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Posts Tagged ‘Religion and Spirituality’

Question and Answer.

Sometimes we need ask a question and receive an answer and when we do it makes our whole life change. This is one song which tells me all I need to know. At this time of year when we are searching for a path into the new year, please enjoy this beautiful heartfelt wish with me.

Forever and for Always, Shania Twain.

Love and Blessings,  Susan x

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Question and Answer

image from freelyassociating.org

Questions

Questions

Without answers

Without time

Without reason

Just

Questions to be asked

Answers expected

Because that’s why

Questions are asked

Time

Creeps so slowly

Whilst you are waiting

For something to arrive

Time

Speeds quickly past

With so much to do

Time is such a contrary beast

When all you want is to know

When you can get there

Without a fuss

How long it will be fair

When the rain pours down

Or why it needs to be so hot

When your head pounds

Like a demented stone mason

Attacking you with pick and hammer

Questions without answers

They simply are

They always will be

Because they are……Questions

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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“There are as many worlds as there are kinds of days, and as an opal changes its colors and its fire to match the nature of a day, so do I.”
― John Steinbeck

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Despite the fact that I was relieved I wouldn’t be going on further tours with Cherylane, I still felt let down over how things had turned out. I spent quite some time wondering if I was, in fact, totally wrong about that I should be doing with myself.  In short, I began to wonder if I was meant to be following ‘this’ spiritual path. It didn’t help when I read about her doing her tours and going on a TV show, which she won. I couldn’t help but think of the Jekyll and Hyde and wondered what her adoring fans would think if they knew the real person. But being a bitch doesn’t change what she did and I didn’t want that as part of who I was so I let it ride.

Whether it was simply knowing I didn’t have to go on the road again, or doubting what I should be doing I found myself in a growing amount of pain. In fact it seemed to become substantially worse overnight, each night!  The best the doctors could come up with was… the usual STRESS! Then finally it was decided I had Chronic Fatigue, a name,  but totally unhelpful diagnosis. It appeared that after acknowledging I had CF that I was to ‘learn to live with it’. Rest was all I could do, that and whatever was within my ability to do without causing a flare up. I really love the “live with it” attitude I hear so often. If you’ve got a,b,or c, “accept it”, “learn to live with it” because “it is what it is”.  I must have missed out on the Saint instructions. I’m still struggling to accept the status quo. I feel if I do then I will sink into oblivion.

image from myjustliving.com

Bumping into a friend from my old spiritual circle was a turning point in many ways. I began going to a new circle she was running and the meditations were both soothing and enlightening, Apart from the rampant tiredness which annoyed me when I was meditating, the injury to my neck made it almost impossible to keep my head upright. If I rested my head back on the chair there was always the possibility I would fall asleep.  I was relieved when I was told to stop worrying about it – if I fell asleep I would still benefit from the meditation and Spirit were helping me to heal.  The relief was huge. Guilt over something outside your control can be devastating, especially if you are made to feel you are showing a lack of respect for something outside your control.

I started back with the healing group also and continued my Melchizedek training. It’s difficult to describe the experiences and feelings from the healing and the meditations we did. It felt as though I traveled backwards and forwards in time and space and during the healing, into and through the body. It was mind-blowing to put it mildly. At times I would end the meditations and healings in tears at the incredible things I saw and felt.  Whatever had happened before, I felt I was where I should be. I should add that these experiences occurred when I was giving as well as receiving healing. At least  many of the people I gave healings to said this to me.

There was a continued ‘presence’ of spirit around me. I could sense Dad’s presence by scent and he seemed to be spending more and more time with me. I would hear him calling in my sleep which seemed odd when I knew he had already passed over. Then I realised that each time Dad’s presence was the most strong were the times Mum was having an attack or was ill. Time was passing and I felt an urgency that the one thing I didn’t want to happen was drawing closer.

After my divorce I had eventually remarried. (Some lessons are hard to learn). The honeymoon period hadn’t lasted very long and things had been rocky for a while. Tensions had mounted whilst I was traveling with Cherylane and I had a household of discontent, and it wasn’t solely mine!  I started a small business working from home, healing and card reading which was working out fine. I could limit the clients to how many I knew I could manage so it didn’t overly concern me that it was only slowly growing.  There was a great deal of satisfaction as my skills at healing and accuracy with readings continued to grow. Being at home seemed to ease some of the tensions there, even if they didn’t help my health very much.

I felt that I needed to remain available, but if asked I would have been hard pressed to give anyone an explanation. Meanwhile the pain intensified. I had my gallbladder removed and was disappointed it didn’t help my health improve. It reminded me of my near death experience, well as close to one as I think I’ve had. This happened when my children were both in Primary School. If you’d like to catch up on my near death experience. Just follow the link.

There was an intense feeling of momentous change which left me feeling uncomfortable. I suspected what was coming and desperately wanted to avoid it. So I prayed, for the first time in a very long time, very selfishly, for myself. At least that’s how it felt to me. If  my prayers were answered it was not how I expected, but then they rarely are.

image from embracethechildrennj.webs.com

“Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God.” ~Author Unknown

Blessings,  Susan xx

Next week – Old Doors Close

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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image from spirit_elements-www-josephinewall-co

image from spirit_elements-www-josephinewall.co.uk

Two years before my marriage breakdown my father had passed away after a nasty battle with cancer. As anyone who has had anything to do with cancer knows, it isn’t an easy journey. Dad had Myeloid Leukemia and as time passed I became aware that I was hearing Nanny call me more and more often. I would lay awake at night waiting for her to call me, finally falling asleep only to wake when I heard her calling me, then lose any connection when I spoke. I became more frustrated with myself, wishing I could ‘wake’ just enough to ‘talk’ to her without saying anything, which I thought was stopping her from speaking to me.

I read everything I could find about Angels and spirit communication. I listened to anything I could on CD or video but couldn’t get to see or speak to anyone. (My ex called it “that rubbish”). I was frustrated and saddened by my failure to learn something which might bring some peace to Dad or Mum who was herself very ill. Yes, and answer some of my questions.

After his passing he seemed to be with me often. His particular scent was everywhere and I felt if I could turn quickly enough I might be able to glimpse him before he vanished. I began hearing him calling my name as I slept too. It was comforting but frustrating as I felt I was missing something important. Yet I had no idea where to go to find the answers. It seemed everyone was calling me and I was unable to hear what they wanted me to hear.

image from myvoiceonthewingsofchange.blogspot.com

Twelve months later my father in law passed away. I was shocked when I heard his voice call me. We had traveled out to Texas to see him, knowing in my heart we would be saying goodbye. Once I saw him in the hospital I heard voices all around me, his family waiting. A planned short visit became a dire need to stay overnight, one I knew would be the last but which my husband refused to accept. As I waited for him to return from collecting overnight items I heard his father calling my name. Yet neither of us said a word. Within minutes of his return his father passed away.

I was shocked by my experiences in the hospital. The last years had seen a growing divide between his father and I, almost in line with the decline of my marriage and I was stunned at the experience I had whilst I was alone with him.  Now I had even more questions. Why did he speak to me after all ‘this’ time’? “Why” could I hear his family when I had never been able to form a close relationship with them over the years? It was inexplicable to me at that time.

Twelve months later my marriage broke down completely and my foray into other avenues to find the answers which filled my mind finally began in earnest.

I began to actively seek out groups I could get to, Paganism, Wicca, Angelic workshops, Spiritual churches. Online and in person I searched for a reason for the why of life and death which perplexed me.  I pursued my Reiki healing and then followed with other healing modalities. I could feel my senses expanding and sense things even more intensely. I attended Doreen Virtues Angel workshops and became an accredited Angel practitioner. I bought and became proficient with a range of tarot cards but apart from friends lacked the trust in myself to read for anyone else. A wonderful ‘seminar’ with some famous psychics arranged by Hay House was a highlight at the time. I had so many questions bubbling away inside and no opportunity to ask any!

I became involved with a couple of Wiccan groups, only to find we didn’t ‘fit’, beautiful people and I had some answers and learned a great deal. Much of what I learned made sense but didn’t answer everything completely. In the process of searching through online groups I came across a colourful individual, I’ll call Evan, a colourful character who had led a colourful life.

Evan and his family lived in the Woodford area and I was invited up to meet them…. I gathered it was an inspection process to see if I would fit in with the group. It was a strange meeting, filled with questions and the impression of being ‘weighed and measured’.  In retrospect it was rather funny. They had their ceremonies which appeared to be very similar to the Wicca groups, but there was a hint that there was ‘more I could learn if things went well’. This intrigued me even more. What could be so secret that I had to ‘prove’ myself before I could find out about it. It certainly didn’t sound like any of the Wicca I’d been involved in or studied. It did, however, sound very much like it might lead to a darker kind of practice. My curiosity was piqued.

Now I know from my studies that Paganism is not ‘black magic’ yet I also know that there are those who do take such worship down darker paths. The feelings I received as we performed our full moon celebrations did not leave me feeling happy and joyous but uncomfortable and brooding, waiting for something further to happen. The secrecy and mystery they surrounded their celebrations with also made my hackles rise.

My years of reading Dennis Wheatley came to the fore and it took little time talking with the other members of the group to learn that the New Moon celebrations were more ‘interesting’. Now why should that be? Why were the chants so strange? Why were we not allowed to see them until the ceremony was about to start?

People stop seeing you for who you really are after a while and I sat and listened to what was happening. I’m sure everyone has seen the backward writing which your brain can read easily after a few seconds. All the words for their ceremonies were written in reversed order. Nothing ‘bad’ that I could ever saw, but what went on at those ceremonies I was not invited to?  As time passed I became more uncomfortable. Their costumes became more flamboyant and brief and their talk left me in no doubt that their altar was not a place to honour life. Not in the way I would like.

Common  sense told me to simply stop going there as I had already heard of past members having somewhat unfortunate accidents. My police ‘radar’ was working overtime, and my angels were pulling me away. After my snake episode. yes, it was Evan who gave me the cranky snake, I’d had enough searching down this avenue. Discretion was the better part of valor!

Then I met an old friend from my children’s primary school who was having weekly meetings at her home. Reiki practice, angelic and spiritual discussions and demonstrations. A new era was starting.

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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Blessings, Susan x

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Next week, New worlds open up.

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image from angelsinnature.wordpress.com

Humans are amphibians – half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.”
C. S. Lewis

Half life taking hold of me

Sunlight rising over a dark horizon

Climbing slowly in the sky

Golden light burning brightly

Trees shimmering like their leaves are aflame

Half life slowly closing on me

golden light burning brightly like leaves aflame

golden light burning brightly like leaves aflame

Blue sky showing clearly now

Yet eyes are softly closing

Clouds of filament white streaks float by

Breeze blows soft whitecaps in the ocean nearby

Dusk is falling swiftly now

Where has the day gone so swiftly

Half life riding even closer – but how

White caps piling high, breaking on the beach

White caps piling high, breaking on the beach

Darkness falling – Moonlight rising

Stars glitter in the cold pure air

Where has the day gone

Where has it fled

I don’t know

Eyes wide open for a time

Yet everyone is going to sleep

Where are the connections the soul seeks

My eyes burn from the emptiness within

It has slipped from my grasp once more

Half life taking over me

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.”
Maya Angelou

No two human beings will see the same thing in exactly the same way, it’s what makes our experiences unique. Yet we must all try to reach each other, to feel for each other and try to understand each other. If we cannot do that, if we don’t wish to try to do that, then we have failed as a soul living an earthly existence.

Compassion for the people we meet, live with, or even by acknowledging their presence in our thoughts each day is a powerful gift. Sending gratitude to them, so that they may make of their lives all they possibly can. Only then can we rise above where we are and become all we can be.

This world is a beautiful place, yet even knowing this there will be times we wander in the dark. At those times we can only pray that someone will hear the unspoken plea and hold out the hand of friendship. Such is my belief. I pray I have the strength to offer a helping hand if I find someone in need, irrespective of how might feel. This is humanity.

May Blessings be yours every day. Know that all is well.

Ciao, Susan xx

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image from janeannethorne.wordpress.com –

“Everything is connected through the universal  flow of consciousness”.   Colette Baron-Reid

Life is an ever-changing landscape. There are times when we feel we know every twist and turn of the road ahead, yet it is then that something will come along and shake things up for us. The reason for this is simple. Life is not a static experience, it is raw and beautiful and is to be lived to the full. Sometimes we have to grab on and hold on as hard as we can and wring from it all that is there.

Then there are the times to pause in silent communion and reflect on the world and life around us. Time to see where we are forcing a way through our lives and not flowing along in harmony with our lives, our world. These are the times we feel tired and exhausted; when we feel that everything is against us and nothing is working out the way it should. Fighting against the flow is hard work.

image from footage.shutterstock.com

Have you been able to take a moment and looked at your life? Is it flowing in synchronicity with all that surrounds you, or are you fighting the current and only marking time?  Life is complex, an ever-changing vista and we are given cues to find our way through the rough patches.

It is when things are difficult that we need to take the time to stop, listen to the inner voice of our heart and soul and see where we are out of step with our life. Instead of the tiring fight to force things into the shape you feel they must be, there may be a better way. Perhaps all you need to do is to acknowledge that the current situation doesn’t feel right. You feel out of step with yourself, you feel life is not ‘in flow’.

It is time to take a breath, a really deep breath which gives our racing hearts and minds time to pause. It is perhaps then that we can see it is time to be kind to ourselves and walk away from the struggle today. Tomorrow is just a few hours away and the pause, time to reflect will bring a calm, a clarity and a new sense of purpose.

Tomorrow when we have entered the calm waters and are flowing gently in synchronicity with everything, then that sense of calm will wash away the struggle of yesterday and the ease of flow as we work with life will bring a sense of wonder at our previous struggle.

So take a moment on me and breathe, feel the beauty of the calmness being in flow with your life brings. Enjoy the blessings being in flow will bring.

Blessings, Susan x

image from nomadscribblings.wordpress.com

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”  Lao-Tzu

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Image by unknown

Image by unknown

There is no demon hiding in the dark,

nothing to hold me to this lonely place,

there are only my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams,

shattered beyond redemption  by the bite of reality.

Yet what more can life ask from a heart so broken?

It simply asks for faith – faith that the morning’s light will dispel the dark,

destroy the fear, the loss of hope.

That by some miracle unknown to man,

all doubt will be overcome  and dreams resurrected.

That with the dawning of a new day the darkness is banished,

not only from the face of the earth but from the caverns of our minds, our hearts, our souls.

Is this too much to ask?

Only if you wish to surrender.

If your wish is  to carry on, then all things are possible,

even the mending of broken dreams and promises.

Fort such is the promise of the dawn,

that all beings are granted another chance to create their dreams,

Strength and will power rise to fight with a new dawning,

and banish the demons lurking in the darkness,

Only of our minds.

Image from scotlandmysweetlove.wordpress.com

Image from scotlandmysweetlove.wordpress.com

May all our dawnings banish the dark,  and hope remain eternal.

Blessings. Susan ❤

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