Archive for the ‘Voice Dialogue’ Category

No Way Out

image from bigjoyyoga.com

“Being truly happy in life involves you feeling more in control of the direction your life is going.”
― Deborah Day


I’ve been really chipper for a while now. I haven’t let the occasional bad day get me down. Who am I kidding – they’ve all been miserable to some degree or another, but I’m getting that attitude of gratitude and focusing in on the good things. I’m working the Law of Attraction every day to bring health, wealth and… oh the list is huge.

But it has been a struggle today. I woke up after a fabulous sleep, which is a huge blessing, in an absolute mess. I couldn’t move, get out of bed or get to the damned bathroom unaided. I know Ray is here to help me but that’s not the point. I am grateful for the help, always, but sometimes it would be really nice if I could get up without waking him because I’m in pain. If he hears me moan, even a little, he jumps out of bed and rushes round to help me, just ask the corner of the bed which he regularly bashes into.

No Way Out

image from euromednews.ru

What seems worse is that the pain didn’t go away, despite wheat packs, pills, potions and waving my magic wand! Each time I tried to stand the world turned. That’s quite neat, isn’t it? It’s a Blessing the ensuite is so close and I can bounce off the walls to get in there. Trust myself with the kettle – oh no.  How about a sharp knife to cut my muffin? I don’t think so. Fry the bacon or an egg? Same thing applies. Thank heavens it’s an electric cook top even if it’s ready for the trash.

So, from early I’ve been cataloging my blogs. I mean, what would happen if WordPress had a glitch and all my blogs disappeared? So I’ve been copying them across to a word document and then saving them in my blog folder. Who said I couldn’t do tedious? I’ve already found some posts where the picture I used seems to have vanished like Aladdin when he said Abracadabra.

Now I was irritated, as well as the annoyance with the mobility bug, as if I needed anything else. What was worse was I felt that old friend of mine “The Black Dog” sitting just behind me waiting to visit. The misery I felt just seemed to amplify everything else.

I needed to make some decisions about my super fund which made me irritated enough to want to strangle someone. But what’s the point? It’s not going to make the damned pain leave me alone. It won’t let me see clearly, and without a blazing headache to make the keyboard move all by itself  – Yes, it’s true; I have a possessed keyboard which makes intergalactic messages at the drop of a hat – or in this case a finger.

No Way Out

image from positiveimperative.com

Okay, so what am I to do. What steps can I take to get rid of this feeling that I have “No Way Out? Right, out comes the self-healing and self-help basket!

  • I acknowledge to my body that, yes, I am in pain and therefore I am going to have to stay in bed until it goes away.
  •  I accept that I sometimes need help getting around so that I don’t make things worse by bumping into everything, or falling over!
  • I give myself permission to allow Ray to look after me and do the daily chores. He’s already said he’s happy to do this so why make a big deal out of it every time?
  • If I need to I can and will have a nap during the day. It helps to ward off the intensity of the migraine.

Okay…. I have my diploma in Financial Planning and courses in share trading in my portfolio,(Yes I really do), so there is no drama with the super fund. I may not like it but damn it I CAN DO IT My four step self-help and healing plan will work fine, if I stop doing blogs at midnight. I CAN DO IT.

Yes, the phrase is from Louise Hay, but there are so many self-help books with oodles of advice in my library that they’re almost interchangeable in parts. I can do it and as soon as I hit the publish key this is going to be shut down and the land of nod will come calling.

Are you listening, my voice of self-doubt? I can do it and I don’t need you to get me all frazzled over nothing. So off you go and let my nurse come out and help with the self-care program.

For anyone feeling as though there’s no way out, remember that there is always something you can do, even if it’s acknowledging that just for a while you may need to let someone help. It’s okay. In fact, it’s good for you, and me too.

Now who wants to get away from Kevin Costner?

“She felt trapped, but she didn’t have to. The world is wide open and ready, waiting for us to escape this bubble and join it.”
― C.M. Stunich, Losing Me, Finding You

Blessings to all, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”   ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

A strange thing happened to me tonight as I read through the blogs I follow on my reader.  Someone I have come to know very well, and for whom I have the greatest admiration for, was obviously having a very hard time. In fact, as I was reading this post my husband walked in to find tears streaming down my face. At that moment, at trying to explain what ‘was wrong,’ I came to a startling realisation.

For the first time in many long years I have found, here in cyberspace, on Word Press, a group of people who have become friends. In fact they are very dear friends, and this has happened without my being consciously aware of it. The realisation was, for me, quite momentous. I have spent the better part of my adult life without friends.

There had been several reasons. My ex was a police officer and many people find that confronting. They were polite, to a point, but really didn’t want to socialise. Then there were those who wanted to believe the worst of any police officer, and his family, during the Fitzgerald Corruption hearings, and as you can imagine some very cruel things were said. He had a phobia about retiring and finding he was penniless and so everything we had earned whilst working went into our home and investments. We owned our home but our family life had been – somewhat lacking. Holidays were something we dreamed of as everyone went away over the summer holidays.

Still, they couldn’t know this but it was said that ‘he must be corrupt because we owned our home’. Cruel, senseless and divisive. It was needlessly cruel towards our children and for that I despised, with a fierce intensity, those people. Then later there were those people who had professed to be friends and evaporated like a summer breeze the moment my ex husband and I separated. It felt like I had contracted some unknown contagion and I felt more isolated than ever.

“When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that’s when I think life is over.”    ― Audrey Hepburn

I was asked recently when I had built a wall around myself. It took a while for me to follow the thought back, inside myself, and to realise when it had begun. This protection mechanism to prevent the feelings of hurt and rejection. I had an image to protect, that of the competent no-nonsense individual who could do anything, despite the difficulties. It was a persona which had developed over many years and for those who have read my posts about Voice Dialogue and Sub Personalities you will recognise this was “The Protector”.

However, I have moved on and against the odds I have met and married a wonderful caring man, someone who takes the time to understand the complexities of my nature. I am daily grateful for this miracle. Yet he has also done more than allow me to love freely again. He has allowed that shield I erected to start to come down. I have extended myself to others and been accepted. I have found people who are genuine, who wish me well and whom I have come to care for deeply. Should anything happen to these people I would feel all the grief one would normally feel at the loss of a close friend or family member.


image from http://www.hbdragon.com     Lives entwined.

This may seem like a small thing for some. It may seem trite to others. Yet I have learned that friendship is one of the most important things we can give to each other. The knowledge that we need not put on a face to shield how we feel from them and that they will still offer support, an ear to hear you or kind words to help you knit those fraying emotions together again. It means, very simply, that no-one need ever feel alone because feeling alone, feeling isolated and misunderstood is corrosive to our hearts and souls. Our spirit is damaged by the isolation from other spirits, from other spirits in human form as we are here on earth.

So, to all those who I have come to value through my interaction with you, I offer you my friendship, a delight in your creativity, an empathy in your difficult times, and a joy in your happiness. As much as people crave love, friendship is the glue to make or lives a glowing beacon.

I wish everyone, true friendship, and my heartfelt thanks for allowing me to reclaim this wonderful feeling. Thank you.


image from quotes.lifehack.org

Be well, be supported, receive friendship and happiness, and smile at least once a day.

Ciao, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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It’s beautiful isn’t it? Looking through the pictures I was immediately captured by the different hues of the sunset. It brought to mind the harshness of the country and its changeable nature.  There is so much of Australia I would love to see, but I have to acknowledge that I would have to choose which time of year to go to some of the places. I so admire the people who live out west, the farmers and primary producers without whom we could not survive. I know I could not do it. I’m realistic if nothing else.

“Summer Love” is a song made famous by Sherbert in 1975. It had catchy lyrics which revolved around how wonderful it was to be in love in the summer, the summer being one of the main ingredients. I often wonder if I felt that way when I was younger…. and oh, I feel so Old right now.

I tell my family and friends that between September and May they have to be aware of one very important fact – treat with caution because a “Homicidal Maniac” could be lurking in the wings if the mercury goes over 30 degrees. She is one of my sub personalities, and is a tormented soul. You see, she was meant for a cooler clime and the heat makes her feel simply awful.

Imagine, if you will, that there is a furnace in the region of your solar plexus. As the mercury rises this furnace is stoked by a demented harridan until it’s a white-hot roaring blaze. The heat rises up through the heart making the blood boil. It travels through the throat, making you feel as though you are trying to breathe super heated gas. It continues to rise up into the brow, beating like a bass drum and finally all the way to the crown, turning the brain to a molten jelly. Not a pretty picture.

image from smileys-4-eva.deviantart.com

It’s too easy to say I’m feeling a tad sorry for myself and perhaps I am. I don’t believe I’m going to suddenly spontaneously burst into flames, (Spontaneous Combustion) although there are times it feels that way. Perhaps I spent too much time watching the X Files.  This was before I had begun my treatment for Lyme disease and its friendly co infection of Bartonella. My body is reacting to these drugs like it would to foreign invaders. It is trying to burn the blighters to ash, only I’m caught in the middle. At the moment I think if I sat in a cold bath I could boil the water after a while. I kid you not!

Everywhere I go I see the summer clothes, which I can’t wear because I’m so super sensitive I burn like on overcooked lobster.   Then there are the over cheerful weather reporters, and their cohorts, who delight in saying “It’s going to be a beautiful sunny day tomorrow. We’re expecting the temperature to be in the mid thirties”.  Oh No, no, no, no. I feel a deep primal rage bubbling to the surface (along with my inner furnace) and a murderous rage simmers behind my eyes. If I had laser sight I might just incinerate the weather reporters who are sitting in their nice frigid air-conditioned news room.

Of course, I know that the majority of this is caused by being ill and the drugs I’m taking, but it really doesn’t help very much.  I’ve had a rough couple of days. There have been things I had to do because I’ve put them off in the hope I would feel better – soon! Work on the computer, accounting, columns of figures and searching for information. It doesn’t help that I know I should have been doing this in small increments to make it easier. I didn’t but now it’s finished yet I still have to pay the Piper.

I lost myself for a while yesterday with my whales. Nearly got caught again today. Gazing out the window, having a break, I saw a beautiful sight – a whale doing a full breach. Completely forgot the camera, but then I wouldn’t have been able to focus it in time. It was wonderful though. So easy to get lost watching them pass by.

Having fun in the sun

Having fun in the sun

So, after messing up the publication of my poem yesterday, I apologise for being a tad miserable today. Too many figures, blurry eyes and headache, aching joints and my tummy doesn’t like me very much so I can’t sleep. I’ve borrowed my husbands magnifying glasses so I can see to type but it’s slow with all the mistakes. Time for dark shades again.

I’m heading back to my meditation to help me pull through. Morning always comes, doesn’t it, and this will not beat me. (I am woman hear me roar.) Later today I’m back on schedule for the next part of my search for answers – after my blood test that is! Pincushion time is still here. Ha!

Wishing everyone the days and nights you love, the love you want and the peace you deserve.  That’s what I’m focusing my meditation on for all of us.

Blessings. Susan x

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image from darkroaddesigns.com

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

People are strange creatures at times, especially where matters of the heart are concerned. It seems that when love comes knocking at the door, many times common sense, or self-preservation goes out the rear exit.  It’s a sad and potentially disastrous situation and I’m certain it’s the reason so many relationships appear to end up falling apart. It’s sad because it leaves behind pain, heartache and often wariness to let love enter again.

When we are young and feeling invincible we rarely want to take advice from our elders. Advice from our parents, who cannot possibly know what ‘we’ feel is simply ridiculous. So when things start to feel wrong, we are reluctant to approach them for advice. So who do we turn to? Often its our friends…. the same age, the same experience, the same lifestyle as we ourselves have. So we get the same level of advice as is currently running through our own minds. In the end, there is a struggle to make things work or your friends will support you as you try to get over the ‘break up’.

What a difference it would make if our lifestyle was more akin to that of our great grandparents. The family unit was closer. There was more communication and reliance on parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles even cousins to teach us the ways of life. With the spread (or breakdown) of the family unit, that cohesiveness has vanished and sometimes we are left without a support network of any kind. Divorces are commonplace and rarely amicable, with children losing a stability taken for granted in bygone times.

It seems there is no guide-book for life, we are meant to flounder along and either succeed or fail depending on how we manage to navigate the currents of life. So many people in pain. So many people who in trying to do the best they can become shadows of the people they could be. It’s a time when sub personalities become dominant as they try to protect the vulnerable “Inner Child” from being hurt more than necessary.

However a downside to this is the burying of emotions which need to be dealt with so that growth as a person can continue. If left buried these emotions can rise to the surface at unfortunate times and create havoc, possibly even ruining the opportunity to have a successful relationship. Understanding human relationships, reactions, emotional responses and even how men and women speak to each other can be invaluable and yet are ignored by our ‘education system’.

Recently I read about a couple in their middle years (fifties) who failed to understand how they related to each other, their communication styles, to the extent that a wonderful relationship failed. How much simpler if, instead of fostering the divisiveness between cultures, between people, we learned how to really speak to each other, irrespective of race, colour, creed or gender simply between one human being and another. (Think the “5 Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman, for example.)

It makes so much sense, could save so much heartache and save so much money on the need for interminable therapy later in life as we learn these lessons, if we could have been equipped with this knowledge as we began our solo journeys into adulthood. If everyone began by reading this one simple book, and I don’t for a moment believe it is necessarily the quintessential answer, it might, just might be a beginning to learning how to relate to one another in a more meaningful way.

Perhaps I’ve seen too many families broken apart, too many broken people to not want to try to remedy the situation if we can. There are too many books, experts who are willing to say they can teach people how to understand the secrets of language and behaviour between the sexes. Isn’t it worth a try? For ourselves as well as our children’s sakes?

Love and happiness are our birthright, not a lucky dip.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love


May happiness follow you all the days of your life. You are always loved.

Blessings, Susan x

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image from patcegan.wordpress.com

Have you worked out what makes you feel good? Where are you when you feel happy with the world, with the people you are with, when you are with yourself? Yes, that’s right, with yourself. If we cannot find that feeling of inner contentment when we are “with ourself,” when we are “looking within” and finding that “inner centre” which fills us with peace, then we have little chance of finding it elsewhere.

Of course there will be times when you feel all is well in your world. Things may be “In Flow” and you have this “warm and fuzzy” feeling which lulls you into a feeling of “She’s Right, Mate”.  So many little adjectives which we use to talk to ourselves and reassure ourselves that life is wonderful. All this ‘inner chatter’ is a form of “Voice Dialogue” first brought to light by Hal and Sidra Stone. If you are interested you can read more about it here, here and here. It is a fascinating subject.

In our search for peace and serenity we can practice finding and giving “Gratitude” to others and to ourselves. Once found it is not a simple matter to replicate. It takes repetition and dedication, plus a firm belief  that this is the way you wish to live your life, finding the good where we can and being grateful for the many Blessings in our lives.  However, if we persevere we find life becomes easier, the good we send out to others multiplies and comes back to us in wonderful ways. It makes sense of the trials and tribulations we may face.

Yes, this is the crucial point. No success is ever gained from doing something once. It must be repeated until it is an integral part of our existence. Our hearts expand as we are focused on the good and not worrying about the problems we face each day. Certainly problems will arise, problems which try incredibly hard to “Prick your Serenity Bubble”.

I know, because today was one of those days.

I have kept a journal, or diary if you are ‘old school’, for many years. However, for more than fifteen months a part of my journalling has focused on finding five, yes, just five things which I have been grateful for on that day. It doesn’t sound like very much, does it? Yet there are days when you can struggle to find one thing to be grateful for, especially if you have a run of difficult situations.

So was my day. I’m in my heavy meds week and the associated irritation from them to counter the bugs from Lyme disease is enough to dampen a lot of enthusiasm. However, I know I’m killing those little blighters and so I’m grateful, even if I feel wretched. Yet I had a number of appointments I needed to schedule and I’ve put it off long enough.  I had already spoken to these receptionists previously so that I knew what to ask for and when to schedule things to fit into my woefully limited day.  I mean, at the end of the day I am asking them to do some fairly nasty things to me, all in the name of science and better health!

The cost of good health is no small thing. In fact it can be damned expensive! So you can imagine my chagrin when I called to make the first appointment only to be told it was going to be much more expensive than we had previously been told.  Oh, we can claim it back later, but they want payment up front…. ARGGGH.  With a swipe of my cards they can claim their payment from Medicare, but Noooo, they won’t do that, all money up front, if you please and then, when you’re dragging yourself around, line up and claim your refund from Medicare.

The worst part of this….. you will be told to drop your claim in the box, or wait and hand it to a claims officer and they will deposit the money LATER in your account. Now, I’m not sure about you but that seems backward. If I’m going to be given my money back, and the hospital are being paid by Medicare anyway, why are they unable to do the waiting? They don’t have to run around when they feel like someone has been running them down with a Mack truck! Better yet, you are instructed that you are not allowed to drive, you must have someone to accompany you, drive you home afterwards and make sure they can keep an eye on you for a while.

Pardon me, I think I missed something here.  You cannot fight the establishment. You can try but it’s a waste of time. So breathe deeply, breathing in calm and contentment and breathing out the tension. Works wonders, doesn’t it, I feel better already.  I am grateful I managed to get an appointment before I burst a bubble.

image from people-equation.com

So, back to the phone and blow me down, but it was a repeat of the first one.  I cannot get an appointment to fit into my schedule and so it will coincide with a week when all I want to do is crawl into a bath full of water and epsom salts to stop the perpetual itch.  Add a couple more annoyances and irritations and my “Serenity Bubble” was bulging alarmingly.

My “Inner Critic” was fighting with my “Inner Child” who was upset with my “Warrior Woman” because rather than crying she wanted to “bust some chops” but the “”Controller” said NO!

My bubble wobbled and shook, it rolled and bumped around and after many deep breaths and peaceful music, and my Tibetan singing bowl, (you can hear them at this link) it steadied and shone in pride of place, centered in my heart, filled with Gratitude that, I had managed to get everything arranged and “In the fullness of time, all things being equal etc” all will fall into place.  (I have to confess to being a fan of “Yes Minister”, the above quote from Sir Humphries in that show.

So, to everyone who is handling setbacks and frustration, whose Serenity Bubble has a really wonky wobble, rest assured, you are not alone. Grab hold of that small thing you can be grateful for, the sun on your face, the wind in your hair, the smell of the ocean or the freshness of the forest, a babies smile, a warm hug, a cup of tea, a dogs cuddle and remember,  this can all happen tomorrow and you can overcome it again. Be grateful that you will be here to be grateful for another day.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
Lao Tzu

May your days be filled with serenity, with gratitude and the inner fortitude to find both. It’s worth it.

Blessings, Susan x

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“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.”   Arthur Ashe

After talking about sub personalities I was wondering if there was a better, more “close to home” example I could use to show how these sub personalities can be so helpful in our daily lives, and yes, they can be unhelpful also. Yesterday, that is precisely what happened.

I had been through an agonising night with my Lyme Disease, I thought, and it felt as though my right hip was being slowly pulled apart by red hot irons. Not terribly pleasant and definitely the stuff to keep you awake! I was most assuredly ‘The Victim’ of the tick/parasite, ‘The Predator’, and also ‘The Invalid’, as I achingly slowly trekked to the bathroom and back throughout the long night. I was finally trying to rest in bed. The bug ‘die off’ is painful and at times feels as though it is a never ending cycle. It isn’t, but ‘The Inner Child’ feels quite vulnerable.

Whilst no-one wants to be in an accident (‘Victim’), or to be in the position of seeing one (‘Witness’), sometimes you are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time or the right place at the right time. It depends on your perspective.

My husband, Ray (‘The Carer’), had brought a nice cup of Earl Grey tea and sat down for a reassuring chat. A nice comforting chat is always good for the soul and anything else which ails you.  Suddenly we heard that awful sound everyone automatically recognises, the dreadful squeal of brakes followed immediately by the heart stopping thud of two cars colliding.  This, right outside our house, close to the bedroom window.

We exchanged quick looks as he stood up to find out if he could see the accident, but unfortunately the hedge around the property completely blocked the scene. He dashed off to check things out. ‘The Protector’ had come out in both of us. Whilst he made a quick exit through the front door I shuffled up to the wardrobe and dragged out my dressing gown. Dressed in PJ’s, slippers and dressing gown I too headed out.

image from http://www.ebay.co.uk                    Comfy and cosy but not high fashion!

About now, everyone should realise the possible folly of this. Sans make up, something I NEVER do, and having a bad herx reaction I wasn’t fit to look after myself far less anyone else! None the less, “the calling” was there so I painfully shuffled past onlookers and seeing a couple of people around the car on the far side of the road, I went to the lady sitting alone inside the car closest to me. I don’t think I could have crossed the road but if the need had been there, I don’t doubt I would have done it!

“The Calling” is an inner pull which never goes and compels you to action; someone may have been hurt and I might be needed. I ‘knew’ Ray would be channeling ‘The Commander’, directing the rushing traffic coming over the crest of the hill. Despite a sign clearly indicating a cross road just before the crest, (why do Councils allow cross roads to be placed in such idiotic places?) cars were still coming over the hill at a speed dangerous to anyone standing there, far less an accident scene! By the way, that was ‘The Inner Critic’ passing comment on Councils.

There he stood, powerful and commanding. I could see the energy flowing from his hands as ‘The Commander’ waved in an imperious manner for the cars to slow down and stop – and they did! They stopped, then slowly made their way past the two cars which were pulled over onto the side of the road. A potential second accident was avoided.

image from dir.coolclips.com

Shuffling along I made my way to the nearest car and checked out the situation, ‘The Analyst’ realised that no-one was hurt, no blood, no broken bones. The driver, shaken and in shock, I moved between both ‘The Protector’ and ‘The Carer’ so that the driver I’ll call “Emma” could finally reach a state of relative calm and phone her son. Talking calmly is a great help in these cases. Her trembling stopped and she was able to speak to the Paramedics when they arrived.

The Paramedics became ‘The Professional Carers’ and also ‘Traffic Controllers’ as they positioned their ambulance van with lights flashing where approaching traffic could see and relieved Ray of that task.  Emma’s son arrived and  I too was relieved of my roles.

Ray gathered me up and started to half carry me back home. Away from the adrenal rush, the pain, sickness and discomfort came flooding back. I was more concerned with the Paramedics seeing me as the patient if my legs folded under me instead of the accident ‘Victims’, so I breathed a painful but relieved sigh when I reached my comfortable bed! Ray, ‘The Protector’ and ‘The Carer’ was once again taking care of Susan ‘The Invalid’.

image from blog.sequoiaseniorsolutions.com

Everyday occurrences can see the same exchange of sub personalities appear as they did when we attended this accident. If you pay attention you may also see sub personalities around you such as ‘The Office Bully’. ‘The Inner Child’, ‘The Organiser’,’The Pusher’, ‘The Pleaser’ and so on.

Integrating all these sub personalities is the work of Hal and Sidra Stone in Voice Dialogue and, in my opinion, is powerful.

If you are interested, read the following:

Which ‘me’ are you talking to?

A Day in the lives of…What’s Your Name?

A Day in the lives of…What’s your Name, Sir?

“The intellectual is different from the ordinary man, but only in certain sections of his personality, and even then not all the time.”     George Orwell

There are more examples to be found in the film genre – for another time.

Happy reading,

Bless, Susan  xx

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image from fineartamerica.com

“I’m talking to myself in two different personas now. I’m reaching for a full-throttle meltdown and why not? Why stop halfway? Why not just go for it, jump on and ride the wave?”
C.K. Kelly Martin, My Beating Teenage Heart

Communication – The way we talk to each other; the way we talk to ourselves, is a complex sharing of thoughts, words and feelings. It is influenced by not only how we are feeling, what we are doing or who we are talking to but more importantly who we are when we are talking.

No matter how straightforward we may appear to be to the outside world or to each other, we are a complex mix of personalities.  By this I do not mean simply personality traits but complete personas. You might almost say, with a degree of confidence, that at any given time you could be talking to a different person. Have you ever noticed or had that feeling when talking to someone? There are times when you feel that you simply don’t know who you are talking to because they seem so different from the one you are used to talking with.

Had and Sidra Stone, founders of “The Voice Dialogue”, (more about that in a later blog), identified hundreds of sub personalities within each person. Each of these sub personalities affords us the ability to handle or perform in certain situations. Just think of the stories you hear about the super human feat performed by people in dangerous situations, later they have no recollection of what they did or how the did it. In fact they often say that they could never imagine doing something like that since it is so far outside their normal ‘persona’. The person who runs into a busy street to save a child who has wandered into traffic, no thought for their own safety, this is an example of a sub personality suddenly ‘stepping in’ to do something which would be unimagined by this person under their normal circumstances.

Take a look at your life. Can you identify how many roles you have performed so far? We are each imbued with certain predetermined roles given our family dynamics.

As a child you are a son or daughter, brother or sister. These roles are carried with you throughout life and at times may be more dominant than at others. In the fullness of time there may be a change to husband or wife, or partner, and further to father or mother. Even with these changes you are still son, daughter, brother or sister.  If all falls into place there may be Grandfather or Grandmother.  These are the traditional and acknowledged roles.

In the matriarchal society we saw the changes for a female moved from maiden to mother and then crone. These changes were also closely tied to the wheel of life and the seasonal cycle of the year.

image from carolyn-thelongroad.blogspot.com

Yet no matter the time of year, the time of life or the relationship, the face we see in the mirror can reflect any facet of out personality, or sub personality.The person we forget about is YOU, the face who most closely represents the ‘true you”. Have you taken the time to find out who you really are?

Each of us need the time to become in tune with who we are, our inner dreams and desires, what makes our heart and soul come to life.  At times what stirs our hearts and minds will be different from those desires we once had.  Something else is compelling us to move in another direction. Have we changed or is another part of our persona begun to direct the story of our life?

Some of the sub personalities identified by Hal and Sidra are; The Inner Critic, The Protector, The Mother, Inner Child, The Enforcer, just to name a few.  Think of the film, “The Three Faces of Eve”, based on a true story where a woman was found to have clearly distinct and separate personalities dominant given certain circumstances. Eventually the doctors found many more than three personalities and we are no different – we simply control the extreme elements or sub personalities.

When we meet someone they remember us as who we are at that time and that is how they greet us when they meet us next time, regardless of where we are in life.

Voice Dialogue has been developed by Drs Hal and Sidra Stone since 1972. They have been active teachers of the method since that time. You can read more about these two extraordinary people at their Delos website.

Hal and Sidra Stone, Voice Dialogue Training, Melbourne 2002

“One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self; of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I look forward to talking to you, or you, or you at another time.

May all of you be happy.   Susan x

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