image from lightworkers.org The Angel of Acceptance
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu
Acceptance, such an easy word to say, an easy thing to recommend, but not always as easy to do. Without looking outside oneself for a moment, lets look at how we accept ourselves and our lives.
In good times it is relatively easy to be happy and content with life, to accept who you are, your life, which includes friends and family, to be content with your work or career and plan for the future. If there are bumps in the road it is usually fairly easy to steer your way through the hazard and arrive at your intended destination with a cheerful disposition. There are, of course, occasions when the bumps might be mountainous and you need the rely on family and or friends to get you over the hurdle. It may even happen that your destination gets changed and new and different options are suddenly brightening your horizon. It’s not all beer and skittles but its doable.
Yet, if life has thrown you a curve ball for which there could be no preparation or forewarning, how adept would you be at accepting that? All your plans, thoughts for the future, goals, hopes, dreams, torn asunder and you feel at the whim of fate. Family and friends alike seem to lose patience with you for not “Sucking it up” for not “Getting on with it” and “Getting a grip on yourself”. Even if they are still there you feel lost, alone, abandoned. You feel as though you are looking through a mask at the world or the world is looking at you through a mask, neither can see the other as they are.
To accept oneself in a situation where all you have known and loved, worked towards, planned for has been cruelly taken from you, is, I believe, a big ask. It takes time, time to learn how you, as you are now, fit into your new world view. It’s not easy having to ‘ask’ the very people who are part of your life to learn to accept you as you are now. There is a part of you, large or small, which resents having to change, resents having to ask people to accommodate those changes. In fact, it can be nothing short of a mammoth struggle.
It feels as if you are somehow diminished by something you haven’t asked for and do not want. It feels against the natural order to have to ask for ‘special treatment‘ or ‘acceptance‘ because you cannot be the person they have known thus far, that you are not the person they knew thus far. In fact you may desperately not want to be this person.
Yet, the changes are permanent or even semi permanent but you have no idea how long the change will be, you have to come to an understanding of the reality which is now yours. I have heard that the people around you have to make allowances for your changed behaviour, your mood swings, grumpiness and sadness at being unable to do all that you did with such ease and flair before. They may even avoid you. They may even stop seeing you completely because they don’t wish to accommodate those changes. The charitable people will call them ‘fair weather friends’.
Perhaps I haven’t learned to be so gracious yet since I simply call them – something much less charitable. Perhaps I’m still struggling with acceptance. It always seems to be a contradiction in terms. I cannot fail to accept the status quo since I cannot change it. I can, by dint of will and prayer, ask for help from my Guides, Angels, Spirit helpers, to allow me to understand why this is so and how I can manoeuvre my way through it. I can try to find a way to turn my topsy-turvy life around so it appears to have some semblance of cohesion. Whilst my days become nights and my nights become days and my social interaction is reduced to doctors, specialists and, by the grace of the Universe, my friends in cyberspace, I, whilst struggling within my cocoon, can continue to work towards acceptance.
I read recently that acceptance is “letting go.” To paraphrase the analogy, it was to allow the river of life to embrace you, as you are, to fall into its depths and allow your pain, your struggle, your everything to be subsumed by the gentleness of the river until you rise to the surface, renewed, the struggle released and acceptance of life ignited in your heart and soul. The wonderful idea of finding that peaceful acceptance is a glorious reward.
It would make the tears and anguish, the struggle have some meaning. It would bring the strength to continue to find new meaning, new ways to simply Be, be in the moment, be mindful, to allow that spiritual being to shine forth once more.
There is no guarantee that the bright spirit which began this journey is the one which will complete it. It simply means that the bright spirit whom you are will complete its journey in its human form. The struggle part of the journey which we chose before we arrived.
It may not be easy. I may need help for which I have to learn to ask. If that help is not found then I will need to look elsewhere. I am carrying the strength of my forebears, my ancestral family in spirit, and I know they will always be there if I can find no others to walk this path with me. They too can help me to learn to accept whatever my life offers me, with a grace and composure which may crack, but which will eventually lead me to my safe haven.
I will never be asked to do more than I can bear. I will never be asked to walk this path alone. I only need to see those who are with me and for this I am most grateful. It may have taken time for me to reach this understanding. I may slip from time to time, but acceptance will always be there for me. I simply need to understand that I am acceptable as I am and in that knowledge, peace is waiting.
image from ispygod.net “I am always there”
Acceptance, in its many forms, from both without and within, can be found, but only if we truly wish to find it. It may not be easy and a supportive environment and friends can make it much easier, but even alone, it can be done.
May we all find acceptance and peace. It is our birthright if we but take it up. With the right outlook and patience, even I will make it. With your help.
Many Blessings,
Susan xx
© Susan Jamieson 2013
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