Image courtesy of http://www.yummy-wakame.com
“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
― C. JoyBell C.
It’s no particular secret that I’ve been missing for a wee while. In itself that’s an amusing understatement. In point of fact I haven’t written anything myself since around May. That’s deliberately vague since I don’t really want or need to be reminded that I’ve left everything for so long.
I’ve had many ideas for blogs, written them out in beautiful prose, all in my head and nary has a word made it onto the blog. I’ve even begun any number of items but they’ve never reached the ‘birthing’ stage. Why?
There are a number of reasons, but the main one is simply that I felt my words were irrelevant and not worthy of taking up anyone’s time. That too raises a question, why should I think that? After all, whether anyone reads this or not, is in some respects, not the point of the exercise. Certainly, it’s more than nice if it appeals to someone, preferably several someones. Let’s face it, I haven’t lost my sense of pride, just belief that what I say, counts.
After we moved from Byron to Redland Bay I was overtaken by another bout of “what ails me”. I knew that in time it would go away. Yet I was unprepared for how long it would hang around, zapping me of energy, motivation and ultimately belief in who I was and what I was doing. It destroyed my peace and kept me anchored in pain.
The Duck Pond
Then I attended a wonderful retreat. I could hardly believe my good fortune. I could barely scrape myself out of bed before mid-afternoon each day and here I was agreeing to a program which meant I needed to be out of bed before 7am and eat breakfast – (what, food before mid-day?) so that I could start the program by 9am. None of this sounds very onerous, yet it was a huge challenge, one I was willing to push past all my boundaries in order to attend.
Things didn’t turn out quite the way I’d hoped. I upset someone, perhaps several someones and it was extremely upsetting. I was on the brink of returning home, simply because I didn’t want to ruin the event for everyone else, as it had been ruined for myself. Attempts to apologise (for what I didn’t know I had done), went horribly wrong and someone I admire greatly, who is (was?) a mentor, appears to be not now speaking to me. At least I must suppose so since my attempts to communicate have passed silently with the passing of the days. I still hope but I don’t know.
However, all the above is 2014 and now it is 2015. The energies have turned and not one thing, but everything has now changed. We, all of us, have entered a new phase. All the heavy and argumentative energies we have struggled with for the past several years have now gone and we have entered a lighter, freer period. People will change as the energies have changed. I have changed.
Clourful bejewelled dragons
Like all things throughout history, change occurs whether we will it to be so, or not. These changes are exciting and have given rise to much planning and proposal – No – I’m not getting married, divorced, separated or having a baby! I’m so pleased that’s out of the way!
There is a new website planned and a new ‘persona’ and blog. It will be good for me and for you also. I read a blog two days ago about a “Power Word” rather than a resolution, resolutions which are rarely followed. I chose two words, Attract and Create. They both fit and I’m working on a phrase to link them and yet I know I have no need to do that.
So, I’m back, in the nicest sense of the word, and I will Create blog posts as often as I can whilst I Attract what I need to Create the new website. You will be able to see it when I have Created it and its first blog.
Happy Days Everyone! Happy 2015.
May all your Blessings come to be.
Golden Sorceress, Golden Dragon
“Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass – to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
Blessings, Susan♥
© Susan Jamieson, 2015
Owls and Orchids 