant aroma floats over the tongue

And seeps into the senses

A sigh – Who could know

Fruit Danish and tea could taste even better

And the world outside could be heard

With a greater intensity

By resting my eyes from the pain

The world has given me a new refrain

A delight for the senses refreshed again

To see and hear is such a boon

Yet they live again renewed

Eyes open once more, almost too soon

Insight to Life

image from midstridemoxie.blogspot.com

A million words can be used to describe identity and what it means to you or I, and when we’re done, a million more can be used to interpret what we’ve said. Identity, part of that unique quality which remains almost indescribable. We can catch a glimpse, a new insight into identity and turning around find a new insight is laid bare before us.

“Don’t let a day go by without asking who you are…each time you let a new ingredient to enter your awareness.”
Deepak ChopraThe Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

Blessings and Insights to enliven your days.

Ciao, Susan  x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

This is the last post of my NABloPoMo challenge. 30 posts in 30 days.

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