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Posts Tagged ‘Change’

#Inecapable Time

Time’s miraculous passage through our lives. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

“The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not”…. ~Thomas Carlyle

It seems at one and the same time, absolutely incredible that not one month, nor two but almost three months have passed since I last wrote a post for Owls and Orchids. It has never been very far from my mind, yet there seems to have been a never-ending stream of events, of things, which needed to be done, or attended to and the days were gone before I knew it.

In some ways it was always going to happen, I simply didn’t think it would be such a long time. I made a promise to myself, that after the previous fourteen month of drug imposed restrictions that I was going to do as much as I could, to get the move from New South Wales to Queensland done – MY WAY!

Perhaps that was where things began to unravel. I was, at that time, still in a lot of pain and felt indescribably wretched from the copious amounts of antibiotics still in my system. My release from the Lyme induced prison had not yet relinquished its hold on me, even if I had been given the “all clear” that I did not, in fact, have, nor ever had Lyme disease. That alone sent my mind into dizzying circles, from which it was often hard to extricate myself. Yet, we had the move to our new home to arrange and I refused to sit, or lay, idly by whilst the hectic work revolved around me.

The new place in Redland Bay was a delightful enticement after the disappointments of Ocean Shores. I would miss the view of the ocean, but in reality, I had been ensconced in my four square prison and only intermittently was able to get outside to see and enjoy it. The irony is not lost on me that I have exchanged, what was supposed to be a location, filled with ocean views, fresh air, healthy and relaxing, for one which is, well, almost suburbia. I say almost, because we are a little off the beaten track, just in a small pocket of civilisation where I can access the dreaded pharmacy, much more easily visit my doctor and, a five-minute stroll arrive at a beautiful water enclosure, boardwalk, trees and filled with all manner of bird life and the occasional kangaroo and wallaby. We have yet to visit the spot where the wallabies come out in early morning and evening to get some photos – but, all in good time.  The camera has yet to be downloaded of all its photos!

 

Falling in with the packing! Image courtesy of busybeingfabulous.com

But – THE MOVE! An interminable number of boxes seemed to parade in front of me daily, each filled and taped to be replaced by another. This, after having decided not to unpack the majority of our belongings, as we felt uncomfortable within moments of getting the keys at Ocean Shores.

I achieved more in that last month than I had for the previous fourteen. I found muscles which had been hammered in the forges of medical experimentation and proclaimed loudly their new abuse. Yet it was also a good feeling. I felt once more, that I was finally achieving something worthwhile. Time seemed, not an enemy, but a friend again.

The relocation was tiring and time-consuming  as they usually are. The large spaces we had seen were rapidly engulfed by more and more boxes as the truck was unloaded. Daily more boxes were unpacked as homes for their contents were found – and yes, I was deciding where things were to be housed. It was a glorious feeling, knowing that I was arranging my kitchen, my clothes, my books, all the many things which make a house into a home. I was doing all those things once more. No longer would I wander around the house, wondering where something had been stored because I hadn’t unpacked it. Time had regained its orderly flow once more. In control and loving it – or so I like to believe. And no, I don’t believe control is the big baddy it has been made out to be.

 

#Inescapable Time

I saw time slipping away as I rushed through each day. Image courtesy of mariana-a.deviantart.com

“Time is a very healing place, one in which you can grow.” ~Denise Tanner

Yet herein I also found my obsession again. That indefinable and inseparable part of myself which wanted everything to be placed “just so”. As things took shape around me I found a greater impetus each day to keep going, despite the increasing pain, to forge my new home into the vision I had for it. Boxes have an amazing array of hard edges and corners, a depth to them which defies normal reach and I found myself entrapped and attacked by the capriciousness of cardboard!

An unfortunate three weeks with a heavy cold cramped my style in ways I hadn’t foreseen. Frustration ran rampant, as I looked with growing dislike at the small number of boxes I had unpacked each day. This was in no way helped by an officious and supercilious doctor, who decided she knew me, my condition and what I needed more than I did after a mere five-minute consultation. So much for a simple script for antibiotics to cure the chest infection, and pain meds to help me “soldier on”. Meds I should add, which I showed her I had been prescribed by my doctor and had taken for some time. She promptly decided to re write my medication needs and refused to give me the pain meds at all. – If I’m suffering now it must be due to the uncomplimentary names I called her for several days after this visit. Needless to say, I won’t be visiting her again!
So, here we are finally. I still have my crystal display case to unpack and sort out, but that is the final item. I really prefer to leave all those fragile and sentimental items until everything else is in place. But, I’m here, and with the help of Spirit, life can begin in a new and more delightful way than ever.
Time passes and new things are found in unexpected places. Obstacles will be overcome and life can take its new path. The delights of the newly discovered will once more be mine.

 

#Inescapable Time

Carried away on Unicorn dreams. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

 

“Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new… but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?” ~Paracelsus

Blessings, Susan

© July 2014 Susan Jamieson

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“Small steps may appear unimpressive, but don’t be deceived. They are the means by which perspectives are subtly altered, mountains are gradually scaled, and lives are drastically changed.”
Richelle E. Goodrich

Life is not static, it is constantly changing, constantly moving. To say anything different is to say that life is no more, life becomes death. This simple idea is identical whether it be applied to humans, animals, the environment or the inanimate parts of our world. Even the inanimate must change as time passes so who are we to say there is not ‘some kind of life there’? It even applies to the smallest of organisms making up our own bodies and the universe.

Over the period of our own history our world has changed dramatically and not all of it has been for the good. The same can be said for human beings. We have achieved an upright posture, our brains have grown and we utilise more of it than ever before. Yet, apart from the passing of time, the smallest cells of our body has remained the same as it once was.

Each cell must work in harmony with each other or the organism fails. If one cell becomes ‘diseased’, it fails, and in time the entire organism, the body could die. A single cell can start this process. One cell failing can bring down an entire universe of cells. One simple cell is so powerful. Where else can we see something so small with so much power, something which has not been made for mass destruction by human beings?

If one single cell is so important why has there not been more research into how to protect it or better still, how to allow it to progress into a greater state of being?

There has been much diverse discussion and debate over the latest and most controversial study of stem cell research. Controversial or not, it is the only research which is focused on the cells themselves, and not simply removing the diseased cells but assisting the ‘failing’ cells to regenerate. To fix themselves, To grow themselves. Controversial it may be yet it is one of the few attempts to use the single unit of the cell to help our cells to heal themselves.

From destruction to a new paradigm of healing. Could this be the next step in our evolutionary growth?

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Apple Inc.

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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image from vgiselleh.deviantart.com

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”
Paulo Coelho,

I realise that I could talk at length about either attitude, gratitude or change so to add them into one title is possibly presumptuous.  However, it is only when we consider that each is, in many ways inextricably linked with the other that it makes sense, one might even say it becomes rational.  There has been volumes already written and spoken about all three, but what I would like to do is use each and put it into context in what happened yesterday.  My reasoning is simple, it was a lesson for me and may, in some small way, make sense for someone else.

Anyone who reads my blogs will realise that there is a cycle to my writing, I can be anywhere on a sinus wave, in the trough, climbing to the peak, at the crest or falling back towards the depths.  I thought, for a while at least, that this was because I wasn’t handling things, life, my situation well enough.  It’s so very easy to fall into that way of thinking. After all, who am I that I can say that I alone affect every aspect of my complex existence? I am Susan Jamieson in all my simple and complex existence and I love to share my thoughts through by blog, Owls and Orchids.

I have to interact with others, their situations and lives each day and by extension, these events have some impact on my day, my feelings. Learning how to prevent that will be a topic I can discuss when I have “all my little ducks lined up”. Yes, a project in the planning I am going to delight in sharing later.

Yesterday was going to be a big day – at least for me. After months of doing only the absolutes, what was needed to see doctors, specialists and people who have seen more of my insides than I ever will, to plan a day doing the little but fun things for ourselves was a golden day.  Yet, there was a small hiccough in the plan – it was hot! Glorious, gorgeous sunshine, the giver of life, was going to be raising the temperature, and mine also. It would be a test.

“Cool Change”, by Little River Band, a favourite for a long time. Why these lyrics should suddenly pop into my mind I have no idea, yet they were firmly cemented in the back of my mind. At odd times parts of the lyrics would suddenly be there. Then I realised what it was.  The snippets which kept coming back to me were telling me that my attitude to whether it was hot was, in fact, the very thing which was screwing my thoughts around. I was in an air-conditioned car and very comfortable. Everywhere we had to go was also air-conditioned, although I have to admit that in some of the places we visited, their air conditioner appeared to be struggling with the temperature too.

From there, after a few more lyrics, I realised that I was becoming more focused on how grateful I was that I was out and about.  Even if I was a little hot, it was such a joy to be visiting the people and shops where I was greeted warmly, helped with what I was looking for and left feeling incredibly happy that this was a normal day! I found that my growing feelings of gratitude was changing my attitude and I was enjoying myself, whatever the weather.

Passing the florist I was reminded of the beautiful flowers I have coming along at home. The King Orchid has already finished in the tree but my potted orchids are growing apace. The Dancing Lady is a mass of flowers and the red Hippeastrum looks wonderful with a splash of colour from the orange Clivia.  Spathiphyllum, (Peace Lily) and Arum Lily are snowy white and the fragrant Jasmin and Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow send their scent indoors each evening.

Despite the fact that I was beginning to droop from the constant walking and shopping I was still feeling buoyed up by the day. We stopped and had a marvelous latte, exactly the way we like it, and once again I felt that upsurge of gratitude flowing through me, my “Cool Change” was still running in the background.  My day was complete when I found a beautiful piece of Botswana Agate, the colours amazing and really feeling like the flow was moving not past me but through me. I was embracing the change I had been feeling all day.

Gaining an hour coming to Queensland had been a bonus and we headed off home to Byron and to our favourite little coffee shop for a bite to eat. We had not taken into consideration that most places would be closing their kitchens earlier because we had now ‘lost’ an hour. Normally this would have been enough to really spoil the end of a glorious day. The sea breeze had sprung up so it was beautiful and temperate inside or out, but we weren’t going to get the meal we had hoped for.

A few miles further on we spotted a shop still trading and ducked inside. We settled on a lovely toasted sandwich and a wonderful coffee. It was terrific to find a Di Bella coffee which is our favourite blend.

Beautiful toasted sandwich and coffee. Simple and delicious.

Under normal circumstances even finding the Di Bella may not have saved the day, but the change in attitude made the gratitude for finding something tasty, nutritious and quick was all that made the difference. It was then that “Cool Change” ran through my mind again and I realised how intricately those three things are entwined. When all three are flowing little miracles can happen – large ones too.

We arrived home truly happy with our day, knowing we can go back to our coffee shop and have our evening treat another day soon, but also knowing we both had a warm ball of gratitude inside from our change in thinking about the days events. Our attitude had been rewired and what may have been obstacles or disappointments had been changed.

For me, as well as Ray, it was a wonderful lesson which had not been difficult but very enjoyable and will help us in the future.  I truly hope it may also help you at some time.

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Viktor E. Frankl

There is always, always, always something to be grateful for, if we change our attitude we find the gratitude.

May your days be filled with large and small blessings.

Love always.  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson

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sunrise
Whatever you do or dream you can do – begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Until the middle of November we are in a time of working through old hurts, pain from the past, especially related to family issues, and I haven’t been immune to this process.  In case anyone is wondering how I know, I’ve felt mired in the past, immersed in sadness and making life unpleasant for my husband.

I’m presuming the later since he wouldn’t admit it. His response to my many apologies for my miserable attitude was simply, “I love you, I’m your husband and I want to be here for you”. Pretty cool, huh. I know I’m one very loved and lucky woman.
For myself it’s felt pretty uncomfortable.  I don’t know if I’ve managed to clear all the old hurts and sadness but I’ve certainly made a huge start.  Yesterday I started writing. It was going to be a small blog, I wasn’t in the right head space, or so I thought, to write anything larger.  Then my fingers started to run across the keyboard and my mind was in neutral.  I wasn’t thinking about what I was writing about. It felt as though it was being dredged from somewhere deep inside, a place which was full of pain and anguish and carefully hidden away from the world. My first taste of automatic writing.

ghost blog writer
image courtesy of  sem-group.net

I’m not really a sharer when it comes to those deep personal issues. Experience had taught me it wasn’t a good idea.  For most of my adult life I’ve very carefully crafted a vault, deep and wide, secured by unbreakable walls and locked in so many different ways without keys that I’d supposed no-one would be able to get in there and see what I was hiding there. Every hurt, every pain and disappointment, and every loss had been shoved, squished and poked in there and the lid battened down tight. I didn’t want to go there or look into that abyss so why would anyone else?

floating in the abyss
image courtesy of  ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com

However, for the past week or more I’ve floated in that self-same abyss during my sleepless nights and during my unwatched waking moments.   I’ve avoided answering the question of “what’s bothering you?” and tried to pretend all was well.  It appears my Higher Self had other ideas in mind. So I began  my blog and my fingers did the walking and talking.  When I had finished I knew, on some deep visceral level that it was time to let it out. It didn’t matter if anyone else read it, (except my husband),  but it was a huge release for me.

This morning I woke up in agony. Quite laughable really, but all it meant was the old pain was working its way out too. So much pain carried for so long, is it any wonder it felt so bad.  The cups of tea, lashings of hugs and love and I knew it was time to do this. I’ve really made a start to clear all that old and buried pain and agony out. I don’t need to hold onto it any longer. I’m in a safe place now and I have someone I trust to lean on and love me and let this horror loose and clear it to “the light”.

I feel lighter than I have for many years. Thank you Ray for loving me and providing a safe haven for me to “let go” and thank you Nicole Cody, for giving me so many tools and the courage to let the past go.  (The Full Moon Releasing and Becoming Ceremonies have been an unbelievable ‘key’).  Tomorrow is a brighter day, I know there are many more ‘releasings’ to happen but I know that I can do it now.  THAT, is a truly awesome feeling.

have a beautiful day
image courtesy of  mycommentspace.com

“If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
Norman Vincent Peale

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