Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

#PuppyRules

“In our heart love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation; it comes in times of frustration or desperation. So when you feel it and have it, don’t let it go because it’s hard to find love.”   Author unknown

 

#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.”   Dean Koontz, False Memory

Some seven weeks ago I was thrilled to finally receive my beautiful, bouncing, bundle of joy! Now before anyone who knows me becomes convinced I am finally ready for a place on the funny farm, let me explain. My bundle of joy is a beautiful Mini Fox Terrier called Bella. She is a bouncing bundle of joy in every sense of every word. I am convinced that at times she truly has springs in her legs as she bounces beside me filled with mischief or glee.

My long wait for her has taken me through many a strange journey. I was determined after I lost my last dog, another Mini Foxie, Rusty, almost seven years ago, that I would never have another dog. He had been my constant and faithful companion for over eighteen years. He had been my confidant and protector for all that time and when he passed, peacefully, the heartbreak was more than I could handle. He was a part of my family and had seen me through some of the worst times in my life, thus far.

 

#PuppyRules

Looking for trouble – “Mum, Are you sure I can’t pull something out?”

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Yet there was always that feeling of emptiness. The odd feeling that something was missing and more and more often, I found myself detouring into pet shops and gazing wistfully at the puppies. Finally I couldn’t fail to understand the message, Rusty was telling me it was time to find another friend. So the search began.

I scoured the rescue refuges and came away more disheartened by the week. It seems that in Queensland the only dogs not centenarians, by dog standards at least, were the size of horses. Really! Wolfhound x Staghound cross, Staghound x Rhodesian Ridgeback cross, Wolfhound x Ridgeback cross and on and on. They would be gigantic and in the city was no place for a huge dog. Not only that but I knew they would break my back (slight exaggeration only) as soon as they pulled on the leash.

I began to wonder if I was meant to have a dog at all as I began searching for breeders and could find none. When I did, no puppies for the foreseeable future. It appeared all the females were being given a break from breeding at the same time. Was this a message to wait longer?

Now, whilst this may sound out-of-place, I realised that this delay was simply another example of “Divine Timing”. When the right puppy was there for me I would find him or her. Conversely, as it occurs to me now, when I was absolutely ready then the right dog would be there for me.

Bella was born on November 5 last year, an odd date for me since it always brings back memories of Bonfire night and the Gunpowder Plot in England.

 

#PuppyRules

“I love you, Mum”

 “Not a single creature on Earth has more or less right to be here.”   —  Anthony Douglas Williams

At nine weeks of age she barely covered my two palms, a truly small bundle of joy. Yet she filled my heart with a deep protective love and when she curled up on my lap, trusting and filled with love, I could deny my ‘baby’ nothing. Well within reason. I could almost hear Rusty telling her of the mischievous things he did and which she copied so faithfully. Running off with my slipper and hiding it where I would find her curled up asleep! The beautiful peep show as she pretended to be asleep and not hear me. It felt as though a part of my heart was suddenly swelling with this amazing joy and happiness. I was so grateful I had waited as long as I had.

 

#PuppyRules

Bella, the gardening Guru!

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”    ― Lao Tzu

Little Bella, who at 16 weeks weighs just 1.6kg with harness and lead dangling, had her final vaccination two days ago. St the vet’s insistence she was also given the 12 month heartworm vaccine. Having seen what heartworm can do to a dog I am in favour of the vaccination, previously done by monthly tablet. But she is still very small and was due one vaccination already. My concerns were overridden with a peremptory “Yes, she could have had this at 12 weeks!”

Since she had my precious cargo already clutched in her hands, it felt as though I was a hysterical “mother”. Bella had her two vaccinations and nails clipped before being returned to us looking very agitated. When we reached the car and I settled her on my lap her tiny eyes drooped shut immediately. Her head was like a ball of molten lava and the red hue of her temperature was livid through her short fur.

Bella has been almost “out of it” for two days, barely drinking and vomiting anything we attempted to feed her. This of course was after the three, almost projectile vomits after the vaccination.

I realise I sound melodramatic but thus tiny bundle has tied her chains around my heart as surely as Rusty had. If anything should happen to her… it would feel like losing a member of my family. She is a member of my family. So whilst I have done little bits here and there to this I’ve been preoccupied with her.

“Love lets no connection between you become stronger than you allow it.” -Susan Jamieson
#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.”
Milan Kundera

I am a dog lover and I love my dog. In that I am unashamed. I hope you understand my story and my quick disappearance again.

 

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

 

Read Full Post »

#JustOneHour

Beautiful Orchids

“A garden should make you feel you’ve entered privileged space — a place not just set apart but reverberant — and it seems to me that, to achieve this, the gardener must put some kind of twist on the existing landscape, turn its prose into something nearer poetry.”
Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener’s Education
“There are many paths leading to a garden and many experiences awaiting those who venture in. No matter what your motive—whether to grow healthy, delicious food; spend time outdoors feeling more alive than your desk job allows; help save the planet; find relaxation, solace, or healing; meet your neighbors; get your hands in the sweet earth; or discover for yourself just how abundant and generous nature can be—a garden rarely disappoints. It’s a magnet for life in all its quirky, beautiful forms.”
Jane Shellenberger, Organic Gardener’s Companion: Growing Vegetables in the West

 

Just a brief pause in the daily grind, a short pause between the semi lucidity that appears before the next round of pills need to be taken.

I managed to look through my window whilst there was light outside, in fact as the sun rose above the rooftops. It was not sunrise, but the next best thing. That pause between the flare of sunrise and it’s promise of a golden day and the gentle light that bathes everything before the heat begins. So, I carefully extricated myself from my covers and hobbled out the door. Creeping as best as my limping would allow, an improbable sight, and one worthy of a photo, but that I couldn’t manage.

I opened the doors careful to make no sound lest my gentle hearted jailor nurse would hear and usher me back to bed, scolding me along the way. He has good reason, it’s not been the best of weeks, and all through a silly accident. Time not to dwell there today.

This morning I saw my Lady’s Slipper Orchid out in full bloom, a smorgasbord of shoots twisting together to make a wonderful welcome to the sunshine. Then I spied my Rose of Sharon, such a luscious deep red and I knew I had to take photos.  Those I have to share later, but I have plenty more to share now. My poor Hypericum had suffered in the heat and after a savage haircut to help the new shoots to grow, it was time to think about watering, I could hear my Hippeastrum’s calling.

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”
George Harrison

I hobbled around the house, praying that unwinding the hose wouldn’t waken my husband, as the hose would sit between the windows of our bedroom. Who would think to put it there? No squeaking tap, the fairies are helping today, and we (the fairies and I) enjoyed a glorious hour watering the plants. You could see the fairies jumping between the globules of water and hear the sylphs playing amongst the puddles. They could have played longer, but I, I had to admit it was enough. Everything had been given a good drink.

Time almost ceased to exist as I watered, but eventually we come back to reality.

Hose draped over the holder, I carefully tip toed on those treacherous black tiles, back into the house. I crept around, closing the door so I could sneak inside and type this out. Time for “Pain Killers” is shrieking in my head, well, in my hips and legs, but that’s for another day.

 

Enjoy my brief escape into garden whimsy.

“When told the reason for Daylight Saving time the old Indian said, “Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket.” ~Author Unknown

 

 

Blessings for a Happy Saturday, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Cake coming up for the special celebration

I started a family tradition when I met my ex-husband, and later it was more for the children, as they loved the fruit cakes I made and so it was always a birthday special to have a ‘special’ boiled fruit cake then.

I hope you enjoy it as much as we do, its easy to make and delicious to eat.

 

Special Rich Boiled Fruit Cake

 

There is something so deliciously special about this super moist cake and it has remained a favourite with guests and family for more years than I care to remember. So when my husband was having his birthday at the beginning of this month, for the first time in ages I felt well enough to do some serious baking. Serious only in so far as I simply haven’t felt well enough to do anything too extra ordinary as I thought I’d end up in the oven with the cake.

Needless to say I had to rush out and buy all the ingredients. One doesn’t have much in the pantry if you’ve stopped baking. So here it is, the cake to make your mouth water and want for more. It was all the more special this time as he had never tasted my boiled fruit cake. Apparently I’ve given his Mum a run for her money with this one. Oops

 

Boiled Fruit Cake – Susan’s Style

Ingredients

I Cup of sugar (or substitute)

¾ cup water

110 grams (¼ lb) butter

1 teaspoon mixed spice

1 teaspoon Bicarb-Soda

I packet mixed fruit (good quality please)

I packet of glace cherries – for the mix             and

1 packet to decorate (I just love them!)

I packet of slivered almonds for the mix,

Reserve some for the top if you like to make a nicely finished off cake.

Place all of the above in a saucepan and boil for approximately 5 minutes. Allow to cool

∼ 

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

All the ingredients in the pan, stir well

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCak

Bring all the ingredients to a boil

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

The Bicarb-Soda makes the foam rise to the top of the pan

 Remaining ingredients

2 large eggs, beaten (700 gm eggs free range are best)

I cup of Plain flour

I cup of Self Raising flour (or Self-Rising flour)

½ cup Sherry (optional)

Alternately add the beaten eggs, plain flour and self-raising (or rising) flour and sherry. Mix well.

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

2 eggs beaten, S/R and Plain flour and the Sherry!

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Add eggs, flour/s and sherry alternately

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Mixture is ready for the last stage

Oh – I nearly forgot the Sherry 🙂

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Nothing much left here after all those cakes

 

Place the mixture in a lined cake time in a moderate oven (320 degrees Fahrenheit or 160 degrees Celsius) for approximately 1 hour.

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

One decorated cake ready for the oven

 

Test with a wooden skewer – if it comes out clean it is done.

Depending on your oven, test the cake after 45 – 50 minutes.

Allow to cool in the paper. (It also keeps the sherry in.)

 

The Special Touch of Decadence

With a pastry brush, and whilst the cake is still hot, paint the top of the cake with additional sherry. The heat makes the cake absorb the sherry immediately.

Depending on whether your mixture was a little dry you can repeat this process after you have tasted the first slice – I have to admit that I usually paint it again and wrap it in alfoil and then a plain tea towel to keep the moisture in.

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Sherry to add that extra decadence

(Treating it like a Christmas cake really allows the flavour to seep into the fruit deliciously.)

Cake remains beautifully moist for a couple of weeks – if you can get it to last that long!

#Susan's SpecialBoiledFruitCake

Almost ready to eat…. who needs it to cool down?

I usually have to make two cakes, (at least), to get a chance of savouring it after the first couple of days – even with the two of us! The little uns still love it!

Enjoy!

Blessings, Susan ♥♥♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

 

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“What Price Trust, Respect and Communication?”

It may sound like a ridiculous question, and in some ways it could be said to be a question that is automatically answered and therefore a waste of time. After all, if you have a “significant other” in your life, then you presume that trust is one of the most important things in your relationship. It is an integral part of everything you do. Or have I misread the fine print somewhere?

I know this is something I have asked myself before, probably more than once, and therefore the answer should be in front of me. Yet, I am continually reminded by others, that life is not always so straightforward. People are seldom one-dimensional, and as far as language is concerned, what something means to one person, means something entirely different to another.

So how can we ensure that what we say and do is clearly understood by someone else? It’s really Communication 101, with a dash of Trust 201, and also Respect 301. Sounds funny doesn’t it, yet also self-evident, don’t you think?

I’ve spent my entire life working on the principle that, what I say I can be held to, at any time. I’m reminded of the film and series “Fifty Shades of Grey”. For many life is like that. (No, I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard so much about it.) If someone can find a grey area, that wiggle room, they will exploit what they say to get round the finer points of the truth. Yet to me, the truth is all important. It is a foundation block for all life.

#trustrespectcommunication

Image courtesy of simplelifecelebrations.com

 

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Think for one moment about the misunderstanding, the hurt, the pain and the betrayal, felt by individuals and you begin to realise the importance of truth and trust. You can also add ‘countries’ in this equation, as the furore over the perceived intention on someone’s words has seen entire continents go to war.

Perhaps I am the one “at fault” here. Perhaps I am too black and white, the one who cannot see the middle ground in a situation?

Yet, I’m always reminded of the old Western films, John Wayne, Henry Ford and Paul Newman; even Robert Duvall and Kevin Costner in “Open Range”. They always depicted people of strong character who were willing to die for the truth, the right, and to protect those weaker than themselves. Idealistic isn’t it?

Yet there are times when idealism is what we need to return to, in order to get our country, our world, and our relationships, out of the mire and into the clear skies once more. Are we not meant to be “smelling the roses” each day, “paying it forward”, remembering “kindness, gratitude and appreciation?” I’m surely not the only one who has become lost along the way? I should ask if I have become lost along the way.

#trustrespectcommunication

Image courtesy of crunchmodo.com

“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”
Goldie Hawn

There was a time when I believed that family was everything, the glue which held all of us together. These were the people who, no matter what happened, you could rely on to “have your back” and help you, come what may. Yes, another idealistic outlook, but there has to be a start somewhere and if not with family, then where?

We cannot talk to each other any longer because everyone seems to feel the need to ensure they are “one better’ than you are. It makes them feel so much more satisfied if they can “blame you” for saying or doing something, even if they have no idea what actually happened. It makes me feel saddened at the loss of that family bond. I know my parents would be more than disappointed.

These simple “codes of life” apply across the spectrum, from the individual relationships, friendships to the dynamics of country interaction.

#trustrespectcommunication

Image courtesy of http://www.quoteswave.com

 

“We’re paying the highest tribute you can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It’s that simple.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

In the end, I feel, we have to build trust and respect through communication. It is essential we do this if we wish to survive and bring the world forward into a better place than it is presently. Is this not the meaning of our journey here on earth?

If I say, I will tell you the story of my life, so that you can learn from it, avoid the pitfalls which brought me low, then I must follow through with that promise. I cannot decide to change my offer after I have begun, because I think I can “make more money from it” by selling it to someone else. I cannot say, I will make this promise with you, yet if another country offers me more, then I will forget our arrangement and go with the new offer.

We have to respect our own words first and foremost so that others know they can trust us. They can believe in our words because we have shown them our word is important. It was one of the founding blocks of society when we began forming societies. Respect and Trust in our Communication with ourselves and with others. I don’t believe things have changed much at all. If only everyone else understood those three little words…. We could avoid so much hurt and pain, so much bloodshed. Understanding could be second nature.

So many clichés and yet they are all true. My you find your Truth and Respect for yourself and your fellow spirit along life’s journey and learn the dance of communication to bring us closer together.

#trustrespectcommunication

Image courtesy of sherwoodfleming.com

 

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Stephen R. Covey

 

May all our days be filled with understanding so that we can trust one another from a place of respect. Let us then communicate from our hearts.

 

Blessings,  Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, August 2014

Read Full Post »

#Realms of Forever

Image courtesy of farndale.robertsons-videos.co.uk

Gazing dreamily into the bright blue sky

Watching the powder puff clouds roll by

Catching the gaze of the hovering butterfly

Drifting lazily yet not passing by

Hovering daintily near my nose

Making my eyes cross, just so

Fragile legs just tickling softly

Lacy wings beating slowly

Making the smallest puff of air move gently

Across my star-crossed gaze

Captured in this magic

Of a moment of stolen grace

Peace and contentment supreme

As I lay in my daffodil embrace

Surrounded by nature’s beauty

The serenity I seek enfolds me

As I see myself upon my butterfly

Or into a fairy transformed

Soaring way across the meadow

Into a land of gentle spirits

Where pain and loss never enters

Loved ones are gathered around

Greetings and love forever found

Tears and sadness banished under the mound

Is this what memories are made of

Then I’ll take my share with pleasure

To share with my loved ones in full measure

Til my time comes to follow my dreams

Into the realms of forever.

#Realms of Forever

Image courtesy of abstract.desktopnexus.com

 

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson July 2014

Read Full Post »

#Inecapable Time

Time’s miraculous passage through our lives. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

“The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not”…. ~Thomas Carlyle

It seems at one and the same time, absolutely incredible that not one month, nor two but almost three months have passed since I last wrote a post for Owls and Orchids. It has never been very far from my mind, yet there seems to have been a never-ending stream of events, of things, which needed to be done, or attended to and the days were gone before I knew it.

In some ways it was always going to happen, I simply didn’t think it would be such a long time. I made a promise to myself, that after the previous fourteen month of drug imposed restrictions that I was going to do as much as I could, to get the move from New South Wales to Queensland done – MY WAY!

Perhaps that was where things began to unravel. I was, at that time, still in a lot of pain and felt indescribably wretched from the copious amounts of antibiotics still in my system. My release from the Lyme induced prison had not yet relinquished its hold on me, even if I had been given the “all clear” that I did not, in fact, have, nor ever had Lyme disease. That alone sent my mind into dizzying circles, from which it was often hard to extricate myself. Yet, we had the move to our new home to arrange and I refused to sit, or lay, idly by whilst the hectic work revolved around me.

The new place in Redland Bay was a delightful enticement after the disappointments of Ocean Shores. I would miss the view of the ocean, but in reality, I had been ensconced in my four square prison and only intermittently was able to get outside to see and enjoy it. The irony is not lost on me that I have exchanged, what was supposed to be a location, filled with ocean views, fresh air, healthy and relaxing, for one which is, well, almost suburbia. I say almost, because we are a little off the beaten track, just in a small pocket of civilisation where I can access the dreaded pharmacy, much more easily visit my doctor and, a five-minute stroll arrive at a beautiful water enclosure, boardwalk, trees and filled with all manner of bird life and the occasional kangaroo and wallaby. We have yet to visit the spot where the wallabies come out in early morning and evening to get some photos – but, all in good time.  The camera has yet to be downloaded of all its photos!

 

Falling in with the packing! Image courtesy of busybeingfabulous.com

But – THE MOVE! An interminable number of boxes seemed to parade in front of me daily, each filled and taped to be replaced by another. This, after having decided not to unpack the majority of our belongings, as we felt uncomfortable within moments of getting the keys at Ocean Shores.

I achieved more in that last month than I had for the previous fourteen. I found muscles which had been hammered in the forges of medical experimentation and proclaimed loudly their new abuse. Yet it was also a good feeling. I felt once more, that I was finally achieving something worthwhile. Time seemed, not an enemy, but a friend again.

The relocation was tiring and time-consuming  as they usually are. The large spaces we had seen were rapidly engulfed by more and more boxes as the truck was unloaded. Daily more boxes were unpacked as homes for their contents were found – and yes, I was deciding where things were to be housed. It was a glorious feeling, knowing that I was arranging my kitchen, my clothes, my books, all the many things which make a house into a home. I was doing all those things once more. No longer would I wander around the house, wondering where something had been stored because I hadn’t unpacked it. Time had regained its orderly flow once more. In control and loving it – or so I like to believe. And no, I don’t believe control is the big baddy it has been made out to be.

 

#Inescapable Time

I saw time slipping away as I rushed through each day. Image courtesy of mariana-a.deviantart.com

“Time is a very healing place, one in which you can grow.” ~Denise Tanner

Yet herein I also found my obsession again. That indefinable and inseparable part of myself which wanted everything to be placed “just so”. As things took shape around me I found a greater impetus each day to keep going, despite the increasing pain, to forge my new home into the vision I had for it. Boxes have an amazing array of hard edges and corners, a depth to them which defies normal reach and I found myself entrapped and attacked by the capriciousness of cardboard!

An unfortunate three weeks with a heavy cold cramped my style in ways I hadn’t foreseen. Frustration ran rampant, as I looked with growing dislike at the small number of boxes I had unpacked each day. This was in no way helped by an officious and supercilious doctor, who decided she knew me, my condition and what I needed more than I did after a mere five-minute consultation. So much for a simple script for antibiotics to cure the chest infection, and pain meds to help me “soldier on”. Meds I should add, which I showed her I had been prescribed by my doctor and had taken for some time. She promptly decided to re write my medication needs and refused to give me the pain meds at all. – If I’m suffering now it must be due to the uncomplimentary names I called her for several days after this visit. Needless to say, I won’t be visiting her again!
So, here we are finally. I still have my crystal display case to unpack and sort out, but that is the final item. I really prefer to leave all those fragile and sentimental items until everything else is in place. But, I’m here, and with the help of Spirit, life can begin in a new and more delightful way than ever.
Time passes and new things are found in unexpected places. Obstacles will be overcome and life can take its new path. The delights of the newly discovered will once more be mine.

 

#Inescapable Time

Carried away on Unicorn dreams. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

 

“Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new… but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?” ~Paracelsus

Blessings, Susan

© July 2014 Susan Jamieson

Read Full Post »

#Between Worlds

image from image from dearscotland.com

~~~~~~~~~~

Bitter

Frost ridden wind

Caught deep inside her throat

Swirling

Like wraiths amongst the trees

Gnarled

Roots seemed to pull her feet

Gripping tightly to

Her satin slippers as she ran

A mournful howl

Echoing intense dread

Ripped across the silent moors

Glancing back

She could see a pair of blood red eyes

Peering hungrily in her direction

Heartbeat

Hammering in her veins

She pushed herself even faster

The trees themselves seemed to reach towards her

Welcoming in their evil embrace

The spell caster had wrought his magic well

Find

Bind

Kill

But never to let her go.

~~~~~~~~~

Ahead

The merest lightening of the sky

As the moon rose over the horizon

Time

Was running faster now

A consequence

Of the spell caster’s work

His Lord’s desire

Never to relinquish his claim

Over her body

But her heart

Belonged to the one who awaited her

On the far side of the portal

Between the standing stones

~~~~~~~~~

Finally free of the overhanging trees

Her dress blew free from her entangled legs

As she sped across the hillocky ground

Ahead the stones stood proud

Silhouetted in the growing brilliance of the moonlight

Suddenly

A blood curdling howl ripped apart the silence

Stumbling, she risked a glance behind

To see two evil red eyes

Their heat scalding on her back

~~~~~~~~~

#Between Worlds

image from owlsandorchids.com

Her trembling feet hit the smooth ground near the stones

The moon rose high in the sky

Just to her right the glistening light of the portal

Fetid breath almost overwhelmed her

An arm reached through the portal

Taking hold of her hand

Bringing her a new found strength

An eldritch howl pierced the night

She smiled at the sight which welcomed her

Through the swirling portal

Between the standing stones

Sighing

She stepped through.

#Between Worlds

image from eltoron.com

Blessings,  Susan

© Susan Jamieson 2014

Read Full Post »

#My Husband, # My Lover, # My Friend

Ray and I on our wedding day May 11, 2011

“This is what our love is––a sacred pattern of unbroken unity sewn flawlessly invisible inside all other images, thoughts, smells, and sounds.”   Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams
My Husband, My Lover, My Friend

It’s been a rough week here and although I’ve tried to play it down, inside my head and in my posts, there have been times when the thought of simply ‘giving up’ wasn’t far away.  It’s very difficult to remain positive when you wake up and the moment of consciousness brings the awful knowledge that your entire body is screaming in agony.

It’s becoming a real nightmare, a waking nightmare and this morning was the worst to date. Let me explain, although it’s really hard for me to write this. I cannot move my legs, body, head or shoulders. I am fortunate that my hands and lower arms appear to be okay. I wake up feeling as though I’m in a roasting oven, on well done!  I cannot push the covers off and I cannot get out of bed, (I can’t move).

#My Husband, # My Lover, # My Friend

image from autobio-blogs.plazilla.com

I’ve tried everything I can think of to get out of bed without waking my husband, especially as sometimes I wake really early and I’m ruining his rest. He needs it, he has to look after someone who is cranky because she can’t do the things she has previously done alone and I’m not in the right head space to “give in gracefully” and acknowledge that for the moment, this has to be my reality.

#My Huasband, # My Lover,#  My Friend

image from http://www.123rf.com Is this what is coming?

So let’s go back to this morning. I had a magnificent sleep, six hours of deep sleep. It’s a shame it was drug enhanced but I can’t fight that any longer either. But, I heard Ray get up and that was enough to wake me.  It was a world of hurt and I had no idea what to do. My entire body was locked in this agonising position and I had to move. I simply had to.

From a mental angle it is full on despair, a waking nightmare I cannot banish. Giving in is against my entire world view. I have always stood my ground, but that has become a joke since I cannot stand. Not first thing in the morning.

The first challenge is getting upright and Ray has to hold my hands and when I say “Pull” he has to pull me upright quickly. This morning I screamed as he did this.  (Going slowly is more painful.) Ray has to slowly pull each leg around until I can reach the floor and then once again, pull me to my feet. He has to make sure I don’t fall backward or forwards or I’ll be on the floor. I’ve mentioned the ‘damned stairs’ before but this morning they almost defeated me. But he wouldn’t let go, nor would he give in and we painfully made our way along the corridor.

#My Husband, #My Lover, #My Friend

image from owlsandorchids.com       Is this all that’s left?

It has brought home the simple dignity chronically ill people suffer which is taken by others as something they just have to get used to. I wonder if, in the same position, they would find it so easy or welcome! Well, we made the journey, back to bed and sitting back brought another stifled scream. (I have some pride left). It was not going to be an easy day. I swore I wouldn’t take the tablets but I was afraid, seriously afraid I might have to call the ambulance.  Maybe it’s the meds but that’s tantamount to throwing in the towel and I’d rather the unthinkable than that.

So, doped up and basically incoherent I remained in a land somewhere between reality and who knows? I do know that after Ray had left I felt someone sitting down and then a cuddling into my legs, but that’s another story.

We decided on a bath, detoxing again, but with added special things Ray thought up. He helped me to the main bathroom, (when we build I’m having a bath in the en suite!) and the most beautiful sight met my eyes. My special bath salts, lavender-scented had been liberally placed in the bath, extra Epsom salts, my coconut body wash, coconut scented body cream, candles, my bath pillow and my iPod. I could have cried. It was exquisite – and I forget to get a photo so this will have to do…

How can something so wonderful be so painful? Getting in and lying back caused another loud groan, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me. (Note to self – larger bath needed in our en suite). It was hot, as it needed to be and as I felt the warmth slowly seeping into my body, I felt a wonderful feeling enveloping me. I got my iPod and some meditation music and I was left in peaceful silence.

I came back to myself as the water lost its heat but over an hour had passed and I was a wrinkled prune – almost. Helped out and dried off and then the final surprise, the beautiful coconut butter lotion… He carefully and slowly rubbed it in from my toes to my neck and down my back. I had the most incredible massage of my back. His magical fingers caressed the painful knots and tender spots and relaxed the rest of my back. I was covered from head to toe with lotion and I felt amazing. Every muscle had turned to jelly.

Helping me dress and back upstairs we had a beautiful cup of tea.

I realised how lucky I was. I found in one inexplicable gift from the Universe, my soul mate who is my husband, my lover and my best friend. The pain notwithstanding, I realise I’m so darned lucky. To be loved and accepted by such a wonderful man, someone who not only stands by me, but helps me through my nightmare is a rare blessing. I don’t make it easy on him at times and my guilt becomes another torment. I feel stuck in this limbo, yet supported by a magical earth angel.

What more can I say? Love is beautiful and found in unexpected place and at unusual times. Enjoy it anytime you can.

#My Husband, #My Lover, #My Friend

image from 2guysphoto.wordpress.com

I feel my love flowing to all my friends out here, and to all the people everywhere. Love will eventually change our world. It is too great to ignore forever.

Blessings and love to all.

Susan x

© Susan Jamieson  2014

~

For the Love of My Life and for the Love of Your Lives, whoever they may be.

Read Full Post »

“I have learned that you can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do and buy all the things that you want to buy and meet all the people that you want to meet and learn all the things that you desire to learn and if you do all these things but are not madly in love: you have still not begun to live.”
C. JoyBell C.

The New Year has well and truly arrived and, unfortunately as exected, a certain amount of, shall we say, low battery has also arrived. If I had a battery charger I’d be plugged in and possibly raring to go. As things are, and keeping to the battery imagery, I’m on a slow trickle charge so things are a trifle s l o w…..

I love Josephine Wall Art, the colour and imagery are beautiful and I find this restful and soothing. The quote, well she says it so much better than I and in far fewer words. I thought I’d done rather well. So I decided to share a sad, but truly evocative song from a movie I really enjoy. It’s life, the beauty, the sadness and the reality of living life to the full. In my opinion of course.

Enjoy….

Blessings,  Susan x

Read Full Post »

Spirit of Christmas

image from http://www.josephinewall.co.uk “Snow Flake” #spirit of Christmas

“Christmas, when observed with the right spirit, still has the power to call miracles from Heaven to Earth.”
Richelle E. Goodrich,   Smile Anyway

Spirit of Christmas

I’ve let myself down this year. More than this I’ve let everyone else down. I lost the spirit of Christmas.  After meditating for a long time to gain some perspective, some equanimity to look at everything I’ve made some remarkable discoveries.

  • As well as an existing back/neck problem which has seen me ‘confined’ for long periods I finally discovered:
  • I have Lyme disease and a host of companion diseases to confront.
  • From being “flat on my back” from the injury now I’m “flat on my back” from the medication, most of the time
  • I have been challenged to re-define my approach to the spirit of Christmas
Spirit of Christmas

image from caixinhadepirlimpimpim.blogspot.com

I found that I had allowed my existing beliefs about who and what I am, my beliefs about “how” Christmas should be and my role in it, the very spirit of Christmas, to push me into a position where I was severely depressed because I could not meet these expectations. What was more devastating was that I allowed this to almost ruin Christmas this year.

Spirit of Christmas

image from http://www.superstock.co Remember – if you were naughty you got coal in your stocking?

I have found, with the help and support from my husband and some very dear friends that this does not have to be my reality at all. The spirit of Christmas which is so important to me is still alive within me. Whilst this may sound such a simple thing it is, in itself, incredibly profound.  Anything which alters your perception in such a manner is life changing, if you allow it to be.

I found:

  • I have pain, at times intense and unremitting pain, but it does not define me, it is not ME
  • I have some nasty bugs running my internal programs but they do not define me, they are not ME
  • The lack of support for the spirit of Christmas I have always held as a family tradition is not defined by the presence of others, they are not ME

Most importantly I have found that:

  • I am a unique spiritual being having a human existence, my spirituality is not affected by any pain I might suffer, I am ME
  • My unique spiritual  being is not the zillion bugs attacking my human body because I am ME     and
  • It is my spiritual being which creates the magic, joy and belief in the Spirit of Christmas because I am ME

Such a simple and profound statement: I am ME.

Knowing who and what you are, is something which people search for their entire life. I have not found the full scope of Who, and What I Am, but I am content that I have found the ME who is here, right now.

I have always known and accepted I was a “work in progress” since that is the purpose of my spiritual presence here. I simply forgot that changes in the lives around me, which affected my own life, did not change my purpose. I had to learn how to adapt to those changes, to learn something new perhaps, but I retained the essence of who I am. I can retain the spirit of Christmas within me.

I am so grateful that this incredible appreciation has arrived now.  I have been struggling with my meditation but today I found it was there all along.  I have welcomed it back with so much happiness that it feels as though a great light has been re-lit and a beacon now shines in the place of the darkness the depression had enveloped me in.

Spirit of Christmas
“Beacon of Light” walking into sunshine  Spirit of Christmas
  • I am celebrating Christmas Day with my husband, our first alone together and it is going to be uniquely special because we are together.
  • I am celebrating Boxing Day with my son and his girlfriend, a first, which is another uniquely special occasion.
  • I will see my daughter when I can before New Year’s Eve, and I am grateful I can see her then. Whilst she cannot be here “at Christmas” she is here in spirit, in my heart, which is all I need at the moment.
  • Most importantly, my parents, Mum and Dad, will be here in spirit. I miss them more each year but I now know, beyond any doubt, that they will be with me as I sit at my dinner table with my husband eating our Christmas dinner.
  • In all of these and many more the spirit of Christmas I rejoice in is alive and well within me.

It may be the first time I have been ‘alone’ on Christmas Day but it will also be the first time that I have been able to put aside the crushing loneliness their absence brought – even if it is just a little. It makes it a little easier not to have my family physically with me at Christmas when I have always believed that family and the spirit of Christmas were synonymous with each other. I have no idea when or why that changed but since it has and I cannot turn back the clock, I have to “move with the times”.

As the saying goes, “life goes on”, and it does, whether we will it so or not. Whether it hurts or not, life always goes on. It is a spiritual lesson our human selves must accept. When we do, life isn’t as bad, even if just by a little.

Whilst my family may be moving in other directions, as their lives change, then so has mine. Now I have a wonderful and loving husband who spoils me, not just on Christmas Day but every day. As our love grows it encompasses all the changes which occur.  Our spirit of Christmas is alive and growing each year.

Spirit of Christmas

image from twu.ca

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.”
Bob Hope

When so much seemed to have been taken away I looked and saw that I have so much to be grateful for, a family who are strong and capable individuals, who care enough to want to be around, and a husband whose love will wrap me round and always keep me safe and warm.

The Spirit of Christmas – what a wonderful thing to be grateful for,  I know I am. I hope you are too!

Blessings for a wonderful Christmas with the Spirit of Christmas alive in your own hearts.

Merry Christmas,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson, 2013

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

Bipolar For Life

Memoirs of a Wounded Healer

thoughts alone

Just some thoughts along the journey back home

A Window Of Wisdom

Whispers from spirit heard with your heart

Sacred Ascension - Key of Life - Secrets of the Universe

Discover your True Self through the Vibrational Messages from Behind the Veil

shamanictracking

Opening doors to enhanced life experiences by uncovering the unseen

Kindness Blog

#Kindness Changes Everything

Witch Reads

magical book reviews

Kit Perriman

The Hill - A Historical Novel About Witches

weatheredwiseman

A Weathered Wise Man's Look At Life

Fireside Witch

A personal journey with the Ancients in a World of Ritual, with the Intent to Heal.

Mystical Magical Herbs

by friends who love herbs and want to share what they know...

Sunhealers

Nurture the Body, Free your Soul

aisha north

Channelings and words of inspiration

Dr Bairavee : The Sky Priestess

Spiritualist, Doctor of Political Science, Public Speaker

Circle of the PussyWillows

A Wiccan Circle Based on Green and White Magick

%d bloggers like this: