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You must match your energy, your vibration, with that of the universe, bringing it to a higher frequency where it synchronizes with the object, person, or situation you require.”
Stephen Richards   

“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.”   Lawrence Block

I have been laid up in bed, more than a little irritated at everything in general and myself in particular. It’s all a rather fruitless exercise. In other words, a glorious waste of time. What made it worse, at least so it seemed to me, was I lost my “mojo” or I thought I had, as a dear friend called it in her blog, “Lost your creative mojo?”.

The strange thing was, I couldn’t  sleep, at least not at night. As soon as the lights went out my eyes popped open and I felt like a proverbial owl, gazing steadfastly into the dark hoping for – well something to happen. Now, I’ve been in this little pickle before, and there is little use fighting it by counting sheep. All it succeeds in doing is putting me off lamb for a while. (Apologies to any vegetarians, but in actual fact I eat little meat anyway).

I had, over a period of many hours, used all of my meditation tapes, CD’s, chants, visualisation, and I wasn’t having any joy. So, I decided that I had to change tack. The very thing which was causing my nocturnal interruptus was going to be there in the morning and it wouldn’t let me rest until I made a decision. Yet making that decision was giving me a migraine and an ulcer. You’ve probably worked out that the “problem” was family oriented. It’s the one which usually causes the most angst.

Diversionary tactics were called for. After a decade I picked up my crochet and started that.  This in itself was a huge thing for me and was part of my ” 2013 Creative Challenge“. By itself it was a huge help and I enjoyed it immensely. The satisfaction of seeing this fragile mat take shape under my hands was uplifting. However, I was conscious of not overdoing it, since it has been more than a decade since I had been able to do anything, thanks to a ‘minor’ accident. This was my finished mat a few days ago. It has taken me two days to get it onto my blog….

One Pineapple mat - for Mum.

One Pineapple mat – for Mum.

After the crochet I went for my trusty Kindle and read until my eyes felt as though they were hanging out of my head on stalks. I’m quite sure I could have auditioned for a sci-fi movie without any prosthetics required. By this time I was feeling somewhat surreal, staggering around like someone who had been on a three-day bender and I hadn’t had a drop!

image from ereaders.venturebeat.com

I’ve managed to find a super little book light which makes reading at night a breeze. Once again, my accident over a decade ago had stopped me reading until late last year. My love affair with books has been rekindled… pardon the play on words.  Most of my books are heavy-duty tomes and I want to make sure that when I finally pick them up it’s not going to cause any problems. The Kindle has sorted that out beautifully. Once again, thanks to Ray.

Yet eventually, pounding headache, eyes hanging on dry stalks and a raging backache also put a stop to that. Then came the journal.  In my heyday it was called a diary… how’s that for dating things! I used to keep one regularly. Nearly slipped up and said religiously, but I don’t want to cause offense to anyone. Yes, you may detect that I am feeling lethargic, tired, slightly slow in the thinking department, in short all the signs and symptoms of the sleep deprived. Yet, despite that it served a tremendous service.

image from my.opera.com

As has my foray for a picture to break up my meandering. I’ve written volumes but haven’t thought to add pictures or any of my scribbled drawings before this.  My journal has now been given a new lease of life.  Each dawn I grab a few pictures as the world, down in Australia at least, wakes up.  I listen to the beautiful serenade from the rainforest birds and the general waking up of the local wildlife whilst I wind down. I do my final meditation of the ‘morning’ for everyone out there and then lay down again. In my own way I wind up my day/night with thoughts of the world and my prayers and wishes for a better day for everyone wherever they may be.

Perhaps that’s what causes the final flourish of the magic wand. After this meditation I drift off to sleep, only to wake two hours later in excruciating agony as all the muscles in my neck, head and back let me know they have seized up. My body has betrayed me yet again.

My dear, sweet, long-suffering husband, helps me to the bathroom, since I look like a question mark and he worries  about whether I can find my way there and back again and I am ensconced in the spare room, which has my old bedroom suite in it. I have learned that sleeping alone in a water bed when your back and so on are protesting, is not a good proposition. As I doze in two hourly increments throughout the day, he supplies me with tea, coffee, toast, all the supplements to help me and a strong arm to get me to the bathroom and back. My angel in truth.

So there we are. The three things which are keeping me semi sane: My Crochet, Kindle and Journal. Is that Synchronicity or Serendipity, I really can’t decide. Now the cotton wool filled brain appears to be letting up a little, I may have another string to my bow – my blog, which despite my challenge to myself to blog every other day, has gone awry this week. I don’t think the tapestry will make it into the bed as it may prove too uncomfortable for my husband. He is generous enough at sharing the bed with everything else. (I wonder if a puppy will have any luck?)

And,  there we have it. The reason for my absence. I have been thoroughly pumped at receiving my Award for my blog, and since I felt somewhat better, decided to let you know why I was MIA. I will try to stay on track, although a specialist appointment mid next week may throw me off. That, and my brothers, which is another topic for another day.

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Dawn at home

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

~Groucho Marx

My morning started as it has for the past two weeks or so. I had decided to put a kick-start to my day, and since I am often awake very early, or late depending on how you look at it, decided a meditation either on getting up, or before I get a few hours snooze time would really put a zing in my day.  It has been working out really well. I have more energy, new ideas are flowing and seeing and being a part of that beautiful calm of pre dawn and dawn has had a magical quality for me. I have been more grateful for the small things in life and that has made some of the gnarlier issues a little easier to deal with.

This morning, after all the horrors of bushfires throughout Australia, and that’s not taking into account the multitude of other issues we are surrounded by, I wanted to spend time sending love and healing to everyone directly affected by these fires, the people and animals, the land devastated by fire and the tireless rural fire brigades which save countless lives whilst standing in the front line against those same fires.

It is a daunting thought, that we are all, in one way or another, able to be affected by natural disaster.  The sheer enormity of the love and healing the land and people need at those times is hard to comprehend.  At times I struggled to remain detached from some of the scenes of the tragedies I could not avoid over the past week, knowing it was possible for it to be repeated again and again before this fire season is “officially” over.

My rainforest songbirds usually blend into my meditation with their musical song.  This morning, for the first time, they found their way to the corner where I sit meditating.  I was brought back to myself earlier than usual. That’s ok, their song is always refreshing and was a nice finish to my meditation.  I decided it was time for a few hours of sleep and curled up next to the warm body of my husband and fell asleep.

All was well, apart from an unusual dream which I will share another time, until I woke up. The crushing pan from a migraine  was assaulting me.  So, I have spent the day cloistered in semi darkness and quiet whilst this monster migraine takes itself away.  Hence, the blog I had prepared has been postponed for this shorter one.

image from diamondheadache.com

For all the myriad problems we, as Australians, have to deal with due to our vast continent, its variable and unpredictable weather, the insurance companies whose only concern is their profit margin, and those NGO’s whose only existence appears to be to make it impossible to make saving life and limb, home and hearth, wildlife and domestic animals, more difficult to achieve, I hope and pray that the good vibes from everyone meditating, from sending their gratitude for our wonderful world  back to it, has the effect I, and others, are praying for.

Early morning from my balcony

“Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth… This is the real message of love.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Teachings on Love

Love and Happiness

Be beautiful, let your soul shine.  ❤

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image from atelier-ad.blogspot.com     It feels like a never-ending search.

“Home is the place that goes where you go, yet it welcomes you upon your return. Like a dog overjoyed at the door. We’ve missed you is what you hear, no matter how long you’ve been gone.”                                     MICHAEL J. ROSEN, Home

Ever since I came to Australia I have heard people talking about “The Great Australian Dream“,  the dream of course to own ones own home.  As far as dreams go it is totally understandable, though today it is becoming harder than ever to attain.  In reality it was probably one of the reasons my parents wanted to come to Australia all those years ago.  “Australia, The Land of Opportunity”,  the chance to be able to have a home of their own and offer a greater opportunity to their children to have a better life than they felt they could have ‘back in the old country’. Times were changing and the brightness of Australia beckoned to many.

Since nothing ever remains static, dreams change as much as people. The dreams of having your own house back when my parents were young is vastly different to the dreams of today’s generation. The “old” Queenslander, which would have been a wonder in those days has become a huge, four (at least) bedroom mansion. I suppose its all relative really, and who am I to say anyone is right or wrong since I have jumped on the bandwagon yet again. URGH!

As of a few days ago when we decided a move was indicated, we have begun the planning process.  Where to, what sort of house, how much land, the services available, which area to move to, and that’s all before the hard work begins.  Part of the hard work, for me at least, is trudging through so many houses until you find one which ‘fits’. We have a list we always use. It has been honed over time to cover everything we could want or need in the home we want, right down to power points and if there are enough cupboards and drawers in the kitchen – VERY important if you want to be able to do anything.

image from atelier-ad.blogspot.com They really do breed if you take your eyes away from them for a second!

Packing! A necessary evil – at least to me.  Days or weeks of packing boxes, tape, labels, paper cuts from the packing paper, and woe betide you if you forget to correctly label a box!  The very first move I ever made, a pure novice, everything seemed to go wrong.  I forgot to label everything down to the last detail. OK  I forgot to put any labels on the boxes.  I had boxes coming out of my ears in some rooms and none in others and not one in the right room! Everything had to be opened to try to find anything at all, and then move it to its real home. As a result it was hours before we could find something to use to for a drink, and let’s not think of a cup of tea or coffee – the kettle went into hiding! I couldn’t recall what had gone into any of the boxes, it was like a lottery – and there was no winner.  That is just the beginning.  After the unpacking has been done and you have hopefully managed to find ‘homes’ for all your things after they have been carefully washed again, you realise you cannot remember where anything is! I needed tracking devices to locate anything. Now that is an idea – I wonder if anyone knows where I can get some?

That is where I am at this moment, in the process of moving house, of packing boxes, wrapping everything in paper which always cuts my fingers one by one. OH NO! – OH YES!  To this day there are still some things we cannot find. Perhaps when we pack this time we might find them? Who knows. Time is running out and I desperately need to find somewhere to move to, somewhere which ticks off the majority of, if not all the boxes on my list. You know, THE LIST, which, if I can get it right will mean I have found my dream home, the one which fulfils all our needs and from which I will not have to move again.

image from oneplanetimages.com There, I knew it existed somewhere.

So, as you can guess, we’d like a place in the country. It has turned out to be a deal breaker, in fact they seem to be as scarce as hens teeth.  It must be somewhere that we can work from home, so both phone, internet and hopefully mobile access. Not too far from  a post office for mail access. Deciphering real estate jargon makes it even more difficult.  For example, this might be what we are looking for and have seen in the ad .

image from boutique-homes.com

When we get there , whilst charming, this is what we find.  (OK, literary license  has been taken here.)

Really though, the real description might say:

  • “a home with space, it has ‘x’ number of square metres under roof – which means – they have counted all the covered verandahs, car ports (not garages) and any covered walkways or external entertainment areas.   Is it possible to use any of that for a home office?  No way, so what it doesn’t say is the house may be enough for a single person but it has loads of covered areas outside or around it.
  • “it has charm and character” or “a little TLC is needed” – which means – it’s antiquated and may be held up by a few rusty nails. (see above).
  • “close to all amenities” – which means – it’s really on a major road and the constant noise would drive you insane, and deaf!
  • “the bedrooms are ‘spacious’ or ‘generous’ in size – which means – you might be able to fit a small bed in but forget anything close to a double bed unless you want a hernia.
  • “it has air conditioning” – which means – one room has a miniscule and ancient mover of air and the windows open in the rest of the house.
  • “it has 2+ car spaces under lock” – which means – there is  lock on the front gate of the property and a rickety roof over the cars, if you are lucky.
  • “country living at it’s best” – which means – possibly no garbage collection no phone coverage and unlikely to have internet access.

The list can go on and yes, I have chosen extreme examples just for fun, although some of them are not too far wide of the mark.   I don’t need a mansion, although it might be nice, yet I don’t want to spend forever cleaning it.  I really, really would love a place in the country but I have to be able to work from there, so it has to have all the accessories I mentioned.  A creek would be nice, but not so that I will be flooded out if there is a minor shower. I’d prefer not to share my home with poisonous snakes, but I guess I’m a chicken, then again maybe not, I’d certainly be dinner for them!

So what is it that I want which I find so hard to find? What is on my “Bucket List?”

A place with room to breathe, fresh air and somewhere to walk on my property.  Something of a reasonable size I can work from home comfortably in with phone and internet access. Peace and tranquility – oh yes – it would be marvellous to wake up and go to sleep to the sounds of the bush each day.

There is a place out there for me, which meets all the dot points more or less. I know it, I simply need to find it and soon, before the lease expires or I go insane.  I really hate moving.  After this I will only move one more time – to the house I build on acreage which will then have everything I want in it or on it.  It’s all there on my dream board which I look at every morning when I wake up and each night before I go to sleep, so as you can tell, it has been a goal for a while. I want to stay in one place, my idyllic place and put down roots.

My home is my castle, my refuge and my sanctuary. I will be so grateful on the day I find it or build it. I will be eternally grateful to the Universe when this dream comes true.  I’m following my instinct here and know I’m mindful that everything has to happen at the right time.  I will have my dream home with room to breath fresh air, walk in the country, hear the birdsong, perhaps a burbling brook somewhere, where peace and tranquility will soothe my heart and soul and my health will recover and there is time and space for my soul to grow.

So, if you know just the place for me, just let me know, I would be so very grateful.

image from sothebysrealty.com Yes, it really does exist somewhere.

“Do you know how hard it is to make a home?… That’s something that a woman does from inside herself. You do it in the face of all sorts of opposition. Husbands are very appreciative when it works out well. But they’re not that anxious to help. It’s understandable. They don’t know how.”

SAMUEL R. DELANY, Dhalgren

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Ray, Mum New Year Eve 2011, Moruya

They “year” began with New Years Eve at Ray’s parents in Moruya.  A beautiful day and night set the tone for the year to come.  It was a wonderful few days, seeing the sights – a finding a great little crystal shop. Needless to say I came home with bags of crystals. (We drove or it wouldn’t have been possible).

Tawny Frogmouth

A Tawny Frogmouth let himself be known early on and has been a visitor ever since.  We have at least four different owls living in the area, from a Powerful Owl, the Frogmouth and what looks like a Barn Owl, plus a very reclusive one we hear often but haven’t managed to get a good photo of yet.

Owls being my favourite birds, it was a real blessing seeing one so soon after we moved into our new home.

Presented to the guests, husband and wife

Presented to the guests, husband and wife

May was a brilliant month, and after months of preparation our wedding went off superbly. Here we are presented for the first time as Mr and Mrs  Jamieson, can you tell how happy we were – and are.  I’ve restrained myself to one photo, it’s hard to know which ones to use and there are so many!

Natalie and Christopher   Couldn’t pass the day up without showing off how fabulous my son and daughter looked on the day either.

One of my favourite gifts came from my husband shortly before we were to go away, a Nikon 150 camera. It is fantastic and even an amateur like me can get some marvellous shots. Most of all it made it super easy to have something to remember all the marvellous things which happened throughout the year.  A few lessons and I might make a reasonable photographer!

The Little Blowhole at Kiama, dodging salt spray to get a good picture.

The Little Blowhole at Kiama, dodging salt spray to get a good picture.

We had been so busy during the year that we hadn’t had a break – even after the wedding, so we spent a glorious week at Kiama, exploring the area and having a well-earned rest.  The Blowholes were in fine form and we saw lots of whales passing by.  Here’s the best picture we managed to get of the whales passing.

Occasionally I wished for a super zoom on my camera so I could get more photos – they really are beautiful creatures.

Humpback passing Kiama whilst we were there.

I found Nicole’s blog and became motivated to get back on track with my spiritual growth. It has been a wonderful year of rediscovery and discovery of new exciting things.

Full Moon Ceremony Aug 31 2012 (Copy)Thanks to Nicole we had a fantastic ceremony provided for the Blue Moon in August.  This was taken just after the “Releasing Ceremony” and the crystals were in the bowls of water. The next night we had a “Becoming Ceremony”  which finalised the entire ritual. It was an awesome feeling and really made us feel great.  My blogging journey began shortly after this.  Reading and writing have always been passions, now they are intertwined beautifully.

Cutting the birthday cake

With lots of work in between we went back to Moruya to celebrate my father in law’s 80th birthday bash in October.  It was a beautiful day and night – in fact they outdid the younger guests. It seems stamina comes with age!   The cake was superb, it was only spoiled by the fact we couldn’t bring any home with us!

Coffs Harbour, Crystsl Castle and home 034

On the way home we stopped at Coffs Harbour for the night and the next day were greeted by this beautiful water dragon on the decking near the water feature. He was so tame he let us get really close. Obviously very used to all the visitors, he’s probably quite the model by now!  See he even gave us a good pose for the camera.Getting friendly with the neighbours horse2012 022 (Copy)

Back home we were back hard at work but love to take a walk around the garden at the end of the day.  Here the neighbours horse came over to say hello and was really friendly.  My first ‘kiss’ from a horse – strangely enough it was a special moment for me and I’m blessed Ray got the photo and so filled with gratitude that the horse was so  friendly.

Ray hard at work, surprissed by the camera!

I’d love to know the identity of this little fellow but just love his colouring.

Blue flash honey eater

We have lots of honey eaters visiting with the flowering trees. Some like this fellow seem totally oblivious to our presence and let us snap away merrily as he feeds. His colouring is ‘electric’!

Kookaburra ready for a dip in the pool

We were graced by a family of kookaburra who came down several times a day to take a dip in our pool as the weather became hotter.  They made lots of noise but it was worth it.  Occasionally there would be a line up of all the different birds waiting to take a dip. It was really funny watching them take off one by one and then ruffling their feathers out as they waited their next turn.

Water Dragon sunning himself on our garden seat

We were surprised and pleased to find another water dragon sunning himself at home.  When he was in the pool area I “chased” him around the pool  – from the upstairs balcony, to get some photos of him. It was so funny seeing me trying to run around to capture a good shot. As soon as I had him in focus he would take off again after some other tidbit he’d spied.

Christmas surprises

Christmas seemed to arrive so quickly. It was a special time for us – the first one as a married couple (old-fashioned isn’t it?) and getting the decorating done together with the family coming down to celebrate Christmas Day together. We were grateful we could all be together and Ray and I felt blessed that our family could get together when so many couldn’t.

Full Moon 30th December 2012

The last full moon of the year, December 2012.  Even with the inclement weather we were able to get some beautiful photos of the moon through the trees and the weather remained fine for our ceremony.  The meditation from Nicole was a beautiful way to complete a wonderful year.

As always we are mindful that not everyone has been as fortunate as ourselves. Like most people we have had our ups and downs. At times it felt as though the downs were holding mired in one place for far too long, but 2013 will be a wonderful year – for everyone.  Throughout 2012 we have tried to remain mindful of what has been happening for us, being present at the important events was easy, how could we not. Being present when things were tough was harder, but we managed and it felt very heart centered in being able to do that. Ill health has been a drag but I’m hoping that with a new move, hopefully to a place with some space around it will give me the right atmosphere to get on top of things.  Country life seems to beckon.

For myself, the unconditional love I have been so grateful to find with Ray has made this a wonderful, love filled year. Heart centered and soul centered, we have felt the growing and stretching of our soul growth throughout the good times and the hard times.  We have also felt, and been awed by the presence of spirit, our loved ones who are no longer with us – in the flesh at least. It has made each special occasion that little bit more extraordinary and that is something I am incredibly grateful for.

The records for 2013 are now about to begin!

   Quote

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.    Ralph Waldo Emerson

HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE.                                              Blessings and stay safe.

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unable to sleep

image courtesy of youngwivestales.wordpress.com

He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it.”
Ernest Hemingway, A Clean Well Lighted Place

There is something so frustrating about not being able to go to sleep, or perhaps worse, continually waking after falling asleep. Either one will leave you feeling tired and irritable the next morning and there is nothing known (not that I know) which can give you back the lost hours of sleep.  I have counted sheep and found it totally irritating. I have warmed milk and sipped it. The effort of getting up and warming it has seemed to wake me even further.  I have decided to get up and read for a while until my eyes are heavy enough to close.  Feels successful until you lay down again and those eyes which are burning to remain closed and let you sleep, pop open once more.  In fact, frustration really doesn’t do the feeling justice.

The irony is, there isn’t always a reason for it happening.  Sometimes there will be a thorny problem which you cannot let go of and it runs around your brain seeking a way out. If only a door could be found it would be a wonderful way to exorcise that scenario!  However, this time there was a quite reasonable  explanation. Just as I was drifting off to sleep I heard what sounded like a loud crash, something rather substantial being broken, outside near the patio.

broken flower pot
image courtesy of noaz.blogspot.com

A search didn’t reveal too much, the lights don’t really cover the area very well. All appeared to be okay and I couldn’t see any stray cats, dogs or possums hiding in the corners, nor anything out-of-place.  Still, I could hear the possums cavorting across the roof the next time I laid down and had almost fallen asleep. Hmm – the likely culprits?  I love the little things, okay, perhaps not so little, and definitely not to be tangled with if you don’t want to be scratched or bitten, but cute all the  same.  They sounded, at times, like a herd of rampaging bull elephants charging over the roof.

We have tried to keep the branches  far enough away from the roof so they can’t easily get across, and have had a fair degree of success until last night. Obviously the foliage grew faster than our vigilance of the garden.  Since they were having fun and I was well and truly awake I decided I would try to get a nice photo of them.  Further frustration ensued. Even twisting myself into a human pretzel I couldn’t see over the roof to get a clear sight of them.  When they escaped into the trees they were too far away with my puny torch to light up the area where they were. I could see them but the light simply wasn’t enough for the camera.  So they sat there ‘laughing at me’.

ring tail possums in tree

image courtesy of timpanogos.wordpress.com

So, here I sit, wide awake, temporarily, since I can feel my energy levels finally running on empty, finishing my little tale of woe of broken sleep.  I would be delighted to watch possums or any other nighttime creature – before I go to bed!  We will have to fix the branches which allow them to gain access to the roof. I really don’t want them in the roof, or breaking the tiles, especially if we have rain forecast, as we currently do.  (Murphy’s Law).  Now that I think about it, – the brain is slowing down so sleep must be near – I wouldn’t be too keen on bats visiting me during the night either.  I’m not an avid bat fan even if I do like vampire movies.

So, since the ‘sun’ is up and the possums have retired, I’m heading to the land of nod for a few hours of well deserved sleep. Despite feeling tired I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a blessing seeing the animals around the property, and we have been blessed with a wide assortment of wildlife from birds, possums, owls, to a very quiet carpet snake.  Fortunately for me, he was much smaller than my friends resident carpet snake, who, after what may well have been a possum dinner, was so huge I doubt he could have retired to her ceiling where he normally lives.  I guess my luck was running good there!

So I hope all the slumberers from my neck of the world had a restful night and I wish all those on the other side of the world a restful night to come. Goodnight !

peaceful sleep
image courtesy of sleep.lovetoknow.com

“Arousing from the most profound of slumbers, we break the gossamer web of some dream. Yet in a second afterward, (so frail may that web have been) we remember not that we have dreamed.”

– from “The Pit and the Pendulum” Edgar Allan Poe

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