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Posts Tagged ‘time’

 

“Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you – sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.”
Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

It seems that irrespective of where I begin, at present, my mind returns to the topic of, Time. I decided to spend some time to see if or why there was something drawing me back to this topic time and again. It seems there is no way I can avoid it, and that is more truth than anything else. It seems that even in the things I wish to say, the message of “time” is put in front of me.

What is Time? According to Wikipedia it is described thus: –Time is the fourth dimension and a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them.”

Of course there is a great deal more to the subject of time, enough to fill more than a single novel, but the general premise is there. Stories and films abound about time, whether it is being manipulated, people are travelling back or forward through it or simply translocation within it. For a great many it seems, time, is an engaging thought.

 

#changingtimes

Image courtesy of freyjasig.deviantart.com

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

So why have I been so preoccupied with time? We’ve recently experienced another “Super Moon” in August 2014; in itself a special occurrence, and we have another closing in on September 9th/10th. A full moon brings the potential for change, if you so desire, a Super Moon heralds the possibility of great changes, so having two, so close together, plus another closely following, can create a time of upheaval.

I have been preoccupied with intense introspection, at times, almost being lost to the world around me, as I ponder the changes I have been through, and those I feel offered to me.

 “The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.”

Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

It wasn’t long before the timing of our move from Byron Bay to Redland Bay, became apparent. By the time we had finished the transition and had ourselves settled into our new home, the July Super Moon was upon us. Coincidence? No, I don’t believe so. In the very act of packing we divested ourselves of much of the accumulated paraphernalia of the past. Even as we settled in we found still more things to recycle. (We rarely throw anything away as there are so many charities which can put those things we have not used, or need, to pass on to a good use.)

It was a time of clearing away the past, which was cluttering our way, making us ready for the new coming to us. It was a time of deep introspection as outmoded ideas and feelings were considered and discarded also. The way I perceive everything around me has felt altered, some things in a subtle fashion, and yet others in a more noticeable way.

At times I have felt a great unrest as my energy levels fluctuated. There would be days filled with energy and bubbling excitement followed by days where everything felt like a heavy weight and a struggle to simply move through the day. Then, of late, there has been more time spent in simple contemplation as the urgency of the past seemed to dissipate.

 

#changingtimes

Looking at the Super Moon through a crystal ball.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

I have finally found more time to visit the local “duck pond”, which it will be called until it is time for us to leave. I have yet to find another name located anywhere for it, and since there are plenty of ducks around, as well as other wildlife, the “duck pond” it will remain. It is peaceful and calm, and yesterday I saw my first wallaby here. (Yes Laurie, I finally saw one here!) It was a beautiful “Pretty Face” wallaby and as soon as I get through the one thousand photos I’ve just downloaded I will post some of the local wildlife.

It was a beautiful day. We had been deluged by just over ninety millimetres of rain the day before, great for the plants and garden and then, walking round the pond we decided to explore a little further. As the light was fading I grabbed a couple of photos of an old dead tree. Then I found it was far from dead… but more of that to come.

#changingtimes

The old dead tree against the sunset skyline.

“Fantasy, if it’s really convincing, can’t become dated, for the simple reason that it represents a flight into a dimension that lies beyond the reach of time.”
Walt Disney Company

So, Super Moons, full moons, moving, packing, clearing out and settling in, opening myself to the Universe and Spirit; it has been a time of many changes. The exploration of things and themes I hadn’t thought about in-depth for a long time, and the resolution of some old hurts. It has proven that time can have so many different aspects. Sometimes thought of as the “fourth dimension” it is not such a farfetched idea after all. I have finally found the time and desire to unpack my wonderful crystals. My home is filled with the bautiful crystal energy which makes me feel more serene. Who says a preoccupation with time is a bad thing – definitely not me, and a Super Moon, the Harvest Moon is soon to come.

#changingtimes

The beautiful August Super Moon cannot hide.

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream.”
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Blessings, Susan ♥

©Susan Jamieson, August 2014

 

 

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#Time

image courtesy of telthona.deviantart.com

∼ 

Travelling

Immortality

Moving

Eternally

Through the smallest of increments

Of measured moments

As the shimmering incandescence

Settled into an everlasting

And evanescent form

Of an elemental being

Scales of iridescent gold and blue

Glittering in the velvety dark

The Gold Dragon’s beautiful form

Filling the silent cavern

With the hair tingling effects of magic

∼ 

As she rippled briefly

Changing her form within the beat of a human heart

When the eye watering brilliance faded

In the mighty dragons stead

There stood an beautiful ephemeral creature

Hair of deepest moonless black

Hanging down below her waist in ebony waves

Translucent skin glowing with a golden otherworldly glow

Her eyes shone brightly like an azure sapphire

This beautiful magical creature

Twice blessed with beauty

A glittering dragon in female form

A dark-haired beauty in human form

Able to wander this land again

Searching……

Searching for salvation for her kind

Travelling

Immortality

Moving

Eternally

#Time

image courtesy of http://www.blingcheese.com

 

Blessings, Susan ♥

© Susan Jamieson, August 2014

 

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#Inecapable Time

Time’s miraculous passage through our lives. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

“The illimitable, silent, never-resting thing called Time, rolling, rushing on, swift, silent, like an all-embracing ocean-tide, on which we and all the universe swim like exhalations, like apparitions which are, and then are not”…. ~Thomas Carlyle

It seems at one and the same time, absolutely incredible that not one month, nor two but almost three months have passed since I last wrote a post for Owls and Orchids. It has never been very far from my mind, yet there seems to have been a never-ending stream of events, of things, which needed to be done, or attended to and the days were gone before I knew it.

In some ways it was always going to happen, I simply didn’t think it would be such a long time. I made a promise to myself, that after the previous fourteen month of drug imposed restrictions that I was going to do as much as I could, to get the move from New South Wales to Queensland done – MY WAY!

Perhaps that was where things began to unravel. I was, at that time, still in a lot of pain and felt indescribably wretched from the copious amounts of antibiotics still in my system. My release from the Lyme induced prison had not yet relinquished its hold on me, even if I had been given the “all clear” that I did not, in fact, have, nor ever had Lyme disease. That alone sent my mind into dizzying circles, from which it was often hard to extricate myself. Yet, we had the move to our new home to arrange and I refused to sit, or lay, idly by whilst the hectic work revolved around me.

The new place in Redland Bay was a delightful enticement after the disappointments of Ocean Shores. I would miss the view of the ocean, but in reality, I had been ensconced in my four square prison and only intermittently was able to get outside to see and enjoy it. The irony is not lost on me that I have exchanged, what was supposed to be a location, filled with ocean views, fresh air, healthy and relaxing, for one which is, well, almost suburbia. I say almost, because we are a little off the beaten track, just in a small pocket of civilisation where I can access the dreaded pharmacy, much more easily visit my doctor and, a five-minute stroll arrive at a beautiful water enclosure, boardwalk, trees and filled with all manner of bird life and the occasional kangaroo and wallaby. We have yet to visit the spot where the wallabies come out in early morning and evening to get some photos – but, all in good time.  The camera has yet to be downloaded of all its photos!

 

Falling in with the packing! Image courtesy of busybeingfabulous.com

But – THE MOVE! An interminable number of boxes seemed to parade in front of me daily, each filled and taped to be replaced by another. This, after having decided not to unpack the majority of our belongings, as we felt uncomfortable within moments of getting the keys at Ocean Shores.

I achieved more in that last month than I had for the previous fourteen. I found muscles which had been hammered in the forges of medical experimentation and proclaimed loudly their new abuse. Yet it was also a good feeling. I felt once more, that I was finally achieving something worthwhile. Time seemed, not an enemy, but a friend again.

The relocation was tiring and time-consuming  as they usually are. The large spaces we had seen were rapidly engulfed by more and more boxes as the truck was unloaded. Daily more boxes were unpacked as homes for their contents were found – and yes, I was deciding where things were to be housed. It was a glorious feeling, knowing that I was arranging my kitchen, my clothes, my books, all the many things which make a house into a home. I was doing all those things once more. No longer would I wander around the house, wondering where something had been stored because I hadn’t unpacked it. Time had regained its orderly flow once more. In control and loving it – or so I like to believe. And no, I don’t believe control is the big baddy it has been made out to be.

 

#Inescapable Time

I saw time slipping away as I rushed through each day. Image courtesy of mariana-a.deviantart.com

“Time is a very healing place, one in which you can grow.” ~Denise Tanner

Yet herein I also found my obsession again. That indefinable and inseparable part of myself which wanted everything to be placed “just so”. As things took shape around me I found a greater impetus each day to keep going, despite the increasing pain, to forge my new home into the vision I had for it. Boxes have an amazing array of hard edges and corners, a depth to them which defies normal reach and I found myself entrapped and attacked by the capriciousness of cardboard!

An unfortunate three weeks with a heavy cold cramped my style in ways I hadn’t foreseen. Frustration ran rampant, as I looked with growing dislike at the small number of boxes I had unpacked each day. This was in no way helped by an officious and supercilious doctor, who decided she knew me, my condition and what I needed more than I did after a mere five-minute consultation. So much for a simple script for antibiotics to cure the chest infection, and pain meds to help me “soldier on”. Meds I should add, which I showed her I had been prescribed by my doctor and had taken for some time. She promptly decided to re write my medication needs and refused to give me the pain meds at all. – If I’m suffering now it must be due to the uncomplimentary names I called her for several days after this visit. Needless to say, I won’t be visiting her again!
So, here we are finally. I still have my crystal display case to unpack and sort out, but that is the final item. I really prefer to leave all those fragile and sentimental items until everything else is in place. But, I’m here, and with the help of Spirit, life can begin in a new and more delightful way than ever.
Time passes and new things are found in unexpected places. Obstacles will be overcome and life can take its new path. The delights of the newly discovered will once more be mine.

 

#Inescapable Time

Carried away on Unicorn dreams. Image courtesy of Josephine Wall Art

 

“Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new… but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?” ~Paracelsus

Blessings, Susan

© July 2014 Susan Jamieson

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Question and Answer

image from freelyassociating.org

Questions

Questions

Without answers

Without time

Without reason

Just

Questions to be asked

Answers expected

Because that’s why

Questions are asked

Time

Creeps so slowly

Whilst you are waiting

For something to arrive

Time

Speeds quickly past

With so much to do

Time is such a contrary beast

When all you want is to know

When you can get there

Without a fuss

How long it will be fair

When the rain pours down

Or why it needs to be so hot

When your head pounds

Like a demented stone mason

Attacking you with pick and hammer

Questions without answers

They simply are

They always will be

Because they are……Questions

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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Through the Looking Glass

image from gamesfortrainers.blogspot.com

“A good plan of today is better than a great plan of tomorrow. Look back with satisfaction and move forward with confidence.” – Ritu Ghatourey

As some of you may know, I am the director of a self-development program called Life Change 90. One of the tried and proven methods in self-development is the review phase.  For some it’s a lot easier than others.

For example: a single person may find it easy to schedule enough time to review the  month, quarter, half-year or year in the space of an afternoon up to a weekend. They have only themselves, as a rule, to concern themselves when they are scheduling the time and focusing on their results, achievements and next plans.

For a couple without children, it may be possible for them to do their individual reviews in a similar manner, but when they review their joint, couple oriented goals, they may need to schedule a weekend and for that they have the ability, without constraints, to go away for a weekend to really focus on where they want to head in the coming time frame.  I should also add that there are no limits with respect to the time frame when they are doing their plans. They can have short, mid-term and long-term plans. Some plans may stretch into a few years in the future or longer, it depends on what they are working towards.

Through the Looking Glass

image from projectavalon.net

However, when you think about a family, the parents of young children have the same aspirations with their goals but their time availability may be drastically curtailed. They are reliant on finding someone to look after their children for however long they can afford to get away. In this context, afford has several meanings, from financial to time and all manner of things in between. So for a couple, with children it may be a bigger challenge than for a single person – and then again, it may not.

However, I’d like to show you a specific example of how easy or difficult this can be.  Our children are all adults, we have the ‘empty nest’ syndrome, but that does not mean that we are time rich. Due to the limitations created by my health issues, finding time when I can truly focus on planning is severely restricted. That is, if I wish to be a contributing partner in the planning.  Add to this, the very real-time challenge presented to my husband who does so many other things to help me in the house and to ensure our relationship remains as vibrant as possible under the circumstances. (I help here too).

Through the Looking Glass

image from preparetochange.com

This weekend has been the first opportunity I, personally, have had when I have been able to give the time to this planning since before I became ‘really ill’.  We had made plans earlier, right up to the time when the wedding took place. However, since then, probably because of the extra stress I put myself under, I haven’t been up to the challenge of planning the next phase.  It’s also been a case of consolidating all that we had planned to that point and those things which were still in motion after that. But, we were ready for a review; it was simply awaiting my ‘availability.

I have to be honest, brutally honest; I really wasn’t totally behind the idea. I haven’t felt ‘good’ for quite a while, Christmas is just around the next weekend and I feel woefully under prepared.  That too is an exaggeration, but it is my reality. I happen to be one of those people who need to have everything arranged down to the last gasp.  Hence the series of heel taps I’ve had all day.

Getting away from home was a nightmare. Nothing wanted to work out right and we were later than we had planned.  Then we were held up in Brisbane when it should have been a quick stop. The traffic on the way to Tambourine was sluggish to say the least. By the time we arrived on the mountain I was tired, sore and not in the mood to start reviewing!  However, I’ve now had dinner, relaxed, watched a little TV, showered and feel ready to do what we came here for.  Tomorrow we start.  I’ll let you know how we go.

To Be Continued…………..

Ciao,  Susan

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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I am tired

I am lonely

I live alone in my cocoon

image from http://www.counseling.org

Aware of nothing else

But the butterfly

Hiding somewhere inside

Cannot emerge too soon

Left hanging

Suspended

Time drifts slowly by

Whilst all around

Stars float softly

Across the sky

The sun passes

High in the sky

Still alone she waits

Time is no friend

Alone in her captivity

That never ends

© Susan Jamieson 2013

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When your back is to the wall and you are facing fear head on, the only way is forward and through it.”   Stephen Richards,

The day began like every other this week, pain like I’ve never known before. For someone with a high pain threshold, for someone who has always detested being limited by anything external or internal to myself, this pain is akin to an enemy. It doesn’t help to be told I have to accept that it is what it is.  It doesn’t tell me how I’m supposed to make peace with my current situation. I can do nothing else except acknowledge that this is how my life currently is, but it is most definitely is not how it will always be.

I believe, and refuse to contemplate otherwise, that this is a temporary ‘thing’. Yes, it’s been a very long ‘temporary’ thing, but it will go. How, why or when I cannot say, yet I know that this is an immutable truth. It’s simply hard to hang onto in the morning hours.

Without belabouring it I’d like to paint a picture for you: at the precise moment wakefulness commences an intense pain lodges behind your eyes and around your skull. It feels as though your head is being crushed in a medieval torture device and your eyes are about to burst. Cracking open your eyelids the scintillating light blasts into your retinas like a sun flare. You cannot move your head or any part of your body. Every bone is screaming in pain and your muscles are like water vapour, scalding and without strength. Like an aged and ill-used vehicle I am coaxed to the bathroom, and later the pills and potions commence.

The morning passes in a haze of brief periods of wakefulness when pills and potions are taken, and something small to be considered food to fulfill the adjunct that “It must be taken with food”. Eyes closed against the glare, despite wearing sunglasses in a curtained room, the mind retreats from consciousness to avoid the presence of pain. It feels like I’m simply fading away, piece by inexorable piece.

image from freyabigg.deviantart.com                                       JUST FADING AWAY

By early afternoon I’m reaching an almost human stage. I can sit up and communicate in words of longer than one syllable. I was in the middle of doing my journal and my husband decided to go to the post office. Embarrassingly for me, it means he has decided he can safely leave me alone for a few minutes to make the short trip there and back.  What a burden!

He had been gone but moments, or so it felt when I heard the noise I loathe most and which is repeated most often here. There was no screech of brakes this time just a house jarring thump of two vehicles coming to an abrupt halt – against each other. In one split second everything changed.

Perhaps it was just my state of physicality more than my state of mind. “Oh NO”, was an involuntary gasp which felt wrenched from somewhere deep inside my chest. A terror I have never felt before was sweeping me along on a rip tide. Struggling out of the sheets, which tangled like demons around my legs I dashed for the front door. The litany of “Oh No” never-ceasing.

Miracles happen when the body is under extremes. I haven’t been able to do more than shuffle my way around for months, yet today I ran from the house. I saw my husband’s car in the driveway. This meant he was in my car, my smaller car!  The litany continued with more urgency.

Around the hedge I ran, the dead seed pods cutting into my bare feet. I saw the first car, a white ute, smashed in at the front and wheel bent back underneath the engine. If anything my primal instincts reared higher. The litany was interrupted momentarily by “Oh My God” and resumed with “Oh No” as I continued running to the corner to find the other car.  A group of men were standing at the corner as I arrived. What they must have thought at the sight of a pyjama clad, disheveled and obviously distraught woman running towards them I dread to think.

image from carrollbryant.blogspot.com

I reached the group, scanning the road for my car which was not in sight. He was not there – safe at the post office. In one split second the enormity of how I felt, what I thought came crashing down on me.  I held out my hand to the man closest to me, noticing that it was trembling violently. I barely recognised my voice asking it anyone needed an ambulance calling. Was that my voice breaking? I trued to stammer an apology as I started to cry.  As the tears fell I tried to explain I heard the accident and thought, for one split second I thought, my husband had been involved in the accident.

The kindness of the man I spoke with, Kevin, whose ute was wrecked in the accident, was touching. Apologizing over and over as he hugged me! He led me back home. Rational thought was almost beyond me. Offering him a drink I knew I would never be able to make, I insisted he sit as he called his friend to pick him up.

Ray arrived home a moment later. For one split second it seemed unreal to see him standing there. It felt as though I had been granted a reprieve although I cannot explain why. When Kevin left a minute later I tried to explain what had happened, how for One Split Second I forgot everything. Knowing he was okay, knowing I would be able to tell if he was hurt or worse. For one Split Second I let irrational fear into my heart and it ruled me completely. The intuition which guides me always, I let fly out the window.

Stupid and irrational fear ruled me for One Split Second and left in its wake a shock so profound it has made me ill for the rest of the day. My pride has been assaulted because I failed to react the way I always have, with cool composure, control, common sense and logic. Being ruled by emotions is alien, new and almost fearsome. It was definitely frightening to be so out of control.

image from 1ms.net

“Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery, an adventure, and like most adventures, you don’t know you’re having one until you’re right in the middle of it.”
E.A. Bucchianeri,

It is said that love conquers all. It certainly made an impact today,but then it does every day. I am grateful no-one was hurt, as grateful as I am for the kindness shown me by a complete stranger. I am also humbled to learn the depth of love a person can hold in their hearts. Today was a day of revelations and all in One Split Second.

Blessings to all,

Susan xx

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