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Posts Tagged ‘perseverance’

The world is reduced

Down to the smallest point

To the most infinitesimal

Never before imagined

Smallest point

Comprehension is stifled

That such a tiny focus

Could take so much effort

Could release so much feeling

The world has ceased to expand

To whirl on its forever axis

Except within this focus

An unimaginable focus

Lasting eternity

Each moment in time

An eternity of pain

An insignificant word

Describing such torment

The mind shrinks from such thought

Refuses to accept the enormity

Declines the reality of existence

Silent shrieks reverberate

Inside a thorny crown

Release, please sweet release

Let me sink once more

Into a sweet oblivion

To the edge of reality

Where for a short time at least

Awareness cannot enter

Pain cannot intrude

Until once more the clock ticks

And the world comes crashing back

With an agony previously unknown

How can mere words describe

The white hot lancing hooks

Shredding flesh and bone and nerve

Piercing deep into the mind

Until sweet nothingness returns

As consciousness leaves

Wailing in retreat

For sweet surcease

Please

No

More

Reality

I beg you

© Susan Jamieson 2014

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This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.

 Susan Polis Schutz

There are times when, despite the best of intentions, there seems to be little you do which turns out the way you intended it. It’s frustrating to say the least, and when you have worked for hours trying to get it just so, it can be heartbreaking. Sometimes you can sit there and wonder – why? Is there really any purpose to this, to keep trying to do this, when no-one seems to know or care?

The purpose is just that – it is the reason why you started ‘this’ in the first place. What motivated you to begin this  course of action, this group, this course, this painting, craft work or blog? To understand the reason you have to delve inside, not always the easiest place to delve, and find the true reason there. It may be a short journey or a long one. It may be pleasant or not. It may bring sadness or pain. You may even feel as though your ‘strings’ are being pulled by another – for a time at least.

One of the hardest questions I’ve needed to answer has been why I wanted to write a blog. It should be simple and on the surface it is, I wanted to share my words with someone. I had so many words trapped inside waiting to find an avenue to see the light that I wanted to write them down somewhere. Sounds nice and easy and straightforward, and it is as far as it goes. That’s what I’m doing, but why has it become difficult?

I have a failing, well in fact I have many, but the important one here is impatience. I have found a forum where I have been entertained, delighted, entranced and mesmerised by the writing of others. Sometimes to the extent that I wonder what I have to offer that anyone would want to read. (My heartfelt thanks to my followers and those heartwarming ‘likes’ which let me know my words are not falling on deaf ears, or worse yet, empty air).

I needed to reassess my reaction to seeing some bloggers write their hearts on a page and see no response and others, who put as much work in receive what could amount to tumultuous applause. What is the different ingredient that sees some succeed and others appear not to? What magical spell was there to see everyone’s efforts recognised?

The answer is – there is no magical ingredient, no magic spell, which is only my opinion of course.  There are lone writers out there who may be slowly found by people searching for ‘something’ as I have found different blogs.  Then there are those who may have a wonderfully large social network or belong to a writers group and they all support each other. “Like begets Like’ so to speak.

Yet for everyone it is the same beginners rule, you can only go “One step at a time”.  Some may say “it’s the luck of the draw” others “the roll of the dice”. Then there are my often heard homilies; “you can’t run before you can walk”, and my favorites:” good things come to those who wait” and “everything in its time”.

By the time I’ve worked my way through these I have to laugh at myself. I write because the words want to come out and the topics choose themselves – most of the time. My reality checker (hubby) often reminds me that all things eventually reach a ‘tipping point’, in this case, perhaps more importantly from a recognition perspective, a point at which the number of people ‘Following’ and the number of ‘Likes’ for each post, indicate that your audience has grown sufficiently to show others that ‘here is a good writer and blogger’. This person has something to say which others want to hear and like.

It seems that irrespective of how large a following you have, more is better. When I first wrote I felt incredibly excited and rewarded by the first ‘Like’ and then “Follower”. It was a huge “WOW” factor.  Now I appreciate the time and effort people show by reading my blog, “Like” and/or “Follow” it. I am immensely grateful for their graciousness and I am still excited to see those ‘Likes’ after my blog.

It appears Mark Twain found “The Secret” long before “The Secret” became famous.

So, despite my challenges, and today the brain fog has been infuriating, apparently only a minor impediment at present, I have taken, “Just  One Step” and figuratively speaking, put pen to paper and started writing again.  I will still have days when I doubt that what I say is of any interest to anyone but myself, but then I am also human.

All writers have doubts, it is in the nature of the beast. If success is meant to come, then I will need to be patient (please send it by the bucket full), and allow time to flow as it always does. After all, my words will resonate with some, at some time, in some place and that is all a writer may hope for.

image from en.wikipedia.org –


“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”

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