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Posts Tagged ‘#Life lessons’

#TimegoesBy #LifeLesson

Golden Sorceress, Golden Dragon

 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” –Mary Anne Radmacher

It was never my intention to stop writing. Yet time rolls by like a river, never stopping and sometimes sweeping all in its path. Whether by intention or design I have been absent and I cannot say that I have been overwhelmed by vastly important things.

Each day I lament that another day has passed and no word had been placed on paper, no post scheduled, nothing mapped out for future comment. Simply the majestic revolution of the earth and the passing of time as it always has since the earth began. Each day I would ask myself “Why?” I would ask my Guides, “Why?” Silence was my reply.

Life continued. This beaten up hulk simply shrunk further into herself, asking the same questions…. “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” “What am I supposed to do?” I also asked myself if I was failing or was this meant to be. Apparent silence was my answer. Yet the need to communicate was still there, I simply lost faith in myself that I have anything to say which anyone would find interesting.

I learned that even if no-one else found my words interesting, it was important that I put them “out there”, for my benefit if for no-one else. After all, I had begun my blog, not with the intention of garnering a large audience, not even if anyone else was going to listen to what I said, and so I tried to gather my courage from the far reaches and start once more.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

soulevolutioncenter.com.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since it is important, I need to answer a simple question – Why did I stop writing at all? It wasn’t simply that I lost faith in myself as a writer, or that people didn’t want to hear what I had to say. It was, in fact, the belief that I was somehow a fraud. Why should that make a difference for after all, writers make up their stories for a multitude of reasons? They receive critical comments which may be soul destroying yet they continue because they believe in themselves.

Told I was lost in my “victimhood” and people were bored with the story, the negativity and complaints had to stop. I was devastated. Victimhood? How had that come up? It hadn’t I believe, and yet the comment was true. I was and am a victim and the comment, true though it was, hurt more than I had been prepared to hear. I was blindsided by it. I knew, deep inside that I was drowning in my life and internally complained about my lack of growth towards a better future. Only two people were aware of these facts, and only one made this statement.

Like most when faced with such a needlessly cruel attack at the time and place this occurred, I needed the question answered. Who said these things and how could they know what had occurred?

The bald truth! I had been an abused wife and stupidly had failed to recognise it like so many others. Yes, I’d spoken with professionals and remained as lost as I had before I’d spoken with them. Friends? I had none and even now I have only a small few. Trust is a hard commodity to offer. It’s true, it leaves you negative and perhaps, deep down, a complainer, yet I hoped, believed, I kept it locked away. I know I didn’t talk about it since I find it shameful and embarrassing.

Perhaps worst of all, this lightning bolt of understanding occurred at a time when I was struggling with the death of my mother. Even she had been told only bare brushstrokes of the circumstances, which still leave me feeling ill and ashamed.

 #TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I would appreciate the opportunity to know and understand where the criticism came from. I would be grateful for the understanding of how to move through this to a happier place, untroubled by these thoughts. Yet, there is one further aspect to this “victimhood” which I have kept hidden.

The one person I expected to protect me, let me down. I went from being a self-sustained person with sufficient means to ensure a comfortable life to someone who has to fear losing my home, at any moment. The small amount of money I had in a Superannuation account, which was not to be “violated” is bleeding.

I feel trapped and alone. I feel as if I’ve been duped and conned and I have no-one to talk to. There is no easy exit. Can I create a new life of some kind? I am so tired, so despairing of making yet another mistake that I am frozen in place. This is where I’d prayed my Guide would help me to learn and grow. The pain of that one sentence reverberates daily.

Look to the future…..that is so difficult.

If “you” do read my words, I pray that you have the time and grace to let me know exactly where I “went wrong” at that time. How do I put all this behind me and move forward – alone – since I no longer feel that I can ask for your help? I trusted you. You gave me an unbelievable gift. You failed to see it but I was so overwhelmingly grateful that my paltry words and gestures of thanks went unnoticed.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You have been there” which is why you understand. I wonder if you had someone to help you get through it? Family? Sisters, father, mother? I have none. No-one!

I’ve listened. As a “wake up call” it was like a fishwife gutting the catch. Clinically efficient. Yet still I read your posts first each day. Rubbing more salt into a raw wound. Yes, I pray, I meditate and ask for guidance. I also ask for a Mentor to offer to guide me through this so that I can take my place in the world. The place I know I own and belong in. You taught me that.

In the immortal words of David Bowie (Labyrinth), “Life can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.”

As always I shall admire you for all you have been through, and wish that you could be the Mentor I was supposed to find. Until then I will do the best I can do. Is that not what we are asked for? Being the best version of ourselves that we can?

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons
colourful bejewelled dragons  

 “There are times in my life when I have been medicine for some while poison for others. I used to think I was a victim of my story until I realized the truth; that I am the creator of my story. I choose what type of person I will be and what type of impact I will leave on others. I will never choose the destructive path of self and outward victimization again.”

Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Let’s see how it all plays out.

Blessings, Susan. ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

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“Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage — it can be delightful.”

George Bernard Shaw from his book “Back to Methuselah.”

 

Life is complex. It is rarely straight forward. Each time we look around we find that things have been either subtly changed or intricately woven into a complex tapestry. Is it strange therefore to begin to wonder the reason for this apparent random upheaval of life? Life is a character building exercise and a spiritual means of growth and learning.

Former Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser, (1975 – 1983) coined the phrase “Life wasn’t meant to be easy” in 1983. Using only the first line made it sound somewhat unsympathetic, perhaps in keeping with the persona of Mr Fraser. As far as it goes, this simple statement is infuriating. Think about it for a moment. Such a simple statement of apparent fact says so much more. Each day we are faced with a multitude if decisions and situations which we have to solve in order to progress through our days.

If we accept the premise this simple statement provides we are accepting that, irrespective of what we do, life is going to be difficult. It has cemented into our sub conscious the probability that we have to fail at what we are doing, or if not fail, then we will have a really difficult time in achieving our goal. We “have” to struggle.

 

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” -Thornton Wilder

All of life, from its inception to its last hurrah, can be filled with challenges of one kind or another. This isn’t simply aimed at an individual or a select group of people either. It can also include each and every country on the planet. Can you envision what could happen if each country developed a mindset that “Life wasn’t meant to be easy?”

We see on a daily basis the armed conflicts on a global scale, the individual and group murders, brutal assaults and acts of cruelty and terror on a major and minor scale, and if we accept the premise of this simple statement, it could be the single, most heinous excuse for every unimaginable horror which could be perpetrated.

Yet, it need not be this way. “Life wasn’t meant to be easy” because “Life is easy”. As Shaw said, but take courage — it can be delightful.” I can hear the sounds of derision even now. There is no-one breathing down our necks to make life difficult. There is no-one telling us we have to make decisions which will ensure life be will be a struggle day by day. It is true that there are horrendous events occurring each day. There are people dying as you read this, some in the most sickening manner which could be imagined. Does it have to be this way?

Do people have to be forced to live on the streets, to spend days and nights with little or no food or warmth? Do entire countries or factions need to spend their days and nights contemplating the destruction of anyone who has different ideas to theirs?

#This is Life

you are always in my heart

“You connect yourself to the viewer by sharing something that is inside of you that connects with something inside of him. All you have as your guide is that you know what moves you.” -Steven Brust

These questions can reduced to an even simpler, single question, “Does this person, or these people, these countries or factions, have the right or necessity to destroy anyone’s life? We all have an unassailable right to life, to make our own decisions and choose whether we will have a life of struggle, strife and woe or a life filled with blessings, light and ease.

It can most definitely be challenging and so it should be. Anything which we find too easy to obtain or secure, to earn or to simply be, is rarely valued. It seems that we need to feel that we have earned our right to have a sense of ease in our lives. In this, there may be some truth.

As a spirit in human form we choose what lessons we have come to this place, our home, planet earth, to learn and also how we are going to do this. There are many reasons why these lessons may be so ‘hard’. There is one school of thought which says that the harder the lesson the more we learn from it and the less time we have to spend earning our “credits” in the school of life. I’m not entirely convinced it can be as simple as this, but it does make a certain skewed logic.

Perhaps I need to have a logical reason for why things happen the way they do. The shooting down of a plane of innocent travellers. The continued conflicts around the globe which create arguments on a daily basis – the beginnings of the next conflagration.

I don’t have the answers to even the simple question of “Why is life not meant to be easy?” All I have is the sometimes tremulous belief that life is….life. In all its good and bad, the beauty and horror, it is as it is. Whether it is meant to be or not starts to become meaningless.

As George Bernard Shaw said, “Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage — it can be delightful.”

Yes, amidst the horror, “life can be delightful”. I’m happy with that.

May all your days be delightful.

#This is Life

image courtesy of dontgiveupworld.com

 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” -Elizabeth Kubler Ross

 

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, August 2014

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#Acceptance

image from mindfulnessworkshops.dk –

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.”
C. JoyBell C.

One of the biggest lessons we have to learn is that of acceptance.

  • Acceptance of who we are.
  • Acceptance of who someone else is.
  • Acceptance that what has occurred is in the past, and if we let it go it has no power over us. Acceptance, it can be easy or it can be hard. Yet once we have learned it, we can be literally set free. Free from the pains of the past and released into a brighter today and tomorrow.

Part of my training through life has been to analyse everything which had or was occurring and determine what course of action should be taken as a result of that. Whilst that is good, as far as it goes, it can lead to an immense amount of heartache. In analysing everything for motive and purpose we can easily forget the personal, the individual in the events. Motivation for why things occur can muddy the waters even further, leading you in ever increasing circles until you reach a state of information overload and decisions, if needed, become even harder to reach. It  can also tend to make you hold o to the painful memories as a way of reminding yourself not to make the same mistakes again. We inflict pain on ourselves. Insanity!

#Acceptance

image from yogagoddess.us –

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”
Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale

~

Acceptance of Who We Are.

That shouldn’t be so difficult, should it? Yet some of us twist and turn on the whim of others trying to find out if we are acceptable. In the never ending pursuit of finding ourselves acceptable, to ourselves or to someone else we forget the greatest gift of all, our innate selves. In this entire Universe there is only one person with our DNA, our ways, mannerisms, thoughts and feelings. We are unique, a fact we often overlook or are coerced into not seeing. We forget that we do not have to be measured by the rules or guidelines of someone else. We may not be perfect to them, but we are who we are.  Perfectionism may be an ideal to some, but it can be sterile and devoid of real feeling and emotion.  Accept who you are, as a work in progress and doing the best you can at any given time. That is all that is truly asked of us, and it is beautiful.

#Acceptance

image from rediscoveredfamilies.com

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”
Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

 

Acceptance of who someone else is.

It is perhaps a conundrum of life itself that if we are able to accept who we are, then we are often unable to accept others, since we project the best of ourselves onto others and may find them lacking. Of course, the reverse is also true, in that projecting the least acceptable of ourselves onto someone else, may mean that we accept far less from someone than we deserve.  Life is a journey, at times straight forward and at others immensely complex. Just like people.  If we accept the premise that we, as an individual, are always acceptable, doing the best we can at any given time, then we must also extend that to others. How can we expect more of others than we are willing to accept and give of ourselves?  We are all human beings, but we are beautiful Spirits having a human experience. Learning can be messy and we can only work through the labyrinth one step at a time. Accepting the successes and failures is what makes is who we are. Unique.

#Acceptance

image from playingwiththeuniverse.blogspot.com –

“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

~

Acceptance that what has occurred is in the past, and if we let it go it has no power over us.

So many people have scars they carry for a lifetime over what has happened in the past. Like a festering sore we allow it to continually stab at us, reminding us of failures, times we didn’t reach our best, times we let someone down and they suffered as a result. Yet the truth is, it doesn’t matter. We can only expect of ourselves, of others, the best that is possible in that particular moment. In That Moment!  In  fact we can only expect if ourselves, projecting our expectations on others is unfair as it takes away their free will and ability to earn.

What we learn in a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime after that, cannot change what has gone before. Not by one iota. Why then carry this enormous weight with which to punish yourself? If you can say to yourself, everything that has happened, what I have done, what others have done, forms the fabric of my past. The cloth that I weave now may look different to the one I wove before.  Yet it is still perfect in its difference. It is unique, as I am.

The measure of life is change. Look back and read the lessons you have learned from your past. Not with regret or self-flagellation, or blame of others, but as a lesson learned and phfft….. let it go. The past has already gone and can no longer affect you unless you allow it to.

Face forward and greet the day. The present, the only portion of time we can have any effect on, for the future is yet to appear. Make peace with the past. Accept you, the people who populate your past and the fabric of your past. Accept all that has been as a lesson, and look to the bright future, armed with the knowledge accepting the past has granted you.  It has also released you from the chains which helped keep you shackled to painful memories. Acceptance helps remove the pain. I know because I have been there and can vouch that it works.

Acceptance – is the key word to having a wonderful life.

#Acceptance

image from lifecorked.com

“All that is left to bring you pain, are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself; always afraid that your memories will incapacitate you, and they will if you continue to bury them.”
J.D. Stroube, Caged in Darkness

May you find your Acceptance in life and look forward to a bright future.

Blessings,  Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#Which way Now?

Celtic Goddess Epona… Facebook.com

“Finding oneself and one’s path is like waking up on a foggy day. Be patient, and presently the fog will clear and that which has always been there can be seen. The path is already there to follow”
Rasheed Ogunlaru, Soul Trader: Putting the Heart Back into Your Business
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it, Do not believe simply because it has been handed down for many generations. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is written in the Holy Scriptures.  Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of teachers, elders , or wise men. Believe only after careful observation and analysis, when you find that it agrees with reason, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all. Then accept it and live up to it.”
Buddha

There comes a time, in everyone’s life, when the questions far outweigh the answers.  This is the time when we need to look to other than the traditional fields for our answers. In many cases it may be that the answer lies in the most unimaginable places, within ourselves. Even then, they may be found not in our logical and rational mind.

We reach a time when we have to relinquish the hold on all that is safe and known and take a leap into the great unknown in search of these answers. It is only the “great unknown” because we have turned our back on the unknown, the vastness of our existence for all that is safe and comfortable. It may be we have no wish to stretch our minds into areas we are unfamiliar with.

Yet, it is within these unfamiliar landscapes that our minds and hearts open. Our souls flower and the heady scent we perceive is the beauty and grandeur of our Spiritual legacy. It is the place where colours have a more vibrant hue, the scents have a more delightful aroma and the images we see are not only more ‘fantastical’ they are also more familiar than anything we may dream in our everyday lives.

What has happened is that our incredible minds have opened to wonders we once had and which we have forgotten but are now returning. If we are open to the idea that we can be more than we are now, we can be all that it is possible for us to be. We can become limitless instead of limited!

Within the limitless abilities we can find are the abilities to cure the ills of the world, if we are willing to accept them. These are strange ideas but ones I feel comfortable and happy to accept as my birthright as a Spirit living in a physical body. The ills we are plagued with are manifestations within the physical body. Therefore, accepting and learning to use the abilities given on the Spiritual plane, we are able to ‘cure’ or eradicate these ailments, if our Spirit and purpose are in alignment.

These may be strange thoughts, alien thoughts, but I hope they may resonate within you. I hope that they may find a home in your consciousness and allow us all to move forward, enlightened and lightened of the heaviness of this physical plane.

“Don’t ask what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Harold Thurman Whitman

Blessings, Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#My Husband, # My Lover, # My Friend

Ray and I on our wedding day May 11, 2011

“This is what our love is––a sacred pattern of unbroken unity sewn flawlessly invisible inside all other images, thoughts, smells, and sounds.”   Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams
My Husband, My Lover, My Friend

It’s been a rough week here and although I’ve tried to play it down, inside my head and in my posts, there have been times when the thought of simply ‘giving up’ wasn’t far away.  It’s very difficult to remain positive when you wake up and the moment of consciousness brings the awful knowledge that your entire body is screaming in agony.

It’s becoming a real nightmare, a waking nightmare and this morning was the worst to date. Let me explain, although it’s really hard for me to write this. I cannot move my legs, body, head or shoulders. I am fortunate that my hands and lower arms appear to be okay. I wake up feeling as though I’m in a roasting oven, on well done!  I cannot push the covers off and I cannot get out of bed, (I can’t move).

#My Husband, # My Lover, # My Friend

image from autobio-blogs.plazilla.com

I’ve tried everything I can think of to get out of bed without waking my husband, especially as sometimes I wake really early and I’m ruining his rest. He needs it, he has to look after someone who is cranky because she can’t do the things she has previously done alone and I’m not in the right head space to “give in gracefully” and acknowledge that for the moment, this has to be my reality.

#My Huasband, # My Lover,#  My Friend

image from http://www.123rf.com Is this what is coming?

So let’s go back to this morning. I had a magnificent sleep, six hours of deep sleep. It’s a shame it was drug enhanced but I can’t fight that any longer either. But, I heard Ray get up and that was enough to wake me.  It was a world of hurt and I had no idea what to do. My entire body was locked in this agonising position and I had to move. I simply had to.

From a mental angle it is full on despair, a waking nightmare I cannot banish. Giving in is against my entire world view. I have always stood my ground, but that has become a joke since I cannot stand. Not first thing in the morning.

The first challenge is getting upright and Ray has to hold my hands and when I say “Pull” he has to pull me upright quickly. This morning I screamed as he did this.  (Going slowly is more painful.) Ray has to slowly pull each leg around until I can reach the floor and then once again, pull me to my feet. He has to make sure I don’t fall backward or forwards or I’ll be on the floor. I’ve mentioned the ‘damned stairs’ before but this morning they almost defeated me. But he wouldn’t let go, nor would he give in and we painfully made our way along the corridor.

#My Husband, #My Lover, #My Friend

image from owlsandorchids.com       Is this all that’s left?

It has brought home the simple dignity chronically ill people suffer which is taken by others as something they just have to get used to. I wonder if, in the same position, they would find it so easy or welcome! Well, we made the journey, back to bed and sitting back brought another stifled scream. (I have some pride left). It was not going to be an easy day. I swore I wouldn’t take the tablets but I was afraid, seriously afraid I might have to call the ambulance.  Maybe it’s the meds but that’s tantamount to throwing in the towel and I’d rather the unthinkable than that.

So, doped up and basically incoherent I remained in a land somewhere between reality and who knows? I do know that after Ray had left I felt someone sitting down and then a cuddling into my legs, but that’s another story.

We decided on a bath, detoxing again, but with added special things Ray thought up. He helped me to the main bathroom, (when we build I’m having a bath in the en suite!) and the most beautiful sight met my eyes. My special bath salts, lavender-scented had been liberally placed in the bath, extra Epsom salts, my coconut body wash, coconut scented body cream, candles, my bath pillow and my iPod. I could have cried. It was exquisite – and I forget to get a photo so this will have to do…

How can something so wonderful be so painful? Getting in and lying back caused another loud groan, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me. (Note to self – larger bath needed in our en suite). It was hot, as it needed to be and as I felt the warmth slowly seeping into my body, I felt a wonderful feeling enveloping me. I got my iPod and some meditation music and I was left in peaceful silence.

I came back to myself as the water lost its heat but over an hour had passed and I was a wrinkled prune – almost. Helped out and dried off and then the final surprise, the beautiful coconut butter lotion… He carefully and slowly rubbed it in from my toes to my neck and down my back. I had the most incredible massage of my back. His magical fingers caressed the painful knots and tender spots and relaxed the rest of my back. I was covered from head to toe with lotion and I felt amazing. Every muscle had turned to jelly.

Helping me dress and back upstairs we had a beautiful cup of tea.

I realised how lucky I was. I found in one inexplicable gift from the Universe, my soul mate who is my husband, my lover and my best friend. The pain notwithstanding, I realise I’m so darned lucky. To be loved and accepted by such a wonderful man, someone who not only stands by me, but helps me through my nightmare is a rare blessing. I don’t make it easy on him at times and my guilt becomes another torment. I feel stuck in this limbo, yet supported by a magical earth angel.

What more can I say? Love is beautiful and found in unexpected place and at unusual times. Enjoy it anytime you can.

#My Husband, #My Lover, #My Friend

image from 2guysphoto.wordpress.com

I feel my love flowing to all my friends out here, and to all the people everywhere. Love will eventually change our world. It is too great to ignore forever.

Blessings and love to all.

Susan x

© Susan Jamieson  2014

~

For the Love of My Life and for the Love of Your Lives, whoever they may be.

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