Posts Tagged ‘dating’

couple in love

Couple in love, courtesy of istockphoto.com

“Love knows no boundaries” – Marius Gherghinescu.

For all the romantics who abound in this world, the above quote is most probably a truth they live by, however, for the many sceptics who feel all that ‘mushy’ love stuff is ridiculous, I’m sure they would prefer,

“There are none so blind as those who will not see”, a proverb traced back in English to John Heywood, 1546.

In reality both statements are true. Life simply cannot run as smoothly as a mill-pond. There will always be those twists and turns, which whilst unexpected, should really be expected because life never runs a smooth course. At least I haven’t heard of one going so smoothly. If life were so smooth, no bumps along the way, then it would be truly boring. Yet conversely, all those twists and turns, those bumps, the cavernous drops in the road ahead, all these can make life a struggle from beginning to end. It makes one wonder why anyone would bother with such a mammoth struggle. The reason why is simple, “Love Conquers All” which derives from the Latin phrase from Eclogue X by Virgil, “omnia vincit amor“. With love in your life, a belief in unconditional love from either another person or the Universe, all these hiccoughs along the way temper the character and make everyone appreciate the rich tapestry of life. In fact it irons out the twists, turns and bumps.

So where do the ‘skeletons in the closet” come in? That’s life, in all it’s rich and colourful complexity. The star struck couple have formed a deep friendship, trusting in each other and sharing the life lessons from their pasts which have made them into the people they are today. All is well, and time flows on smoothly. If there are any odd flashes of intuition which tells her that something isn’t quite what it seems to be, then she ignores it because she really wants to believe in him and doesn’t want to accept that there may be something, or several things which have been ‘glossed over”. In due time she finds out the wrong way ( is there ever a right way?) that the ‘glossing over’ is not a mild understatement but a complete obfuscation of fact! She has many faults of her own, not the least of which is an uncompromising view of the truth. In a world where white is never white and black is never black she holds the view that a lie is something which is something either said or misled or if omitted altogether is still a lie, a lie of omission. None of which fall under any category she allows as being acceptable. They jury is in and the gavel has fallen.

Gavel, image courtesy of saramarberry.blogspot.com

Through the unkind generosity of a computer hacker, who decides to disseminate the information gleaned back to her, she learns of every twist and turn her new-found love has travelled along life’s highway. The problem with this, he hasn’t told her about it, he has ‘fudged’ about other parts of it and completely obfuscated about a great deal of the rest. Does it really matter now? That’s a question a better person than she would need to answer. She only knows that the truth she holds so dear, especially after the misfortunes in her past love life, have left her without a clear barometer with which to calculate this information.

At every twist and turn this information rears its ugly head and plays havoc with her mind. She cannot, irrespective of how hard she tries, block it from her memory or ignore it. The questions multiply at an alarming rate and it threatens the peace and longevity of this wonderful relationship. There are many who would say it couldn’t be such a wonderful relationship if there are so many problems and lies at such an early stage, yet these are two people who know they have travelled life’s road many times before and are meant to be together again. This is a battle to put the past in perspective and relish the fortunes of the future, and so the truth will come out!

A business arrangement, from its outset blatantly abused by the other parties, has drained the reserves and strength of her partner. He had nowhere to turn and no one else to turn to. He was so close to finalising the business venture yet the capital fell short. Along came a funnel-web spider, disguised as a bleached blonde, intent on capturing its prey by whatever means at its disposal. Now, I cannot comment for anyone else but I hate spiders, and women who deliberately set out to ensnare men are lower than a spider. That’s simply my opinion. Here is an honest man, trying to do the right thing, being taken advantage of because of his good nature and is now falling into the clutches of a nasty death-dealing arachnid! Oh you can tell I don’t like spiders!
funnel web spider female

Female funnel-web spider ready to spring, image courtesy of smh.com.au

A business agreement is entered into and in time the business fails utterly. The man is devastated, everything he worked for is gone, without a penny to his name he has nowhere to live. Destitute. Does she act honourably? Does she understand the depth of despair this man is now drowning in? Not one whit! She blatantly propositions him for sexual favours. “Sleep” with her and work her farm and the loan is forgiven. Forgiven! Forgiven!! I must be dreaming. This is a business venture, a loan for a business venture and the business has collapsed. The business and loan have vanished into the ether and cannot be recovered. She is going to devour this man whichever way she can. Like any good flesh eating monster she simply revs up the attack.

What happens next? Being rebuffed does no good at all. She persists, like a spider who has its prey wrapped securely in a cocoon for digesting later, she sinks her fangs ever deeper and watches the death throes as he tries to survive.
funnel web abd prey

image courtesy of superstock.com
spider bite
funnel web bite – day 10. image courtesy of declubz.com

So what happens when his lady arrives on the scene and she, of the funnel-web analogy, finally cannot deny that her fangs have lost their deadly grip and he isn’t going to be her dinner? Then she becomes a death dealing viper, a fork tongued cold-blooded reptile who will destroy him in any way possible. She lies, she cheats, she tries to sue in court. She deliberately swears on oath that he lives in a place vacated years earlier. She knows where he is because she arrives uninvited one night and meets his new lady there. Yet lying to the court if the other party cannot get there to defend himself is easy. She glories in her perjury!

Synchronicity – what a wonderful thing. Through unbelievable twists and turns the information about the court case arrives at it’s intended destination, but not through any action of hers. With the smallest of margins ever he is able to get a defence lodged and fight the spurious claims she has perjured herself making. The truth finally sees the light of day. There is no validity of a court case where the truth is not in evidence. There is no possibility of a financial outcome. Even the solicitors are finally aware they have been duped by the venom of this creature. There has been a vexatious waste of the courts time as well as the solicitors, who cannot be recompensed for their time and efforts. Perhaps justice is served after all as the court throws the case out and the “plaintiff’ has to pay costs for bringing a claim without valid grounds. Justice is blind, I agree, but just occasionally Justice prevails, as it has this time.

blind justice Blind justice, image courtesy of boxing.com.

winning judgementWinning judgement; courtesy of ehow.com

Sometimes you simply have to believe and have faith. Love does conquer all!


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Happiness is a smiling face

Image courtesy of zastavki.com

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
Dalai Lama XIV
Nothing conjures up a smile faster than seeing the happiness in another persons eyes. It cannot be faked, it either is or it is not.  The eyes are most certainly “the window to the soul”: an old english proverb. If you look into a persons eyes you can immediately tell if they are truly happy or if they are simply putting on a facade, look carefully and you can see the shadow of unhappiness if it isn’t real. Take it from one who knows.  I’ve had those wonderous moments when your world is filled with glorious happiness, nothing can go wrong and you are in love with life, and often someone else. Love is wonderful, it can be the love of a partner, a child, a parent or sibling , or if you are fortunate, a true friend. It isn’t essential to be in love with a person, it can be a beloved pet, and quite often it is the simple beauty of your surroundings that plucks at the heart-strings and you cannot help but smile  from pure joy. It can even be the unalloyed pleasure of doing something you truly love.
For many years I had the pleasure of a shared passion of tapestry with my mother. We would talk tapestry, canvasses, colours, threads and derived enormous happiness in showing off a finished piece of work.  I have a number of her pieces framed and hanging in my home.  They evoke many beautiful memories of long talks and laughter.  Now that she is no longer with me they bring her closer to me and for that I am eternally grateful.  It is a small grace in a mountain of sadness and it took a long time before I gained that appreciation . For quite a while they evoked a deep sadness, and I began to wonder if I would ever be able to see them without reliving her loss.  I am genuinely happy to say that time has passed, and whilst I still miss her desperately, I can look at them and remember the joy we shared in our joint passion.

Rose bowl tapestry

Image courtesy of artsanddesigns.com

Yet love takes so many forms and for as many delights which can be found, there are, unfortunately, as many painful mementoes of its passing through our life.

“But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love for ever”  by Robert Burns “Ae fond kiss, and then we sever”.

One of the most often talked about and written about time of our lives, is when ‘true love’ has finally reached your door.  Yet, there are many cynics who do not believe that love is a reality at all but simply an animal magnetism harking back to our origins when the urge to procreate and thus ensure the survival of the species was paramount.   I believe that time has passed. I also believe that for some, indeed for quite a number,  love has lost its ‘magic’ and has become commonplace, so commonplace that it has lost a great deal of its power to move people.
There are many stories told of how a meeting of the eyes was the moment when two people realised they were in love, a love so deep and true that they would spend the rest of their days together.  I know of one such story.

These two were no teenagers, confused between the animal lust and the steadier and stronger feelings of love, not that the burning feelings of love didn’t stir both heart and mind!  She had been married before, twice,and, as the story usually goes, unhappily. The only thing she felt she had to show for two decades of compromise and unhappiness was two children who had become strong, self-reliant individuals who knew how life could be and also what it could be if done right.  So she reconciled herself that her ‘life’ as such was relatively over and after finally finding her ‘freedom’ had decided to find a nice place, away from the stress and pressure of daily drama and become an “old maid”, talking to her cat and knitting in her rocking chair. This is not to say she was old, that was how beaten down by the vicissitudes of life she had become. She needed a place and peace to find herself again.

Sad and lonely


Yet deep within still lurked this old dream of her ‘true love’, a man, tall and dark haired, with hazel eyes. An unlikely combination.   It was almost a repeat of  Sandra Bullock’s wish in Practical Magic; unlikely to be found, but there none the less.  Into our strange tale comes an unexpected stranger.  Should she meet him or not?  All the reasons to stay far away float though her mind. Why should this person be any different from the others, and all the others she had heard tell of?   For all that she had been through, all that she had heard, she disliked with a passion anyone saying she had been afraid to do something and so she agreed to meet, for a simple and safe cup of coffee. After all what can happen over a cup of coffee in a public place?   So the date was set and the day arrived, and every minute leading up to the appointed meeting time she debated on the wisdom of meeting this person who she didn’t really know.

richard castle
At the precise moment he came into view she was making her way, from the opposite direction, to the coffee shop.  Three feet away from each other as he is started to speak, she blurts”You have hazel eyes”!   Magic happens! Cupid’s arrow struck and found its mark. It truly did.  A brief coffee meeting became an invitation to dinner, followed by more coffee’s and more dinner’s and movies. He was charming, a gentleman He opened her car door, in fact any door for her. He carried her parcels and delighted in the simple things, making a drink or chauffeuring her around.  Being in each others company was easy. He could start a sentence and without thinking she was already finishing it for him.  He could be thinking something and she would suddenly begin to talk about it. It was almost as if they had developed a kind of telepathy, the kind you hear many ‘old married couples’ talking about when they have ben together so long they know each other so well they can do that sort of thing with ease. Yet this was only a new relationship and it added to the wonder of the situation.

He also had been looking for someone to share his life with. A failed marriage and a couple of failed relationships had left him battered and ‘gun shy’. He found it difficult to believe this was real, that this was going to last. Two battered people who had found exactly what they had always wished for, hoped for but scared it was an illusion.  Would their pasts rear their ugly heads and make a new life impossible? Were there any deep dark secrets or skeletons hidden in closets to come out and destroy peace of mind?  What was the next chapter of their story to be – wedded bliss or an upheaval of mammoth proportions?   Will true love win out as it does in the stories?

love Pictures, Images and Photos

courtesy of photobucket

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