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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

#PuppyRules

“In our heart love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation; it comes in times of frustration or desperation. So when you feel it and have it, don’t let it go because it’s hard to find love.”   Author unknown

 

#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.”   Dean Koontz, False Memory

Some seven weeks ago I was thrilled to finally receive my beautiful, bouncing, bundle of joy! Now before anyone who knows me becomes convinced I am finally ready for a place on the funny farm, let me explain. My bundle of joy is a beautiful Mini Fox Terrier called Bella. She is a bouncing bundle of joy in every sense of every word. I am convinced that at times she truly has springs in her legs as she bounces beside me filled with mischief or glee.

My long wait for her has taken me through many a strange journey. I was determined after I lost my last dog, another Mini Foxie, Rusty, almost seven years ago, that I would never have another dog. He had been my constant and faithful companion for over eighteen years. He had been my confidant and protector for all that time and when he passed, peacefully, the heartbreak was more than I could handle. He was a part of my family and had seen me through some of the worst times in my life, thus far.

 

#PuppyRules

Looking for trouble – “Mum, Are you sure I can’t pull something out?”

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Yet there was always that feeling of emptiness. The odd feeling that something was missing and more and more often, I found myself detouring into pet shops and gazing wistfully at the puppies. Finally I couldn’t fail to understand the message, Rusty was telling me it was time to find another friend. So the search began.

I scoured the rescue refuges and came away more disheartened by the week. It seems that in Queensland the only dogs not centenarians, by dog standards at least, were the size of horses. Really! Wolfhound x Staghound cross, Staghound x Rhodesian Ridgeback cross, Wolfhound x Ridgeback cross and on and on. They would be gigantic and in the city was no place for a huge dog. Not only that but I knew they would break my back (slight exaggeration only) as soon as they pulled on the leash.

I began to wonder if I was meant to have a dog at all as I began searching for breeders and could find none. When I did, no puppies for the foreseeable future. It appeared all the females were being given a break from breeding at the same time. Was this a message to wait longer?

Now, whilst this may sound out-of-place, I realised that this delay was simply another example of “Divine Timing”. When the right puppy was there for me I would find him or her. Conversely, as it occurs to me now, when I was absolutely ready then the right dog would be there for me.

Bella was born on November 5 last year, an odd date for me since it always brings back memories of Bonfire night and the Gunpowder Plot in England.

 

#PuppyRules

“I love you, Mum”

 “Not a single creature on Earth has more or less right to be here.”   —  Anthony Douglas Williams

At nine weeks of age she barely covered my two palms, a truly small bundle of joy. Yet she filled my heart with a deep protective love and when she curled up on my lap, trusting and filled with love, I could deny my ‘baby’ nothing. Well within reason. I could almost hear Rusty telling her of the mischievous things he did and which she copied so faithfully. Running off with my slipper and hiding it where I would find her curled up asleep! The beautiful peep show as she pretended to be asleep and not hear me. It felt as though a part of my heart was suddenly swelling with this amazing joy and happiness. I was so grateful I had waited as long as I had.

 

#PuppyRules

Bella, the gardening Guru!

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”    ― Lao Tzu

Little Bella, who at 16 weeks weighs just 1.6kg with harness and lead dangling, had her final vaccination two days ago. St the vet’s insistence she was also given the 12 month heartworm vaccine. Having seen what heartworm can do to a dog I am in favour of the vaccination, previously done by monthly tablet. But she is still very small and was due one vaccination already. My concerns were overridden with a peremptory “Yes, she could have had this at 12 weeks!”

Since she had my precious cargo already clutched in her hands, it felt as though I was a hysterical “mother”. Bella had her two vaccinations and nails clipped before being returned to us looking very agitated. When we reached the car and I settled her on my lap her tiny eyes drooped shut immediately. Her head was like a ball of molten lava and the red hue of her temperature was livid through her short fur.

Bella has been almost “out of it” for two days, barely drinking and vomiting anything we attempted to feed her. This of course was after the three, almost projectile vomits after the vaccination.

I realise I sound melodramatic but thus tiny bundle has tied her chains around my heart as surely as Rusty had. If anything should happen to her… it would feel like losing a member of my family. She is a member of my family. So whilst I have done little bits here and there to this I’ve been preoccupied with her.

“Love lets no connection between you become stronger than you allow it.” -Susan Jamieson
#PuppyRules

“Can I sleep here Mum?”

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.”
Milan Kundera

I am a dog lover and I love my dog. In that I am unashamed. I hope you understand my story and my quick disappearance again.

 

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

 

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#ifnotnowwhen

If not me, who? And if not now, when?  Mikhail Gorbachev

 

 Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.   Winston Churchill  

#Ifnotnowwhen

Image courtesy of swbusiness.com.au

I’ve sat and looked at this screen, day after day and hour by hour, so unsure of what to say. It’s a frightening thing, being so unsure of what to say. I know that in what seems a lifetime ago, the words tripped over themselves trying to get onto the page. Perhaps even more frightening is being afraid that what I say is just taking up someone’s time without purpose.

OMG I thought, what if, after all this dithering around, what I write is just a waste of time. Now I realise that it isn’t. I’m writing for myself at the moment. I have to, at least until my “mojo” decides to get itself together and understands that this is what writing is all about. The courage to keep talking about what I think about – whether it’s a story or a “simple blog” – is the key to the magic.

So, for today it’s a simple blurb to say “hello”, “I’m here, not quite sure if you will hear me or not, but that’s okay. I’ve made the first step, a giant leap for me today”

#Ifnotnowwhen

Image courtesy cover_not_living_in_fear..anon

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”
Alysha Speer

I’ve read some amazing blogs during my “sabbatical” which have made me hope to visit strange and wonderful places, see the wide vistas, empty ranges and places filled with flora and fauna I have never seen before. There are too many writers out there to thank for this inspiration, yet to one and all I say a heartfelt “Thank You, I will visit these places, not just in my mind from your words and photos, but in person, to feel and experience these people and places”.

I’ve read about your battles with your demons, whatever they are. I’ve felt the strength you’ve shown in writing about it. I’ve felt my struggles are pitiful when aligned next to yours – and in the end I know that I have to put that aside too. We all have a right to our struggles, our physical demons. We can allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by them. We can use the pathos of our situation to keep calling people back, or we can simply say, “Hey, this happened and it can happen to you, so keep going and after you’ve told me about it, leave it and keep going.” Our stories are important – to us, and sometimes to others, so if we are unsure, write for yourselves. Write your hearts blood on the page, your fear, shout out and tell the world, because it’s the silence which is deadly. It’s that simple thing, the silence we strive for at other times which is often holding us back.

The silence of emptiness.

#Ifnotnowwhwen

Image courtesy of maxresdefault

 

“All that is left to bring you pain, are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself; always afraid that your memories will incapacitate you, and they will if you continue to bury them.”
J.D. Stroube, Caged in Darkness

This caught my attention and I thought, Wow, that’s exactly what I was thinking. So I know that I’m not alone.

I’m simply human – I fell off the bandwagon in truth… not once but several times. I have the bruises and scars to show for it! Today was just one more day in the struggle to “be”. It’s boring in its simplicity, my damned back is being a pain in ways I never believed possible. Simplicity itself – I leaned on something which moved when I thought it would stay where it was. I fell… right on top of new bruises from the day before and pain flared majestically through the synapses of my brain once more. I should be used to it, but the odd thing is, you never become blasé about pain. Ask any of the people out there with Fibromyalgia…. I have it and it doesn’t take a holiday, it just decides to let you think it might be going away… til it returns once more.

I realised I said it “majestically flared through new synapses of the brain” and I realise it is that and so much more. Colours you never imagined fire through your vision and logical speech and thought are devoured in an instant.

#Ifnotnowwhen

Courtesy of wildlyfreewoman.net

“I have always been afraid… Always been pretending to follow you closely, always been pretending to sharpen my teeth, when the truth is, I am … scared to death just treading on your shadow.”
Tite Kubo

 

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson 2015

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#TimegoesBy #LifeLesson

Golden Sorceress, Golden Dragon

 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” –Mary Anne Radmacher

It was never my intention to stop writing. Yet time rolls by like a river, never stopping and sometimes sweeping all in its path. Whether by intention or design I have been absent and I cannot say that I have been overwhelmed by vastly important things.

Each day I lament that another day has passed and no word had been placed on paper, no post scheduled, nothing mapped out for future comment. Simply the majestic revolution of the earth and the passing of time as it always has since the earth began. Each day I would ask myself “Why?” I would ask my Guides, “Why?” Silence was my reply.

Life continued. This beaten up hulk simply shrunk further into herself, asking the same questions…. “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” “What am I supposed to do?” I also asked myself if I was failing or was this meant to be. Apparent silence was my answer. Yet the need to communicate was still there, I simply lost faith in myself that I have anything to say which anyone would find interesting.

I learned that even if no-one else found my words interesting, it was important that I put them “out there”, for my benefit if for no-one else. After all, I had begun my blog, not with the intention of garnering a large audience, not even if anyone else was going to listen to what I said, and so I tried to gather my courage from the far reaches and start once more.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

soulevolutioncenter.com.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Since it is important, I need to answer a simple question – Why did I stop writing at all? It wasn’t simply that I lost faith in myself as a writer, or that people didn’t want to hear what I had to say. It was, in fact, the belief that I was somehow a fraud. Why should that make a difference for after all, writers make up their stories for a multitude of reasons? They receive critical comments which may be soul destroying yet they continue because they believe in themselves.

Told I was lost in my “victimhood” and people were bored with the story, the negativity and complaints had to stop. I was devastated. Victimhood? How had that come up? It hadn’t I believe, and yet the comment was true. I was and am a victim and the comment, true though it was, hurt more than I had been prepared to hear. I was blindsided by it. I knew, deep inside that I was drowning in my life and internally complained about my lack of growth towards a better future. Only two people were aware of these facts, and only one made this statement.

Like most when faced with such a needlessly cruel attack at the time and place this occurred, I needed the question answered. Who said these things and how could they know what had occurred?

The bald truth! I had been an abused wife and stupidly had failed to recognise it like so many others. Yes, I’d spoken with professionals and remained as lost as I had before I’d spoken with them. Friends? I had none and even now I have only a small few. Trust is a hard commodity to offer. It’s true, it leaves you negative and perhaps, deep down, a complainer, yet I hoped, believed, I kept it locked away. I know I didn’t talk about it since I find it shameful and embarrassing.

Perhaps worst of all, this lightning bolt of understanding occurred at a time when I was struggling with the death of my mother. Even she had been told only bare brushstrokes of the circumstances, which still leave me feeling ill and ashamed.

 #TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I would appreciate the opportunity to know and understand where the criticism came from. I would be grateful for the understanding of how to move through this to a happier place, untroubled by these thoughts. Yet, there is one further aspect to this “victimhood” which I have kept hidden.

The one person I expected to protect me, let me down. I went from being a self-sustained person with sufficient means to ensure a comfortable life to someone who has to fear losing my home, at any moment. The small amount of money I had in a Superannuation account, which was not to be “violated” is bleeding.

I feel trapped and alone. I feel as if I’ve been duped and conned and I have no-one to talk to. There is no easy exit. Can I create a new life of some kind? I am so tired, so despairing of making yet another mistake that I am frozen in place. This is where I’d prayed my Guide would help me to learn and grow. The pain of that one sentence reverberates daily.

Look to the future…..that is so difficult.

If “you” do read my words, I pray that you have the time and grace to let me know exactly where I “went wrong” at that time. How do I put all this behind me and move forward – alone – since I no longer feel that I can ask for your help? I trusted you. You gave me an unbelievable gift. You failed to see it but I was so overwhelmingly grateful that my paltry words and gestures of thanks went unnoticed.

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons

“You have been there” which is why you understand. I wonder if you had someone to help you get through it? Family? Sisters, father, mother? I have none. No-one!

I’ve listened. As a “wake up call” it was like a fishwife gutting the catch. Clinically efficient. Yet still I read your posts first each day. Rubbing more salt into a raw wound. Yes, I pray, I meditate and ask for guidance. I also ask for a Mentor to offer to guide me through this so that I can take my place in the world. The place I know I own and belong in. You taught me that.

In the immortal words of David Bowie (Labyrinth), “Life can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel.”

As always I shall admire you for all you have been through, and wish that you could be the Mentor I was supposed to find. Until then I will do the best I can do. Is that not what we are asked for? Being the best version of ourselves that we can?

#TimeGoesBy, #LifeLessons
colourful bejewelled dragons  

 “There are times in my life when I have been medicine for some while poison for others. I used to think I was a victim of my story until I realized the truth; that I am the creator of my story. I choose what type of person I will be and what type of impact I will leave on others. I will never choose the destructive path of self and outward victimization again.”

Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Let’s see how it all plays out.

Blessings, Susan. ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2015

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#JustOneHour

Beautiful Orchids

“A garden should make you feel you’ve entered privileged space — a place not just set apart but reverberant — and it seems to me that, to achieve this, the gardener must put some kind of twist on the existing landscape, turn its prose into something nearer poetry.”
Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener’s Education
“There are many paths leading to a garden and many experiences awaiting those who venture in. No matter what your motive—whether to grow healthy, delicious food; spend time outdoors feeling more alive than your desk job allows; help save the planet; find relaxation, solace, or healing; meet your neighbors; get your hands in the sweet earth; or discover for yourself just how abundant and generous nature can be—a garden rarely disappoints. It’s a magnet for life in all its quirky, beautiful forms.”
Jane Shellenberger, Organic Gardener’s Companion: Growing Vegetables in the West

 

Just a brief pause in the daily grind, a short pause between the semi lucidity that appears before the next round of pills need to be taken.

I managed to look through my window whilst there was light outside, in fact as the sun rose above the rooftops. It was not sunrise, but the next best thing. That pause between the flare of sunrise and it’s promise of a golden day and the gentle light that bathes everything before the heat begins. So, I carefully extricated myself from my covers and hobbled out the door. Creeping as best as my limping would allow, an improbable sight, and one worthy of a photo, but that I couldn’t manage.

I opened the doors careful to make no sound lest my gentle hearted jailor nurse would hear and usher me back to bed, scolding me along the way. He has good reason, it’s not been the best of weeks, and all through a silly accident. Time not to dwell there today.

This morning I saw my Lady’s Slipper Orchid out in full bloom, a smorgasbord of shoots twisting together to make a wonderful welcome to the sunshine. Then I spied my Rose of Sharon, such a luscious deep red and I knew I had to take photos.  Those I have to share later, but I have plenty more to share now. My poor Hypericum had suffered in the heat and after a savage haircut to help the new shoots to grow, it was time to think about watering, I could hear my Hippeastrum’s calling.

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”
George Harrison

I hobbled around the house, praying that unwinding the hose wouldn’t waken my husband, as the hose would sit between the windows of our bedroom. Who would think to put it there? No squeaking tap, the fairies are helping today, and we (the fairies and I) enjoyed a glorious hour watering the plants. You could see the fairies jumping between the globules of water and hear the sylphs playing amongst the puddles. They could have played longer, but I, I had to admit it was enough. Everything had been given a good drink.

Time almost ceased to exist as I watered, but eventually we come back to reality.

Hose draped over the holder, I carefully tip toed on those treacherous black tiles, back into the house. I crept around, closing the door so I could sneak inside and type this out. Time for “Pain Killers” is shrieking in my head, well, in my hips and legs, but that’s for another day.

 

Enjoy my brief escape into garden whimsy.

“When told the reason for Daylight Saving time the old Indian said, “Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket.” ~Author Unknown

 

 

Blessings for a Happy Saturday, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#TheMidnightCaller

Death comes calling

 

The Midnight Caller

∼ 

Twas death himself I’m sure

Waiting silently outside my door

Though no door I’ve ever seen

Could keep him away once lured.

∼ 

He held out his hand

Pale and slim

Yet warm and strong

Inviting

“Take my hand and walk with me

You know that’s what you want it to be

No more pain and strife

No hurt or tears

Not even one more for this sharp life”.

∼ 

But as ever before my answer came

To these beguiling words from Death

“Even for the heartsore

I cannot follow you yet.

My time is not right now

There are others her in this life

Who still need me on this side

They may not know just why or how

But deep inside I know this.

I cannot leave this life

Nor desert them in this way”.

∼ 

This life is heavy

My heart bowed down

No answers can be found

In despair I stand and pray for answers

My belief: that they can be found

∼ 

I sensed a smile play around his mouth

A sparkle in dark eyes

“I see you have not yet given up the fight

So, one more I must bid you, Goodnight

Remember though, I am always here

Waiting for your call

When midnight chimes awaken you

Remember, I wait for you too.”

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

 ∼

Image courtesy: michellemonique-deviantart-com

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I

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I can choose either to be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasures. It’s all a question of how I view my life. – Paul Coelho.

image

There have been times aplenty when I’ve wondered where time flies but I never thought I’d find out first hand.
Being a Science Fiction fan I’d always quite fancied the idea of “The Langoliers” by Stephen King – furry balls of steel teeth gobbling time as it passed away. Definitely worth watching, if you can find it. Not however what happened.

image

Alas, I cannot say that I have such an imaginative reason for not writing. In fact, even this short effort is telling me my time is running out.I am working on something, it simply isnt finished.  Soon but not soon enough!
From a flare up of an old  complaint I languished in a state akin to despair…until I decided to take a photo of a newly flowering plant.  It’s hard to pass up on those photos. I couldn’t  stand, or rather squish down for the shot, so I sat in the old reliable plastic chair. Mistake! Oh what a mistake!
One moment seated on the chair, the next flying through the air with the greatest of ease. No mean feat, I assure you.

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Alas and alack I’m aching like a forlorn pretzel. Better yet, a crumbled pretzel. Even sitting is no fun – and neither us lying down by the way. All typos due to the phone and screwy eyesight from meds!
I’ll be back shortly, more or less in one piece. (One piece just many bruises). Believe me, there are times I wish for …..a fairy or three to help me. Although they have nade my flowers grow beautifully.
Til later mes amis. No more flying for me!

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Love me, love my fairies helping in my garden.

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Blessings,  Susan 💖
(C) Susan Jamieson,  2014

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#WhatPriceTrust

From the beginning and innocence and trust

Image from: Wings-of-Love-by-Stephen–006.jpg

“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don’t know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.”
C. JoyBell C.
“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.”
Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday

I was asked a strange question over the weekend and to be honest, I found it difficult to put the answer into words at first. The question, put simply was, “What price would you put on trust?”

Think about it a little. TRUST, what does it mean to you? Is your answer the same as someone else would think, or say, or even believe? If there are different answers to the question, and they are all valid answers in themselves, does that mean that TRUST is something arbitrary? Or, is there only one answer to what TRUST is?

The Oxford Dictionary explains it thus:

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something: relations have to be built on trust

Acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation:

 And synonyms for TRUST: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, the first step is the hardest

I find it difficult to accept that something as important in life as Trust, can be split so that it has different meanings in differing situations. Am I wrong? I don’t believe so. It is that which brings me to another question.

If trust can mean different things to different people, then how many other truths by which we live can mean different things to different people, depending on the situation?

For that conundrum to be even partially acceptable, it means that my world view has been knocked on its head. It also means that my old English teacher would be turning in her grave right now. Each word has a definition, a meaning which is written down for reference. TRUST would have been a big one. I wish I could ask her right now.

I know that the strict definitions and usage of words has become a thing of the past, especially for the younger generation. Yet some words, I believe have a meaning, and only one meaning and it cannot be twisted to gain an advantage.

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, once gained is irreplaceable

So, my answer was this:

TRUST is something which is earned, not expected. If you fail to live up to your word, you cannot expect someone to TRUST you, and it must be reflected in the way you live and speak. You must show, by your very actions that you are able to be believed so that another may have confidence, a certainty, that what you say is the absolute truth. They can TRUST what you say, irrespective of the circumstances. You can be TRUSTED.

Trust is something I don’t often think about, in and of itself. Trust is a part of my life. It is a part of the way I live my life, without which everything becomes unravelled. Without Trust, life becomes unmanageable.

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, that’s all you have sometimes.

As a child you trust your parents to do their best for you, and you act in accordance with what they say, because you trust they know what they are doing and therefore, ask you to do what is right. You can trust them.

As a parent, I earned the trust and respect of my children by how I acted and what I said. It is not unusual to find trust and respect go hand in hand. My children are now passing on those same values of Trust and Respect.

When two people marry TRUST is a vital in each other….. Any couple who decides to speak vows to live together, does so because they trust each other. Day by day Respect for each other has their Trustworthiness has grown.

A soldier TRUSTS his comrades or he cannot do his job.

#WhatPriceTrust

The first time we learn real trust, we don’t know it.

Trust is invaluable to the world although it is often ignored or misused.

I was asked this question by a battered wife. She was hurting and afraid and more than a little ashamed of her situation. “What price would you put on TRUST?” she asked, as I sat beside her for many hours.

#WhatPriceTrust

Is Trust a Must?

It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.”
David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

 

It is the coin by which we pay for our lives. It is as difficult and as simple as that, and once lost or broken can almost be unable to be recovered.

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

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