Image courtesy soulevolutioncenter.com.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
It’s been almost two years since I really gave serious thought and enthusiasm to writing my blog. I’ve missed it. Yet, even though I missed it, I felt there were shackles holding me back. Not even holding me back, but crushing me into immobility and worst of all, silence. Whilst I will talk in later blogs about the past two years, today I’m just setting the stage and being totally honest, a rarity in many circles.
I had a rough night on Saturday night, sleepless until dawn, although I rarely speak of it.
During my wonderfully deep sleep, I had a dream. I was on a windswept beach, a house (where I lived) in the distance and the rolling waves of the ocean coming into the bay constantly. The emptiness of the beach didn’t matter, I felt so totally at peace that it was almost like an aphrodisiac. It felt almost as if it was drawing me to it. Am I meant to simply pack up and go searching for this Nirvana like place? The idea is incredibly attractive. However, the most important fact if all was the overwhelming thought;
“I CHOOSE TO BE AT PEACE.”
It seems that most of my life I’ve been searching for that simple thing – PEACE! All the “Self Help Gurus”, “Professional Development Gurus”, “Spiritual Gurus of New Age Spirituality ” had failed to help me reach that simple state – PEACE. Yet this little dream had shown me that it was there all along and the rolling waves of the ocean had rolled back the blocks preventing me from feeling amazingly at ease within myself. It cannot be found “out there “and all the guided meditations under the sun won’t get you there until you find “YOUR KEY”.
What was the “KEY?” For me it was simply “ALLOWING”.
Strange isn’t it, until you know that for the majority of my life I had struggled to control events in order to get through each day, each challenge, and each individual moment and appear to have everything “under control”. Being in control was the sole way of retaining my sanity, or so I thought. By “Allowing”, I was allowing whatever happened to simply happen and letting it flow past in the River of Life.
I also realised I had no need to try to save or change it. My Being does not require anything other than to BE. – I have no need to try to affect it in any way, other than to simply BE true to myself and allow peace to flow over and through me at all times.
Orchids always peaceful.
Now I am able to release the past in truckloads. hurts from words or deeds, done or undone are flowing past in that River of Life. I can finally release the feeling of being crushed by the virulent attack by a supposedly Spiritually Advanced lady who called herself my “MENTOR” and “FRIEND” yet dumped on me without the courtesy of seeing or speaking to me. Her heart wrenching, demeaning words have been shown to be worth less than the air time it took to send me a text message on Face Book. The accusations she accepted so readily shown to be lacking in truth, honesty and respect.
That said, thanks to her words and wounds, I have plagued and tormented myself enough by what she said, trying to understand who could have said something to make her change her opinion of me when I have known her for twenty years. Known her and shared my private information with her during a psychic session which was used to rip me apart.
Yet now it’s gone. PEACE has been granted by a higher power and I am deeply grateful for that. Universal Laws have a way and means of correcting everything. She, the apparently undisputed Authority on all things Metaphysical, “HAS NO POWER OVER ME.”
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“When tea becomes ritual, it takes its place at the heart of our ability to see greatness in small things. Where is beauty to be found? In great things that, like everything else, are doomed to die, or in small things that aspire to nothing, yet know how to set a jewel of infinity in a single moment?”
― Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog
So, after all the hurt and pain she helped create over these past two years, I can say I am at peace. Peaceful and Content. If she should happen to see tis, or hear of it, and is able to honour her invitation – “A cup of tea at my table at any time”, then I would be delighted to accept. After all, she offered that and more several times at least.
“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.” ― Fred Rogers
Know that you are always loved.
Blessings,
Susan ❤
Owls and Orchids 