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Gratitude

Gratitude – hold it in your hands
#gratitude

“When you express gratitude for the blessings that come into your life, it not only encourages the universe to send you more, it also sees to it that those blessings remain.”
― Stephen Richards

There has been much discussion on Gratitude and how important it is in our lives.  What has also been shown is that if we only look at our world with open eyes we can see much to be grateful for. All it takes is a change in the way we look at our daily life. Let’s take a walk through an average day.

We wake up after a wonderful sleep. A bed, what a wonderful thing that is; it certainly provides a much more comfortable sleep than roughing it on the floor.  Let’s be grateful for the people who thought up the idea of sleeping on a framed bed, mattresses and pillows and beautiful sheets, blankets and quilts (duvets, eiderdowns).

Gratitude

image from http://www.thetextileicon.com   #gratitude

Showers and baths – we know baths have been around for ages, and they’re certainly my preference for a long relaxing soak, candles, scented soaps and soothing music, so we can be grateful for the people who thought of the idea of building a tub (instead of bathing in the river), and all the changes since then; candles – yes they’ve been here for aeons too, and scented, it took someone to think about the idea first before we had the pretty ones we use today; soap, this is a good one, they used a lye soap many years ago, what skin it didn’t remove was definitely cleaner. Our soaps today come in endless varieties and forms and some smell divine, given your own preference of course. Now, Showers, they take convenience bathing to a whole new level. We have scented shower gels and soaps that smell divine. New inventions and it’s wonderful to be grateful for them.

Gratitude

image from fineartamerica.com   #gratitude

Music, we know has been with us for a long time, but it has been born on the backs of old shepherds, blowing on reed flutes to calm their flocks. It has changed incredibly since then. We’ve seen Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, Bach through to Eminem, Ronan Keating, Seal and Katy Perry. Again, depending on age and preference we have so many to be grateful for.

Yet the day is only begun, we have the benefits of cars, trains and trams, buses, lifts, high rise buildings made from structural steel and concrete.  Early morning, coffee from the barista, croissants from the patisserie and so it goes on. Where would we be today without all these wonderful conveniences to lighten or brighten our day – so many things to be grateful for?

Gratitude

image from http://www.fotomage.com #gratitude

Not everyone will have all these elements in their daily lives, but most people will recognise many of these time and energy saving technological and lifestyle advances in their environment.

Now, take a look at the average day from the perspective of a person with a chronic illness or ailment. Their day might look like this: They wake in the morning (if they managed to sleep at all) in their comfortable bed. Yes, they’re grateful the bed is comfortable, unlike the board and feather mattresses of old, but they also feel a sense of loathing towards what is in effect their prison.  It’s preferable to lying on the floor, but it is a prison none the less and no sensible person likes a prison.

Now let’s look at a bath or shower. Well, depending on the illness, it is likely that there is no choice, a bath it has to be.  With all the allergies and sensitivities they may not be able to use the beautifully scented soaps, bath lotions and candles, nor the scented

moisturisers and lotions afterwards. In fact, whilst being grateful for the bath, which is cleansing and refreshing, the effort it has taken has now made them so exhausted they need to return to their prison, the bed. Yes, they are grateful they can be clean and fresh, have good clean towels, and soap which is easy on the skin. All these things are new, and, of course there is gratitude that they are here and that there is an option which doesn’t inflame any of their conditions, but options make life enjoyable, don’t they?

Depending on each person’s predicament, the idea of coffee may be impossible. They may once have been able to enjoy going out with friends and enjoying a coffee morning or lunch, but now that’s a thing of the past. They remember fondly or sadly those days. Yes, coffee machines and baristas, wonderful inventions and something to be grateful for…. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could only…..

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if only they had good health and could go to work? Yet that is not the case and they have to rely on the wonders of modern medicine and doctors. We rely on our doctors and medications to make us well, the advancements have been amazing and of course we are immensely grateful for everything we have today.

Gratitude

image from hylaco.com #gratitude

Unless…. The diagnosis is such that there is no cure or medication, neither modern nor naturopathic which can ease the pain or symptoms. Of course there is gratitude for all the developments and knowledge the medical fraternity have gained, yet there is also frustration that with all the advances, there has been no cure found for this or that. Time rolls on and for the chronically ill life seems to draw out all too slowly and painfully.

Sometimes, healthy or ill, people are simply grateful if they are acknowledged in their daily life.  Ill or healthy, if ignored by those around you it is hard to be grateful for being where we are. We have to seek smaller things to be grateful for. We have to hold onto the happy times which occur, the times when we are able to do that little bit extra, spend time with loved ones and friends, even if they are few and far between or we have to pay in pain and suffering later. We hold tight to the pleasure and gratitude we feel when the good times visit us. For the memories we will have later.

Gratitude

image from http://www.dailymail.co.uk #gratitude

Things change day by day, advances are made day by day and we can only go on hoping that one of these days the change or the advancement will mean a cure for whatever ill is visiting us. We can be grateful that there are people always searching for answers and breakthroughs to the challenges which face us.

The more we are grateful for those people and things in our lives already, for the people who are the inventors or researchers who make the changes which improve life, the more we will see changes to be grateful for. It is not always easy, sometimes it is downright difficult, yet if we look for those small things then we may find, one day, we are looking at the big thing we were hoping for.

“Living your life through Gratitude, is not one of comparing how you are better than someone else; or Gratitude only for what you own or obtain or achieve. Living your life through Gratitude, is seeing that the world would be missing something very valuable if you were not in it.”
― Sumner Davenport

May your day be filled with love, happiness and gratitude.

Blessings.  Susan x

Gratitude

image from yourbrainatwork.org #gratitude

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Just One Day.….

Just One Day

image from quotes-lover.com

Just One Day… there’s been a theme running through my mind all day. In fact it’s a recurring theme. I wonder what life would be like if…

Just One Day:- I could wake up, feeling great, stretch languorously and get out of bed and hop into a nice hot shower. Dress and go make breakfast for my husband and I.

Just One Day…..

Just One Day:- I wonder what it would be like to  jump out of bed, smiling at a day already planned. A leisurely breakfast with my husband before hopping into the car and setting off for town. A little shopping and then meeting a few girlfriends for lunch. Sitting and chatting and swapping stories of our day and plans for tomorrow. What would that be like, just one day?

Just One Day.

Just One Day

image from andyouaremysunshine.tumblr.com

Just One Day:- What would it be like if I could get out of bed, pull on my exercise gear, joggers and hop into the car and go to the gym for an hour, or, if I preferred, just go for a run along the beach with my husband. We could just walk leisurely along, holding hands and talk about… what we are planning for the future. Our new home, our new life, happiness and excitement. Perhaps we could plan a holiday, a flight to somewhere? What would it be like, just one day?

Just One Day..

Just One Day

image from quotepixel.com

Just One day:- What would it be like to wake up and smile, not holding my breath waiting for the pain to let go just enough for me to breathe properly, then getting out of bed, without needing to be helped upright and held steady until I won’t fall over.  Walk to the bathroom alone, without needing to be supported each step of the way, before being helped back to bed for heat packs to be brought to ease the pain, and wondering if this will ever stop.

Just One Day….

Just One Day

image from quotesoflife.info

Just One day:- What would it be like to have a leisurely breakfast and not handfuls of pills to swallow which need a set regimen to take them.  No running out the door to see girlfriends, they vanished long ago when it became impossible to rely on my presence. Nor an hour at the gym, that’s long gone as the ‘issues’ became greater. Neither a walk along the beach because I wouldn’t make it to the sand, without thoughts of a walk through the sand.

Just One Day…..

Just One Day

image from twicsy.com

Just One Day:- I finally find I can emotionally accept that this is me in the present moment, I accept who I am and where I am and what is currently happening to me and peace begins to rise up in me. Fighting against this reality can only make me more frustrated, while the reality that I am alive, within this moment can make me stronger than I knew, see the greatness of what is and the love in all things.

Just One Day:- I accept this pain, in so far as it is my present reality, but not my only reality. It will not define who and what I am. Love for me is as bountiful as my love for others. I am not diminished if that love is not returned, but if it is then I am richer than I knew.

Just One Day:-

Just One Day

image from misskryan.edublogs.org

~

I began this day thinking of this film about C.S.Lewis which of course meant that I thought of Sir Anthony Hopkins. Here is a man, who has in life, taken all life has to offer without apology, making no concessions to anyone, and accepting the consequences as they came.

This is what I have come to understand when I thought about what might happen if I had “Just One Day“……………..

~

  “Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” ― C. JoyBell C.

~

Life goes on, with or without me. I have no intention of being left behind, nor of being remembered because I was in pain… I am me, a spirit in my own right and my own beauty. I would not change it if I could because I am growing through this and becoming…. the best that I can be.

This is me, it might also be you. We may walk together, unknown or known, but sharing the same light. It is a light in the darkness we all share at times… but the night always passes.  Please share this post, who knows who out there might just be wishing, for just one day…

~

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

~

If this connects with one person, if this resonated within one heart, lightens one spirit, then take this gift today, for each and every day.

~

Blessings to all,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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The Best laid plans.....

image from www-arts-wallpapers.jpg

There are so many things I had planned to do this week, from the ordinary mundane of going shopping to the obligatory visit to my Lyme doctor. Yet the best laid plans often go awry.  I wanted to inject a little light-hearted anticipation into the week instead of following the same routine as always. Then only feeling tired at the end of getting all the ‘to do’ list done, but nothing that really made me crack that “I’ve had a wonderful experience smile,” which has been missing for too long. It didn’t need to be anything astronomical, or expensive, just something my husband and I could do, out of our normal routine and lighten the everyday routine. Remember, best laid plans and all that jazz.

Okay, this was going to be a little easier than I thought, when I realised my doctor’s appointment was at 7pm. It’s a three-hour drive up to see him, which meant that it would be a long day for me if we made a round trip when we couldn’t leave until after 8.30pm. Checking out the local Bed and Breakfast places in Maleny or close by wasn’t very hopeful at first. It’s a beautiful place to visit and at this time of year, coming into summer, even more so. So when we found a lovely place at Wootha, available for us, it was an immediate winner. At the top of the range and overlooking the valley towards the Glasshouse mountains, I could feel the tension draining away just thinking about it. But I forgot about Murphy’s Law and the best laid plans warning. I sent up my request to my angels for a nice break and off we went.

Even in the air conditioning of the car it was hot. I don’t travel well in the heat and the medication has my blood and body super heated at the ‘best’ of times just now. The blazing sun beat mercilessly through the windscreen like a well stoked furnace. I have a magnificent  case of hives so the heat was adding a new dimension to the itchy torture. (Best laid plans again).  But distracted by the scenery, we arrived and breathed a sigh of relief. It’s amazing what a heartfelt plea for relief can do to ease sorely troubled minds and bodies. Unpacked, a quick refresher and off to the local ice cream shop for one of the most magnificent ice cream cones imaginable. All locally sourced produce and heavenly taste. For one of the very rare times, brain freeze was – worthwhile.

Apart from a long discussion of what’s next, needing to return early the next morning for bloods to be taken, there were no real surprises from the doctor. We had been looking forward to a sleep in and leisurely breakfast, but we could get around that too. Our hosts were only too gracious in offering to let us have breakfast after the test. I was woken through the night by the sound of an unusual barking noise. Not a dog but a fox barking to her young. After a look outside under the full moon, where of course I could see nothing, I returned to my comfortable bed to listen to the possums running across the roof and into the trees, noisily talking to one another.

We awoke to the sounds of the Rainbow Lorikeets making a raucous noise around the bend in the verandah where the owners fed them each day. It really was a colourful display.

Off to the doctor and a small procedure later I was waiting for the nurse to take blood.  That’s when things went ‘off plan’. My ‘best laid plan’ went up in smoke, but not up the needle. Once, twice, three times and still no blood. Again – once, twice, three times and as she removed the needle the blood flowed freely – too late!  I was feeling hot and more than a little bothered. I heard someone say “adrenal surge’ after the procedure and I would have to see the collection office in town. Oh well, it could have been worse I suppose. That was an errant thought which came back to haunt me later. In the interim the nurse suggested breakfast and a drink and get the tests done later.  No arguments here, nor from my husband, the gentleman in the peanut gallery offering hilarious solutions to the lack of blood. It’s always funny watching from the sidelines, I know I’ve been there too, but silently!

Welcomed back into the cool sanctuary of the home we quickly went to freshen up. Then it was back into the dining area where we were greeted with a freshly squeezed orange juice and a huge selection of fresh fruit, rhubarb and peach compotes and local yoghurt with the hostess’ own muesli blend.  The entertainment from the birds continued as we were served with a delightful cheese souffle, accompanied by fresh asparagus spears and bacon. I have never yet managed to get a souffle to rise as beautifully as this, and it almost melted in your mouth.  Refreshed and hunger assuaged we settled back with a cup of tea.

It was hard to tear ourselves away but…. the pathology needed visiting before we could enjoy walking around town. Then we hit a larger snag to our ‘best laid plan’. After waiting quite a while in the surgery, since no-one told us we could just walk up and knock on the door, (usually I wait to be called in when it’s my turn), I went in and after she spent ten minutes deciphering all the requests she pronounced sentence, “You haven’t eaten, eggs, nuts, banana, etc, etc this morning have you?” she said. “It really should be a fasting test!” Well, that was that. Best laid plan up in smoke and not going out that day!
Not her fault but I was thoroughly put out. Finding her in town was one thing, waiting for her another, then to be told she  couldn’t do it anyway. UGH!  We walked around town, somewhat jaded, and I have to admit I was hot and itchy by now before finally settling for a visit to my favourite crystal shop to soak up those lovely vibes. Not a total waste then. We left feeling soothed by all that crystal energy and set off back to Byron.

I’m sorry to say the strain was too much, I really can’t take the heat and I fell asleep on the way home. I woke up in agony and had to be helped inside the house. Thankfully one plan I made had worked out magnificently. Knowing I would be away I had posts ready and scheduled for publishing, so I met my NaBloPoMo challenge and I’ve been tweaking photos and today’s blog.

It was to be an easy day. My tests are booked in and a mountain of messages have been attended to. Photos are all downloaded and labelled. Have you ever noticed how the names escape you if you don’t label them immediately? Brain fog, that’s my reason, that and the heat which fries my brain.

Here’s a lovely picture of the storm lilies which came out after the storm we had on the weekend. Delicate shade of pink on the edges, just beautiful.

Best laid plans

Storm lilies

I hope you enjoy the views as much as we do. Plans are meant to be broken and sometimes you get amazing surprises as a result. If we hadn’t had our plans altered we wouldn’t have been able to spend time watching the birds, seen the King and Pale Headed parrots, which don’t hang around with the noisy Lorikeets. The Fire Tailed Finch was a real treat. It felt like we were being fortified for the disappointment we had no idea was coming. I’m grateful for that blessing.

Blessings to all.

Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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image from spirit_elements-www-josephinewall-co.uk

image from spirit_elements-www-josephinewall-co.uk

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
From an Irish headstone”    Richard Puz

 

.

Traveling to Mum’s house that night felt surreal. I felt as though I was wandering through my own personal nightmare. I drove along and had no real recollection of where I was going or what I was doing, it felt as though I was on auto pilot. What would have happened if anything unexpected occurred I have no idea. I suppose I should thank my angels and Dad that it didn’t. I could sense him from time to time but I knew he would be with Mum.

Going through the front door was indescribable. Yet another part of the nightmare, never ending. There was this horrible feeling of disconnect. Nothing felt real. I felt like an interloper and I seriously wanted to leave. For the first time I can remember I felt lost, adrift on some strange ocean with no bearings to guide me. Yet I was expected to be the same person I had always been, capable, competent, organised – for everyone else. It felt as though any feelings I had didn’t exist for anyone else. Their tears poured but I felt I couldn’t, or shouldn’t. When I was told I was a co executor of Mum’s estate I cringed inside. The other was my brother.

Every ‘rule’ of executor ship was flouted and trying to say anything I was over ruled on the pretext that he was so upset because Mum had passed away. Oh – wasn’t she my mother too? I was over ruled and out voted. Meetings held without me regarding Mums prized possessions (sentimental), before her hospitalisation had seen me ‘disenfranchised’. My children were simply excluded, and I had the feeling it was because they were the only grandchildren. I was being torn apart piecemeal, no one to turn to and I was still supposed to take control of the situation, even being accused of being an “Ice Maiden”, without feelings, because they didn’t see me cry. I had a dam inside and the tears couldn’t be allowed to get past it. I didn’t want them to see it either.

image from http://www.theguardian.com     Such a vital piece of paper

The more I learned about how the Will had come to be drawn up, its contents and the meetings which took place without me, the more I felt cut off from my family. I was lost in the darkness and there was no way out.  Once the funeral was over, the wrangling with finalising the estate began. Months of arrangements and meetings, and more and more blackouts as I traveled to ‘Mum’s’ house started to widen the cracks. When I was finally told, after I organised the estate tax return, that it would be another 12 months until it could be finalised I reached “the point of no return”.  Denied Mum’s mementos, denied access to the house proper to see her things, despite everything I had tried to do and I had reached the time to say, “Enough!”

I needed time. I needed space. I needed to find out who I was again. I had been mother, daughter, sister, wife for so long that I was unsure who I was. I booked a 12 week trip to the Middle East and Switzerland, had a long talk with my children and left to find myself. My children understood and were old enough and cared enough to wish me well, however. I didn’t leave a happy camp behind. I don’t believe my brothers really understood how fragile I had become.  I tidied up everything with the solicitor so nothing would need attending to in my absence and left.

Perhaps it was prophetic that I went to the airport alone and had no one to see me off. My very first overseas trip, the only trip I had ever taken alone in my life and there was no one there to say goodbye. As the plane rose into the air I felt an enormous weight suddenly detach from me and I felt lighter than I had for so long. I had a long way to go but I had made a start.

image from http://www.travelhouseuk.co.uk           Fly away little bird.

There was a strange feeling as I walked into the Singapore airlines lounge, which felt something like, “So this is what ‘they’ were talking about. There was a feeling of freedom, of being looked after, and after the previous couple of decades it was almost unbelievable. The people there were so friendly and helpful, and despite the fact that it was their job, they made me feel as though I was special, something truly unusual for me.

The long haul trip to Singapore tested out my back despite being in Business class, a luxury I had decided on simply because of the injuries to my back. Unfortunately we arrived at 11pm so apart from a walk, a very long walk to the Singapore airlines lounge there were very few shops open.  Yet the two hour wait for my connecting flight to Athens was still full of surprises.  I had rarely seen so much food available outside a restaurant and staff who were only too happy to help. The shower facilities were a blessing and it felt really good to refresh myself after sitting on the plane for so long.

image from http://www.airreview.com             Business Lounge in Singapore

Back on board again it seemed only a short time before we were landing in Athens. I had been too excited to sleep much so the on-board films were a good distraction. I was collected at the airport – Yes, I had someone standing in arrivals with my name on a piece of cardboard! Whisked through the airport, the Greeter insisted on handling my entire luggage (I over packed) and I was in a taxi and speeding into Athens.

The driver, whose name I never did get, zipped in and out of traffic like a bee hopping from flower to flower. The nonstop information was brilliant, but I could only take part of it in. The sights and sounds were amazing. Once we reached Athens the traffic was phenomenal. So many vehicles all going flat out, horns honking, drivers waving their arms at each other and the roads – they seemed so small! It was a thrill a minute.

View of the Acropolis from outside the hotel

View of the Acropolis from outside the hotel

The hotel was an oasis of peace and calm from the bustle outside and once I was in my beautiful suite I suddenly felt exhausted. Tired or not I had to explore since I was only there for a couple of days on the way to Israel, my ‘final’ destination. I’m sure the Major D was surprised when I hurried through the doors so soon, asking for directions. I walked for hours before finally stumbling back to the hotel where I declared it exhaustion treat time and ordered room service.

One beautiful hot bath later my meal arrived and I settled down to find an English speaking news channel so I could find out if the Middle East was still peaceful.  The lure of the soft and gigantic bed was too much and I slept until breakfast the next morning.  A full breakfast was on offer but I didn’t want to waste time so off I went sightseeing and gathering all the brochures I could for my return trip.

image from news.gtp.gr     Athens Airport

 Picked up bright and early the next morning, (They even got the staff up early so I could have breakfast before I left) and I was whisked out to catch the El Al Plane into Israel. That was where the fun really began.

Next week – Learning to breathe again

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Picture Perfect

Black Cockatoo pair

 

“We need the tonic of wildness…At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature.”   ― Henry David Thoreau,

It’s been a while since I looked through my photos and I realised there were, not just a few, but a lot that I had taken. The term “snap happy” came to mind, but with it came the realisation that I was storing lots of memories of the outings we’ve had. What made it more important was the knowledge that all the excursions didn’t revolve around doctors and tests. Certainly they were there, but interspersed with them were the moments when we could forget that we had been running around “just for that reason.” So I decided to compile a cross section of the things which took me away from the doctors and tests and back into the light hearted day, or night, and revel in the beauty of nature and life.

Yesterday it seemed like a strange way to start the day by grabbing the camera, but Black Cockatoos are not usually seen here, yet there they were sitting at the top of the tree watching us get ready to leave for the day. Since it’s the first time I’ve seen them here it was a great start to the day.

The Top Knot pigeon singing his song on the rooftop was so quirky I couldn’t let it pass. The beautiful Kangaroo Paws have been  providing such a beautiful display for months I thought they deserved to be included, and who can go past the beautiful scent of the gardenias.

The yellow on this Sulphur Crested Cockatoo is so brilliant, like a splash of sunshine on his ‘fascinator’. Our friendly Coucal keeps visiting which is unusual and so he gets two photos. They make the most unusual noise so are very difficult to miss. The honey eater is even weirder, at times he sounds like a dog barking and for a small bird, so loud!  I love the one of the two whales, flippers in the air. I couldn’t decide if they were playing together (probably were) but it looked as if they were waving to us.You know I love orchids and this one has been flowering for months. The yellow is so bright – another reminder of the sunny days.

I mentioned how funny it was watching the magpie attacking the cake at the Crystal Castle Cafe.  He managed to get most of the icing off his beak but he really didn’t want to leave that cake behind. Despite their reputations he didn’t get upset when I moved the plates away from him either. A mixture of photos of flowers from the area and at Crystal castle. With so many nectar producing plants it’s not surprising we see so many honey eaters. I couldn’t finish off without one of our regulars, the Galah. Here he is just waiting to pounce on the feeder. When there is some room it’s everyone for himself, or herself.

“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one’s neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”   ― Leo Tolstoy

This then is my little corner of the world. I hope you enjoy a little peek into it. I am grateful that with a little reminder I have been mindful of my gifts from a bountiful world. Sometimes it’s difficult to realise I am Being present with my world and these pictures show me how much I have changed.

Blessings.  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life.You are blessed”   ― Pablo

It’s not often that everything you wanted to get done in a day works out perfectly. At least it’s been a while since I’ve had that pleasure, and when the day involves a round of visits to doctors, specialists and having blood work done, you don’t really expect to have a brilliant day. It’s more like a ho hum day, let’s get this thing done. Yet my day was filled with gratitude as it went from woeful to wonderful.

However, my day could have been far different. As I said it began in it’s usual woeful manner. At the moment of wakening the pain hits and it’s a tortuous shuffle to the bathroom, the light hurting my eyes and sending white hot shafts of pain lancing into my brain. Yes, woeful seems pretty accurate, but thankfully it didn’t stay that way. It’s been a wonderful day even though it was filled with all of the above and I have been filled with gratitude as a result. Gratitude as I went from woeful to wonderful – excellent!  I haven’t received the results I had hoped for from the doctor, but we have a plan of attack to find answers to riddles which are annoying both of us. Now, that’s quite funny. The doctor is as irritated with the peculiar results as I am!

Gratitude

image from http://www.apotheken-umschau.de    The goop goes in the holes. Cosmonaut style!

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” — Buddha

For all that, there have been some good results come in. Despite my entry into the annals of Sputnik history whilst having my EEG, the results were good, that is they were NEGATIVE. I do have a brain – whoopee, and it is working very well. Yippee and Whoopee! Headaches may come and go, with migraines attached but the grey matter is still pulsing along just fine, thank you very much. In fact, I’m firing on all neurons and that is really wonderful news. Since I had been concerned about it earlier I was truly grateful that the tests came back so positively. Gratitude, I had moved from my woeful state to a wonderful state and it was incredible.

I mentioned my new program “Life Change.” I’ve been working away with it for a month and part of it has lots of Affirmations, Gratitude, changing Attitude and self-development and more.  I’m sure you get the picture. I’ve really been working on myself and how I approach the Lyme disease issue and the other issues attached to it, and not just health but everything. I wouldn’t be me without having a few odd anomalies to go with it so it’s been a worry for a wee while. Knowing I’m getting a handle on it and my work is paying off with good results has been such a major boost today that – I’m bursting with gratitude.

Gratitude

image from http://www.flickr.com     Like a field of blood, poppies for Remembrance

“We all have an inner voice, our personal whisper from the universe. All we have to do is listen — feel and sense it with an open heart. Sometimes it whispers of intuition or precognition. Other times, it whispers an awareness, a remembrance from another plane. Dare to listen. Dare to hear with your heart.”    ― C.J. Heck,

After a long chat with my doctor the prospect of two sets of blood work wasn’t in the least worrying, despite knowing that they usually have trouble finding my veins. Yes that’s right, even my veins go into hiding when the needles come out. It’s quite funny really; at least it has become funny today. Even though I needed two sets doing because no-one can get the results to make sense. We are using both pathology places to get a reference point to hopefully work from, but even that wasn’t depressing. Then, both phlebotomists were able to find a vein and get the blood without any difficulty at all – and no bruising, the first time in months. It’s a wonderful highlight to remember.

Later we went to see a wonderful friend who also happens to be a great jeweler. I’ve known him for many years and it’s always a delight to see him, yet I’ve been an absentee friend for a while because by the time the doctors’ rounds have been completed, I’ve felt too tired and dispirited to want to see anyone. All I wanted to do was get back home and rest. Today, I was still feeling weary but I really wanted to say hello. As I said, he’s an absolute gem and before we left he slipped a little gift to me. I was so surprised. I realised how lucky I was to have such a kind hearted person as a friend. I haven’t seen him in far too long but his beautiful gesture really touched me. Once again I felt so grateful that the Universe was sending so many signs to me today.

Gratitude

image from electricliterature.com     My Spirit view

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”   ― G.K. Chesterton

It’s often very difficult, if not impossible at times to see how much we are looked after and loved by Spirit when everything seems to be going awry or downhill. It’s hard to be grateful even for the little things at times and then suddenly along comes a string of beautiful things, big things. As I was being chauffeured around I kept seeing signs from Spirit that I’ve been asking for.  (My initials on a car registration plate, triple 8’s everywhere, my birthday being on the 8th, the car we’d like to buy next, in the colour we like and with triple 8’s in the number plate). There were so many things, and then my daughter rang and she was much better, she’s been ill for a couple of weeks.

A beautiful stop at our favourite coffee shop for dinner on the way home, which was delicious and we drove home through light showers. We need the rain and it was not too heavy for driving so it turned out really well. Then when we reached home a large cactus which, because it flowers at night, I’ve missed many times over the past months, had one beautiful flower open. Yes, photographed and I’ll post it tomorrow. I just couldn’t wait to share the wonderful news from my day.

Gratitude

Chicken Risotto       Gratitude food

Gratitude

Mushroom Linguini       Gratitude food

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”    –Marcel Proust

Thank you all for your support, I know it has been a huge factor in helping me to start my new Life Change and all the positive things I’ve seen today. It makes tomorrow exciting to see what more the Universe will bring. I feel positive and so very loved and cared for by everyone and the Universe. I am immensely grateful that I can see these changes and that I can share them.

Photo day tomorrow, so many things to share.

Blessings to everyone.

Susan x

Gratitude

image from jessiejeanine.com

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Life Change

image from genzoman.deviantart.com

“You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of All that is, will be and ever was.”   ― Anthon St. Maarten,

There is no guarantee what lies in store for us. If we are truly lucky we may have flashes of knowing, our intuition kicks in and we are sure we know what to do. We make choices based on our ‘gut instinct’ and everything seems to fall in our favour.  Life seems truly blessed. Our lives are all if not more than we hoped for. Yet there is always room for a “Life Change“.

I’m sure we’ve all felt we need a “Life Change” at some time or another. Some people might call it a ‘run of luck’ and thank their lucky stars that things are going well. By the same token others will say “it’s just a run of luck” when things are going badly and they hunker down until their luck should turn again. It’s simply a turn of phrase, taken whichever way is most suitable for the circumstances.

We are all given certain ‘gifts’ or talents which we bring with us when we are born. Sometimes we feel that people have charmed lives, and at others we feel they may have been dealt a bad hand. Yet each time someone has a run of bad luck, or are dealt a bad hand there is something they can do to alter it. They can have a “Life Change” at any time, even when times are good they could be better. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes we can change our life around. We have the ability to change how we think and act to make our lives into what we want them to be. This is the reason for self development.

Life Change

image from kcbobatoon.empowernetwork.com

“Start with big dreams and make life worth living.”   ― Stephen Richards

 

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Throughout the journey we call life we have the choice to be happy, sad, healthy, wealthy, grateful or envious and so much more. It may sound strange or even far fetched when we are sitting at the bottom, feeling defeated by circumstances, ill health or deserted by those we thought were friends. I know, I’ve been there. Yet it is possible to climb out of that black pit. We have a choice to make a “Life Change.” We may not be mega wealthy like Bill Gates, we may not be an Olympic athlete like Sally Pearson or a dancer like Patrick Swayze but we can be the best that we can possibly be. We can turn our lives into the dream we always believed and hoped possible. We can learn to spend wisely and grow our money, we can learn to be a good sport and enjoy our activity and we can learn to dance and feel the “wind beneath our wings.”  We have a choice to develop our gifts.

There are many people who teach meditation, relaxation, life coaches, business coaches, doctors to aid us in improving our health or managing it, natural therapies and so much more. We have to make a conscious choice to refuse the status quo and change things.  We need to decide that a “Life Change” is possible and we want it.

Yet it can be difficult to organise all these changes on our own. At times everyone could use a little guidance to get started, stay on track or be encouraged. My husband and I have been working towards getting a plan together, one which would help me to manage my own challenges by creating a “Life Change“. I needed to refocus myself, my energies and plan new dreams and goals to take into consideration my health and be able to adapt as I become healthier.

Life Change

image from kaotickell.deviantart.com

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”    ― Albert Einstein

I’ve already started my “Life Change” program. It’s not all ” beer and skittles” or “sunshine and roses”. I still have bad days and need help picking myself up, but I’m hoping things are going to be much better very soon. It’s easier to see the light again if the dark clouds arrive and that’s a great help.

When I’m fighting a battle on a health front, when things don’t go to plan, when I wish things were different, it seems strange to be starting a self development ‘program’ and yet I felt that it has been the ideal time to start. If I can do this when things aren’t easy then I know I can make even more changes and kick more goals when life is better. So, I’m reaching for my stars. I wanted to share my excitement with you, my friends in cyberspace.  Perhaps I’ll need a hand to help me up if I slip, but I’m happy I have a path I can see clearly now.

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you’ll move mountains.”    ― Dr. Seuss

May you kick all your goals each day. Together we can change the world.

Ciao, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson  2013.

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“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”   ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

A strange thing happened to me tonight as I read through the blogs I follow on my reader.  Someone I have come to know very well, and for whom I have the greatest admiration for, was obviously having a very hard time. In fact, as I was reading this post my husband walked in to find tears streaming down my face. At that moment, at trying to explain what ‘was wrong,’ I came to a startling realisation.

For the first time in many long years I have found, here in cyberspace, on Word Press, a group of people who have become friends. In fact they are very dear friends, and this has happened without my being consciously aware of it. The realisation was, for me, quite momentous. I have spent the better part of my adult life without friends.

There had been several reasons. My ex was a police officer and many people find that confronting. They were polite, to a point, but really didn’t want to socialise. Then there were those who wanted to believe the worst of any police officer, and his family, during the Fitzgerald Corruption hearings, and as you can imagine some very cruel things were said. He had a phobia about retiring and finding he was penniless and so everything we had earned whilst working went into our home and investments. We owned our home but our family life had been – somewhat lacking. Holidays were something we dreamed of as everyone went away over the summer holidays.

Still, they couldn’t know this but it was said that ‘he must be corrupt because we owned our home’. Cruel, senseless and divisive. It was needlessly cruel towards our children and for that I despised, with a fierce intensity, those people. Then later there were those people who had professed to be friends and evaporated like a summer breeze the moment my ex husband and I separated. It felt like I had contracted some unknown contagion and I felt more isolated than ever.

“When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that’s when I think life is over.”    ― Audrey Hepburn

I was asked recently when I had built a wall around myself. It took a while for me to follow the thought back, inside myself, and to realise when it had begun. This protection mechanism to prevent the feelings of hurt and rejection. I had an image to protect, that of the competent no-nonsense individual who could do anything, despite the difficulties. It was a persona which had developed over many years and for those who have read my posts about Voice Dialogue and Sub Personalities you will recognise this was “The Protector”.

However, I have moved on and against the odds I have met and married a wonderful caring man, someone who takes the time to understand the complexities of my nature. I am daily grateful for this miracle. Yet he has also done more than allow me to love freely again. He has allowed that shield I erected to start to come down. I have extended myself to others and been accepted. I have found people who are genuine, who wish me well and whom I have come to care for deeply. Should anything happen to these people I would feel all the grief one would normally feel at the loss of a close friend or family member.

Friendship

image from http://www.hbdragon.com     Lives entwined.

This may seem like a small thing for some. It may seem trite to others. Yet I have learned that friendship is one of the most important things we can give to each other. The knowledge that we need not put on a face to shield how we feel from them and that they will still offer support, an ear to hear you or kind words to help you knit those fraying emotions together again. It means, very simply, that no-one need ever feel alone because feeling alone, feeling isolated and misunderstood is corrosive to our hearts and souls. Our spirit is damaged by the isolation from other spirits, from other spirits in human form as we are here on earth.

So, to all those who I have come to value through my interaction with you, I offer you my friendship, a delight in your creativity, an empathy in your difficult times, and a joy in your happiness. As much as people crave love, friendship is the glue to make or lives a glowing beacon.

I wish everyone, true friendship, and my heartfelt thanks for allowing me to reclaim this wonderful feeling. Thank you.

Friendship

image from quotes.lifehack.org

Be well, be supported, receive friendship and happiness, and smile at least once a day.

Ciao, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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DOING THE BEST I CAN_n

I need to take A moment’s pause. Today is a slight departure from what I had planned. My little excursion yesterday has made my planning for today redundant.  A couple of itty bitty injections have left me sleepless (last night), although I was assured the jungle juice would knock out a bull elephant. It seems bull elephants have lost a little of the oomph recently. Hmm. Two hours sleep this morning does not a happy little camper make, nor a very cogent one either. It was but “A moment’s pause”.

It seems I know what I want to say but something happens between the old grey matter and the nerves supplying my eyes, tongue, and fingers. A cross eyed, tongue tangled thumb pusher on a keyboard does not a typist make. We won’t even go near the cross legged, timpy toed and knock kneed walk which sends you in crooked circles so that you still bump into everything, even if it is nailed down! (A moment’s pause, please).

Now, that the movement part of the hilarity is done we add to the mixture a syrupy dollop or three of cortisone. Great for easing tight, tense muscles and tendons….  uhuh, uhuh. My head wants to wobble like a flexible piece of cardboard. Super for baby dribbles whilst eating or drinking – I kid you not.  Please, excuse me, A moment’s pause.

So, that’s my embarrassing explanation and the need for “A moment’s pause”.  Regular broadcasts will resume tomorrow. I have some wonderful tipsy eyed weaving photos, although my roped in typist and able bodied cane (Ray) assures me I’m the only one who will see the shmearing.  (Goody goody!)

So to finish my tale of woe and “A Moments Pause”….

FORGIVENESS_n

With love and appreciation for your generosity.

Ciao, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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“There are as many worlds as there are kinds of days, and as an opal changes its colors and its fire to match the nature of a day, so do I.”
― John Steinbeck

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Despite the fact that I was relieved I wouldn’t be going on further tours with Cherylane, I still felt let down over how things had turned out. I spent quite some time wondering if I was, in fact, totally wrong about that I should be doing with myself.  In short, I began to wonder if I was meant to be following ‘this’ spiritual path. It didn’t help when I read about her doing her tours and going on a TV show, which she won. I couldn’t help but think of the Jekyll and Hyde and wondered what her adoring fans would think if they knew the real person. But being a bitch doesn’t change what she did and I didn’t want that as part of who I was so I let it ride.

Whether it was simply knowing I didn’t have to go on the road again, or doubting what I should be doing I found myself in a growing amount of pain. In fact it seemed to become substantially worse overnight, each night!  The best the doctors could come up with was… the usual STRESS! Then finally it was decided I had Chronic Fatigue, a name,  but totally unhelpful diagnosis. It appeared that after acknowledging I had CF that I was to ‘learn to live with it’. Rest was all I could do, that and whatever was within my ability to do without causing a flare up. I really love the “live with it” attitude I hear so often. If you’ve got a,b,or c, “accept it”, “learn to live with it” because “it is what it is”.  I must have missed out on the Saint instructions. I’m still struggling to accept the status quo. I feel if I do then I will sink into oblivion.

image from myjustliving.com

Bumping into a friend from my old spiritual circle was a turning point in many ways. I began going to a new circle she was running and the meditations were both soothing and enlightening, Apart from the rampant tiredness which annoyed me when I was meditating, the injury to my neck made it almost impossible to keep my head upright. If I rested my head back on the chair there was always the possibility I would fall asleep.  I was relieved when I was told to stop worrying about it – if I fell asleep I would still benefit from the meditation and Spirit were helping me to heal.  The relief was huge. Guilt over something outside your control can be devastating, especially if you are made to feel you are showing a lack of respect for something outside your control.

I started back with the healing group also and continued my Melchizedek training. It’s difficult to describe the experiences and feelings from the healing and the meditations we did. It felt as though I traveled backwards and forwards in time and space and during the healing, into and through the body. It was mind-blowing to put it mildly. At times I would end the meditations and healings in tears at the incredible things I saw and felt.  Whatever had happened before, I felt I was where I should be. I should add that these experiences occurred when I was giving as well as receiving healing. At least  many of the people I gave healings to said this to me.

There was a continued ‘presence’ of spirit around me. I could sense Dad’s presence by scent and he seemed to be spending more and more time with me. I would hear him calling in my sleep which seemed odd when I knew he had already passed over. Then I realised that each time Dad’s presence was the most strong were the times Mum was having an attack or was ill. Time was passing and I felt an urgency that the one thing I didn’t want to happen was drawing closer.

After my divorce I had eventually remarried. (Some lessons are hard to learn). The honeymoon period hadn’t lasted very long and things had been rocky for a while. Tensions had mounted whilst I was traveling with Cherylane and I had a household of discontent, and it wasn’t solely mine!  I started a small business working from home, healing and card reading which was working out fine. I could limit the clients to how many I knew I could manage so it didn’t overly concern me that it was only slowly growing.  There was a great deal of satisfaction as my skills at healing and accuracy with readings continued to grow. Being at home seemed to ease some of the tensions there, even if they didn’t help my health very much.

I felt that I needed to remain available, but if asked I would have been hard pressed to give anyone an explanation. Meanwhile the pain intensified. I had my gallbladder removed and was disappointed it didn’t help my health improve. It reminded me of my near death experience, well as close to one as I think I’ve had. This happened when my children were both in Primary School. If you’d like to catch up on my near death experience. Just follow the link.

There was an intense feeling of momentous change which left me feeling uncomfortable. I suspected what was coming and desperately wanted to avoid it. So I prayed, for the first time in a very long time, very selfishly, for myself. At least that’s how it felt to me. If  my prayers were answered it was not how I expected, but then they rarely are.

image from embracethechildrennj.webs.com

“Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God.” ~Author Unknown

Blessings,  Susan xx

Next week – Old Doors Close

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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