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Posts Tagged ‘Loneliness’

#Promises

Aching thoughts of a lost love

Promises

I told you I’d be back

But you couldn’t wait that long

I promised gifts and treasure

Yet before that you were gone

How could I be so wrong –again?

Then gifts and treasures, too small for you

Were the all love that my heart could hold

More than enough to fill your heart and soul

Enough to fill your world with everything you wanted

A heart to hold every breath you breathe, so softly

Arms to melt every ache you felt, so tenderly

A mind to remember every loving wish, so caringly

All to bring magic back in your life, so brilliantly

A paradise unimagined by anyone else

Was yours for free

If you waited for me

But you were gone

Gone so far from me

All my gifts lie unopened

Unwanted and neglected

The love I have is in my heart

A heart now broken and unwanted

Pain and heartache lie within a withered husk

All I have is a hole where it used to be

So I pray with the tiny spark I have left

Let the emptiness of the Universe fill that hole

All that I can hope for to recreate my soul

To breathe life into that withered husk

The husk that remains of a once filled heart

Universe willing I can find the strength to carry on

Without this small hope life isn’t worth going on

For me, this is the last time to fight for life

It is, quite simply, the last fight

Hello death, my erstwhile companion

You have my reservation.

©  Susan Jamieson 2014

 

image courtesy of lmelton2003.deviantart.com

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#WhyDon't YouHearMe

image from joyinbirthing.com

 

Won’t you Hear Me?

Please listen to my words

Hear what I really say

Don’t assume you understand

The words mean exactly what you hear

There is so much more

Behind those simple words

Yet if you reject what I say

There is no point in trying stay

~~~~~~

It’s really not that hard

Just hearing the actual words being said

Hearing the emotion

In your heart and not your head

There is no hope in going on this way

Like ships on different courses

Whose paths were never meant to cross

Of course they’ll never meet

~~~~~~

I see a stranger before me

One I thought I knew so well

But the man I thought I knew

Couldn’t say or do what you have said and done

I don’t know you any longer

This feeling keeps growing ever stronger

~~~~

How much more should I endure

Before I drown under this load

NO MORE

The dreams are gone and shattered

Like so much else that no longer matters

~~~~~

I’m empty inside

A feeling I try to hide

But it must end soon

I’ll be gone before the next full moon

And try to regain all I have lost

My heart, my soul, my self-respect

There’s nothing esle I could now expect.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#memories

image from oldburycottage.blogspot.com

Everyone has memories

Like the ones that make us smile

Or those that make us frown

They’re simply memories

They catch us unawares

Then we feel other people stare

Smiling like a fool

That we’ve broke every rule

Of…propriety

Not linked at all to sobriety

Just a fool with crazy memories

Making smiles appear like anemones

Who cares if we’re ridiculous

It’s the memory

The one that’s in front of us

Making us smile

Or frown

A simple backwards smile

As though we forgot how to smile

Which way our mouth should go

For our heart is broken like the rest of us

We have no way of moving forward

Held back by the desire

To recapture the bliss that enraptured us

Before we became what we once were

And could no longer see the person

Who we had once been

Beautiful, in love,

Our hearts open wide

Dreaming of the wonders we would share

Now, no more than a memory

That once could make us smile

No longer shared

Alone and unattended

A Swiss cheese heart

Now, our upside down smile

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#Betrayal

image from http://www.deviantart.com                          Howling for the soul sister to pass

Betrayal

The time drifted by slowly

There was nothing left

No way to measure the passage of time

Nothing but the slow drip, drip, drip

She let her head roll back

Resting lightly against the window frame

Outside she could see the moon

A blood moon, portent of bad tidings

The trees outside wailed their mournful sounds

And somewhere a wolf howled loudly

Joined quickly by the rest of the pack

Strange, but she had seen no wolves here

Not since she came so long ago

But it wasn’t that long surely

No, it only felt that way

But fitting somehow that they came now

Almost as if they could hear her coming

Drip, drip, drip -The only sound inside

The howling of the wolves outside

And an eerie feeling creeping over all

She was starting to feel cold

The mist curled from her open mouth

She should have brought a blanket

Made things much easier in the end

The cold climbed upwards

Through her arms and legs

Up from the cold floor, cold as the grave

Drip, drip, drip, the continuing sound

Fainter now the wolves were drawing nearer

Their howling more frenetic than ever

The moon climbed higher so she raised her head

Strange how heavy her head now felt

Drip, drip, drip, a cold wetness intruded on her reverie

The howling wolves must have been outside the window

Their howls so loud in her head now

As the icy cold reached her heart

She gave one slow sigh

The light dimming in her eyes

She could no longer see the moon

No longer hear the slowing drip, drip, drip

The only sound

The howling of the wolves

The dripping stopped,

The moon still rose

The wolves howled once more

A cry of pain and anguish

For a soul lost.

Alone in death

As she had been in life

Alone.

#Betrayal

image from http://www.smscs.com The pack gathers to welcome one home

Blessings  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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#The Withering

image from lg-design-deviantart-com

The Withering

“Through dangers untold ….and

Hardships unnumbered”……

A faint smile

The merest lifting of each corner

Of her mouth

Fleeting

Already gone

Hidden

Beneath the shadows

Looming in her eyes

Dark pits of despair

Pushing her feet onward

Pulling her soul apart

Through the lies uncovered

And the heartbreak unbearable

The final destruction

Rending of her true self

Feelings

Emotions

Expressions

Unacceptable

Clinical discourse only

Measured in droplets of blood

Darkest heart blood

Turned in wood

Hidden beneath

Night’s cloak

And cloud

©  Susan Jamieson 2014

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I am tired

I am lonely

I live alone in my cocoon

image from http://www.counseling.org

Aware of nothing else

But the butterfly

Hiding somewhere inside

Cannot emerge too soon

Left hanging

Suspended

Time drifts slowly by

Whilst all around

Stars float softly

Across the sky

The sun passes

High in the sky

Still alone she waits

Time is no friend

Alone in her captivity

That never ends

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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image from fabryking61.deviantart.com

.

Why did she look forlornly

Towards that distant house

Whose windows shone so cheerily

Festooned with coloured lights

Was she waiting for her lover

Had he promised her he would come

And meet her in the meadow

To run away as one

Alone she stood on the grassy knoll

Itself festooned with dew

Her dress of palest satin shone

In the light of the silvery moon

Adorned with shining pearls

It caught rainbows of glittering light

From the diamond caught net in her russet hair

The moon hung heavy in the darkened sky

It’s light filtered by trees all around

Through branch and leaf it fell

Softly finding its way

To form a halo upon the ground

Surrounding her without a sound

A sigh, soft as gossamer wings

Bitter as gall

Slipped through her bright red lips

As she turned to leave the meadow

Leaving her love behind

Her dark eyes awash with diamonds

Glistening teardrops yet to fall.

© Susan Jamieson

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