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Right Timing

Posted in Blessings, Challenges, Coping Skills, Gratitude, Health, Identity, Life, Life lessons, Lyme Disease, Magic, Philosophy, Psychology, Self Development, Soul Growth, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Writing, tagged acceptance, Apple, BEing present, coping skills, frustration, Gratitude, iTunes, life lessons, Living from the heart, Lyme disease, Mindfulness, New South Wales, pain, Pharmaceutical drug, Reiki, right timing, self acceptance, Self Development, Soul Growth, Spirituality, Susan Jamieson on December 13, 2013| 8 Comments »

image from nicpicxa.blogspot.com –

“Right time, right place, right people equals success.
Wrong time, wrong place, wrong people equals most of the real human history.”
― Idries Shah, Reflections

There are few things more irritating than a schedule which doesn’t turn out as planned. Think about it for a moment. You spend ages working everything out down to the smallest detail so that everything is planned, everything gets done and then suddenly one small thing crops up and the entire schedule is totally thrown out the window! The right timing is out with the trash!

That’s what happened to my week. In fact it began before the

image from yogatothepeople.com A retreat for the soul.

week even got started. To go to the beginning of the sequence we have to move back a few weeks to set the scene. There was a retreat planned and I very much wanted to go on it. In fact I had been waiting for a retreat such as this, by this person for quite a long time, but circumstances kept popping up to prevent it.

When such things happen they immediately make me stop and wonder why. Why am I being ‘prevented’ from attending such an event, which would definitely bring something to the table for me? Being intuitively aware of what is happening and why, is a great gift, one which is not usually understood by most people. However, to me it was a clear sign from Spirit that it wasn’t the right time for me to do ‘this ‘ course or that ‘this’ course was not the right one for me to do. Of course knowing this does not make the prevention any less irritating..

image from http://www.canstockphoto.com

So, I see the updates about the retreat and I’m sitting here missing it. One of the major reasons I ‘decided’ it wasn’t practical was due to the medication regimen I have been on which has severely screwed up my system. All thanks to the Lyme disease. Anyone who does a Spiritual retreat knows the importance of ensuring you, personally, are in the best shape you can be, to facilitate the changes such an event brings about. You don’t want to interact with Spirit if you are dosed up with vile medication and feel awful; it simply doesn’t work that way.

Over the first weekend I was coming off most of the prescribed meds and was having a fairly torrid time of things. I couldn’t get to sleep at night and when I crashed I couldn’t get going until nearly midday. That’s not going to work at any weekend event. However knowing that didn’t make me any less upset either. All weekend I thought about it and how good it would be and how much I wanted to be there. I truly believe I made myself more ill because of it. A lesson taught to make me pay heed of the signs.

I’d made a promise to myself that I would get the GST spreadsheet

image from http://www.concur.com Spreadsheets made to look easy!

done and thus far hadn’t managed it due to my reaction to medication. I seem to react badly to everything at present. Perhaps that’s another hint that I need to stop fighting the process and let it take its course. Anyway, I’ve struggled with it for seven months and it’s been miserable, but that’s what happens sometimes.

I had barely had any sleep Sunday night and yet Monday morning I woke up as if I needed to be somewhere in a hurry. Yes – at my desk and doing the GST. I was groggy but alert enough to do that, it’s only entering information anyway. Right Timing at work.

Tuesday was preparing the blogs for Wednesday, my ‘In Search of” series

image from followpics.net “In Search of”…… Right Timing

which is proving to be very distracting as I sink further into my time away and what happened. So I’m now beginning to wonder what is in my memories of the trip which I need to know now. It must be important or I wouldn’t be reliving it in minute details. I haven’t found out yet, so it must be something which happens later or I haven’t picked up on it. Irritating isn’t the word.

Wednesday was total wipe-out day. Even with catching the break and having, in effect, an extra hour in Queensland since they don’t have daylight saving but New South Wales, where I live, does, didn’t make any difference. Doctors seem to have a timetable which runs anything but according to schedule. My trip to the doctor, for which I allowed an extra half an hour was out by an hour. It made everything run late. By the time we had finished all our tasks up there and managed to finally get something to eat, we were travelling home in the dark.Right Timing, I think not!

image from goddessink.wordpress.com Chronic Pain hits everywhere.

Let me explain. With my immune system being down, thanks to the medication, it also affects my energy levels. I was pushing through to get everything done and did, but there was a price to be paid. I have paid, every day since, with pain, gastric upsets and horrendous migraines. Such is life.

On Thursday I woke up after a very short sleep again and this time felt as though I’d been tenderised by a meat mallet. Not good at all. I felt as though I was dragging a ten tonne weight around with me. This of course makes me as cranky as a grizzly bear with a sore tooth. Not a good scenario for being at a retreat or for my husband for that matter. The new medication my GP has put me on is affecting my special coordination. In fact, it’s making my fingers work faster than my brain appears to be coordinating my typing needs. It is more than very annoying. I seem dyslexic at times.

So I struggled through Thursday without killing myself or the computer. Do you know what happens when you’re fingers do the walking? It stuffs up the computer and it takes hours to fix it

image from http://www.tumblr.com What I’d like to do to that computer!

up. Apart from which, I had to download some material, which I did, but I don’t have iTunes on my laptop so they went into Windows media. I can’t download the wretched things (mp3) to any other device. Don’t you love Apple? Damned perverted extension files.

So all one nights work for nothing, it’s on the computer but I can’t physically transport it on a device to listen to it. BAH! Now to the end of the week and the lesson.

This morning I woke up in so much pain, I seriously considered calling for an ambulance. Not letting Ray take me there but calling an ambulance because the pain was so intense. The pain

image from psychicandastrology.psychicguild.com

came in great heaving waves, with medication and Reiki settling down to a dull roar, but rearing its ugly head every so often to let me know it was waiting. I’m sitting here typing because I misunderstood simple English today and didn’t get this done earlier, but also because I’m still riding the waves of pain.

So what was my lesson you are wondering? Beautifully simple really – it was not the right time or the right retreat for me to go on since I had more healing to do and that takes precedence. Why is that? Because working with spirit takes a lot of energy and in my compromised situation it would not be good for me – or them.

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”
― David G. Allen

Second lesson: Patience. All my life I’ve been in a hurry and they have tried to slow me down and

image from tonoikaipnevmata.wordpress.com

only been successful when I’ve been completely out of commission. So this is what they’ve done, made sure I cannot do anything.

There will be other retreats, other courses, other times, because I know this is the case. I will have the right course with the right instructor at the right time for me. That’s the way everything works. Spirit’s schedule trumps mine each and every time. There is no point being grumpy or ill-tempered, even with myself, because I have to go with the flow. And as everyone knows going with the flow makes life so easy. So just go with the flow and believe in Right Timing.

image from pics33.blogspot.com Right Timing is Essential

“Most of what makes a book ‘good’ is that we are reading it at the right moment for us.”
― Alain de Botton

May your week be filled with ‘Right Timing’ so that your days and week feel relaxed and peaceful.

Blessings, Susan x

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In Search of….part 3. Still Searching….

Posted in Departed loved ones, Dreams, Ghosts and Spirits, Life lessons, Soul Growth, Spiritual, Uncategorized, Writing, tagged Angel, Dennis Wheatley, Doreen Virtue, Hay House, Life and death, marriage breakdown, Paganism, Psychics, Reiki, Religion and Spirituality, Search for meaning, spirituallity, Wicca on September 23, 2013| 13 Comments »

image from spirit_elements-www-josephinewall.co.uk

Two years before my marriage breakdown my father had passed away after a nasty battle with cancer. As anyone who has had anything to do with cancer knows, it isn’t an easy journey. Dad had Myeloid Leukemia and as time passed I became aware that I was hearing Nanny call me more and more often. I would lay awake at night waiting for her to call me, finally falling asleep only to wake when I heard her calling me, then lose any connection when I spoke. I became more frustrated with myself, wishing I could ‘wake’ just enough to ‘talk’ to her without saying anything, which I thought was stopping her from speaking to me.

I read everything I could find about Angels and spirit communication. I listened to anything I could on CD or video but couldn’t get to see or speak to anyone. (My ex called it “that rubbish”). I was frustrated and saddened by my failure to learn something which might bring some peace to Dad or Mum who was herself very ill. Yes, and answer some of my questions.

After his passing he seemed to be with me often. His particular scent was everywhere and I felt if I could turn quickly enough I might be able to glimpse him before he vanished. I began hearing him calling my name as I slept too. It was comforting but frustrating as I felt I was missing something important. Yet I had no idea where to go to find the answers. It seemed everyone was calling me and I was unable to hear what they wanted me to hear.

image from myvoiceonthewingsofchange.blogspot.com

Twelve months later my father in law passed away. I was shocked when I heard his voice call me. We had traveled out to Texas to see him, knowing in my heart we would be saying goodbye. Once I saw him in the hospital I heard voices all around me, his family waiting. A planned short visit became a dire need to stay overnight, one I knew would be the last but which my husband refused to accept. As I waited for him to return from collecting overnight items I heard his father calling my name. Yet neither of us said a word. Within minutes of his return his father passed away.

I was shocked by my experiences in the hospital. The last years had seen a growing divide between his father and I, almost in line with the decline of my marriage and I was stunned at the experience I had whilst I was alone with him. Now I had even more questions. Why did he speak to me after all ‘this’ time’? “Why” could I hear his family when I had never been able to form a close relationship with them over the years? It was inexplicable to me at that time.

image from http://www.huffingtonpost.com

Twelve months later my marriage broke down completely and my foray into other avenues to find the answers which filled my mind finally began in earnest.

I began to actively seek out groups I could get to, Paganism, Wicca, Angelic workshops, Spiritual churches. Online and in person I searched for a reason for the why of life and death which perplexed me. I pursued my Reiki healing and then followed with other healing modalities. I could feel my senses expanding and sense things even more intensely. I attended Doreen Virtues Angel workshops and became an accredited Angel practitioner. I bought and became proficient with a range of tarot cards but apart from friends lacked the trust in myself to read for anyone else. A wonderful ‘seminar’ with some famous psychics arranged by Hay House was a highlight at the time. I had so many questions bubbling away inside and no opportunity to ask any!

I became involved with a couple of Wiccan groups, only to find we didn’t ‘fit’, beautiful people and I had some answers and learned a great deal. Much of what I learned made sense but didn’t answer everything completely. In the process of searching through online groups I came across a colourful individual, I’ll call Evan, a colourful character who had led a colourful life.

Evan and his family lived in the Woodford area and I was invited up to meet them…. I gathered it was an inspection process to see if I would fit in with the group. It was a strange meeting, filled with questions and the impression of being ‘weighed and measured’. In retrospect it was rather funny. They had their ceremonies which appeared to be very similar to the Wicca groups, but there was a hint that there was ‘more I could learn if things went well’. This intrigued me even more. What could be so secret that I had to ‘prove’ myself before I could find out about it. It certainly didn’t sound like any of the Wicca I’d been involved in or studied. It did, however, sound very much like it might lead to a darker kind of practice. My curiosity was piqued.

image from http://www.paranormal-encounters.com

Now I know from my studies that Paganism is not ‘black magic’ yet I also know that there are those who do take such worship down darker paths. The feelings I received as we performed our full moon celebrations did not leave me feeling happy and joyous but uncomfortable and brooding, waiting for something further to happen. The secrecy and mystery they surrounded their celebrations with also made my hackles rise.

My years of reading Dennis Wheatley came to the fore and it took little time talking with the other members of the group to learn that the New Moon celebrations were more ‘interesting’. Now why should that be? Why were the chants so strange? Why were we not allowed to see them until the ceremony was about to start?

People stop seeing you for who you really are after a while and I sat and listened to what was happening. I’m sure everyone has seen the backward writing which your brain can read easily after a few seconds. All the words for their ceremonies were written in reversed order. Nothing ‘bad’ that I could ever saw, but what went on at those ceremonies I was not invited to? As time passed I became more uncomfortable. Their costumes became more flamboyant and brief and their talk left me in no doubt that their altar was not a place to honour life. Not in the way I would like.

Common sense told me to simply stop going there as I had already heard of past members having somewhat unfortunate accidents. My police ‘radar’ was working overtime, and my angels were pulling me away. After my snake episode. yes, it was Evan who gave me the cranky snake, I’d had enough searching down this avenue. Discretion was the better part of valor!

Then I met an old friend from my children’s primary school who was having weekly meetings at her home. Reiki practice, angelic and spiritual discussions and demonstrations. A new era was starting.

image from http://www.coryellekramer.com

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Blessings, Susan x

Next week, New worlds open up.

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In Search of….. part two

Posted in Blessings, Blogging, Coping Skills, Departed loved ones, Identity, Life, Life lessons, Soul Growth, Spiritual, Uncategorized, Writing, tagged Answers to life, BEing present, Healing, Hearing voices, life lessons, Living from the heart, memories, New Beginnings, Police Force, Psychics, Reiki, Searching, Self Development, Soul Growth, Spirituality on September 16, 2013| 3 Comments »

image from http://www.josephinewall.co.uk

Despite the passage of time, the death of my Nanny still troubled me. (In Search of…Part One here) Not being able to understand all the ins and outs of the situation acted like a burr under my skin and I desperately wanted answers. Granddad’s passing seemed surreal because we were so far away. From time to time I would hear one or the other calling me in my sleep, waking me up enough to answer them before they fell silent. It was only after the incident on board the ship, where Granddad’s voice woke me that I recalled the number of times Nanny had been doing just that. I now know that she was trying to reassure me because of the deep hurt I still felt. However, that realisation was to come later.

Mum tried to get us to church once we settled into our new home but it was hot that summer of ’72 and inside those timber churches it felt like we were descending into a fiery hell. At least it seemed that way to me. It may have been the way I was thinking at the time but I didn’t struggle when she finally decided it was too much. Fainting every Sunday morning didn’t seem like the way to go and my heart wasn’t in it anyway.

I have always been so very fortunate in that Mum never restricted my reading material. I was always happy to be able to talk about the strange things I ‘learned’ and my taste was eclectic to say the least, everything from my school texts, English literature to autobiographies, fiction and thrillers and eventually into Science fiction and fantasy. I started reading Dennis Wheatley, a prolific writer of thriller and the occult. At the time, one which stuck in my mind was “The Haunting of Toby Jugg”.

In one sense it was a way of searching’ for answers. It was a strange place to look but I was so focused on getting through school, where I didn’t fit in, that in another way they were an escape. Another author I remember being introduced to was Dr T. Lobsang Rampa, a Buddhist monk who wrote many stories, beginning with one called “The Third Eye”. More questions followed the answers I felt I might be finding.

image from http://www.theguardian.com

Books, films, I scoured them all, searching for alternate ways to explain what happened in life and death. I wanted a reason for the apparent randomness of events. Why did some people seem to sail through life without a care in the world whilst others had no end of horrible things happening to them? What was the purpose to the horrors which occurred on a daily basis, to people, places and entire countries? How could I find an explanation for the debasement of human beings by other human beings?

If I made a mistake during this time it was that I kept my search to myself. In my self-imposed exile I failed to talk to anyone or I might have found others to talk to, broaden my horizons and perhaps find the answers I was searching for. Yet I didn’t and so the search continued. I wanted to help people, people who were unable to help themselves or had been badly treated in one way or another. I wanted to do what they could not, whatever that might be.

Joining the police department after finishing high school was another culture shock. My rather quiet and staid upbringing was knocked on its head. In a sink or swim situation I grabbed the only lifeline available…. a wall, not of indifference but distance, between the events I saw played out daily and myself. It was the only way to survive being dropped into the human melting pot of behaviour, where the standards accepted by society seemed not to exist. What I saw and learned served to give me even more questions. I was very empathic with everyone I met, the physical pain which would scour my body often left me feeling overwhelmed. I was an empath but hadn’t yet found the meaning for it.

PW 377. From a time long, long ago.

Oh my, how things have changed. There are times when I wonder what happened to this fresh-faced and innocent wanderer. I wonder most of all how she managed to survive with the naivety I approached my entry into the police force. Since I’m still here I can safely say I survived. I learned and I survived.

I met my first husband whilst I was a police officer. It was after our marriage that the ‘voices’ started occurring more often. His maternal Grandmother was a lovely lady and we had just spent a beautiful long weekend at her property out on the Downs, past Toowoomba. So it came as a shock to be woken from a sound sleep hearing her calling my name. Once again I awoke as soon as I answered her. The next morning the local police knocked on our door, a request to call his mother. His grandmother had passed away during the night – at the precise time I woke from sleep answering her!

This was the first funeral I attended. It was sad, more so because it was so totally unexpected and we had seen her just a few days earlier. Yet people are strange creatures, what followed after the ceremony was much worse. In the days and weeks that followed I was surrounded by the scent of her perfume and awoken frequently by Nanny calling my name.

I started reading books by known psychics, Doris Stokes, Sylvia Browne and anything I could find on the afterlife, spiritual beliefs, practices and occurrences. Suddenly all my strange encounters as a child which I had put down to an over active imagination (at least Dad had) suddenly made so much more sense. I read everything from tomes about Angels to Paganism and Wicca. At the time I was ‘researching’ all the books I read were purported to be by respected psychics. I neither advocate nor denounce anyone since they all had information I found useful.

They were years when I was restricted to reading. Venturing further afield and attending meetings was ‘outlawed’ and hence the urge to see for myself what these people had to offer, as answers, was increasing. I managed to start my Reiki healing and the results from that, the amazing feelings which came with it, sparked an ever-increasing yearning to go further.

It would not be until my marriage ended over two decades later that I was finally able to seek out these new avenues for answers and experiences.

Next week – My foray into another world.