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#WhatPriceTrust

From the beginning and innocence and trust

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“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don’t know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.”
C. JoyBell C.
“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.”
Santosh Kalwar, Quote Me Everyday

I was asked a strange question over the weekend and to be honest, I found it difficult to put the answer into words at first. The question, put simply was, “What price would you put on trust?”

Think about it a little. TRUST, what does it mean to you? Is your answer the same as someone else would think, or say, or even believe? If there are different answers to the question, and they are all valid answers in themselves, does that mean that TRUST is something arbitrary? Or, is there only one answer to what TRUST is?

The Oxford Dictionary explains it thus:

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something: relations have to be built on trust

Acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation:

 And synonyms for TRUST: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, the first step is the hardest

I find it difficult to accept that something as important in life as Trust, can be split so that it has different meanings in differing situations. Am I wrong? I don’t believe so. It is that which brings me to another question.

If trust can mean different things to different people, then how many other truths by which we live can mean different things to different people, depending on the situation?

For that conundrum to be even partially acceptable, it means that my world view has been knocked on its head. It also means that my old English teacher would be turning in her grave right now. Each word has a definition, a meaning which is written down for reference. TRUST would have been a big one. I wish I could ask her right now.

I know that the strict definitions and usage of words has become a thing of the past, especially for the younger generation. Yet some words, I believe have a meaning, and only one meaning and it cannot be twisted to gain an advantage.

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, once gained is irreplaceable

So, my answer was this:

TRUST is something which is earned, not expected. If you fail to live up to your word, you cannot expect someone to TRUST you, and it must be reflected in the way you live and speak. You must show, by your very actions that you are able to be believed so that another may have confidence, a certainty, that what you say is the absolute truth. They can TRUST what you say, irrespective of the circumstances. You can be TRUSTED.

Trust is something I don’t often think about, in and of itself. Trust is a part of my life. It is a part of the way I live my life, without which everything becomes unravelled. Without Trust, life becomes unmanageable.

#WhatPriceTrust

Trust, that’s all you have sometimes.

As a child you trust your parents to do their best for you, and you act in accordance with what they say, because you trust they know what they are doing and therefore, ask you to do what is right. You can trust them.

As a parent, I earned the trust and respect of my children by how I acted and what I said. It is not unusual to find trust and respect go hand in hand. My children are now passing on those same values of Trust and Respect.

When two people marry TRUST is a vital in each other….. Any couple who decides to speak vows to live together, does so because they trust each other. Day by day Respect for each other has their Trustworthiness has grown.

A soldier TRUSTS his comrades or he cannot do his job.

#WhatPriceTrust

The first time we learn real trust, we don’t know it.

Trust is invaluable to the world although it is often ignored or misused.

I was asked this question by a battered wife. She was hurting and afraid and more than a little ashamed of her situation. “What price would you put on TRUST?” she asked, as I sat beside her for many hours.

#WhatPriceTrust

Is Trust a Must?

It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.”
David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

 

It is the coin by which we pay for our lives. It is as difficult and as simple as that, and once lost or broken can almost be unable to be recovered.

Blessings, Susan♥

© Susan Jamieson, 2014

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“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“What Price Trust, Respect and Communication?”

It may sound like a ridiculous question, and in some ways it could be said to be a question that is automatically answered and therefore a waste of time. After all, if you have a “significant other” in your life, then you presume that trust is one of the most important things in your relationship. It is an integral part of everything you do. Or have I misread the fine print somewhere?

I know this is something I have asked myself before, probably more than once, and therefore the answer should be in front of me. Yet, I am continually reminded by others, that life is not always so straightforward. People are seldom one-dimensional, and as far as language is concerned, what something means to one person, means something entirely different to another.

So how can we ensure that what we say and do is clearly understood by someone else? It’s really Communication 101, with a dash of Trust 201, and also Respect 301. Sounds funny doesn’t it, yet also self-evident, don’t you think?

I’ve spent my entire life working on the principle that, what I say I can be held to, at any time. I’m reminded of the film and series “Fifty Shades of Grey”. For many life is like that. (No, I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard so much about it.) If someone can find a grey area, that wiggle room, they will exploit what they say to get round the finer points of the truth. Yet to me, the truth is all important. It is a foundation block for all life.

#trustrespectcommunication

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“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Think for one moment about the misunderstanding, the hurt, the pain and the betrayal, felt by individuals and you begin to realise the importance of truth and trust. You can also add ‘countries’ in this equation, as the furore over the perceived intention on someone’s words has seen entire continents go to war.

Perhaps I am the one “at fault” here. Perhaps I am too black and white, the one who cannot see the middle ground in a situation?

Yet, I’m always reminded of the old Western films, John Wayne, Henry Ford and Paul Newman; even Robert Duvall and Kevin Costner in “Open Range”. They always depicted people of strong character who were willing to die for the truth, the right, and to protect those weaker than themselves. Idealistic isn’t it?

Yet there are times when idealism is what we need to return to, in order to get our country, our world, and our relationships, out of the mire and into the clear skies once more. Are we not meant to be “smelling the roses” each day, “paying it forward”, remembering “kindness, gratitude and appreciation?” I’m surely not the only one who has become lost along the way? I should ask if I have become lost along the way.

#trustrespectcommunication

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“If we can just let go and trust that things will work out they way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully. The joy of the freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”
Goldie Hawn

There was a time when I believed that family was everything, the glue which held all of us together. These were the people who, no matter what happened, you could rely on to “have your back” and help you, come what may. Yes, another idealistic outlook, but there has to be a start somewhere and if not with family, then where?

We cannot talk to each other any longer because everyone seems to feel the need to ensure they are “one better’ than you are. It makes them feel so much more satisfied if they can “blame you” for saying or doing something, even if they have no idea what actually happened. It makes me feel saddened at the loss of that family bond. I know my parents would be more than disappointed.

These simple “codes of life” apply across the spectrum, from the individual relationships, friendships to the dynamics of country interaction.

#trustrespectcommunication

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“We’re paying the highest tribute you can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It’s that simple.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

In the end, I feel, we have to build trust and respect through communication. It is essential we do this if we wish to survive and bring the world forward into a better place than it is presently. Is this not the meaning of our journey here on earth?

If I say, I will tell you the story of my life, so that you can learn from it, avoid the pitfalls which brought me low, then I must follow through with that promise. I cannot decide to change my offer after I have begun, because I think I can “make more money from it” by selling it to someone else. I cannot say, I will make this promise with you, yet if another country offers me more, then I will forget our arrangement and go with the new offer.

We have to respect our own words first and foremost so that others know they can trust us. They can believe in our words because we have shown them our word is important. It was one of the founding blocks of society when we began forming societies. Respect and Trust in our Communication with ourselves and with others. I don’t believe things have changed much at all. If only everyone else understood those three little words…. We could avoid so much hurt and pain, so much bloodshed. Understanding could be second nature.

So many clichés and yet they are all true. My you find your Truth and Respect for yourself and your fellow spirit along life’s journey and learn the dance of communication to bring us closer together.

#trustrespectcommunication

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“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
Stephen R. Covey

 

May all our days be filled with understanding so that we can trust one another from a place of respect. Let us then communicate from our hearts.

 

Blessings,  Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, August 2014

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