Owls and Orchids

image from tidetheland.blogspot.com

“There are essentially two questions in life – a spiritual question and a material question. The spiritual question is ‘Who am I?’ The material question is ‘What am I to do with my life?’ One leads to the other.”
― Rasheed Ogunlaru

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I found myself in a familiar place today. Not that it meant it was a good place, simply that I have been there before and recognised it. In truth, if I had a choice I probably would decide not to visit it, yet each time I do I learn something I didn’t know or had forgotten. So, in essence they are times to remember important things, and often things I haven’t wanted to learn.

The difficulty is that life is not one-dimensional. It has as many layers as an onion and people are exactly the same. I must be a tightly wound onion since I seem to be forever peeling away layers!

One doctor tells me I’m making progress, I feel like something a cat vomited under a bush and that is supposed to be good news. (Thank you Lyme disease). I can cut down on the “vomitous” drugs for a while and that’s good, yet it has also brought a gargantuan upsurge of inflammation and arthritic pain which is not so good. I know the mantra, two steps forward and one step back, and always a little more progress is made until you reach your end goal.

My end goal – wellness! Perfect health and well-being, positive physical energy, (and spiritual energy) and a return to normal activities. Simply being able to walk in the country or on the beach for more than five minutes before I have to stop will feel like I’m a captive bird which has been freed. I long to do ‘normal’ things like window shopping, going for a drive in the country without being ill for two days. Without needing a carer to watch over me. That sounds ungrateful, yet it isn’t, it is simply a desire to be free to do those things alone –  if I wished to.

image from http://www.colourbox.com

Some of my most intense and beautiful memories are of lying amongst the bluebells in  my favourite meadow, my border collie by my side, watching the fluffy clouds creating pictures for me to make stories around. The gentle breeze would stir the leaves casting a mosaic of shadows around us, the squirrels would be chattering away and the birds warbling overhead making a musical backdrop. Occasionally a pair of rabbits would pop out and, being quiet, would go about their business unaffected by our presence. It was a heavenly interlude and I could feel the beat of Mother earth, my Angels and Guides around me and I was part of our great Universe. It was, and still is peace on earth.

I have different memories now. The shared joy and love of watching the glorious moonrise. Seeing the orchids and hippeastrums beginning to bud in my garden. Watching the Rosellas mating and building their nest in our nesting box. The storm clouds boiling up only to drift away and the birds drinking nectar from the flowers. New flowers I’m learning about.

Storm clouds rolling in

Chasing the best nectar

Lady Slipper vine

Love is in the air

I mustn’t forget all the new friends I’ve found here, through my blog. Generous people who have accepted my first steps at writing and poetry, my amateur photography and the kindness and encouragement by their visits. Its makes the difficult days easier to bear because I have something to look forward to.

Not to forget the many things I learn…that spirituality is within and it is in evidence when I look out. When the words of someone far away can touch me deeply, can bring light to a dark place and give me answers to long-held puzzles. Then there are the special people who have brought something more, with their stories, sharing their experiences and those special friendships which are found in the most unexpected ways.

I have been blessed by friendship which I thought a figment of imagination, someone with whom I can discuss the many strange things which I have seen and experienced because we have a similar ‘history’. A dear and special friend who has become, in a short time, a cherished friend. Wonderfully for me, a friend my husband and I can share in different ways.

image from damonsmithnow.blogspot.com

I had a goal when I started writing today. I wanted to paint the picture of how, from a seemingly bleak start it was possible to find that calm centre and the clarity which can come from there. The connectedness with everything around us, which grounds us and allows us the strength to find the positive amongst the dross and succeed despite the struggle.

You see, I have difficulty finding my way at times so I’m sure I’m not alone. There are days I feel so isolated I want to curl up, pull the ground over my head and hide. People I looked to for support are so busy garnering their own they are unable to spare a small measure for anyone else, not even to share a morsel of friendship or support.

I fall down and eventually have to pick myself up. I have a heart overflowing with gratitude for the unconditional love and support my husband gives me every second of every day. I know how very fortunate I am and I thank Spirit for finally bringing us together. I pray, if that is what you pray for, that you find the same. I pray you find the support and friendship I have, and I wish you the strength to get back up and keep going when the days are miserable and hard because I know that there will be an end. I know my happy place, my dreams and plans will all come to be – soon.

I believe and it will be so, because what I think, what I believe, will be. That is how the Universe provides. It creates what we think and believe. So build your dreams and hold fast to them and surely as day follows night, they will be….. soon.

image from urbanspiritual.org

I’d like to share two of my favourite quotes which help me and perhaps may help you also.

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did.”             T E Lawrence

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So dream on and believe because even one dreamer, one believer can make a difference.  Join me!

Blessings and love.  Susan x

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