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Posts Tagged ‘Higher Self’

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” Aldous Huxley

The departure from Israel was much smoother than anything to date. So smooth that I thought I was dreaming, or perhaps it simply didn’t worry me any longer. I was catching a plane to Athens, so perhaps that made the difference?  Whatever the reason, I was ensconced in a delightful business class seat and the trip was relaxing and I zoned out fairly quickly.

On my arrival in Athens I stowed my “extra’ baggage in short-term storage. The guys there were so helpful and it was quickly done. It was certainly easier moving around with just one bag!

Athens was a brief stop. A few days to catch my breath and reacquaint myself with the Acropolis and the sites around town. I was still very much in my introspective state and was aware of the energies as I wandered around. I was still in this wonderful place of accepting whatever happened and the expanded feel of energy as I wandered around was magical.

Even though I had only a small amount of time I felt no urging to run around trying to see everything. It was more important to capture the feel of the places I visited. I saw the Acropolis and Parthenon again, the National Gardens, and Syntagma Square. It was a peaceful bubble amidst the hustle and bustle of the frenetic pace of Athens.

I was leaving Athens for another unknown experience, Geneva and eventually Fribourg, Switzerland.

I was meeting a friend in Geneva, someone I met through an overseas Pen Pal site a few years earlier. Still it was a little nerve-wracking as I asked him how I would pick him out of the crowd. “Just look for the pink shirt” I was advised, and I must admit it didn’t really help with the nervous anticipation. At least I only had one bag to “man handle” and I went through the airport so quickly I wondered what was happening. The Swiss seemed so “laid back” after the high tension of the Middle East.

#InSearchof

The BMW 6 series fast and hot!

As I left the airport proper, not having seen my friend, I saw this very tall person who looked exactly like his photos, dressed in a pink shirt next to his hot car. His two door BMW had the top down and I could see the beautiful face of a Sky Terrier peering over the seat. Oh – heaven and sadness all at once. I realised I must have looked a fright in my very casual but comfortable travel wear. However, that’s how I was and it made me, in my joggers, look like a dwarf next to my six-foot six tailored friend. Suitcase stowed away we set off – WITHOUT SEATBELTS FASTENED!

I was horrified and bemused as he explained that they weren’t used, unless the police were around. (But there was one, at least an ex-police officer, in the car!).   The drive was exhilarating as we sped (yes sped) along the main road through the byways of Geneva to reach his home.  As the car stopped outside this innocuous home, where I had agreed to spend the night, I was feeling a little apprehensive but so relaxed at the brisk temperature and the beautiful sight of spring bulbs in flower.  Memories on England sped through my mind.

 

Through the front door I was given my next breath-taking surprise. The entrance was so deceptive and inside I found a veritable mansion. I felt so under dressed, and in need of a shower and an elegant dress. Well the shower was easy, but the dress not so easy. All my good clothes which I had carried around needlessly were now in storage at the airport!  So I settled for a good change of clothes and some reasonable shoes and made myself ready to find my way through this enormous house to the computer room.

Since he was in the computer business, in a large way I should add, there were computers on computers and at least six working machines. By that I mean all going on different programs. It was an enormous array and he could follow all of them. (Feeling very below par as I struggle to get my computer to do basic things for me.)

I had my next surprise over freshly brewed coffee. I had totally lost track of days and dates and arrived there expecting just another Friday. Yes it was, but it was also Good Friday, and everything was closed. (Great timing Susan). After a few phone calls we were faced with the fact that dinner in Geneva was out of the question. Not a problem I was told, we will go to France for dinner! What?! France! How!  We drive over the border, just bring your passport.

So we set off for France. Now I admit I am geographically challenged and I had no idea where I was going. Of course France and Switzerland share the same border. A short drive in the twilight and we had crossed the border without any fuss. Drat! I had not been able to get my passport stamped in Geneva (not done due to their status) and because we weren’t stopped, no French stamp either.  Oh well. My next surprise was the number of dogs allowed inside the restaurant. It seemed almost every other table had a pooch sitting quietly under the table – or next to it.

 

#InSearchof

image from nickhardcastle.wordpress.com

It was a big day and due to my insomnia issue I was still wide awake when we returned to his home. We watched clips on the hoax or not of the Twin Towers and the plight of Palestinians and the harshness of the Israelis. It was an interesting evening to say the very least. After a final cup of coffee, very late in the morning I actually felt a little sleepy – jet lag I assumed. I was advised to take a glass of water with me as he would be setting all the house alarms and once in the bedroom wing, the door would be alarmed.

I was alarmed – I am a night wanderer and I was being told I would be in one tiny wing of bedrooms and unable to leave. No! I trusted this gentleman and would have to content myself with iPod and book! The slate shower was much colder to enter so late in the morning as it had absorbed the chill from the air, but the hot water was magnificent. The bed was so soft and warm under the doona that I eventually fell asleep.

Unbelievable! I slept in! Not only did I sleep in, it was 9am when I woke up!  I was so embarrassed and hurried to get ready so I could leave my room and see my host, who had volunteered to drive me to Fribourg rather than catch the train.  Yet it was no trouble, I had a leisurely breakfast with more freshly brewed coffee, an entrancing walk through the grounds of his house, entranced by all the spring bulbs growing freely throughout his lawn before we decided to leave and head for Fribourg.

We drove with the top down all the way, but it’s what happened along the way that was so unexpected.

 

Next week…..Fribourg and Home.

 

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

 

If you would like to read more of the story, here ar a few of the earlier parts to the story….

In search of… Part 21

In Search of…Part 20

In Search of…Part 19

 

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sunrise
Whatever you do or dream you can do – begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Until the middle of November we are in a time of working through old hurts, pain from the past, especially related to family issues, and I haven’t been immune to this process.  In case anyone is wondering how I know, I’ve felt mired in the past, immersed in sadness and making life unpleasant for my husband.

I’m presuming the later since he wouldn’t admit it. His response to my many apologies for my miserable attitude was simply, “I love you, I’m your husband and I want to be here for you”. Pretty cool, huh. I know I’m one very loved and lucky woman.
For myself it’s felt pretty uncomfortable.  I don’t know if I’ve managed to clear all the old hurts and sadness but I’ve certainly made a huge start.  Yesterday I started writing. It was going to be a small blog, I wasn’t in the right head space, or so I thought, to write anything larger.  Then my fingers started to run across the keyboard and my mind was in neutral.  I wasn’t thinking about what I was writing about. It felt as though it was being dredged from somewhere deep inside, a place which was full of pain and anguish and carefully hidden away from the world. My first taste of automatic writing.

ghost blog writer
image courtesy of  sem-group.net

I’m not really a sharer when it comes to those deep personal issues. Experience had taught me it wasn’t a good idea.  For most of my adult life I’ve very carefully crafted a vault, deep and wide, secured by unbreakable walls and locked in so many different ways without keys that I’d supposed no-one would be able to get in there and see what I was hiding there. Every hurt, every pain and disappointment, and every loss had been shoved, squished and poked in there and the lid battened down tight. I didn’t want to go there or look into that abyss so why would anyone else?

floating in the abyss
image courtesy of  ivonnemontijo.wordpress.com

However, for the past week or more I’ve floated in that self-same abyss during my sleepless nights and during my unwatched waking moments.   I’ve avoided answering the question of “what’s bothering you?” and tried to pretend all was well.  It appears my Higher Self had other ideas in mind. So I began  my blog and my fingers did the walking and talking.  When I had finished I knew, on some deep visceral level that it was time to let it out. It didn’t matter if anyone else read it, (except my husband),  but it was a huge release for me.

This morning I woke up in agony. Quite laughable really, but all it meant was the old pain was working its way out too. So much pain carried for so long, is it any wonder it felt so bad.  The cups of tea, lashings of hugs and love and I knew it was time to do this. I’ve really made a start to clear all that old and buried pain and agony out. I don’t need to hold onto it any longer. I’m in a safe place now and I have someone I trust to lean on and love me and let this horror loose and clear it to “the light”.

I feel lighter than I have for many years. Thank you Ray for loving me and providing a safe haven for me to “let go” and thank you Nicole Cody, for giving me so many tools and the courage to let the past go.  (The Full Moon Releasing and Becoming Ceremonies have been an unbelievable ‘key’).  Tomorrow is a brighter day, I know there are many more ‘releasings’ to happen but I know that I can do it now.  THAT, is a truly awesome feeling.

have a beautiful day
image courtesy of  mycommentspace.com

“If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
Norman Vincent Peale

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