“In our heart love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation; it comes in times of frustration or desperation. So when you feel it and have it, don’t let it go because it’s hard to find love.” Author unknown
“Can I sleep here Mum?”
“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz, False Memory
Some seven weeks ago I was thrilled to finally receive my beautiful, bouncing, bundle of joy! Now before anyone who knows me becomes convinced I am finally ready for a place on the funny farm, let me explain. My bundle of joy is a beautiful Mini Fox Terrier called Bella. She is a bouncing bundle of joy in every sense of every word. I am convinced that at times she truly has springs in her legs as she bounces beside me filled with mischief or glee.
My long wait for her has taken me through many a strange journey. I was determined after I lost my last dog, another Mini Foxie, Rusty, almost seven years ago, that I would never have another dog. He had been my constant and faithful companion for over eighteen years. He had been my confidant and protector for all that time and when he passed, peacefully, the heartbreak was more than I could handle. He was a part of my family and had seen me through some of the worst times in my life, thus far.
Looking for trouble – “Mum, Are you sure I can’t pull something out?”
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
― Josh Billings
Yet there was always that feeling of emptiness. The odd feeling that something was missing and more and more often, I found myself detouring into pet shops and gazing wistfully at the puppies. Finally I couldn’t fail to understand the message, Rusty was telling me it was time to find another friend. So the search began.
I scoured the rescue refuges and came away more disheartened by the week. It seems that in Queensland the only dogs not centenarians, by dog standards at least, were the size of horses. Really! Wolfhound x Staghound cross, Staghound x Rhodesian Ridgeback cross, Wolfhound x Ridgeback cross and on and on. They would be gigantic and in the city was no place for a huge dog. Not only that but I knew they would break my back (slight exaggeration only) as soon as they pulled on the leash.
I began to wonder if I was meant to have a dog at all as I began searching for breeders and could find none. When I did, no puppies for the foreseeable future. It appeared all the females were being given a break from breeding at the same time. Was this a message to wait longer?
Now, whilst this may sound out-of-place, I realised that this delay was simply another example of “Divine Timing”. When the right puppy was there for me I would find him or her. Conversely, as it occurs to me now, when I was absolutely ready then the right dog would be there for me.
Bella was born on November 5 last year, an odd date for me since it always brings back memories of Bonfire night and the Gunpowder Plot in England.
“I love you, Mum”
“Not a single creature on Earth has more or less right to be here.” — Anthony Douglas Williams
At nine weeks of age she barely covered my two palms, a truly small bundle of joy. Yet she filled my heart with a deep protective love and when she curled up on my lap, trusting and filled with love, I could deny my ‘baby’ nothing. Well within reason. I could almost hear Rusty telling her of the mischievous things he did and which she copied so faithfully. Running off with my slipper and hiding it where I would find her curled up asleep! The beautiful peep show as she pretended to be asleep and not hear me. It felt as though a part of my heart was suddenly swelling with this amazing joy and happiness. I was so grateful I had waited as long as I had.
Bella, the gardening Guru!
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ― Lao Tzu
Little Bella, who at 16 weeks weighs just 1.6kg with harness and lead dangling, had her final vaccination two days ago. St the vet’s insistence she was also given the 12 month heartworm vaccine. Having seen what heartworm can do to a dog I am in favour of the vaccination, previously done by monthly tablet. But she is still very small and was due one vaccination already. My concerns were overridden with a peremptory “Yes, she could have had this at 12 weeks!”
Since she had my precious cargo already clutched in her hands, it felt as though I was a hysterical “mother”. Bella had her two vaccinations and nails clipped before being returned to us looking very agitated. When we reached the car and I settled her on my lap her tiny eyes drooped shut immediately. Her head was like a ball of molten lava and the red hue of her temperature was livid through her short fur.
Bella has been almost “out of it” for two days, barely drinking and vomiting anything we attempted to feed her. This of course was after the three, almost projectile vomits after the vaccination.
I realise I sound melodramatic but thus tiny bundle has tied her chains around my heart as surely as Rusty had. If anything should happen to her… it would feel like losing a member of my family. She is a member of my family. So whilst I have done little bits here and there to this I’ve been preoccupied with her.
“Love lets no connection between you become stronger than you allow it.” -Susan Jamieson
“Can I sleep here Mum?”
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.”
― Milan Kundera
I am a dog lover and I love my dog. In that I am unashamed. I hope you understand my story and my quick disappearance again.
Blessings, Susan♥
© Susan Jamieson, 2015
Owls and Orchids 