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Through the Looking Glass

image from gamesfortrainers.blogspot.com

“Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right.”    Aldous Huxley

~

A couple of weeks ago I told you about the planned trip to Mount Tambourine so we could have a “time out” to use as a forward planning session for next year. You can read about it here.

Initially I wasn’t a whole-hearted supporter of the planning session as I felt tired and still unwell from the Lyme medication and pressured by the proximity to Christmas. In fact, both issues were learning exercises for me. Being ill is not a natural state for anyone to be in and I’m no different to anyone else. I fight it, which is counterproductive. By this I don’t mean that if you are ill you, or I, should simply lie down and give in to it. Definitely not! But fighting an illness is not helpful. Understanding it and then making the most of your time and resources, is the better way to manage it. Fighting it just exhausts you and leaves you open to many other problems because of the exhaustion.

Similarly, letting the fact that Christmas was so close unsettle me, to the extent that I felt overwhelmed, was a fruitless exercise. In reality, when I had time to look at what I had already done and what was remaining, it allowed me to realise that I was as ready as I needed to be before the big day. I allowed my struggle with ‘brain fog’ to start running a destructive program in my mind which could have ruined Christmas. Fortunately my “time out” sorted through these issues.

Through the Looking Glass

Outlook from Tambourine over the mountain

More than that, after I had my shower and dinner, settled in and allowed myself to unwind, it in itself was an enormous gift. I found I was ready and able to focus on planning for next year. Yes, next year which is now only twenty-four hours away, and as such the reason I felt I should finish “Through the Looking Glass.”

I believe it was an auspicious start to the event as it was the night of the full moon. You may have already gathered that I love the full moon and from the top of the mountain it was interesting. Even with the cloud cover the views were amazing.

We had a table brought up to the room so we could spread out our writing material, and set to work with the check list of questions from the Life Change 90 Program. We each had our own monthly and yearly review sheets which we filled in alone and as an exercise discussed later. It was enlightening to see where we were completely in sync with each other and the small areas where we had a slightly different viewpoint. It isn’t necessary to do this but it was a good exercise from our perspective since I’m the director of Life Change 90.

Through the Looking Glass

The review in Progress

It was also good to see where we were both on the same track; most of the ‘differences’ were in reality, terminology. Which brought home the importance of making sure you and your partner really listen to each other and understand what each other are really saying, not what we think they are saying. If that rings a bell, it’s because we use the same ‘formula’ with our children when we want to make sure they are really listening to us and following our requests, at least when they are small enough to pay attention!

Obviously, our reviews were slightly different as my focus was tilted towards my perceptions of how my illness affects what I do, Ray and us as a couple. Ray’s was naturally tilted towards his viewpoint as the person who carries a larger share of the daily activities since I am unwell a lot of the time and the changes that entails. He also focused on his activities and us as a couple.

Through the Looking  Glass

image from projectavalon.net Everyone sees things from a different perspective

Our forward planning went into three stages, as individuals for next month, next year and as a couple for the same periods. Then we looked at it from a business perspective.  It sounds onerous but in fact, it was relatively easy. There is a degree of overlap between each which cuts down the planning steps. Once again we worked on individual sheets to begin the process and then began to combine them.

Whilst it was important to schedule the goal setting for the business, it is something which I do at home and therefore it directly affects and impacts on what we, as individuals, are able to do. I am fortunate that Ray is the Chief Blogger at the moment for Life Change 90. (One Chief Blogger at a time is enough, don’t you think?)

Through the looking Glass

image from Life Change 90

One of our major goals is to move in the first quarter of the year, onto our farm somewhere relatively close to here. By it’s very nature it is not something we can have concrete steps for, since there are many things which need to fall into place first, such as my health. I start my new regimen of Lyme medication at the weekend and my response to it will affect some of our plans.

Through the Looking Glass

image from properties.mitula.com.au

Another interruption (or irritant as I call it), is having to visit my Lyme doctor every six weeks. It would have been nice to be told he was changing his routine when I saw him last.  Instead, we found out when the advice he inserted into a Christmas card fell into our laps as soon as we had finished our planning session. Plus my appointment had been moved to 7.30pm and when it is three and a half hours away from home, a late appointment isn’t really what I would prefer. Traveling is not my strong suit. I arrive like a bent pretzel and feel as though the least movement will snap off an offending arm or leg completely. But, this too shall pass.

Through the Looking Glass

image from deltasdazzlingcostumes.com.au –

There is a big family birthday coming up in February, but we need to be flexible until we see how these meds affect me, so we have a mini monthly review planned for mid-January to see how we are going.

I hope you now have an idea of how we went about our review and planning. It is, I feel, important to make the most of the time you have and this way I feel we maximise what is possible.

Make the most of your New Year celebrations; the New Year is almost upon us. Roll in 2014!

Through the Looking Glass

image from blog.grandchancellorhotels.com

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.”    Edith Lovejoy Pierce

May you reach all your goals in 2014.

Stay safe. Stay well.

Blessings,  Susan x

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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“Of all the things we can feel with our minds and bodies, severe pain is the purest, for it drives everything else from our awareness and focuses us as perfectly as we can ever be focused”.

DEAN KOONTZ, Dark Rivers of the Heart

There are few people who have been told about my battle with Lyme disease. Of those, even fewer understand what is actually happening during my treatment.  Most of those who know are part of my online community. Perhaps it is as simple as the feeling that I can ‘bare my soul’ here and remain, in part, anonymous.  This poem came out of a night’s anguish.

The Pain in my Brain.

This migraine is not in Spain,

No rain falls on this plain,

And in the main, this migraine,

Can be no comedy, no laughter

Only for the insane,

This Pain in my Brain,

Feels like barbed wire,

Wrapped tightly round a tall spire,

Almost like to die, it makes me feel,

Enough to make strong men cry,

It truly is a Wretched Curse,

And then becomes so much worse.

image from yasminfakih.com –

No mere simper will I make,

As I lay and softly whimper in its wake,

As it leeches like a strong torrent,

Throughout my whole body,

Like a door into a lobby suddenly opened,

Lets the throng flood inside,

Pain flows to every nerve and tendon,

Like a swiftly raging tide,

Ready to beg – “No More”‘

“Please – just a sweet release,

even a small respite.

image from leannebaldwin.blogspot.com

A little light at the end of this painful tunnel,

Only please make it dim for a while,

So this Pain in my Brain,

Will not return, not for some time,

Light, forgive me for giving in to this pain,

But this damned Lyme Migraine,

Feels like sharp daggers in my eyes, my brain,

As it travels unfettered throughout my body,

Like partisans fighting, a war without end.

But now an end is in sight,

Filled with hope in the darkest of nights,

I WILL ride the waves of the sharpest pain,

Now, the future is bright,

Like the sunshine which follows the rain,

I can say, “NO MORE”,

To this Pain in my Brain,

Wretched, damned Lyme Migraine!

Where are those blasted pills?

Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced. Denied or feared, it grows”. DEAN KOONTZ, Velocity

All things come to an end. At times it feels as though the end is nowhere in sight, but it is there, even as a dim spark. Hanging onto that dim spark may seem difficult, but in the end, winning is possible.

Blessings.  Susan xx

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