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Archive for the ‘Spirituality’ Category

#guidancefortheweek

Guidance for the week

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes

This week I had a card which I pulled from the deck and also one which fell out as I was putting it down. So there are two parts to this week’s message. I feel they are both joined in their message and also can be read individually, since we can receive the information we need at any time and in various ways. Take from each or either as you feel it resonates within you.

 

The card which came up first was STRENGTH.

#guidancecfortheweek

“Strength”, Doreen Virtue, Life Purpose Oracle Cards

The first thing which caught my attention was the eagle soaring in the sky. To me, the eagle has always represented strength and determination. They are in many ways, the kings of the sky, and woe betide anything which crosses their path if they are in need of food.

The central figure is the beautiful horse with the angelic rider on his back. In some ways it was surprising to notice that it was a woman on the horse, but realistically, every card for STRENGTH I’ve seen always has a woman as the central human figure. She has her spear and shield and I feel armour we can’t see, since her helmet has both the ‘usual crested front’ and also a pair of wings. Her cloak billows out behind her as she sits her horse in front of this massive tree.

The card depict both grace and strength. I shows an alertness and awareness of what is happening around her and that she is prepared for anything. She has trained well and experienced whatever life has thrown her way and she is now in dominion of her surroundings and wherever her surroundings happen to be.

The card indicates that you have put in the hard work and whether you realise it or not, you are able to do whatever lies before you. You need to make the decision about which way you wish to go and have the courage of your own wise self to make it succeed.

There are no limitations to what you can tackle, it may be study, work or recreation based, all that is required is that you have to make the decision to go ahead and see it to the end. Not all things work out as we first envision- that doesn’t mean they are wrong for us, just different from our original idea.

The main message to take from this card is that you have the courage to succeed, take the first step and each will follow the next. It is always the first which seems the hardest.

“If you’re reading this…
Congratulations, you’re alive.
If that’s not something to smile about,
then I don’t know what is.”
― Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head

The card which fell out and wanted to bring a second message to us this week was ENVIRONMENTALIST.

#guidancefortheweek

“Environmentalist”, Doreen Virtue, Life Purpose Oracle Cards

When I look at this card I cannot help but feel the happiness which is there. She is beautiful, happy, filled with enjoyment. The wind blows through her hair, her clothes and fluffs out those gorgeous pink wings. Surrounded by a beautiful field of bluebells with wonderful trees behind her. She is at peace with her surroundings as well as one with them. Her world is filled with beauty.

Above her wing on the right side I see a nature spirit amongst the trees. At first glance it looks as though are two owls are hiding above her wing. All nature are her friends and allies.

Most of all when I look at this image, I get the feeling of being one with the earth and all her inhabitants. She is here to remind us to nurture the earth, the plants and animals and that we are the custodians of that task. Moreover it should be a joyous task for us to do this, since we are protecting all that is pleasing on the earth. Without a healthy earth, the plants and animals cannot survive and moreover, neither can we.

When I looked at both images together, what I felt from them made me feel even surer that they were linked in many ways. Today we are faced with shrinking land areas, which are essential for the survival of so many animals and plants. We are looking towards a future where many of the wonders of our age, of our parents and especially our grandparent’s age, are vanishing. From two hundred years ago until now, we can see the massive changes which have occurred, all in the name of progress or materialism.

I am not advocating cessation of progress, simply that our progress needs to take into serious consideration the need to protect the world we live in and all its inhabitants. To do this we need the strength we have built to survive to this point, harness it and proceed knowingly into the future. We can no longer sit idly by and claim it is someone else’s problem. We cannot allow the decisions to eradicate our world, the habitat of plants and animals primarily for the sake of the almighty dollar!

It takes great courage and strength to make that stand and the courage of our convictions to stand our ground and say” NO MORE!” If we truly wish to have wonders left on earth for future generations, and I can see no reason why we wouldn’t desire that, then we all must have the courage and strength to say “No More”.

So, if we are looking at showing strength and courage to forge a new change in life, or wish to further our commitment to our environment, both cards hold strong messages for the coming week.

#guidancefortheweek

Beautiful Orchids

Please know that wherever you are, you are always loved.

 

Blessings, Susan. ♥

 

©Susan Alexander 2015

©Susan Jamieson 2015

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“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is a new ” look”  from what you’ve been used to seeing from Owls and Orchids. The past two years, especially the past twelve months has seen many changes for me, more to come on that.
Yesterday I was led to draw a card, offering an insight into what we need to be aware of for the coming week. You must remember that this is my interpretation of this card and you must take what resonates only with you. The card which I drew was from the Messenger Oracle Deck – card 38:
“See the Signs”.

#signs, #guidance, #nature

See the Signs

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

If you look at the card it tells you all you need to know. We have Spirit around us, anywhere you can think of and from everywhere.
The Tree of Life is wrapped around us, cocooning us with the strength of Mother Gaia and nature spirits. You can see the face of man at the bottom, wrapped safely within the strength of the tree.
On his right hand is the beautiful golden lion, representing strength and wisdom. The male lion looks after his pride, is aware of any danger and protects them with his strength.
On his left hand is the black wolf, yet again showing us, we are protected by the immense strength and intelligence of the animal kingdom. Wolves are known for their connection to family and for travelling vast distances to do so.
We have the beautiful image of Lapis Lazuli above the man’s head. Lapis Lazuli, known for its ability to raise awareness and connection to Spirit.
Above this we have the representation of the spirit of the tree, of nature itself, whilst on either side are the beautiful butterflies, gold and purple; both of which represent the chakras and our connection with Spirit. This is strengthened by the Dove above the wolf’s head. Dove, representing Spirit.
Surrounding everything are the Sacred Geometry shapes.

@signs,#guidance, #nature

“See the Signs”

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.”
― Jim Morrison

With the many changes we have been going through since the beginning of the year this card tells us that we need to be aware of what is happening around us. It is more important than ever to see the signs and synchronicities which occur that we may not see them or their significance.
We are always in such a hurry to get from point “A” to point “B” that we rarely see what is happening around us. It is almost as if we were wearing blinkers – unable to see what happens unless it is directly in front of us. The energies we have all felt tell us to be aware of who and what we are – a Spirit in a human body and also to be aware of the world around us and what is in it. We have the opportunity to use these energies to raise our vibrations and move into a new paradigm.
This card is showing us that so many things are happening around us and we need to be more conscious of what we are doing as we go through our day, through our life. We need to “See the Signs” and use those signs to grow and make our lives better. Get out into nature and breathe deeply of the freshness, calm and ability to renew our inner self by breaking away from the rush and bustle of the everyday. It helps even if we can only do this for five or ten minutes, but longer is better.

Get in tune with your inner self and how the magic of nature and life can enable you to soar into new energies and experiences.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
― Harvey Fierstein

With love for everyone I know now, and will come to know in the future. My heart is big enough to encompass everyone, without judgement and with acceptance.

 

Bessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Alexander 2015

©Susan Jamieson 2015

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A #Cup of Tea and #Peace

Image courtesy soulevolutioncenter.com.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

It’s been almost two years since I really gave serious thought and enthusiasm to writing my blog. I’ve missed it. Yet, even though I missed it, I felt there were shackles holding me back. Not even holding me back, but crushing me into immobility and worst of all, silence. Whilst I will talk in later blogs about the past two years, today I’m just setting the stage and being totally honest, a rarity in many circles.

I had a rough night on Saturday night, sleepless until dawn, although I rarely speak of it.
During my wonderfully deep sleep, I had a dream. I was on a windswept beach, a house (where I lived) in the distance and the rolling waves of the ocean coming into the bay constantly. The emptiness of the beach didn’t matter, I felt so totally at peace that it was almost like an aphrodisiac. It felt almost as if it was drawing me to it. Am I meant to simply pack up and go searching for this Nirvana like place? The idea is incredibly attractive. However, the most important fact if all was the overwhelming thought;

“I CHOOSE TO BE AT PEACE.”

It seems that most of my life I’ve been searching for that simple thing – PEACE! All the “Self Help Gurus”, “Professional Development Gurus”, “Spiritual Gurus of New Age Spirituality ” had failed to help me reach that simple state – PEACE. Yet this little dream had shown me that it was there all along and the rolling waves of the ocean had rolled back the blocks preventing me from feeling amazingly at ease within myself. It cannot be found “out there “and all the guided meditations under the sun won’t get you there until you find “YOUR KEY”.

What was the “KEY?” For me it was simply “ALLOWING”.

Strange isn’t it, until you know that for the majority of my life I had struggled to control events in order to get through each day, each challenge, and each individual moment and appear to have everything “under control”. Being in control was the sole way of retaining my sanity, or so I thought. By “Allowing”, I was allowing whatever happened to simply happen and letting it flow past in the River of Life.

I also realised I had no need to try to save or change it. My Being does not require anything other than to BE. – I have no need to try to affect it in any way, other than to simply BE true to myself and allow peace to flow over and through me at all times.

A#Cup of Tea and #Peace

Orchids always peaceful.

Now I am able to release the past in truckloads. hurts from words or deeds, done or undone are flowing past in that River of Life. I can finally release the feeling of being crushed by the virulent attack by a supposedly Spiritually Advanced lady who called herself my “MENTOR” and “FRIEND” yet dumped on me without the courtesy of seeing or speaking to me. Her heart wrenching, demeaning words have been shown to be worth less than the air time it took to send me a text message on Face Book. The accusations she accepted so readily shown to be lacking in truth, honesty and respect.

That said, thanks to her words and wounds, I have plagued and tormented myself enough by what she said, trying to understand who could have said something to make her change her opinion of me when I have known her for twenty years. Known her and shared my private information with her during a psychic session which was used to rip me apart.

Yet now it’s gone. PEACE has been granted by a higher power and I am deeply grateful for that. Universal Laws have a way and means of correcting everything. She, the apparently undisputed Authority on all things Metaphysical, “HAS NO POWER OVER ME.”

A #Cup of Tea and #Peace

Image by fantasy-wallpapers-blue-dress.jpg

“When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?”
― Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog

So, after all the hurt and pain she helped create over these past two years, I can say I am at peace. Peaceful and Content. If she should happen to see tis, or hear of it, and is able to honour her invitation – “A cup of tea at my table at any time”, then I would be delighted to accept. After all, she offered that and more several times at least.

“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”  ― Fred Rogers

Know that you are always loved.

Blessings,

Susan ❤

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#BellaBellaBellaIloveYouToo

“We must give more

In order to get more.

It is in the generous giving of ourselves

That produces the generous harvest”. … Orison Swett Mardes

 

For three days now I have planned on being at my computer, having done my morning meditation and my journal, ready to start the day writing. Of course I am referring to that wonderful quote by Robert Burns:

“The best laid schemes of mice and men”.…. Robert Burns

Meaning “The most carefully prepared plans may go wrong.”

Origin

From Robert Burns’ poem To a Mouse, 1786. It tells of how he, while ploughing a field, upturned a mouse’s nest. The resulting poem is an apology to the mouse:

#BellaBellaBellaIt'Love

“But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane [you aren’t alone]

In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promised joy.”

The poem is of course the source for the title of John Steinbeck’s 1937 novel – Of Mice and Men. Whilst I find the language a trifle hard to read these days I also find it soothing on the ear, especially if a kindly Scot would read them to me.

I have refused to say these words, or even think them, in my practice of the Law of Attraction, and only bring the positive into my life and what I am doing. So far it is working and my everyday life is filled with happiness and almost miraculous occurrences. Yet, even with the best of intentions I haven’t made it in to my computer to get my blog done. I try to remember how I did it before and I remember two important things.

  • I was really ill and the ONLY thing I did with my day, apart from the mandatory shower and dress to pretend I was human, was the writing of my blog.
  • I didn’t have a small bundle of joy who has taken it upon herself to sit on my lap as I try to type.
#BellaBellaBellaIt'sLove

Bella, the gardening Guru! She loved the long grass so did the snakes!

“Winning is not a sometime thing:

It’s an all-time thing.

You don’t win once in a while,

You don’t do things right

Once in a while, you do them right all the time.

Wining is a habit.

Unfortunately, so is losing.” – Vince Lombardi.

Bella the beautiful, Bella the coffee dog and Bella full of loving cuddles and sharp, sharp teeth, has taken over my time. Taken over my life and I love it!  All my time! Okay, I’ll admit it, she was the biggest gift the LOA has sent to me and it has indeed filled my world with a beautiful and new kind of love. The unconditional love of an animal for a human. Or is she loving the human? Or Spirit? Or both?

I have watched her as we go out to the shopping centres and coffee shops, as she  sees someone with a bright shining aura, often with spirits around them. If they come too near she becomes fidgety and someone times tries to avoid them, yet I’m convinced she is seeing spirits. Why not? She was present when my husband’s Uncle passed away recently, and after only two brief visits, she cried piteously as his spirit was passing. Immediately I saw him leave she quieted down as if nothing had occurred.

Strange but true.

#BellaBellaBellaIt'sLove

It has also happened at home. The lights will begin their dance and electrical appliances their light show, often the television at news time (ouch says Ray), and she will begin staring at an area, with such a fixed look, that I know she is seeing someone. Frequently I see a shape or catch a glimpse of someone, but it seems Bella the beautiful, of the sharp teeth, has an acute sense for Spirit activity, It’s not surprising, there have been numerous tomes written about the psychic ability of animals.

So, until my assorted migraines which rip into my skull like hot knives through butter accompanied by the kaleidoscope of multi-coloured and super bright lights whirling around my head and the periphery of my vision, decide to subside, my gallant 1.5kg nurse and companion, will be my permanent guest, wherever I am. That being said, the nasty Nazi Shopping Centre guards officiously asked us to remove ourselves, and the offending pooch from the shopping centre. Hilarious if you could have seen the silent little head, just poking out of the bag she is carried around in.

We complied of course. It seems Redland Bay is not as laid back and accepting as Byron Bay or the trendy coffee shops of Teneriffe and New Farm. That is what I have been told since then, so we will, in due course, have to find out. Like the “Pied Piper of Hamlin” we leave the centres with our stream of young children all waiting patiently to stroke the tiny bundle of love.

#BellaBellaBellaIt'sLove

Alas, my cross-eyed gaze coupled with my already pounding gyroscopic coloured balls of light in my vision have decreed my story must remain short’

Here is a lovely quote I read at least once a day to keep me motivated.

#BellaBellaBellaIt'sLove

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.

I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them

and try to follow where they lead.” – Louisa May Alcott

 

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

 

 

 

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#TheOnlyChoice

It was close to dawn

The air frosty with a bite that went to the bone

She had on only a thin cotton dress

The only other had been left at home

Home, what was that but a place to sleep

Somewhere to eat and feel less than wanted

A house that was nothing more than a roof over her head

One she no longer wanted nor cared for.

She knew he would be looking for her soon

The man who was her fleshly husband

Searching quietly through each room

Anger would flare when he found her missing

This, her only chance to flee

Giving her a real choice to be

That which she really was

A noise behind her alerted her to dawn

The search for her had commenced

She could stay no longer

The dress, irrelevant in but a few more moments

The sun began its lukewarm climb over the horizon

Pale crimson and gold fingers pointed over the land

She stood tall and raised her hands to the sky

Towards the power of the winter sun

Taking a deep breath

She drew the energy of the sun into her heart

Shaking loose long auburn hair

Ready to take her part

In the distance she heard a forlorn howl

Her form writhed sinuously

Energy coalesced around her

Blurring the outlines of her human form

Once dissipated there stood a sleek wolf

Her hair a deep auburn colour

Lifting her head she howled joyously

The sound being joined by the other, closing swiftly

As they met, jumping with abandon around each other

They nuzzled each other happily

Shouts behind them from the house

Disturbed their welcome of each other

Bright sherry coloured eyes gazed knowingly

Together they loped off quickly through the forest

Her prison shattered for the last time.

#TheOnlyChoice

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

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#NighttimeRambles

Enter the land of possibility….. sleep

“Even a soul submerged in sleep is hard at work and helps make something of the world.”
― Heraclitus, Fragments.

Night-time, the time of dreams and restful sleep. Except it doesn’t always work out that way. So went the ramblings of a sleepy eyed and sore body this morning. Since I was awake, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to share a few moments with you. I do hope you join the perhaps somnambulant yet also clear thoughts, thick with the night’s happenings, of this person you might recognise. Since they are one and the same, and it is I, then I hope so. You may laugh, cry and ponder the imponderables from  these ramblings.

 “It was that sort of sleep in which you wake every hour and think to yourself that you have not been sleeping at all; you can remember dreams that are like reflections, daytime thinking slightly warped.”     ― Kim Stanley Robinson, Icehenge

There have been so many nights of late when sleep seems hard to hold onto. I can’t really explain why each time, and yet each time seems perfectly reasonable. I go to bed thinking of someone who is ill or having a hard time, and I spend the night in their company. I practise my Spiritual Healing and pray for their night to be easier. So many nights and so many people, friends, relatives, strangers I’ve merely heard about. I am transported on the back of a huge Powerful Owl and taken to where I am needed. Do I mind this broken sleep which leaves me exhausted and trembling? After the exhilarating rush from my magical Owl ride, well it’s time to “do my thing”.

#NighttimeRamblings

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”   ― John Lennon

No, I never waste time considering this. I am privileged, and have always felt privileged, to be able to help in some small way, even if the person knows nothing of it. To me that is the blessing of being a healer, a Shaman, and a wielder of magic, as someone who cares about the world and all who live in it and the world itself. It is what I agreed to do when I entered this earthly coil, as a Spirit in Human form. I learn still about my place here on earth, but I work as I can, use my “magic’ and healing to aid those I am called to. Silently, and frequently with no-one the wiser that I have been involved in guarding their night’s sleep, their healing, or eased their passing. Such is as it should be, and will remain. This talk perhaps should never be, yet I have been absent so long, and this part of the reason why.

#NighttimeRambles

“Thus fortified I might take my rest in peace. But dreams come through stone walls, light up dark rooms, or darken light ones, and their persons make their exists and their entrances as they please, and laugh at locksmiths.”
― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla

 There are times when these night-time travels feel more like descents into horror as I work “my magic” attempting to bring some ease, some solace to those in pain, to the earth which shudders in agony. Mother Nature, Gaia, cries for release from the agony mankind inflicts on her.

At present there is yet another Cyclone wreaking havoc north of Australia … more people suffering, dying, their cries loud in my ears, reverberating in my heart. Who am I to turn away from these? What is a night of broken dreams, these I can easily make up later? Forgive my ignorance of geography… it has always been my downfall and yet it never stops me being taken by the hand, a Guardian Angel or my Guides and taken to where I might be helpful. I am humbled that I am able to be called and fulfil my part in this day, this night, these pain filled moments.

 #NighttimeRamblings

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist

 Yet last night was strange. Time after time I was hurled from sleep feeling that I was twisting on the end of a heavy rope, slowly choking, and my breath a whisper in my ears.

Perhaps that would have been alright but for the intense pain in my neck, as though I had, in reality and not my otherworldly dimension, been swinging from some gallows tree. Perhaps I was caught in the storm wrack wreckage, and suffocating in some other way. Morbid and difficult thoughts to lull one back to sleep. Was I in the present or the past? Does it matter at the moment? I find that once I have managed to get some real sleep I can, often with little difficulty, work out the real from the tempest tossed nightmares.

#NighttimeRambles

Even amidst the pain and suffering there are lessons to be learned. My trusting warm bundle, curled in my lap, reassured me that the day is like many others. Bella, my little love wrapped saviour, sighs contentedly as I type. Is this a simple sign that I am doing the right thing?

Dogs, indeed most animals have an almost uncanny ability to detect when something is wrong and lend their own love and support. Not just to me but to those I help. She cried piteously when my husband’s Uncle passed away recently. She now sits watch, guarding me whilst she sleeps so peacefully, yet awakens within a moment if she senses anything amiss.

#NighttimeRambles

“No matter how much you cry, the tears will dry. No matter how many nightmares, flashbacks, visions, or terrors you endure, they will pass. To weather these in order to find your true self and the happiness you deserve, that is not a risk. To waste the time you have in this body, never showing your soul to yourself or anyone else, living in fearful misery – that is really the most dangerous thing you can do.”
― Vironika Tugaleva, The Love Mindset

So I must believe that I am doing all the things I should. Healing where I may with the gifts I have been given. Quietly and unobtrusively, without fanfare or applause. Perhaps the time will come when these stories can be told. If the time arrives and t serves its purpose then share them I shall, but until then they remain the vague reasons for my absence and the increasing pull towards my bed. My wonderful bed, to catch up on the restful sleep the body needs to continue the work Spirit has asked of me and I have readily agree. I am no-one special. I am simply one more Spirit on this earth bound place who is learning how to be silently useful when I am called.

#NighttimeRambles

May your nights be restful and safe. May I be there should you need me or you call. May our journeys commence at each day break.

 

Blessings, Susan. ♥

© Susan Jamieson. 2015

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#IamYouAre (more…)

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#PuppyRules

“In our heart love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation; it comes in times of frustration or desperation. So when you feel it and have it, don’t let it go because it’s hard to find love.”   Author unknown

 

#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.”   Dean Koontz, False Memory

Some seven weeks ago I was thrilled to finally receive my beautiful, bouncing, bundle of joy! Now before anyone who knows me becomes convinced I am finally ready for a place on the funny farm, let me explain. My bundle of joy is a beautiful Mini Fox Terrier called Bella. She is a bouncing bundle of joy in every sense of every word. I am convinced that at times she truly has springs in her legs as she bounces beside me filled with mischief or glee.

My long wait for her has taken me through many a strange journey. I was determined after I lost my last dog, another Mini Foxie, Rusty, almost seven years ago, that I would never have another dog. He had been my constant and faithful companion for over eighteen years. He had been my confidant and protector for all that time and when he passed, peacefully, the heartbreak was more than I could handle. He was a part of my family and had seen me through some of the worst times in my life, thus far.

 

#PuppyRules

Looking for trouble – “Mum, Are you sure I can’t pull something out?”

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Yet there was always that feeling of emptiness. The odd feeling that something was missing and more and more often, I found myself detouring into pet shops and gazing wistfully at the puppies. Finally I couldn’t fail to understand the message, Rusty was telling me it was time to find another friend. So the search began.

I scoured the rescue refuges and came away more disheartened by the week. It seems that in Queensland the only dogs not centenarians, by dog standards at least, were the size of horses. Really! Wolfhound x Staghound cross, Staghound x Rhodesian Ridgeback cross, Wolfhound x Ridgeback cross and on and on. They would be gigantic and in the city was no place for a huge dog. Not only that but I knew they would break my back (slight exaggeration only) as soon as they pulled on the leash.

I began to wonder if I was meant to have a dog at all as I began searching for breeders and could find none. When I did, no puppies for the foreseeable future. It appeared all the females were being given a break from breeding at the same time. Was this a message to wait longer?

Now, whilst this may sound out-of-place, I realised that this delay was simply another example of “Divine Timing”. When the right puppy was there for me I would find him or her. Conversely, as it occurs to me now, when I was absolutely ready then the right dog would be there for me.

Bella was born on November 5 last year, an odd date for me since it always brings back memories of Bonfire night and the Gunpowder Plot in England.

 

#PuppyRules

“I love you, Mum”

 “Not a single creature on Earth has more or less right to be here.”   —  Anthony Douglas Williams

At nine weeks of age she barely covered my two palms, a truly small bundle of joy. Yet she filled my heart with a deep protective love and when she curled up on my lap, trusting and filled with love, I could deny my ‘baby’ nothing. Well within reason. I could almost hear Rusty telling her of the mischievous things he did and which she copied so faithfully. Running off with my slipper and hiding it where I would find her curled up asleep! The beautiful peep show as she pretended to be asleep and not hear me. It felt as though a part of my heart was suddenly swelling with this amazing joy and happiness. I was so grateful I had waited as long as I had.

 

#PuppyRules

Bella, the gardening Guru!

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”    ― Lao Tzu

Little Bella, who at 16 weeks weighs just 1.6kg with harness and lead dangling, had her final vaccination two days ago. St the vet’s insistence she was also given the 12 month heartworm vaccine. Having seen what heartworm can do to a dog I am in favour of the vaccination, previously done by monthly tablet. But she is still very small and was due one vaccination already. My concerns were overridden with a peremptory “Yes, she could have had this at 12 weeks!”

Since she had my precious cargo already clutched in her hands, it felt as though I was a hysterical “mother”. Bella had her two vaccinations and nails clipped before being returned to us looking very agitated. When we reached the car and I settled her on my lap her tiny eyes drooped shut immediately. Her head was like a ball of molten lava and the red hue of her temperature was livid through her short fur.

Bella has been almost “out of it” for two days, barely drinking and vomiting anything we attempted to feed her. This of course was after the three, almost projectile vomits after the vaccination.

I realise I sound melodramatic but thus tiny bundle has tied her chains around my heart as surely as Rusty had. If anything should happen to her… it would feel like losing a member of my family. She is a member of my family. So whilst I have done little bits here and there to this I’ve been preoccupied with her.

“Love lets no connection between you become stronger than you allow it.” -Susan Jamieson
#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.”
Milan Kundera

I am a dog lover and I love my dog. In that I am unashamed. I hope you understand my story and my quick disappearance again.

 

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

 

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#TimegoesBy #LifeLesson

Golden Sorceress, Golden Dragon

 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” –Mary Anne Radmacher

It was never my intention to stop writing. Yet time rolls by like a river, never stopping and sometimes sweeping all in its path. Whether by intention or design I have been absent and I cannot say that I have been overwhelmed by vastly important things.

Each day I lament that another day has passed and no word had been placed on paper, no post scheduled, nothing mapped out for future comment. Simply the majestic revolution of the earth and the passing of time as it always has since the earth began. Each day I would ask myself “Why?” I would ask my Guides, “Why?” Silence was my reply.

Life continued. This beaten up hulk simply shrunk further into herself, asking the same questions…. “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” “What am I supposed to do?” I also asked myself if I was failing or was this meant to be. Apparent silence was my answer. Yet the need to communicate was still there, I simply lost faith in myself that I have anything to say which anyone would find interesting.

I learned that even if no-one else found my words interesting, it was important that I put them “out there”, for my benefit if for no-one else. After all, I had begun my blog, not with the intention of garnering a large audience, not even if anyone else was going to listen to what I said, and so I tried to gather my courage from the far reaches and start once more.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

soulevolutioncenter.com.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since it is important, I need to answer a simple question – Why did I stop writing at all? It wasn’t simply that I lost faith in myself as a writer, or that people didn’t want to hear what I had to say. It was, in fact, the belief that I was somehow a fraud. Why should that make a difference for after all, writers make up their stories for a multitude of reasons? They receive critical comments which may be soul destroying yet they continue because they believe in themselves.

Told I was lost in my “victimhood” and people were bored with the story, the negativity and complaints had to stop. I was devastated. Victimhood? How had that come up? It hadn’t I believe, and yet the comment was true. I was and am a victim and the comment, true though it was, hurt more than I had been prepared to hear. I was blindsided by it. I knew, deep inside that I was drowning in my life and internally complained about my lack of growth towards a better future. Only two people were aware of these facts, and only one made this statement.

Like most when faced with such a needlessly cruel attack at the time and place this occurred, I needed the question answered. Who said these things and how could they know what had occurred?

The bald truth! I had been an abused wife and stupidly had failed to recognise it like so many others. Yes, I’d spoken with professionals and remained as lost as I had before I’d spoken with them. Friends? I had none and even now I have only a small few. Trust is a hard commodity to offer. It’s true, it leaves you negative and perhaps, deep down, a complainer, yet I hoped, believed, I kept it locked away. I know I didn’t talk about it since I find it shameful and embarrassing.

Perhaps worst of all, this lightning bolt of understanding occurred at a time when I was struggling with the death of my mother. Even she had been told only bare brushstrokes of the circumstances, which still leave me feeling ill and ashamed.

 #TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I would appreciate the opportunity to know and understand where the criticism came from. I would be grateful for the understanding of how to move through this to a happier place, untroubled by these thoughts. Yet, there is one further aspect to this “victimhood” which I have kept hidden.

The one person I expected to protect me, let me down. I went from being a self-sustained person with sufficient means to ensure a comfortable life to someone who has to fear losing my home, at any moment. The small amount of money I had in a Superannuation account, which was not to be “violated” is bleeding.

I feel trapped and alone. I feel as if I’ve been duped and conned and I have no-one to talk to. There is no easy exit. Can I create a new life of some kind? I am so tired, so despairing of making yet another mistake that I am frozen in place. This is where I’d prayed my Guide would help me to learn and grow. The pain of that one sentence reverberates daily.

Look to the future…..that is so difficult.

If “you” do read my words, I pray that you have the time and grace to let me know exactly where I “went wrong” at that time. How do I put all this behind me and move forward – alone – since I no longer feel that I can ask for your help? I trusted you. You gave me an unbelievable gift. You failed to see it but I was so overwhelmingly grateful that my paltry words and gestures of thanks went unnoticed.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You have been there” which is why you understand. I wonder if you had someone to help you get through it? Family? Sisters, father, mother? I have none. No-one!

I’ve listened. As a “wake up call” it was like a fishwife gutting the catch. Clinically efficient. Yet still I read your posts first each day. Rubbing more salt into a raw wound. Yes, I pray, I meditate and ask for guidance. I also ask for a Mentor to offer to guide me through this so that I can take my place in the world. The place I know I own and belong in. You taught me that.

In the immortal words of David Bowie (Labyrinth), “Life can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.”

As always I shall admire you for all you have been through, and wish that you could be the Mentor I was supposed to find. Until then I will do the best I can do. Is that not what we are asked for? Being the best version of ourselves that we can?

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons
colourful bejewelled dragons  

 “There are times in my life when I have been medicine for some while poison for others. I used to think I was a victim of my story until I realized the truth; that I am the creator of my story. I choose what type of person I will be and what type of impact I will leave on others. I will never choose the destructive path of self and outward victimization again.”

Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Let’s see how it all plays out.

Blessings, Susan. ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

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#TheTruthInside

Image courtesy of http://www.yummy-wakame.com

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
C. JoyBell C.

 

It’s no particular secret that I’ve been missing for a wee while. In itself that’s an amusing understatement. In point of fact I haven’t written anything myself since around May. That’s deliberately vague since I don’t really want or need to be reminded that I’ve left everything for so long.

I’ve had many ideas for blogs, written them out in beautiful prose, all in my head and nary has a word made it onto the blog. I’ve even begun any number of items but they’ve never reached the ‘birthing’ stage. Why?

There are a number of reasons, but the main one is simply that I felt my words were irrelevant and not worthy of taking up anyone’s time. That too raises a question, why should I think that? After all, whether anyone reads this or not, is in some respects, not the point of the exercise. Certainly, it’s more than nice if it appeals to someone, preferably several someones. Let’s face it, I haven’t lost my sense of pride, just belief that what I say, counts.

After we moved from Byron to Redland Bay I was overtaken by another bout of “what ails me”. I knew that in time it would go away. Yet I was unprepared for how long it would hang around, zapping me of energy, motivation and ultimately belief in who I was and what I was doing. It destroyed my peace and kept me anchored in pain.

#LifeCycles

The Duck Pond

Then I attended a wonderful retreat. I could hardly believe my good fortune. I could barely scrape myself out of bed before mid-afternoon each day and here I was agreeing to a program which meant I needed to be out of bed before 7am and eat breakfast – (what, food before mid-day?) so that I could start the program by 9am. None of this sounds very onerous, yet it was a huge challenge, one I was willing to push past all my boundaries in order to attend.

Things didn’t turn out quite the way I’d hoped. I upset someone, perhaps several someones and it was extremely upsetting. I was on the brink of returning home, simply because I didn’t want to ruin the event for everyone else, as it had been ruined for myself. Attempts to apologise (for what I didn’t know I had done), went horribly wrong and someone I admire greatly, who is (was?) a mentor, appears to be not now speaking to me. At least I must suppose so since my attempts to communicate have passed silently with the passing of the days. I still hope but I don’t know.

However, all the above is 2014 and now it is 2015. The energies have turned and not one thing, but everything has now changed. We, all of us, have entered a new phase. All the heavy and argumentative energies we have struggled with for the past several years have now gone and we have entered a lighter, freer period. People will change as the energies have changed. I have changed.

#MagicalPower

Clourful bejewelled dragons

Like all things throughout history, change occurs whether we will it to be so, or not. These changes are exciting and have given rise to much planning and proposal – No – I’m not getting married, divorced, separated or having a baby! I’m so pleased that’s out of the way!

There is a new website planned and a new ‘persona’ and blog. It will be good for me and for you also. I read a blog two days ago about a “Power Word” rather than a resolution, resolutions which are rarely followed. I chose two words, Attract and Create. They both fit and I’m working on a phrase to link them and yet I know I have no need to do that.

So, I’m back, in the nicest sense of the word, and I will Create blog posts as often as I can whilst I Attract what I need to Create the new website. You will be able to see it when I have Created it and its first blog.

Happy Days Everyone! Happy 2015.

May all your Blessings come to be.

#MagicalPower

Golden Sorceress, Golden Dragon

 “Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass – to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.”
Anthon St. Maarten

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

 

 

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