image from mindfulnessworkshops.dk –
“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.”
― C. JoyBell C.
One of the biggest lessons we have to learn is that of acceptance.
- Acceptance of who we are.
- Acceptance of who someone else is.
- Acceptance that what has occurred is in the past, and if we let it go it has no power over us. Acceptance, it can be easy or it can be hard. Yet once we have learned it, we can be literally set free. Free from the pains of the past and released into a brighter today and tomorrow.
Part of my training through life has been to analyse everything which had or was occurring and determine what course of action should be taken as a result of that. Whilst that is good, as far as it goes, it can lead to an immense amount of heartache. In analysing everything for motive and purpose we can easily forget the personal, the individual in the events. Motivation for why things occur can muddy the waters even further, leading you in ever increasing circles until you reach a state of information overload and decisions, if needed, become even harder to reach. It can also tend to make you hold o to the painful memories as a way of reminding yourself not to make the same mistakes again. We inflict pain on ourselves. Insanity!
image from yogagoddess.us –
“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”
― Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale
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Acceptance of Who We Are.
That shouldn’t be so difficult, should it? Yet some of us twist and turn on the whim of others trying to find out if we are acceptable. In the never ending pursuit of finding ourselves acceptable, to ourselves or to someone else we forget the greatest gift of all, our innate selves. In this entire Universe there is only one person with our DNA, our ways, mannerisms, thoughts and feelings. We are unique, a fact we often overlook or are coerced into not seeing. We forget that we do not have to be measured by the rules or guidelines of someone else. We may not be perfect to them, but we are who we are. Perfectionism may be an ideal to some, but it can be sterile and devoid of real feeling and emotion. Accept who you are, as a work in progress and doing the best you can at any given time. That is all that is truly asked of us, and it is beautiful.
image from rediscoveredfamilies.com
“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves
Acceptance of who someone else is.
It is perhaps a conundrum of life itself that if we are able to accept who we are, then we are often unable to accept others, since we project the best of ourselves onto others and may find them lacking. Of course, the reverse is also true, in that projecting the least acceptable of ourselves onto someone else, may mean that we accept far less from someone than we deserve. Life is a journey, at times straight forward and at others immensely complex. Just like people. If we accept the premise that we, as an individual, are always acceptable, doing the best we can at any given time, then we must also extend that to others. How can we expect more of others than we are willing to accept and give of ourselves? We are all human beings, but we are beautiful Spirits having a human experience. Learning can be messy and we can only work through the labyrinth one step at a time. Accepting the successes and failures is what makes is who we are. Unique.
image from playingwiththeuniverse.blogspot.com –
“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”
― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven
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Acceptance that what has occurred is in the past, and if we let it go it has no power over us.
So many people have scars they carry for a lifetime over what has happened in the past. Like a festering sore we allow it to continually stab at us, reminding us of failures, times we didn’t reach our best, times we let someone down and they suffered as a result. Yet the truth is, it doesn’t matter. We can only expect of ourselves, of others, the best that is possible in that particular moment. In That Moment! In fact we can only expect if ourselves, projecting our expectations on others is unfair as it takes away their free will and ability to earn.
What we learn in a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime after that, cannot change what has gone before. Not by one iota. Why then carry this enormous weight with which to punish yourself? If you can say to yourself, everything that has happened, what I have done, what others have done, forms the fabric of my past. The cloth that I weave now may look different to the one I wove before. Yet it is still perfect in its difference. It is unique, as I am.
The measure of life is change. Look back and read the lessons you have learned from your past. Not with regret or self-flagellation, or blame of others, but as a lesson learned and phfft….. let it go. The past has already gone and can no longer affect you unless you allow it to.
Face forward and greet the day. The present, the only portion of time we can have any effect on, for the future is yet to appear. Make peace with the past. Accept you, the people who populate your past and the fabric of your past. Accept all that has been as a lesson, and look to the bright future, armed with the knowledge accepting the past has granted you. It has also released you from the chains which helped keep you shackled to painful memories. Acceptance helps remove the pain. I know because I have been there and can vouch that it works.
Acceptance – is the key word to having a wonderful life.
image from lifecorked.com
“All that is left to bring you pain, are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself; always afraid that your memories will incapacitate you, and they will if you continue to bury them.”
― J.D. Stroube, Caged in Darkness
May you find your Acceptance in life and look forward to a bright future.
Blessings, Susan ♥
© Susan Jamieson 2014
Owls and Orchids 